"Playing smart hurts less than playing stupid."
"The realization of one dream means the immediate destruction of another."
"Leftovers belong to those who aren't first."
"Reaching the top normally means you had to step on a few things to get there."
"Success is a mistress that is very rarely pretty."
"If I had a dollar for everyone I met who was truly nice, I'd be broke."
"There are three important rules to know about women. You can never lie to them. You can never tell them the truth. And if pressed, then say 'I don't know dear. What do you think?' "
"Money is evil painted green."
"Truth is a minority in a world populated by reason."
"Looking only at the top will make you stumble over the things at the bottom."
"Death is a side effect of living."
"Humans are savages with little intellect."
"To be truly abominable is to have no redeeming factor."
"Dog is man's best friend because man can't stand to be man's best friend."
"A mind is a terrible thing to use."
"Evil is inherited, good is taught."
"Reality is a belief that becomes more real the more you believe in it."
"Being around so many people doesn't mean you aren't alone."
"Love is one of insanity's many faces."
"How can you love someone, but hate someone else?"
"The only thing that wants a bone is a dog."
"Lips will be the best feature of your mate because they will be the only thing that won't be as wrinkly and old looking as everything else."
"Mirrors reflect back what you think you look like."
"Dirt and trees are more important than diamonds and gold."
"Words are easier written than spoken."
"Emotions are the fuel that jumpstart diseases."
"Funny how people can only seem to call on God when something bad happens."
"Man is only superior in ranks of stupidity."
"Bad hygiene will drive people from you faster than a bad attitude."
"Never accept one belief until you can prove everyone elses beliefs to be wrong."
"Keep up the pace, because the world won't waste a second to run all over you."
"Rejoice at a funeral. Cry at a birth."
"Ants work themselves to death and make no advancement.
"What you think you are not capable of is what you will excell at."
"Why do people want to go to Heaven, but do more things that will send them straight to Hell?"
"A friend will hurt you deeper than any enemy."
"You don't need anyone's approval to love them."
"Love is a risk in itself."
"There will never be a creature in history that was more vicious than a female."
"A person who never laughs is someone who will never marry."
"A sincere smile is the greatest of them all."
"The greatest lesson taught is that which is not spoken."
"Children are a blessing and a curse."
"Don't concern yourself as to where you came from. Worry about where your kids will come from."
"This is the new millennium... people will see sex as a sport or exercise."
"Love is an emotion that loves to be acquired."
"Curiousity killed more than a cat."
"The laws tend to be more crooked than the criminals."
"Sometimes you don't exactly lie. You just didn't tell the truth."
"The greatest talent is being yourself."
"Humans say they cherish things in short supply. Then why don't they cherish the Earth simply because there is only one of it?"
"Know your limits, and exceed them."
"Stupidity is the equally successful cousin of intelligence."
"The easier that things get, the harder life will become."
"Success is temporary, but failure will always be at your side."
"Birthdays are just ways of saying that you're one year closer to death."
"People who have nothing to die for normally do just that... die."
"You may have failed, but at least you failed successfully!"
"The grass is always greener where the dog takes a shit."
