They replaced their clothing and huddled against each other silently taking in each ones presence.
The cave looked directly out to the Ocean, it’s crashing waves making echoing sounds throughout the cave. The beach was ages away, and their surroundings were silent except for the sound of the waves.
“It’s so pretty here” she remarked
They had been so caught up in the surroundings they had no idea what time it was even. Serena looked down at her watch, it read 2:56pm. She looked again just to be sure she couldn’t believe that much time had slipped by.
“I don’t want to leave you” he said directly
“It’s only for a while” she replied running her hand down his face
“Will you still be here when I get back?” he questions solemnly
“Of course” she whispers
She wanted to tell him about the cancer, about the medication, about everything, but she couldn’t bring herself to, looking at his shining eyes she just couldn’t bare to tell him.
~ 8 DAYS LATER – 25th FEBRUARY 2001 ~
Serena rubbed her eyes again, and yawned loudly.
“You didn’t have to come” Kevin states wrapping his arm around her
“Yes I (yawn) did. I’m just a little tired, I'm not used to waking up at 5 in the morning to (yawn) go to the airport”
Kevin smiled down at her as he watched her struggle to keep her eyes open.
The van came to a halt. Two bulky security guards stepped out first allowing AJ Kevin and Serena to hop out of the van after them. The rest of the guys were in the van behind.
The airport was deserted, no body really knew that they were leaving today. They walked into the terminal and were quickly guided down the back way, and shown down to where their personal jet was waiting.
“Traveling in style huh?” she remarked, trying to make light the situation
“Promise me you’ll be waiting here when I get back?”
She nodded slowly and replied with the words “I promise”
He leaned down and softly kissed her red lips. It was a short kiss, but one that said everything that needed to be said. She meant the world to him.
“We have to go” AJ softly remarked
Kevin nodded stiffly to his friend then turned his attention back to Serena.
“I’ll see you in a month” she smiled, fluffing her hand through his dark hair
“I’ll ring you everyday”
“Pinky promise?”
She extended her pinky finger.
“Promise” he replied taking her pinky finger, with his own finger.
With that he turned and followed his friends down the boarding tunnel, leaving Serena alone hugging herself gently. She’d still not told him, and she really couldn’t bear to.
~ 5 DAYS LATER – FRIDAY 2nd MARCH 2001 ~
“Serena it’s not good” John remarked studding the papers in front of him
“The cancers growing rapidly, we need to get you back on a Chemo program” he continued
“No, I told you I wasn’t going back to that life and I’m not” She huffed
“Serena, this isn’t a game or a challenge, you need chemo”
“I said no” she stood up and walked to the door
“What about him?” John questions
“What about who?” she inquires turning to face him
“Natalia told me about him. What would he want you to do – fight surely?”
“He’d want me to have hair. But for your information, he doesn’t know”
“You haven’t told him?”
“No, the time hasn’t been right. I told you I was done with Chemo John, deal with it”
She walked out of the room and stormed down the corridor, she could feel the tears welling up, but she wasn’t going to let herself cry, and she wasn’t going to go back to her old life.
~ 19 DAYS LATER – SUNDAY 21st MARCH 2001 ~
Serena coughed loudly in her sleep. She moaned loudly to herself, then pulled herself out of the comfort of her bed. She suddenly felt unbearably ill. Her head spun in various directions, and felt light and dizzy. She reached for her lamp and switched it on light came flooding into the once pitch black room. She stood up, but couldn’t manage to keep her balance, her legs toppled underneath and she collapsed to the ground with a scream. Then everything went black.
~ AN HOUR LATER ~
Serena could feel her head thumping, the sound was loud an irritating through her skull. She looked around the room, it wasn’t her room, but defiantly one she remembered well, she was in the hospital, though how she got there, she had no idea.
“Serena, thank goodness you’re awake” the elderly man said
She knew the man, he was the landlord at the flats where she lived.
“What happened?” she questions rubbing her sore head
She felt a bump on her forehead, it was sore to the touch she must have hit her head on something she concluded.
