The Bold and the Bishoujo
by Morgan Jenkins and Heather GoughErm...this is another hyper weird thing written over Messenger because Cele was immensely bored and trying to stall from doing a science project. ^_^() Advance warnings: large amounts of offscreen ecchiness and a few people I don't know if you'll know.
Misc. Characters:
Usachan: *Cele huggles Usa* She's her lemon outlet and slightly obsessed with
pantsu (tight pants),
Nao, Hikari and Sayuri. Nao: plays Uranus in the Myus. Yuhka: plays Neptune in the Myus. Hikari: plays Taiki, Hawk's Eye, Roof Mellow and Bloody Dracul Vampire in the Myus. Probably more char.'s too.
Magenta: A charcter in the play The Rocky Horror Show and the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I really suggest checking them out.
Riffraff: Magenta's brother/lover.
On with the fic!
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Morgan: I'd like to see Eudial and Haruka play bumper cars sometime.
Haruka: *twitch* You...*twitch* killed...*twitch* Michiru! *drives maniacally toward a frightened Eudial*
Eudial: *goes insane and drives the bumper car every which way screaming incoherently about snails.*
Haruka: *pursues Eudial, madly yelling "MICHIRU! AVENGE MICHIRU!*
Michiru: *laughs while watching*
Minako: *tapes the whole thing*
Mimete: *pours floor wax around the bumpercars*
Haruka: *car slips and slides* KILL! EUDIAL! KILL! EUDIAL! KILL! EUDIAL! KILL! EUDIAL! KILL! EUDIAL!
Michiru: *dryly* You're getting a bit repetitive, dear.
Eudial: *sees the trails of floor wax* NO! THE SNAILS HAVE BEEN HERE!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGG!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!
Mimete: It's so fun to torture her. *giggle* EUDIAL-SEMPAI! *holds up a snail*
Eudial: THEY'RE INVADING! THEY'LL EAT US ALL FOR BREAKFAST!
Haruka: *puzzled* Snails? What's wrong with snails?
Michiru: I don't know. Just keep avenging my death, sweetie.
Haruka: All right. *narrows eyes and roars off after Eudial*
Eudial: BURN THE SNAILS! BURN THEM ALL!!!!!!!
Haruka: I'LL BURN SOMETHING BUT IT WON'T BE SNAILS!
Rei: *shrugs and henshins*
Michiru: *sigh* *watches in interest*
Rei: *aims at snail* Fire......
Eudial: *bloodshot eyes* yes...yes...yes...
Haruka: *rear-ends Eudial's bumper car*
Eudial: I'll get you for that! *turns around and bumps Haruka's car* YOU'RE ONE OF THEM, AREN'T YOU?
Rei: SOUL!
Haruka: What, a snail?
Snail: *becomes a french delicacy*
Rei: *smile* All better now. *sets table* Anyone up for dinner?
Eudial: YES! YOU ARE! KILL THE SNAILS!!!!!
Haruka: I'm not a snail...
Minako: *looks at dinner* ewwwwwwwww
Michiru: *purses lips* You didn't cook them properly. *explains to Rei how escargot are cooked*
Makoto: *joins in*
Rei: Ehhh...*sweatdrops* I'm a pyro, not a cook...
Eudial: Pyros of the world, UNITE AGAINST THE SNAILS!!!!!!!
Haruka: *whimper* But I'm not a snail...
Eudial: Yes you are! You're one of them in disguise! THE SNAILS ARE INVADING!!!!!!!!
Haruka: *shakes head* No I'm not...Michiru, make her go away!
Michiru: Talk to the authors. I could kill her, but unless they agree, they'll just bring her back.
Cele: *giggles happily in agreement with Michiru*
Mimete: *throws escargot at Eudial*
Eudial: *screams* NO! NONONONONONO! NOOOOOOO!
Morgan: *giggles insanly*
Cele & Morgan: *giggle and plot*
Everyone else: *looks nervous*
Eudial: THEY'RE SNAILS, TOO!
Mimete: *runs around hurling escargot in Eudial's direction*
Eudial: HELP! THEY'RE ATTACKING ME!!!!!!!
Mimete: *giggles* The snails! The snails! *inflates huge balloon shaped like a snail*
Haruka: I am SO not a snail. *bumps Eudial*
Eudial: YES YOU ARE YOU ALL ARE! *tries to bump everyone*
Michiru: *eeck* *runs over to Haruka's car, jumps in* Safe.
Morgan: this is getting boring. Let's liven things up. *sprinkles powder over Mimete*
Mimete: *glomps Eudial*
Eudial: *goes nuts* SNAAAAAAIL! *crashes* GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!
