~ Easter 2000 ~
Since Bear-Bear was put up, we get numerous vehicles driving through our yard so people can look at Stephen's newest creation.
The color of the lights didn't turn out very good with the camera.
~ Winter 2001 ~
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| Christmas continued.. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I think my husband, Stephen, is the most talented man I know. The ideas and inventions he comes up with is amazing, but what he did for Noah's first Christmas in Heaven was breath taking. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Noah loved his Bear-Bear more than any other toy or stuffed animal. Bear-Bear came to Noah on his first Easter from the Easter Bunny. You would never even try to separate the two of them. As long as Noah had his Bear-Bear, he was fine and ready to tackle the world. Bear-Bear's head and feet are well worn. Noah would pick off the fuzz from Bear-Bear, either with his fingers or his teeth (as there was evidence in the diapers). But it didn't matter what Bear-Bear looked like. As long as he was in Noah's arms, Noah was quite content. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Noah & Bear-Bear ~ Easter 2000 ~ |
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| Stephen wanted to make something for Noah and the first thing that came to mind was Bear-Bear. A duplicate Bear made of steel and chicken wire, draped in color coordinating lights. I asked Stephen how big he was going to make it. Nonchalently, Stephen said, oh, I was thinking about 6 feet tall. I thought that sounded good. Well, after the first day of working on his masterpiece, Stephen came home and told me that it was going to be a bit bigger than he planned. I asked him how much bigger - his reply - about 10 feet. It didn't surprise me at all. I always expect bigger than smaller. After three days of working on Bear-Bear, and a day spent driving around looking for the right color of lights, Stephen brought him home. It took two of them to put Bear-Bear up (propped against and tied to a couple of trees) and a very long extension cord. After all was said and done, Bear-Bear wasn't 6 feet, he wasn't even 10 feet. Bear-Bear ended up being 16 feet tall. Yep, starting from 6 and ending at 16 feet. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| But, boy, oh boy, is it beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I know Noah was smiling down from Heaven and thinking how wonderful his daddy is. How talented his daddy is and how much daddy loves him and misses him. Our Noah is so extremely proud of da-da ~ and so are we. Since Bear-Bear was put up, we get numerous vehicles driving through our yard so people can look at Stephen's newest creation. The color of the lights didn't turn out very good with the camera. |
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| Mikhayla and Brody standing in front of Bear-Bear. ~ Winter 2001 ~ |
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| The first Christmas without Noah was very difficult. Very heart wrenching and edgy. I don't think that I would have made it through if I didn't receive that poem, write out the cards, or see Stephen's 16 foot replica of Bear-Bear. Well, I guess I would have made it, but I probably would have been miserable. My other kids were able to enjoy their Christmas, although they still missed their brother. I am not telling you that you should do what we did, but this is what helped me through my first holiday without my son. There are so many different ideas and suggestions that may help you. I think that the first thing you should do, is to NOT over do it. Take your time to grieve and remember your child. Do what you feel is good for you. If you don't want to go to the family dinner, don't go. If you don't want to send cards, don't. No one is going to think any less of you for not doing that. And no matter what other people say, DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. Take your time and take it easy. Dont' make plans and don't do what people think you should do. They are not feeling the way you do, you need to validate your feelings and take time for you. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| For our second Christmas without Noah, we added some things. Instead of receiving presents, we asked that people buy a toy and we donated it to the Christmas Cheer Board (a non-profit organization who helps those in need), we bought toys, also. We got a 3 foot potted tree from our aunt and placed it at Noah's grave site and decorated it with bird-friendly ornaments. We strung popcorn and made homemade bird suet and shaped them in balls. We still have Bear-Bear lit up and we still have our poem and candles, but we added these other things in Noah's memory. I can't tell you what we will be doing for our third Christmas without Noah, but whatever we do, it will be to the benefit for someone else in keeping Noah's spirit and memory alive. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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