Chapter Sixteen - Blood Stained Hands



Dear Diary

As of now, we are on a plane heading to New York, as tonight is the Grammy's. This will be the first award show I've actually been too, which is beyond exciting. Thankfully though I get to sit with the guys, which will help with the nerves.

It's been 4 days since they stormed that guys dorm room, as far as I'm aware they still haven't found him, but they are sure I'll be safe, and I guess I believe them, I mean they would protect me if they thought I was in danger, and I still only had one bodyguard and nothing else had changed, so I guess I felt safe, after all they wouldn't leave me like a sitting duck.

The plane will be landing soon.
Love
Riyan


~ 5 HOURS LATER ~
I sat opposite Michael and Alleah, my bodyguard next to me, as the limo drove along the crowded streets of New York. I was wearing a form fitting sparkly silver dress that had been "gifted" to me by Prada, I really wasn't sure how the whole thing like that worked, all I knew is that I had a whole heap of dresses placed in front of me and this one was the best. I wasn't up for any awards, because I was so new, but I was to present the award for the Best Record with Britney Spears, which I suppose would be interesting. I fingered through my hair, still completely annoyed that the stylist had determined I should have curly hair, didn't anyone understand I longed for STRAIGHT hair.

The limo stopped, and there was quite a noise outside, I didn't know if they knew it was me or not, I was thinking they probably think I'm someone a lot more important. Michael stepped out first after the driver opened the door, there were a few clicks of the camera as Alleah got out next, then my bodyguard and then, as instructed I came out last. Alleah desperate for some attention latched onto my arm like we were best friends, I wasn't about to make a spectacle and it was calming to have someone with me.

"Riyan, over here" a female voice inquired, I turned to have a picture taken.
Flashes were going off all around me, surprising to me they were here for me. I stopped to kindly pose for some photos, smiling brightly and thanking them all for their kindness. I could see down the red carpet into the place where the awards were been held, Brian was wandering by the door with Belle and Nick, we caught looks and smiled softly.
"Time to go" Michael whispered in my ear
I waved to the people with signs and turned to head for the door.

I heard a chorus of screams and someone yelling, I turned around to see a guy with a gun bounding over the barricades. There was a loud noise and I was down on the ground, my head to the red carpet, another shot followed and more screams.

Brian's eyes widened, as security guards rushed passed and out the door. Commotion was everywhere and he couldn't see Riyan.
"What happened?" he gasped running to the door
Belle stopped him, tugging on his arm.
"I don't know, but you can go out there" she instructed, she didn't need to see him hurt too

I was pulled up off the ground, my head spun around to see a policeman on the ground been tendered to by some other officers and in front of him, a stones throw away from me, lay a guy I'd never seen before, but I knew who he was instantly, lying in a pool of blood, a gun clutched tightly in his left hand, he wasn't moving, I was pretty sure he was dead. I was pulled away and shuffled through the entrance, shaking beyond what I could control. I wiped my face and realized it was splattered with blood, I screamed as Brian rushed to me. I didn't hurt, I was sure I hadn't cut myself, it was then I realized it wasn't MY blood.

"Riyan, it's okay" he spoke, trying to calm me down
"Get it off, get it off" I screamed rubbing my face harshly, and crying hysterically, all I could see was this blood everywhere I imagined I was covered in it and that my sparkly silver dress was now blood red. I fell down onto the floor, propping myself up against one of the walls, I'm not sure what had come over me as such, all I knew is I was petrified. I rocked back in forth, tears streaming down my face.
"Riyan, it's okay, I'm here" Brian whispered, his face covered with worry as he knelt down beside me.
I leaned over, not caring who saw and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his strong arms around me, and held me like I needed, it seemed like forever slipped by as we hugged in complete silence.
"I want to go, I want to go home" I sniffed, my whole body still shaking
"Alright, I'll take you back to the hotel" Brian smiled brushing my hair softly back
Michael nodded in agreement as the other guys, after hearing what happened, made a circle around me. I stood up, leaning against Brian for support.
"I'm coming too" Belle announced, letting go of Nick's hand
He looked at her, smiled and nodded.
I slipped quietly into the room, Belle and Brian behind me. Brian hugged me tightly as I fell onto the couch like a rag doll. I could still quite clearly see the body on the ground and feel the blood all over myself, I was sure I was over exaggerating, but that didn't really help, I could feel it, smell it, almost taste it.
"I, I need to get this off" I sniffed stumbling towards the bathroom
I had to wash the night away - it was that simple

