Chapter 18 - Finding Forgiveness
“I'm not afraid of you, you don’t
have that power over me anymore” she announced strongly
“Now let me ask you something, does it feel good? Huh? Do
like the feeling of hurting someone who did nothing wrong but
love you? Mom loved the unlovable, and she died for that. Does
that make you feel good”
Her words
struck him harshly, as she spoke with a venomous tongue.
“Shut up”
he snapped slamming his fist down onto the table
“Is that
the only emotion you know? Anger is your life, you have nothing
else. I hope you rot in hell, and there is nothing you can do to
me anymore”
“I
created you”
“Nothing
but sperm, you will NEVER be my father, I wont EVER love you,
because you don’t know how to love”
“Shut up!”
he screamed toppling over the table
Jet jumped
back slightly, but kept her composure.
“You’ll
never be more than this” she whispered coldly
“I’ll
kill you!”
“Go
ahead. Kill me, go on, just do it, I’ll be with mom, where
you cant hurt us anymore, and you’ll still be the same
miserable old man, that lost the only things good in his life. So
go on, do it”
“I didn’t
mean to kill her” he muttered backing away from Jet, her
face reminding him of her mother.
“But you
did. You had no right to, all she ever did was love you, she
loved you blindly, giving her heart and her soul, and in the end
her life for a man that couldn’t love her back”
Ryan starred
down at her before exiting the room slamming the door behind him.
~ 5 HOURS
LATER ~
Nick starred
down at his watch, wishing the time would hurry up, he still had
around 3 hours in the journey left, but it seemed each minute he
got more desperate to see Jet again.
~ AT THE SAME
TIME ~
“We have
parties scowering the area” Office Harold sighed, wishing he
had some better news for Devin
“That’s
it? That’s the god damn best you can do? My sister is out
there with a deranged fucker and all you can say is you have
search parties, fuck you, and fuck this whole thing, I'm going
out there myself” he announced opening the front door
One of the
other officers went to stop him, but Howard gestured to let him
go.
~ AT THE SAME
TIME ~
Jet and Ryan
sat in silence, he’d gone for a few minutes and returned
with some food, none of which Jet wanted, or would take. So there
it sat, untouched on the table, destined to stay that way.
“You hate
me don’t you?” Ryan muttered gulping back the beer in
his hands
“Would
you hate you?” Jet responded, without even looking at him
“Answer
my question!” he screamed
“Or what?
You beat me over the head you sick fucker? Yes I hate you, I hate
you more than I’ve hated anyone else in my life, I hate
everything about you, there happy?”
“I said I
didn’t mean to kill ya mother”
“So? You
killed her, and you cant even admit that that was wrong, you cant
even say sorry”
“Why
should I?”
Jet spat down
at his feet.
“I could
kill you in a second” he screamed his hand grabbing onto her
neck.
Jet poised for
a moment, her eyes starring into his.
“Then
like I said, do it. Just fucking do it”
Ryan yanked
his hand away in frustration.
~ 3 HOURS
LATER ~
The plane
touched down at the airport, as Nick hurriedly grabbed his
belongings from the overhead compartment.
~ AT THE SAME
TIME ~
Devin cell
phone rung beside him as he cruised through the deserted country
road, desperately searching for some sign of his sister.
“Hello?”
Devin answered
“Devin?
It’s Harold, you need to come back to the house right now,
we think we know where your sister is”
Devin pressed
the ‘end’ button and did a u-turn in the middle of the
road, and sped down the road.
~ AT THE SAME
TIME ~
“I just
wanted to make things right with you jet” Ryan sighed
“It’ll
never be right, it’s too late for that” Jet remarked
“I never
wanted to hurt her, I couldn’t control my anger and
–“
“Don’t”
Jet interrupted “don’t make excuses, you did something
wrong, just admit it, just god damn admit that you killed her and
that you cant bring her back, for fucks sake just for once in
your life take responsibility for what you did” Jet cried
“I’ve
spent the last how many years in prison for that mistake”
“That
doesn’t mean anything” a soft breeze blew on her face
from a cracked window “it doesn’t mean anything unless
you admit you killed her. But you wont will you? Because then you’ll
be wrong, and you’ve spent your whole damn life telling
yourself you’re never wrong. You don’t get it do you?
It doesn’t matter how long you were in jail, it doesn’t
matter it you didn’t MEAN to kill her, you did and nothing
can bring her back”
“Then
what am I supposed to do”
“Repent.
Someone once taught me that it didn’t matter what I did in
the past, it didn’t matter who I was once before if I could
simply admit what I had done, and say sorry, that maybe one day I
would be forgiven”
“Jet I'm
sorry” he whispered, his once angry eyes fading away
“Why? Why
did you kill her” Jet wept
“I don’t
know, but if I could turn back time, if I could take her place, I
swear to you I would” he cried softly
~ 10 MINUTES
LATER ~
Devin rushed
through the front door of the house.
“Where?
Where is she?” he muttered as the officers stood huddled in
a circle.
“We got
some reports of screaming and yelling coming from an abandoned
house halfway between here and Miami, we think its him”
Harold remarked
“Then
what are we waiting for?” Devin chorused
“Where is
she?” Nick inquired breaking through the two police officers
that guarded the front door.
“I’ll
fill you in on the way” Devin announced pushing Nick out the
door
~ 20 MINUTES
LATER ~
“Do you
mean what you say?” Jet inquired softly, it was hard for her
to see her father like this, it was hard to relive old memories,
but in his eyes she saw the sadness, and it was then she truly
believed that he knew he was wrong, and that deep down, past the
rough exterior he was sorry.
“I’d
give my life to bring her back, to stop your pain” he said
gently “God forgive me Jet. You forgive me”
“I don’t
think I can” Jet whispered
~ AT THE SAME
TIME ~
“We have
a visual, and it’s our man” a voice boomed through the
police radio
“We’ll
be there in 5 minutes” Harold announced looking across at
Nick and Devin “Jet will be okay” he said sincerely
~ 5 MINUTES
LATER ~
“Ryan
McKennith, we have you surrounded, let Jet go, and surrender any
weapons you have” Harold announced through a loud speaker
Jet looked up
from the table, to see a look of shock on Ryan’s face.
“I knew
they would be here soon enough” he remarked
“You need
to let me go” Jet muttered
“I know.
They’ll take me back to jail”
“You need
help, if you get it, maybe one day you’ll be my father again”
There were
soft tears in his eyes as he saw the pain in Jet’s, it was
though a blanket had been lifted, and he finally saw the pain he
caused.
“Stay
ready” Harold announced to the sharp shooters lined up
around the house.
“You need
to go out first” Ryan announced untying jet’s hands
“I’ll come out behind you” he continued as she
stood up
“I think
if mom was here, she’d tell me that all people can change if
they want to, and that she’d be proud of you” Jet
whispered her bottom lip quivering
They walked to
the door and opened it.
“I know
your mothers watching you, up in heaven” Ryan whispered
letting Jet go out through the door. She turned to see him,
gesturing for her to keep walking. He watched her walk down the
porch. Nick broke free from the officer holding him back, and
rushed up to her, embracing her tightly. She collapsed into his
arms in a torrent of tears and exhaustion. She turned around to
notice Ryan hadn’t followed her, and as she turned a loud
bang echoed through the countryside as a revolver pierced the
head of her father, hidden away in the rackety shack.
The police
rushed the house, to find what they suspected, Ryan had shot
himself point blank range in the side of the head. There was no
pulse, no sign of life, he was dead.