Mimete: *makes smoochy noises*
Eudial: EEK!!!!!!!
Haruka: *sweatdrops*
Eudial: THE SNAIL IS TRYING TO SUCK MY BREATH OUT!!!! HELP!!!!!!!
Mimete: *more smoochy noises*
Morgan: *sprinkles more dust on Mimete*
Mimete: *eyes glow* *tries to undress Eudial*
Eudial: *shriek*
Cele: *grabs the dust from Morgan and pours the whole bag on Mimete*
Mimete: *pursues a fleeing Eudial* I LOOOOVE YOOOOU!
Eudial: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mimete: COOOOOOOME BAAAAAACK!
Minako: Do you have anymore of that stuff????
Cele: *hands bag to Mina-P*
Eudial: (from off screen) Help! It's trying to taste me!
Rei: I don't even want to know.
Marta: *wrinkles nose* EEEEEEW ECCHINESS!
Usa-chan: *bounces in with Nao pantsu*
Usagi: I don't get it.
Ami: *not looking up from reading* No-one does.
Michiru and Haruka: *smirk*
Hotaru: *tugs on haruka's shirt* Haruka-papa, why are you smirking?
Setsuna: *muttering* Do we even want to know?
Mimete: *from off scren* But I love you! I always have
Eudial: *from offscreen* Yeah, that's why you killed me!
Mimete: Umm, ..... I'm sorry?
Minako: *pours dust all over Usagi and Makoto*
Mako: *eyes light up* *pulls Usagi into arms* I love you!
Usagi: *squirms away and kisses Ami* I love YOU!
Minako: *wails* It didn't work right!!!
Eudial: Sorry? Is that all?
Mimete: I'll make it up to you!
Usagi: *looks around* As a matter of fact, I love you all! *runs over and kisses all the senshi*
Eudial: No way, you SNAIL!
Mimete: *pout* *sniff* But---but---
Hotaru: *squirms away* Eewww! You're way too old!
Usagi: *jumps onto Haruka's lap*
Haruka: o.O *starts to kiss back, but backs off when Michiru glares *small voice* sorry.
Mimete: I love you, and I'll do anything to make you happy!!!
Eudial: Does that include going away?
Mimete; I'll never ever leave you!
Eudial: Damn. Are you sure you can't just go glomp Viluy or something?
Mimete: I could never love another.
Eudial: Someone get this snail off of me!!!!!!!!
Cele: *exasperated, pours dust on Eudial*
Haruka: Off...of...you?
Eudial: *eyes glow* *tries to undress Rei*
Mimete: *wails*
Rei: *smile* Pyros think alike.
*they run off together, leaving Mimete behind crying*
Michiru: *raises eyebrow, turns around and smooches Haruka*
Morgan: I guess they don't need any powder.
Cele: Nope...never did...
Haruka: Mmph! *kisses michiru*
Hotaru: Setsuna-mama, why are they always doing this?
Setsuna: Too many hormones, I think.
Hotaru: What's a hormones?
Usagi: *smooches Setsuna* *runs off to smooch everyone else*
Setsuna: Damn. Wrong royal.
Hotaru: *tugs on Setsuna's skirt* Setsuna-mama, what's going on? I'm confused.
Usagi: *smooches the Starlights*
Seiya: *kisses back,and drags Usagi off screen*
*Endymion is shoved into the scene*
Endy: Whaa? Where?
Yaten: Ecccch! *glares after Seiya and Usagi*
Morgan: *sprinkles dust on Endimon*
Endy: *smooches Helios*
ChibiUsa: *wails*
Setsuna: *sulks*
Hotaru: Setsuna-mama? Setsuna-mama? Hello?
Cele: *drags Nao in, kicking and screaming*
Setsuna: I'm okay, Hotaru-chan.
Hotaru: *hugs Setsuna's legs* Good.
Cele: *sprinkles dust allover Nao*
Nao: *runs off and yanks Michiru off Haruka* *smooches Michiru*
Haruka: Space sword..........
Nao: Space Sword......
Haruka: BLASTER!!!!!
Nao: BLASTER!!!!! *dodges Haruka's attack* Heh. You don't really expect to beat me, do you? I can do anything you can.
Michiru: (dazed) uh-huh
Haruka: He?! Michiru!?
Nao: *smirks* Seems like I'm the better kisser.
Michiru: (dazed) No, exactly the same. *grins, and tries to drag both Nao and Haruka off screen*
Haruka: I am NOT having a threesome.
Michiru: *pout*
Nao: All right then. It'll just be me and Michiru!
Haruka: *possessively* MINE!
Nao: I play you! So she's mine too!
