Welcome to the edge of boredom

Tired of those ritzy Starbucks with their over-priced dog piss coffee? Welcome to a new low in the caffeine industry, the Nil-Life Cafe...

The menu has two items: coffee and cold coffee. You want flavor? Use the older sugar...

There is no fancy eclectic decor here... everything was either bought from the salvation army, of stolen out of dumpsters... Of course we've managed to sanitize most of the chairs and tables. But just between you and me, i'd watch out for the green wingback. Last person who sat in it caught some weird form of gangrene... Poor guy. Seems to get around okay with only one foot...

We also offer a wide array of condiments:


An italian oddity made to confuse silly americans; apparently stale bread with the odd hard bit mixed in. At least that's what we do.

Bite size candies

Left over from the Halloween hoard. You wouldn't believe how much one kid can carry in one of those pumpkins!

Chocolate covered spoons

The concept of this eludes us, but hey, what the hell. Whatever makes a buck, right?

Home-made chocolates

Ever seen Monty Python's sketch called "Crunchy Frog?" It's hilarious.


Now, on Thursdays we have a special... that's when we clean out the filter in the coffee machine.

Currently we're debating adding a new item... espresso. Mind you, we have little to no idea what this crap is, or why we should charge twice as much for a cup of coffee half the size. From its taste we figured we'd just boil down a pot to about a mug, and that'd be good. New machine, bah... we got ingenuity! However, you do have to order a few hours in advance.

And then we have the magazine rack...

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