Chapter One: Perfection




“Hello?” Brian announced cheerfully as he answered the phone
“Brian, its Mom, something’s happened to Hannah”

Brian’s mouthed gaped a little, Hannah was his younger cousin, 19 if he wasn’t mistaken, she was also one of his best friends no matter with the age gap. He’d looked after her when she was a baby, and she was one of the only ones he actually got along with even now.
“What? What happened?” he questioned urgently
“She collapsed this morning, Elaine took her to the hospital. She’s highly underweight and dehydrated, they think she’s bulimic. No one ever knew because she always wore baggy clothes”
“Is she going to be okay?” Brian questioned
“We hope so, she’s in the hospital right now, perhaps you should come and see her”
“I’ll be on the next flight”


~ Late At Night ~

I lay alone in the bedroom I’d been given, it contained 2 beds, but only one was occupied, that been the one I was in. I’d been to some councilor today, and I spent the whole hour ignoring her, I hated this place, and no one understood that I didn’t belong here, I wasn’t supposed to be here. The place reminded me of one of those rehab clinics you get sent to for drinking and driving, like the one I’d seen in the movie with Sandra Bullock, 28 Days. The room was a light pink color, which I detested from the first second. The rules were simple, breakfast was at 8:00, you were expected to be up at that time and ready, you could have what you wanted from the menu and any who refused would go to the councilor. Because half of the girls here were dealing with drug abuse as well, no drugs were permitted, you could only receive things like headache pills from the nurse, and only in very rare circumstances, I gathered that was because a lot of the girls would try to commit suicide. You weren’t to leave the gated grounds without permission, guests were to be announced first and phone calls were kept record of. You were supposed to enroll in some of the activities, Hiking, Fishing, Biking, Sewing, Art or Cooking classes, I refused to enroll in any. They could keep me here by force, but they couldn’t make me participate. And of course there was a stock of chocolate bars hanging around to tempt whoever stumbles past them. By the bed sat a shopping list in which I was to write any of the ‘comforts’ I wanted, pity it didn’t have a space for me on double bed and better paint. I hated this place – I didn’t need to be here, why couldn’t anyone see that?


~ At The Same Time ~

“How is she?” Leah sighed worriedly down the phone
“Piper isn’t settling in very well, she wouldn’t talk with me unfortunately, and refused to enroll in some of the activities, but there is no need to worry, this is completely normal” the councilor, who preferred to be called Carmen explained kindly, she was used to distraught mothers
“I have a court order forcing her to be there, perhaps that was too harsh” Leah muttered, hoping for reassurance she’d done the right thing
“Mrs. Charmers, Piper is a lovely girl, but a very stubborn one, I believe in her interest you did the right thing, I think she’ll realize that. Tomorrow I’ll be taking her up to the hospital”
“Why? Is she okay?”
“Yes she’s fine, its just part of procedure, we’ll get her tested for dehydration, any drugs or toxins in her blood, just things like that, we also visit the wards of girls who’ve starved themselves so bad they are barely alive, sometimes that’s the wake up call a girl like Piper needs”
“What do I tell her school principal, she’s the head cheerleader and one of the popular girls at school, I'm not sure what to do”
“I suggest talking to the principal and the councilor at the same time, and tell them the truth, they may be able to offer some assistance, they see this more frequently than you might think”
“Well thank you for your time, and for well, helping her”
“I just hope we can Mrs. Charmers”


~ The Next Day ~

I was mid 17, and stuck in the back of a 12 seater van with some shaking redhead with a cigarette permanently in her fingers, a brunette who sat curled up in one of the front seats, a small blond, no older than 12, who chewed on her fingernail the whole way, the councilor who kept looking back at me, and another older lady with thinning white hair. I sunk down further into the seat and slipped on my glasses and prayed like hell god would take me from this place.

We stopped outside the main hospital in Lexington, and piled out slowly. I stepped out last and strolled along behind. The brunette kept looking back at me, with what seemed like a curious expression, I starred back at her, silently telling her to mind her own business. I had managed to sneak my cell phone into the clinic with me, and last night before falling asleep I rung the only person I knew would help me out of this place – Carl. He said he’d heard that I was sick, but he didn’t know why, and claimed I looked fine, or rather “hot” to him. He promised to drive around, at midnight tonight and meet me outside the gate, I would be gone in the morning, and I wouldn’t look back. They would call Mom but she would be at work, which would give me about an hour to shoot home grab whatever I needed, then leave. I had it all planned out, Carl said I could stay in the pool house for as long as needed, his parents were rarely there and even if they were, they wouldn’t notice, all I had to do was ride it out until I figured something else out.

The hospital halls were a mix smell of cleaning solution and an almost bleach kind of scent. I hated hospital more than most things, I preferred never to set foot in one unless I was dying, unfortunately this was yet another of my wishes that didn’t matter to anyone else.

Apparently we were hear for regular checkups so the staff at the clinic knew what we were doing here, but as we passed room by room, slow enough to see people in them, it was obvious they had other motives – it was called scare tactics, but it wasn’t going to work on me, because I didn’t have a problem.