*Yuhka wanders in*
Nao: *ogles Yuhka*
Yuhka *kisses Haruka*
Nao: *glares at Yuhka* *smooches Michiru for revenge* *Haruka drags Yuhka offscreen, and Nao drags Michiru off screen*
Cele: *stomps foot* That dust was to get her to smooch ME!
Nao: *shrugs, and drags Cele along*
Cele: *happily obliges*
Senshi: *stare after Nao-tachi, sweatdrop*
Hotaru: Setsuna-mama, where were they all going?
Setsuna: Er--nowhere.
Morgan: *sprinkles dust on Yaten*
Yaten: *eyes go weird* *smooches Morgan*
Morgan: *throws him off* I HAVE a boyfriend. *smooches Wouter*
Yaten: *runs after Morgan* But I love you!
Morgan: *throws a different powder on him*
Yaten: What am I saying? I love...... Seiya!
Minako: Baka. Seiya's offscreen having sex with Usagi.
Ami: *blush* Don't say words like *whisper* sex! It's bad!
Yaten: grumbles*
*weird noises from offscreen*
Minako: Why?
Ami: *jabs finger at Hotaru* She's here!
Morgan: *sprinkles dust all over Ami*
Ami: *eyes go weird* *smooches Minako* SEX!
Minako: O_O
Ami: *mad laughter* sex sex sex sex sex
Hotaru: *confused* Setsuna-mama? What's wrong with Ami?
Setsuna: I don't know.
Hotaru: Oh. *looks very confused*
Yaten: *goes after Seiya*
Taiki: *runs off crying*
Usagi: *from offscreen* HEY! We were busy!
Yaten: I saw. *henshins*
Seiya: Um, what are you doing?
Healer: Getting rid of her.
Seiya: No!
Usagi: EEECK! Help!
Seiya: Why are you trying to kill her?
Healer: Because I love you and want to save you from the clutches of that blonde-haired monster!
Usagi: Excuse me?
Healer: *over-sweetly* I said, blonde-haired monster.
Seiya: I-I, .......
Usagi: *glares* Eternal Moon, Make-up!
Healer: Star Sensitive Inferno!
Moon: Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss! *gets hit by Healer's attack* AAAAAA!
Healer: *giggles and attacks again*
Moon: NOOO!!!!!! *falls to the ground*
Seiya: *confused*
Healer: *giggles insanely and smooches Seiya*
Seiya: *looks back and forth between Moon and Healer*
Moon: *sniffsniff*
Seiya: I don't know what to do!!!
Healer: *seductively* You want to come over here for a minute?
Seiya: *walks towards Healer as if hypnotized*
Healer: *smiles and bats eyelashes*
Moon: *sulks*
Seiya: I love your fuku, Healer.
Healer: Thank you. *Michiru-style* Help me undress?
Seiya: okay. *takes Healer off screen*
Moon: *wails*
Yaten: *rolls eyes* If you're going to be like THAT about it, you can join
us.
Seiya: *very happy*
Moon: *bounces offscreen with them*
*the three make very ecchi noises from off screen*
Marta: EEEEEEWWWWWWWW
Usa-chan: *runs around with pantsu*
Marta: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!
*Michiru, Nao, and Cele come back onscreen*
*Haruka and Yuhka come back onscren as well*
Michiru and Cele: *dazed*
Yuhka: *hangs off of Haruka*
Cele and Michiru: *hang off of Nao*
Usa-chan: *runs over and glomps Nao*
Nao: *takes her off screen*
Cele: HEY! NO FAIR!
Usa-chan: Bleee! *happily runs off with Nao*
Nao: *takes Cele off screen again, too*
Cele: *runs off*
Yuhka: *sigh* It's always like this... *drags Haruka off screen again*
Michiru: *torn on who to follow*
Hikari: *wanders in* What have I missed so far?
Michiru: You missed a few threesomes and Nao being a slut. Why?
Hikari: No reason. *sees Mimete crying*
Mimete: *sniffsniff* *wah*
Hikari: What's wrong?
Mimete: My love ran off with Reeeeeeeiiiiiii! *wah*
Hikari: Rei? Don't worry about it. You're much better than her.
Mimete: *snif* Thanks.
Hikari: *sees Taiki cryng* And his problem?
Morgan: He's in love with Yaten, who's having a threesome with Seiya and Usagi.
Hikari: I played him, and I was never informed of this? That's kinda
weird...*tries to comfort Taiki*
Taiki: *hugs her*
Hikari: Right. *awkwardly hugs Taiki*
*Healer, Fighter, and Moon Rush in*
All three: We're pregnant!
