I had an idea at 4am last night. I want to go to San Diego for New Years next year. Maybe with the original San Diego trip people. It would be greatly fun. But expensive. But I think I want to go to California one of these days anyways. Mostly to see Shawn, but oh well. 

January 21, 1999:

So, it seems that more people than I realized are reading this. It seems that many people from the WF group or parts therein read me, and were very amused by my retorts about a certain incident, which I no longer wish to remember, for the person involved brings nothing but stress into my life, and I don't think I want him involved in my life any more than necessary. And also there was the unfortunate incident where my sister went to my page...you can imagine what she said to me... So, that was interesting. But ah well. I'm gonna be making cookies one of these days. To send to my sweetheart. Poor boy eating military food.

January 20, 1999:

Well, I got another call from Shawn today. He got his wisdom teeth taken out today. And he's on bed-rest. And here I am, remembering when I got mine surgically removed, and I went and played oboe the next day......am I more tolerant to pain, or is he a wuss??? Or is it just that the military is nice? hmmmmmmm.............

January 19, 1999:

Kay put a funny-ass quote on her page from Chad from Saturday. She is now one of my heros. Well, kinda. Quasi-hero? I am now bawking along with my sister's class guitar cd, while she is playing cheezy beginning songs. The Jewish ones are fun. I like Shalom Chavarim. And Hava Nagila, or as we sang at MCAE Adva Nagila (there was a girl named Adva...) And I forgot to mention before...I'M HAPPY!!! Vikings lost. That means no more hype!!! Now just for the impeachment trial to be over... Most of the American people are happy with Clinton.... The Sentate and House is supposed to do what the people want... What's wrong with this picture.......????? GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

January 18, 1999:

I was just watching a biography thingy of Gypsy Rose Lee. It was interesting. Maybe I should become a stripper. Maybe not. I think I'm severely deficient in the chest area. Ah well. Oh, and I refuse to be called a "self-actualizing juggernaut" anymore. The original Juggernaut is diety related with the Hindu Siva (god of destruction) and is a hideous statue of a face on a cart and during the festival of Juggernaut, many worshipers cast themselves down under the cart, killing themselves. Although that is not what they meant by calling me a juggernaut, I don't think I can take it as a compliment, now that I know what it REALLY means.

January 17, 1999:

Went out with the harem last night. We went to Arbys, then to Docs and shot pool while peoples played annoying country music on the jukebox. And then we went to Bakers Square and had pie. Then I went home and did e-mail then tried sleeping but this one muscle or tendon in my back hurt really bad so it took forever for me to get to sleep. And then this afternoon, Shawn called. Yay. He got his first ribbon. And he shares his views on cat control with me....kitty in the microwave... We talked until his phone card ran out. Oh, and just having read Ryan Hale's page...sorry, but I have no longer my response to his letter, so all I have is my copy of his e-mail, and I kinda want to forget that he exists, and that is why I removed it.

January 15, 1999:

Not much new, once again. I was earlier practicing dance, since I want to get good so I can get into dances this semester. My back hurts. OOOOWWWWWowowowowwwwww...... Ok, today I got asked by Shawn... "If I told you the sky was green, what would you say?" He's done this before. Some sort of personality type test. GRRRRRR! And I guess he sent a letter with a song and 10 questions... which I have not gotten yet....

January 14, 1999:

As you might notice, I've gotten rid of some stuff here. If you come across a broken link, I've deleted that page.

January 13, 1999:

Today I... A. Got more drugs B. Got my permit renewed. C. Found out me and Shawn both had pound puppies as kids. D. Played Mah Jong on Yahoo, and WON!!! E. ummm....I dunno.....got annoyed with people?? So, its been a fairly good day. Especially considering I slept only from 6am-11am. But I am really tired so me go to bed. G'night.

January 12, 1999:

I have accomplished more now. That night I stayed up all night and I finished one composition and worked on another. And yesterday I watched Ally McBeal which is always good. And today I got an e-mail from Shawn, and I got Luke to sleep which was pretty good, since he rarely cuddles with me, and he was really tired and onrey.

January 10, 1999:

I have done nothing today. Oh well. And its still Christmas break, so oh well. I care not.