“Do you take any medications?” the middle aged nurse with thick braided hair inquired as we sat alone in this room
“No, aside from the pill” I muttered, annoyed simply with her presence
“Smoke?”
I shook my head.
“Take drugs?”
“I'm not some sort of pot head if that’s what your asking, I don’t sniff glue and I don’t inject myself with heroin, I'm not a junkie and I don’t need this” I announced, folding my arms
“Could you step onto the scales please?” she inquired, ignoring my pervious announcement as though she hadn’t even heard
“No” I spoke calmly shaking my head
“Miss” she looked down at her chart “Charmers, please don’t make my job more difficult, I know how hard it can be for people –“
“People like me? Is that what you were going for? Newsflash nurse Betty, I am not a mental, I don’t have a eating disorder and I don’t need this crap from you” I screamed, bolting upright as tears sprung to my eyes
“Piper” Carmen spoke calmly as she stepped into the room, in time to hear my speech “You need to cooperate with the nurse, she’s only doing her job, which is trying to help you”
“God, do none of you people get it?” I screamed, aware the other girls had congregated outside the door “I am not sick, I am not some kind of nutcase starved for attention who needs to be treated, I don’t have an eating disorder, I'm skinny, big deal? I'm fit, big deal, I am not sick, cant you get that through your brains? I don’t need to be here, I am not some head case you need to treat carefully and tempt with all that chocolate, I'm not some dumb girl starving for attention. I am Piper Charmers, head cheerleader, straight A student and not Anorexic” I screamed, breaking down into tears near the end “I don’t need you, and I don’t need this place”
“Who are you trying to fool? Us, or yourself?”
“Cut the councilor crap, I don’t need it” I huffed pushing past Carmen and the others that had seen my display

Carmen breathed in deeply.
“We’ll have to get her a roommate, you think she’s a runner don’t you?” the other coordinator at the clinic spoke under hushed tone to Carmen
“I think she’s a runner for sure, I also think she’s in trouble” Carmen sighed, she’d seen girls like this many times before, but it never ceased to amaze her just how blinded they were
“Hannah is in again” the nurse, who’d heard the conversation spoke up
“She collapsed, poor girl, she was doing so well, she tries so hard, but its almost like it owns her”
Carmen sighed softly. She knew Hannah quite well, she’s been into the clinic almost a year ago, everyone really thought she would be okay, and she was, until now. Now the problem had latched on again, and, if she was in the hospital, it had gotten worse.

“Will she be returning?” Carmen inquired
“Should think so, went to her mother, said she needed help, then collapsed. Her mother doesn’t want to see it, but Hannah knows, always strange to see it the other way round isn’t it”
Carmen turned to the other lady.
“I want Hannah roomed with Piper”
“Is that wise, Hannah’s a quite girl, very shy, Pipers, well, you saw”
“Hannah is smart, she knows she has a problem, maybe Piper will see the same in her, opposites attract sometimes, I want the two roomed together, I better go find Piper”

“You want a smoke?” the red head questioned, she must have followed me to one of the decks “If you smoke lots you loose weight, you know”
I looked at her I utter disbelief, how could she be so stupid.
“Killing brain cells along the way” I mocked
“You know you’re one of them” she huffed
“One of who?” I snapped, spinning around to face her
“One of the ones that thinks everything’s okay, that you’re fine, that you only run 10 miles a day to keep fit, and tries to convince yourself that you aren’t hungry, you’re in denial”
“You” I paused “Know nothing about me”
“Head cheerleader, most popular girl in school, I get the picture Piper, but you’re not perfect, so maybe you should stop trying to be”
I turned around to retort, but she’d gone.





“Hey Hannah” Brian smiled as he sat down on the side of the bed
Her tiny body was covered by a thin blanket, her arms and head the only parts protruding. Her arm looked like a thin bone covered only by a thin layer of gaunt white flesh, with a IV stuck on the top of her palm. Her hair was limp around her face, her eyes sunken and sad, her smile – vanished.
A tear slid down her face as she only imagined what he must be thinking.
“I'm sick Brian, Momma wont believe me, but I am” she whispered, her voice barely heard
“I know Hannah, but you’ll pull through, you’ll get better” Brian replied, totally unsure how to deal with the situation
“Momma says that I just need a holiday, but I need to go back to the clinic, I need help, she pulled me out to early Bri, I don’t want to die”
He touched the side of her face gently.
“You’ll get the best help Hannah, I promise you”





Perfect is what perfect does…I'm not sure where I heard that, but its true don’t you think? That girl (I still don’t know her name) said that I wasn’t perfect, and maybe she’s right, but that doesn’t mean I should wallow in self pity because I'm not PERFECT, that doesn’t mean I should be thinking I'm wrong, or I'm sick, or whatever else these stupid people want me to say. I do not have an eating disorder, I'm not one of them, I simply just care about the way I look, I don’t want to be held up on a couch eating potato chips and wondering which roll of fat I lost the remote in – I'm not one of them, I don’t need to be here.




Chapter Two
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