“Well me and the Mrs. Were just about to turn in for the night, when we heard you scream, thought we better check it out, we knocked on the door for ages but you didn’t answer so I used the keys to get in, hope you don’t mind. Anyway you were collapsed on the floor so we rung the ambulance and they bought you here”
Serena looked around confused, she couldn’t remember a thing.
“Mr. Harvey could you please excuse us?” John questions walking into the room
He smiled down at Serena, tapped her exposed arm and walked out, smiling at John before he left.
“We need to talk, this time friend to friend, not patient to doctor”
“Go away” Serena mumbled turning her face away like a scolded child
“This is serious, it’s spreading, knocking down your defenses as it goes”
“I told you no”
“You can barely stand up”
“I'm fine”
“You cant go on like this, go back to chemo”
“No!” she said firmly
A second doctor walked in the room, holding a plain brown clip board. He walked over to Serena checking the levels on the IV stuck in her arm.
“Take this out of me, I’m going home” she requested sternly
“I don’t think that would be a very good idea, we need to get this into you, you’re very weak, you’re immune system is wearing down, not to mention that nasty cut on you’re head, you may have a concussion, we need you to stay in for at least a day”
“You need outside help Serena” John pleaded
“Leave” she replied flopping her face to the other side of the pillow
John sighed and threw his hands in the air in disbelief, then walked out of the room.
~ THE NEXT DAY – 22nd MARCH 2001 ~
Serena lay looking up to the plain white ceiling no expression what so ever on her face. She didn’t care for the hospital, she hated been around sick people it only reminded her of all the time she spent in a hospital bed, similar to the one she lay in now. He mind was wandering around the prospect of telling Kevin everything, she couldn’t imagine how to, what would she say? What would he say? Her heart sunk at the possibilities.
The same doctor as last night came in the room, looking like he had been devoid of all sleep.
“How are you today?” he questions cheerily
Serena could tell straight away his pleasant tone was nothing but a put on.
“Quite this morning, aren’t we?”
She refused to answer again.
He looked down at her, barely smiling. He then looked up once again checking something to do with the drip in her arm.
“How’s the head?” he inquires looking briefly at the cut across her forehead
“When can I leave?” she asked brutally
“You should really consider having some more Chemo”
“You should really consider minding your own business”
“Look I know that John cares about you and he has your best interests in mind, why wont you seek help?”
“I don’t want it, I don’t want any of this. Unhook this damn machine off me now, I’m going home”
She stood up abruptly and reached for the needle in her arm.
“Don’t, you’ll only hurt yourself, we can’t let you go yet, you’re not strong enough”
“Take it out, or I will”
They stared each other down for a moment, before the doctor called for the nurse.
A young blond looking girl came bounding in the room.
“Renee would you remove this lady’s IV please, it seems she would like to leave”
~ 7 DAYS LATER – 30th MARCH 2001 ~
Serena smiled slightly to herself in the mirror, she fixed her hair slightly running a brush through it. She scoured at the cut on her forehead it still hadn’t healed properly. She applied the lip gloss to her pinkish lips, and grabbed her bag off her bed. The flight landed at 7:30 AM, it was now 7:00.
She grabbed her keys off the cabinet and sprinted out the door. She was overjoyed today, he was coming home, it had been a month of phone calls practically every night, but now he was finally coming home.
~ 30 MINUTES LATER ~
She waited nervously by the gateway of the tunnel where she had been directed, once again the airport was relatively deserted. She had spotted some people holding camera’s and talking about the Backstreet Boys, but they had headed down the other end of the airport terminal. There was however assorted family members and girlfriends waiting with Serena, the dived into a light conversation but everyone was far to anxious to continue idle chatter.
Brian appeared first from the tunnel with Nick by his side, the two were engaged in some conversation that made both of them laugh. Two beefy guys were close behind looking around suspiciously. Followed by Howie and another big guy both looking in desperate need of sleep. Kevin appeared finally with AJ by his side, as well as two other guys. Serena smiled to herself, he looked exactly the same as he did when he left, not that she’d imagined he would have changed any, she was just glad to see the familiar stable face.