Senshi: o.O
Moon: Healer's having Seiya's, Fighter's having Yaten's, and I'm unsure who's I'm having.
Mamoru: Usako?!?! *faints*
Fighter: I think it's mine...
Healer: No, It's mine.
Taiki: *wails*
Hikari: Ehhh...right.
Morgan: Odd, isn't it?
Hotaru: *confused*
Hikari: *puzzled* *tries to figure things out*
Taiki: *keeps wailing.*
Setsuna: *hits on Taiki for no reason*
Taiki: I only love Yaten!
Healer: O_o
Kakyuu: *stomps in* Then last night meant nothing?
Minako: *grabs a bucket of popcorn* This is better than soaps!
Makoto: I know...
*Minako and Makoto happily munch popcorn while watching all of this*
Kakyuu: Well? I'm waiting for an answer!
Taiki:...um...I was drunk?
Healer: (sarcastic) Yeah, good excuse.
Kakyuu: WHAT?! You...you...you...grrr..... Starlight Royal Straight Flush!!!!!!
Taiki: YATEN! SAVE ME!
Healer: You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out of it. Besides, I'm expecting.
Moon: Me too!
Fighter: Me three!
Kakyuu: Me four, and now you tell me you were DRUNK?! Kinmoku Tempest Fusion!!!!!
Taiki: I got you pregnant?!
Hikari: *to Minako* You were right. This IS better than a soap.
Kakyuu: nah, I conceived on my own. Of course you did!
Minako: uh-huh! have some popcorn.
Taiki: *dances* I'm gonna be a daddy!--erm, mommy--What *will* I be, anyway?
Kakyuu: *glares* The father, you idiot.
Taiki: Oh, yeah!
Hikari: *rolls eyes* Duh.
Makoto: poor kid. The child of a total baka.
Taiki: Is it a boy or girl?
Minako: *eats popcorn* Yeah.
Kakyuu: girl
Taiki: I've always wanted a daughter...
Ami: This must be the first time the sex of a baby was figured out before the sex of its father...
Taiki: *glare* I resent that!
Morgan: Resent or resemble?
Taiki: I hate you!
Morgan: ^_^
Usa-chan: *wobbles in from offscreen*
Cele: *exhaustedly follows*
Nao: *walks in, grinning* Where's Yuhka?
Michiru: *fuming* still with Haruka.
Hikari: *smile* I'm sure they're having lots of fun.
Michiru: *glares at Hikari* You're not helping.
Cele: Well, you *did* cheat on her, too.
Michiru: And you, shut up.
Morgan: Feeling guilty?
Michiru: Of course not.
Morgan: Then why are you telling Cele to shut up for mentioning it?
Michiru: No reason.
(note from Morgan: I wrote an alternate ending to this fic, located here. I was on a Rocky Horror high when I wrote it, and I think it shows.)
Haruka: *walks in, pouting* Yuhka and I didn't even do anything. We just tried to make it look like we were to make you and Nao jealous.
Yuhka: *cries* We thought you'd follow us and apologize.
Michiru: *sniff* Really?
Nao: *hugs Yuhka* I'm sorry.
Yuhka: *sniff* You're forgiven. Just please never do it again.
Nao: Er...
Hikari: *laughs*
Haruka: *hugs Michiru* Please don't ever do that again. It broke my heart.
Michiru: *sniff* Really?
Haruka: Yes, it did. I love you.
Michiru: *hugs Haruka tightly* *coyly* But Nao was fun...
Haruka: *hurt* Michiru.....
Michiru: *kisses lightly* I'm just kidding, sweetie.
Haruka: *kisses back* Okay.
Minako: *sniff* This is so sweet...
Makoto: *wipes her eyes* So beautiful.
Minako: *bawls and hugs Makoto*
Makoto: this is my new favorite show!
Hikari: Strange senshi...
Kakyuu: I still can't see how you could tell me to my face that you were drunk! You told me you loved me. Doesn't that mean anything?!?!
Taiki: No.
Kakyuu: Good bye, then. You'll never have to see me again because I'm going back to Kinmoku without you. And you'll never get to meet your daughter. *leaves*
Taiki: *scratches head* But I KNOW how to get to Kinmoku.
Fighter: I don't know how to break this to you, but I think you've just been banished. She does have the power to do that. Her planet, you know.
Taiki: Ooh, shit.
Healer: Again, you got yourself into this mess.
Taiki: *head in hands* I'm always getting myself into messes...
Moon: How could you just say that to her face? She's carrying your child. Are you that heartless?
Taiki: *muffled* Probably. *runs off after Kakyuu*
Moon: Isn't he banished? And what is he going to do?