I turned on the shower and watched mesmerized as the water belted against the back and floor of the glass incased shower. I closed the door, stripped down and stepped into the cleansing water. My back leant up against the side as I side down it, till I was sitting at the bottom, the water hammering my curled up body. I cried softly, my tears quickly vanishing into the water as I pulled my knees into my chest.

I have no idea how long I sat at the bottom, crying and biting my lip like a nervous reaction. Despite how much water 'cleaned' me, I still could feel the blood all around me and everything that came with it.

There was a quite tap on the bathroom door.
"Riyan?" Brian questioned through the door
I ignored him, too wrapped up in the water around me
He turned the handle and walked in, closing the door behind him. I was now shivering in the bottom of the shower, scared and silent. He leant in and shut off the water. I didn't flinch as he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me.
"Come on Baby" he whispered softly, pulling me up
"No, no, I have to get it off" I cried hysterically
"Ssshhh, baby it's okay" Brian cooed, laying my head on his shoulder
"I'm scared, I can feel it" I whispered, my voice quaking
"It's okay, I'm here Riyan" he spoke, stroking my head softly
He picked me up like a baby, and I humbly accepted. My head leant against the side of his shoulder, as I curled up in his arms. He carried me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom laying me gently onto the bed. I looked up at him with blank eyes and I shivered subconsciously.
"Come on, lets get you dressed" he smiled wiping my wet hair from my face
I didn't move as if I was frozen, unable to care for myself.

I held tightly onto the towel as Brian handed me my PJ's, I had managed to put on underwear but I don't think I had it in me to dress anymore. Brian removed my towel slowly, his soft arms rubbing against me, calming and protecting me. He replaced the towel with the Pajama top, then the bottoms. I looked at him fear across my face, I was scared maybe he would leave me now, and I wanted him and needed him to stay with me.
"I'm not going anywhere" he smiled, reading my mind
I fell into his arms longing, embracing his chest and burring myself in his familiar warmth.
"Could you stay with me tonight?" I whispered, not removing myself from his arms
"Of course Riyan, of course" he whispered, his voice trailing softly off at the end

Belle walked in, holding a cup in her hands. She handed it to me and smiled.
"Hot chocolate, drink it up" she smiled, almost like a caring mother, I suppose that was what she was to me, both a best friend, and the mother I lost.
I took it slowly and sipped away as I sat down at the edge of the bed.

She leant into Brian and whispered something, I didn't hear, to him. He frowned wearily and nodded.
"Riyan, I have to go somewhere, Belle will dry your hair and -"
"Will you come back?" I questioned, terrified he wouldn't
He nodded as he leant in and kissed my forehead. I knew I was so dependant on him, and I'd never really been this way before, I'm not sure how to explain it, I just needed something that made me feel safe right now, and that was Brian.

He walked out of the bedroom as Belle plugged in the hairdryer. I gave her no response as she began the task of drying my thick hair.

~ AT THE SAME TIME ~
Brian walked out into the hallway as Michael approached.
"Is she okay? I just got off the phone with her Dad, he's flying up as soon as he can and -"
"You asshole" Brian snapped, blocking him from entering the room
"Brian, I understand your upset"
"You knew about this guy, and you did NOTHING, you left her like a sitting duck"
"Its okay, we got him"
"But you might not have. Damnit Michael you are supposed to look after her, you knew this creep was hell bent on hurting her, you knew he'd disappeared but you sent her out there with one bodyguard, who wasn't even carrying a gun. Riyan could be lying there dead, and you know what, I bet the only thing you would give a damn about is where you'll get your next paycheck"
"Can I at least see her?"
"No, she doesn't need to see you right now" Brian huffed before walking back in the room and slamming the door closed