January 9, 1999:

"Shakespeare in Love" is a really good movie. Cute guys in Elizabethan costume. And Queen Elizabeth was a pretty awesome character in herself. And some great sex scenes. Oh, and there's "strip-o-grams" on the internet...but its not very free. damn. But me and Beht had a great time looking at the male ones. oh yeah....male porn....

January 8, 1999, 3:18AM:

Ok, I know everyone on the planet now hates me, so feel free to send me appropriate hate mail and such. Just understand, I'm not the most mentally stable right now and I just am trying to do what's best and to protect the ones I love.

January 7, 1999:

Well, Luke was up periodically until around 6am. That means I did not sleep until 6am. Hence I am really tired. And yes, I'm still in a pretty bad mood. It just seems like the whole freaking world is against me. And its not a nice feeling. I finished this book I've been reading last night. It ends with the main character killing herself. Nice. Happy. Oh yeah. With a drug overdose. Yummy. And I STILL haven't heard from Shawn. And I watched ER just now and they had a private in the army getting killed. Oh yay. But tomorrow is Friday. As if that really means anything to me. Considering my life is going NOWHERE because I still have a little under 20 days until I go back to UWEC. Fun.

January 6, 1999:

Well, the darling little Luke is sick. Really sick. The only good thing about it is that he's a cuddle bunny when he's sick. But not good that he is sick. Bad. Evil. Other than that, I had a little mental breakdown yesterday. Not much fun, but not that different for me. I ended up making a film box into confetti, and tearing up an old advent calender into small pieces. I have this thing for tearing up cardboard. So now I have lots of little cardboard pieces. I started to have another one today but decided to play with my pastels instead and made some pretty pictures. Kinda sad, but pretty pictures.

January 5, 1999:

"You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right." as said by Richard Fish on Ally McBeal.

January 4, 1999:

"Que Sera Sera....whatever will be, will be" That's how I feel right now. I watched the first episode of Ally McBeal tonight. It was great. Got me into a sentimental mood though. That and not hearing from Shawn. I wrote him a letter last night, so as soon as he gets it he should be calling me since I gave him phone cards and other ways to call me. But it still makes me sad. And makes me remember what happened with him. I mean, what is worse than someone cheating on you with a close friend. I understand it now which helps alot. And I know that he did care about me, and still does. But it doesn't help my meloncholy mood. Great...and what comes on the radio but "Angel" by Sarah McLauchlan, which reminds me of the movie "City of Angels" which is beautiful, but sad. And it is a very touching scene when they play the song. Makes me want to touch him...hold him... and NO, this doesn't make me dependant on men, it just means that sometimes I miss having one. and not just any guy.... I wish everyone could see how wonderful Shawn is.... like the last time we talked, he had just watched "The Princess Bride" which is one of my favorite movies, and I didn't even know that he liked it, and the hero...Will?...reminds me of him, especially in the beginning where all he says is "As you wish" since he used to ask me what I wished for. And I HATE the implications of war with Iraq because I don't want him to be sent over there. What a foolish, foolish girl I am. To fall in love....

January 3, 1999:

I played with my pastels today. It was fun. I got horribly dirty. Hehe...as if my mind is not already that way. I should get some oil paints like laura...get REALLY dirty. Oh, and me and my sister got thrown down the stairs.... by a 1 year old..... unfortunately, or is that fortunately...it was only our pictures. School starts tomorrow for U of M people....BWAAHAAHAAA!!!!! My school doesn't start for another...oh 22 days. Now all you people can kick my ass. BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!!!

January 2, 1999:

Today has been one hell of a day. Got my grades.....oh dear. Lets just leave it at that.

January 1, 1999:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Oh Yeah Baby! 1999!!! One year till the big one!!! Just went to the Borcherts for the WF peoples party. Got the advance release of "Up Up Up Up Up Up Up" by Ani from Matt. THANKS!! It is so awesome. I'll just be listening to it for a while. But it is AWESOME!!!!!! Ani is one of the few that gives me goosebumps when I listen to her. But anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! and cross your fingers for me 'cause I hope to hear from Shawn soon and such.