Chapter Twelve: A Secret Told

"I wish we could be alone" I purred into his ear, smiling contentedly
"I know Riyan, I know" he replied, sighing
"Could we?" I inquired, biting my lip. After last night I had this overpower urge to relive it.
He looked at me softly, his eyebrow raising slightly as he began to smile.
"And we do you suppose we go?" he laughed
"Um, I dunno, Home, I could fake been unwell, we could go back to the hotel"
"Riyan, we both know we cant let anyone even think something is going on"
I sighed.
"I know"
I frowned irritatingly. I knew he had a point, and I agreed, but it made this awfully difficult.
"You go back to the hotel, I'll see you in 20 minutes" he winked as the music stopped
We parted ways as I slinked back to the table, he went across to where Nick and Belle were.

"Uh, Michael" I smiled as he sat talking to Kevin
He looked up and greeted me with a smile.
"I'm pretty exhausted, do you mind if I leave?"
"Not a problem Riyan, gather your coat and bag, I'll get one of the limo's to drive you back to the hotel" he smiled sweetly, touching my arm gently. With that he got up and walked off.
"You okay Riyan?" Kevin questioned, concern on his face
"Oh I'll be okay, just tired" I lied picking up my purse from the back of my chair
"Get some rest then" he grinned as Michael came back
"You can go now" he smiled
"Uh thanks"
"You don't need Alleah to go with you?"
"No, its fine, tell her to stay, have fun, I'm just going to sleep" I laughed

~ 10 MINUTES LATER ~
I closed the hotel door behind me, as I removed my shoes, tossing them to the side of the door. I wandered barefoot across the room into my room, unzipping the back of my dress as I went. I slipped it off, and covered myself in a silk nightgown, I unpinned my hair letting in fall carelessly down my back. I looked at myself closely in the mirror, perhaps looking for what Brian saw in me. I still saw the awkward girl I'd always seen, with the long skinny arms and the haphazardly curly hair, but there was something different in my eyes, I wasn't sure what, but something, like I knew more - maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I suppose only time would tell.

I waited another 10 minutes before I heard a light knocking on the main door. I scooted across the room and opened it quickly. Brian slinked in, closing the door behind him as he encased me and kissed me passionately. We backed across the room to the bedroom. He kicked the door shut as we toppled onto the bed. His hand ran the length of my body as he lay beside me.

"Hello" he winked
"Hello to you too" I smirked, as I subconsciously rubbed the side of his face
"So we're all alone?"
I nodded, biting my bottom lip.
"What do you suppose we do?" he laughed
"Can I ask you something?" I blushed
He nodded quickly.
"Is it possible to be addicted to something you've only had once before?" I laughed
"And what's that supposed to mean?" he grinned, torturing me to say exactly what I meant
"I cant stop thinking about you, like THAT" I hinted, my face glowing a peachy color
I rolled over on top of him, placing my head on his chest. I listened for a while to his heart beating, the sound a mesmerizing tune. He ran is hand softly through my hair, as I squirmed to remove his top from underneath me. I undid the buttons on his shirt reveal his bare chest. My hands slithered across it, exploring him more closely then I had done last night. My right hand slithered underneath the waistband of his pants, as I grinned lightly. His hand caught my wrist as I looked up at him.
"What are you doing?" he laughed, I could feel him growing underneath me, whatever I was doing, he liked it.
"Exploring" I shrugged
"Really?"
"You don't mind do you?" I questioned, coking my head to the side, and pushing my thighs against his legs
"Uh no" he managed to breathe
I laughed at his expression as I slithered to sitting on his thighs. I undid the fly on his black pants and pulled them down as far as I could, pulling the sides apart as though I was peeling a banana. He sat with his head propped up slightly, his hands above his head. I looked down at the boxer shorts that were still on him, they too had a button fly.
"Do you mind?" I whispered as I undid the first button
He shook his head as I continued down the line, also pushing them down as far as I could. I sat there, just looking for a moment, I mean last night I'd never really LOOKED down there. I slid back up his body, his smile a mile wide, as I pushed his pants fully down his legs.
"Look at this, you're completely naked, and I'm not" I laughed as he kicked his pants to the floor
"Should I do something about that?" he smiled
I shook my head. "Nope, I told you, I want to explore. I want to see what you like"
The corner of his mouth curved into a smile, as I slid my legs between his. I breathed softly kissing the middle of his chest. My lips moved up to his nipple, as I freely flicked my tongue across it. I could feel him hard against my legs as his hands rubbed my back.
"You have a very good tongue" he laughed
My hands rubbed across his shoulder as I looked slowly up.
"Do want me to kiss down there?" I whispered, my entire body becoming hot
"Riyan you don't have to do anything you don't want to"
"I'm curious. I like to see how you react" I laughed as my hand raced along his waist long - almost but not quite touching THE mark.
He bit his lip as his head dug into the pillow. I watched with intense curiosity, before dragging my tongue down his chest again. It was all really quite knew to me, but it was almost like I already knew what to do, I wondered for a minute if it was an inbuilt thing, we just have to "Unlock" the ability in each of us.

