MY ADOPTION
I was two weeks old when I was given to a couple who couldn't have any more children. My mother was unwed and did not believe she could provide me the proper life. I have not seen her, except in a photo, since that time. I have, just recently, begun to search for her. I have a photograph and a name, but that's all. Someday I will find her.
My adopted parents had one boy and two girls, already. They wanted another son. A mutual aquaintance told them about me. I became the baby of the family. Everyone played with me and I was usually the center of attention, among my siblings. My parents told me, from the start, that I was adopted. It didn't really mean anything to me, until I got into my teens. Because I was so young, when I came to live with them, they waited until I was about 12 years old to adopt me. They told me their lawyer had advised them to wait because, at that age, my opinion would carry more weight with the judge. After seeing what they went through, in order to adopt me, I was left with no doubts that they loved me.
Even though both of my adopted parents have passed on, I feel it would be wrong to search for my birth-parents. I understand that it is usual for an adoptee to search when they reach middle age. I believe that it would only be cruel to search for them now, after living as a female. It would be good to know the family's medical history, however, I choose not to confront them with these changes.
I don't know if my transgendered feelings were created by my adoption or if they were only complicated by it. I've read about the rejection that is felt by an adoptee. Rejection from being given up and the sense of loss, of one's past, can shatter an ego. It is only because of that rejection that I have waited so long to admit my desires. Now that my parents are gone, and now that I will lose some of my family due to my life style, I feel that rejection even stronger. The difference lies in the fact that I know I am being true to the God who created me. It is always much easier to be yourself, instead of what everyone else expects of you. I can now handle the rejection from those who refuse to accept me because I know that God has adopted me.
May we all experience His_Adoption.
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