Brian wandered back into the room just as Belle was finishing. I lay down silently, curling up into the fetal position. Brian and Belle exchanged worried smiles as Brian sat on the edge of the bed beside me.
"You okay Ri?" he whispered brushing the side of my face
"Could you stay with me, please?" I questioned quietly
"Of course" he smiled as I shuffled over so he could lye down next to me
His arms incased me, and I used his arm like a pillow.
Belle walked out of the room, closing the door gently behind her.
"Brian" I whispered
"Uhuh"
"I'm scared, I keep seeing him on the ground, and I keep thinking its my fault" I cried, burring myself into his chest
"Riyan, what happened wasn't your fault, don't you ever think that"
"But he was so obsessed, I must done something to make it that way"
"You didn't do anything wrong, people do things no matter what we say or what we do, its not fair that it happened and its not your fault"
"He's dead isn't he?" I already knew the answer, I just wanted conformation
"Don't worry about that, try and get some sleep" Brian sighed softly
"Every time I close my eyes I see him"
"He's not here Riyan, he cant hurt you, I'm here and I'll be here all night" he spoke, kissing what was exposed of my forehead
I sighed contentedly as I lacked the control to keep my eyes open any longer.

~ AFTER THE AWARDS ~
"How is she?" Nick inquired as he hugged Belle softly
"She's freaked, the poor girl is so shaken up" Belle replied as she closed the door to the hotel room behind Nick
"Is Brian with her?"
"She wanted him to stay, do you think I should go back, make sure nobody starts getting things out of it"
"You mean them together?"
Belle nodded.
Nick sighed quietly, "I don't think anybody is going to add anything sexual to tonight, she just needed someone she felt comfortable with, and you and I will back that up"
"You're right" Belle smiled as she wandered into the bathroom, and began undoing her hair
"Did I tell you, you looked lovely tonight" Nick purred as he enveloped her waist
"Yeah, about 6 times, but keep it up" she laughed "What did they say at the awards?"
"They announced that something terrible had happened, but not to be alarmed because its under control now, the news will probably be blasting it now, and all of tomorrow"
"God, that's so horrible what that boy did, I'm thankful no ones ever threatened us like that" Belle smiled, she'd had a few random death threats, nothing she couldn't handle, and most people didn't know who she was as she preferred the low profile, so trouble was kept pretty minimal.

Nick delved his full lips onto her porcelain skin, making a luxurious trail up her neck.
"Nick" she laughed pushing him back, as she wandered back into the room
"Come on, you look so damn good, how can I resist?" he smirked
She unzipped her dress and let it cascade to the floor, before bending over to pick it up, Nick watched with bulging eyes - he always did. She smiled as she picked up her nightgown and carried it into the bathroom, closing and looking the door behind her.

Nick smiled to himself as he got changed and slipped into the sheets of the queen size bed. Belle emerged minutes later and slinked around to her side of the bed, slipping into the bed painfully slowly. She sighed quietly laying her head down, as Nick's hand immediately explored her body.
"I'm worried about Riyan" Belle sighed
"Mmmm" Nick muttered placing his lips on her shoulder
"She's so young and she's gone through so much, she's a lot like you Nick"
"Mm"
"Growing up in a world of fame, I'm worried she's going to collapse"
Nick's hand rubbed up Belle's thigh.
"Nick, listen to me, I'm serious" she scolded
"Sorry, what were you saying?" Nick huffed
"I'm worried about Riyan, she's gone through a lot most girls her age don't experience"
"You mean sex?"
Belle chuckled slightly.
"I mean thinking your in love and yes, having sex"
"You don't think she loves Brian?"
Belle sighed again. "I don't know, I want to believe she does, but she's the same age as I was, and you know how emotionally that kind of thing at that age screwed with me"
"But she's not you Isabelle"
"I know, I think maybe I just see my own mistakes and problems and I don't wish that on anyone"
"Brian will take care of her"
"I know that, and I know she'll take care of Brian, but nothing is ever perfect, no matter how much you want it to be"
"Including us?" Nick smirked
"Well we're pretty much perfect" she laughed
"Then my dearest Isabelle" he spoke in a pompous English accent "there is suck a thing as perfection"
"I suppose" she smiled, kissing him quickly
"Now can I get back to making you unbelievable horny" he grinned
She laughed as she jokingly slapped him on the arm.


Chapter 17

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