I took HIM into my hands, rubbing him gently with my thumbs. I breathed in quietly before leaning down. I kissed across him, unsure of exactly what I was doing, but doing it never the less.
"Oh god" he whimpered, causing me to laugh a little
I closed my eyes and gently flicked my tongue across his length, rubbing underneath with my hands as I went. He gasped again before flicking me over, him now on top.
"You liked that?" I grinned as he smiled above me
He kissed me on this lips, his tongue exploring my mouth with hasten force, it was different, but I liked it. His hands slid under my gown and slipped down my panties. His mouth covered my words as his left hand rubbed and touched almost every part of my body, his right hand blindly slipping on a condom I'd handed him. He slipped into me, his moth shifting to my neck. I squirmed a little, as there was still a little pain from the whole thing, it was less than before, but I knew it was worth it.

"Riyan, it's Alleah, you okay?" Alleah muttered through the door
"Uh, Yeah….I'm…….Fine……thanks" I panted
"You sound sick"
"Tired" I screamed as Brian's hand pushed hard against my bosom
"Alright, fine, whatever, I'm going to bed" she announced
Brian went further into me, my head slammed into the pillow as my mouth flew open
"GOD" I screamed before Brian covered my hand with his mouth
"What?" Alleah replied
"God, I'm tired" I managed to reply
"Good night Riyan" she huffed slamming her bedroom door.
"You're gonna have to control the voice" Brian whispered
"You're gonna have to stop making me scream' I panted
"But I like the look on your face" he laughed
I ruffled his head as he leant down to my ear.
"Can I make you scream?" he whispered
I shook my head, Alleah was only in the next bed. Without a warned his did something that sent me into overload, I tried to hold back my exclamation, but I was sure I would burst soon. I opened my mouth, only to be silence by Brian's mouth on mine.

~ THE NEXT MORNING ~
The alarm clock beside me sounded out, yanking me from my slumber, I yawned quietly and rolled over to see the other side of the bed completely empty aside from a note that was slipped under the pillow. I picked it up, unfolded it and began to read,
Dearest Riyan
Sorry I couldn't be here to see you wake up, I left early this morning, you looked so peaceful I decided not to wake you. I don't know how I'm suppose to look at you through the day and not announce my love for you, I wish we could, but I promise to always love you, and I promise that I will always be thinking of you.

Love Brian

I folded the letter back up, smiling uncontrollably, today would also be an amazing day I was sure of it.

~ LATER THAT DAY ~
Dear Diary
"I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held on to…"
I heard that song on the radio as I write this, and I think maybe it's reading my mind, I have fallen in love, I truly believe that. I know people will say that I'm too yung to know what love is, that I can't understand, that I'll know better when I'm older, but I think they're wrong, I don't need to see the wind, but I know its there, I don't need to feel love from my family, but I know it exists, I think people say you're too young because maybe those ones don't truly know what love is. But I don't care what anyone else says, I feel my heart, and I'm in love.

Brian and I have made love twice now, and even now, hours afterward, I can still feel him, not physically, but emotionally, I can feel his breath on my skin, I can taste his lips, and I crave him even more with every thought. I can't stop smiling, everything seems perfect, I just wish I could tell the world, as Brian wishes he could, but I know in my heart people wouldn't react well, the age doesn't bother me and it doesn't bother Brian, and for that reason it shouldn't bother anyone else, but unfortunately the world is full of people who will judge you in a split second, they don't know you, they've never met you, they don't understand you, but they would be quick to judge whatever decision you make, so for that reason we remain a secret.

I truly do love him, I know that.

Riyan

~ 2 DAYS LATER ~
Washington State was where the show was to be tonight, Michael wanted me to "beef up" my part, saying something along the lines of "we have to keep them guessing" I'm not really sure what he meant by that, but I nodded none the same. I was to learn a new dance routine and on top of that record two more songs for the album they were pushing for. They wanted the release date to coincide with the end of the tour, that wasn't too far away, so the challenge was made and the work was on. My eyes closed softly, desperate for another few hours of sleep. I had been up since 5 in the morning, but the night before I'd been in a studio till midnight. Five hours sleep repeatedly was beginning to take its toll.

"You okay?" Belle inquired as she wandered onto the stage of the arena
"I'm fine" I smiled, gulping down a mouthful of water, hoping it would keep me awake
"You look exhausted, maybe you should take a break" she spoke worriedly
I shook my head.
"Gotta keep going, so much to do" I winked, jumping from the stage

"Hey babe" Nick purred as he wrapped his arms around Belle's waist
"Something wrong?" he added gently kissing her neck
"I'm worried about Riyan" she sighed "Everyones pushing that poor girl too hard, she's gonna break"
"Riyan's a tough girl"
"But she's not superhuman Nick, maybe you should talk to Michael, it would be better coming from someone that's been there"
"And what do you suppose I say?"
"Just tell him he's pushing her too far, he's asking too much too quickly, and he's going to break her" Belle sighed, frustrated
"This is effecting you bad huh?"
"I don't want to see her hurt Nick, that's all"
"Alright, I'll see what I can do" he smiled

~ LATER THAT NIGHT ~
Dear Diary
Wow! What more can I say? It seems to me that the further into the tour, the more popular I've become, its really astounding the way people are reacting to me, I saw a magazine today, and I was named as the "Quickest & Hottest Rising Star This Century" can you believe it? I cant. I think I'm truly beginning to loose it, it feels like I'm in a dream a wonderful amazing dream and I never ever want to wake up. I really now believe that its very hard to stay grounded in this life, but I think I'm doing my best, but this is our little secret - I feel like I'm floating on air.