Taiki: Apologiiiiiiiiize!!!
Healer: And once you get there, you'll find an energy field between you and Kinmoku. So how do you plan on doing that?
Taiki: *voice fading away* I don't know!
Fighter: That was dumb.
Taiki: *over senshi communicator* You, shut up.
Kakyuu: (crying in her palace) and he said he loved me. How could he just turn around now and say he didn't mean any of it? *sniff*
Taiki: *bangs on door* Kaaaaakyuu!!!
Kakyuu: Go away! You're not allowed on this planet anymore.
*Taiki is beamed back down to Earth*
Taiki: Damn. *tries to get back* But I'm sorry...
Healer: Do you think he has enough common sense to realize if he could talk to us via a communicator, he could talk to her the same way?
Fighter: I'm not sure.
Taiki: *over commie* I heard that! Kakyuu! Kaaaakyuu!
Kakyuu: *angry* What is it?
Taiki: *softly* I'm sorry...
Kakyuu: *wipes her eyes* Thank you.
Taiki: I was just shocked when you told me you were pregnant...
Kakyuu: I understand.
Taiki: Please forgive me?
Kakyuu: *softly* You're forgiven. You're allowed back, if you want, and you can see your daughter anytime when she's born.
Taiki: I would love to. Thank you so much.
Kakyuu: You're welcome.
Minako: *sniff* One night stands are so cute...
Kakyuu: And I understand that you don't love me. That's your right.
Taiki: ...in a way, I do...
Makoto: That's not what you said to Usagi when she dumped you.
Minako: I'd rather you not bring that up.
Kakyuu: What do you mean?
Hotaru: *tugs on Setsuna's skirt* Setsuna-mama, what's a one-night stand?
Setsuna: Err...... it's when two people act like they're in love one night, and then it never happens again.
Taiki: I guess...I guess I love you...what I feel for Yaten is more like...lust? *shrug*
Hotaru: Oh. Okay.
Kakyuu: Oh, Taiki... *cries out of happiness*
Taiki: *transports to Kinmoku and cuddles Kakyuu*
Minako and Makoto: *sniff, sniff*
Healer: Eh...what just happened?
Fighter: I think this means that they're a couple now.
Moon: Even _I_ got that, Healer.
Healer: It just was kind of sudden. Wow.
Moon: I'm not sure what to call us. But whatever it is, it's nice.
Healer: I agree. (the three go off screen again.)
Haruka: *cuddles Michiru* I think everyone's happy now.
Setsuna: *pokes at Mamoru, who's still fainted on the floor.* Almost everyone.
Hotaru: *tugs on Setsuna's skirt* Why is Mamoru on the floor?
Setsuna: He was shocked when Usagi said she was with Healer and Fighter now.
Hotaru: *tugs on setsuna's skirt* Why is Usagi with Healer and Fighter now?
Setsuna: Because she's happier with them than with him.
Hotaru: I see.
Setsuna: Let's see if he can be happy without her. *sprinkles some of the dust on him*
Mamoru: *kisses Setsuna* I love you!
Setsuna: *smile* I like this.
Hotaru: So everyone is happy now?
Setsuna: *making out with Mamoru* I'll tell you later.
Hotaru: *smiles* Then we can end the fic, for now! Death Ribbon, Revolution!
Fic: *ends*
Dedications, disclaimers, and apologies
To Nao-san (sama) if you ever read this: We're very, very sorry and we admire you very much. *bow bow* Now, the chances of the above actress reading this are zilch, but we just wanted to stick in something in case she did...we were talking about what would happen if she ever *did* stumble across it and didn't like the prospect of what might happen. Exact quote from conversation:
Nao: *writes email* That was the stupidest fanfic I ever read! Why would I sleep with *you* when I could be sleeping with Yuhka?!
Yuhka: *deletes last sentence, scolds Nao*
^_^() Ehe. I'm sure there's plenty of other quality Nao fanfiction out there. Unlike this one, they might portray Nao-san properly. (BTW, this is Takagi Nao we're talking about, not Inada Nao.)
Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon was drawn and writen by Naoko-sama (Megami no Manga). The animation was done by some one else. We do not own the senshi (Cele: Wish I did!!! Morgan: *sweatdrops*), no do we claim to.
The Rocky Horror Show and The Rocky Horror Picture Show were written by Richard O'Brien *bow, bow, worship, worship*, and not us. Audiance Participation is totally voluntery. Just don't blame us if you get taunted for being a Rocky Horror virgin. ^_^
And Remember, we don't get any money for this, so sueing would do no good. Anyway. That's all for now.
Signing off,
Cele-chan & Morgan-chan