His eyes locked onto her, and suddenly the conversation him and AJ had been having became oblivious, she was the only thing on his mind. He speed up his pace, leaving AJ and the others behind. He ran directly up to her, and stopped in front of her.
“Hi” He whispered taking her into his arms
“Told you I’d be here” she smiled allowing herself to be smothered in his embrace.
“What happened?” he questions noticing the cut on her forehead
“Oh this” she say touching it “Funny story actually I ran into a door, I’ll tell you about it sometime” she laughed
“I missed you” He whispered into her ear
“We have to get going” one of the security guards prompted.
~ LATER THAT NIGHT ~
The coffee slipped easily down her throat as she sat bundled up next to Kevin listening to his tales of Europe, the interviews, the radio visits, the fans – everything.
“Am I boring you?” he questions burring his head in her hair
“No” she replies shaking her head at the same time
“Sure?” he smiles
“Positive”
“So tell me your funny story, about the cut on your head”
“Come to think of it, it’s not that funny”
“Tell me” he pleads
“In fact it’s not at all humorous, it’s the most unfunny thing”
“Rena tell me” he directs, poising his fingers as though he was about to pounce
“What if I don’t?” she smartly replies
“I’ll have to tickle you into submission”
She smiled from ear to ear, and cocked to head slightly first.
“Gotta catch me first” she laughed springing to feet and bounding out of the room.
She bolted up the stairs with Kevin in hot pursuit. The alarming sound of the phone ringing immediately stopped the chase. Kevin picked up the phone.
“Hello?” he answered
“Can I speak to Miss Serena Cutter please?” the voice announced
After Serena’s parents died her name was changed to Cutter, in hopes that doing that would give her a normal upbringing. Serena had since stuck with that name, she had no need nor want to change it.
“Uh she’s a little busy, can I take a message?” Kevin replied, knowing Serena was cowering upstairs somewhere.
“Could you please tell her the results are back in and it’s as doctor Cutter suspected, the cancer is spreading rapidly”
Kevin’s jaw plummeted to the floor – “cancer?” – surely he hadn’t said cancer.
“Sir?”
“You want me to tell her the results are back and her cancer is spreading?” Kevin inquired calmly as possible
“Yes”
“No problem, I’ll pass it on”
“And if she could ring Dr. Cutter when she’s not busy”
“Yeah sure. Bye”
“Bye”
Kevin replaced the receiver and stood standing completely shocked.
Serena emerged from the bedroom and looked quizzically down at Kevin.
“Was that the phone?” she questions
“Uhuh”
“Who was it?”
“The doctor”
Serena’s heart stopped, what had Kevin been told?
“Why don’t you start telling me what’s going on?” he declares looking up
“What did he say?”
“Tell me what’s going on?”
Kevin’s voice slowly began to rise.
“Nothings going on” she says turning away from him.
“The cancer, it’s as doctor Cutter suspected, it’s spreading – and rapidly” Kevin announces mimicking the voice on the phone.
Serena spun around and looked down the stairs to where Kevin was standing.
“Tell me Serena – what’s going on?”
She strolled back down the stairs, her face unable to meet his.
“I have cancer” she said ever so softly
He knew she’d say that, but the words still came as a shock to him.
“How long have you known?”
“Since I was 18”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
His expression was one of hurt and confusion.
“I didn’t know how to”
“Were you ever planning on telling me?”
“Yes”
Her answer was trying to sound honest, but it just seemed to fail.
“No you weren’t” he replies studding her eyes closely
“So in the begging what was I? Just a planned one night? Just a little fun?”
She knew he was completely right, but how could she ever admit to that?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he repeated
“Kevin –“
“No, you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me here, I was just a little fun Serena, why don’t you admit it?”
He turned and walked to the door, ripping up his coat from the hanger on the way.
“Where are you going?” she questions taking hold of his arm
“I cant be here” he simply replied
He walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.