I've been approached by Tommy, Pepsi, Sears, McDonalds, and Cover Girl, who all want to sponsor me - getting the publicity as a result. I've also been approached by many different charities that want me to back them. I don't really know much about that world, so Michael along with Papa (sometimes Papa doesn't trust him) are deciding what the best option would be, I think I would like to be a Cover Girl, they always look so pretty. As for charities, I support a few back in Mexico, though America loves me, I belong there, that is my home, so I feel I owe them so much.

I feel dizzy, like my whole world is spinning and I'm riding it. I think that's a good thing.

Riyan

I put my pen and book down as someone knocked on the door. I wandered over and opened it to see Belle smiling at me.
"Come on" she exclaimed grabbing my arm
"What?" I laughed as she pulled me into the hall
"You and me are having a girls night, no argument" she announced as she closed my door and led me down the hall to her room

She opened the door and let me in.
"Where's Nick?" I inquired as she closed the door behind her
"I sent him away" she laughed "He's with the guys"
"I thought they went to a club?"
"They did, he went with them, he took Brian out, trying to get him out of the hotel, the poor guy has been locking himself away in his room like this whole tour" she explained
I smiled to myself, I knew what Brian was doing, because I was with him.
"So what are we doing?"
"Well since you cant go clubbing cause of the age thing, we're going to have a chick night, just talk, eat chocolate, watch chick flicks" she laughed
"Sounds fun" I grinned
"So, why don't you tell me what's going on" she persuaded patting the seat next to her on the couch
"Uh, what do you mean?"
Did she know about Brian and I?
"You know, stuff, How are you? How are you coping?"
I smiled stupidly - I couldn't help smiling.
"And do tell me Riyan, why are you smiling so much lately, whatever you're getting can I have some?" she laughed
Belle was a lovely girl, I knew I could trust her with anything I had to say. We hadn't known each other that long but we clicked you know? Like people that have a connection, I felt that connection with Belle……I knew I could trust her.
"Belle?"
"Uhuh?"
"You love Nick right?"
She nodded, smiling brightly.
"How did you know that you loved him?"
She sighed softly.
"I'm not sure Riyan, I think, I just knew. We met after a concert once, I was doing an article on "fan bases" for a local magazine. I'd hooked up with some diehard fans, and followed them where they went, anyway we ended up at a hotel at 2 in the morning waiting for them to come out. Anyway to cut a long story short, I remember he came out and asked what I would like signed, I explained the situation and he asked if I wanted to interview him right there on the street, afterwards I gave him my card, and the next day he called me. I think that night, our first date I knew there was something about him, something that made me feel so amazing. We just matched, we had the same sort of dreams, the same loves, but we had differences that only made us stronger"
"So there was no sign or anything?"
"Love never says 'here I am, look at me, you're in love now' its something that with time you just KNOW, it's like you wake up in the morning and that person is the first thing on your mind, and when you go to bed they're the last thing you think about, it's just something you know"
I smiled - I felt that.
"Why all the questions anyway?" she inquired popping a chip in her mouth, and looking at me intently
"I think I'm in love Belle" I whispered
She choked back a little.
"I didn't even know you've been seeing anyone" she laughed
"That's because we kept it quiet"
"A friend from Mexico?"
I shook my head.
"You met him on the tour"
I nodded.
"Is he on the tour?"
I nodded again.
"Do I know him?"
"Quite well"
"Who?"
"You cant say a word to anyone, we need it to be kept quiet"
She nodded slowly.
I took a deep breath.
"Brian"
"Brian? Littrell? Brian" she gasped in shock
The expression on her face was priceless.
"When did this all happen?" she questioned
"A while ago, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but I know and you know people wont really understand us"
"Oh god, Riyan" she sighed
"Why? What's wrong?"
"You know he was married"
"Yes, what does that matter?" I questioned defensively
"They only just dissolved the marriage, I know Brian would never intentionally hurt you, I love Brian dearly, but don't you think maybe this could be a rebound"
"No" I announced standing up
"It cant just be what it is can it? No one will ever just take it for what it is, Brian and I are in love, I'm not too young, and he isn't on the rebound" I cried, I couldn't believe she said that, or maybe I couldn't believe it could be right
"Riyan, please. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that" she smiled
"We do love each other" I sighed
"I know you would never hurt him and I know he would never hurt you, but please promise me that you'll be careful"
"I know, I will"

Chapter 13

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