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These modern day Pharisees can’t wait to take the reins and start slaughtering the non-believers, and if you don’t think they’ll do it, if you don’t think you’ll be on the short list for a public roasting ala Joan of Ark, well you better stop dancing around the pagan pole and think again, Caligula. I believe many people out there believe me to be a bitter little man, but I do believe it or not consider myself to be a Christian, and I’m sorry, but you just don’t go shooting doctors. If a judgment is to be made, then God gets to make it. Not you… Him! You are Barney Fife. Keep your bullet in your shirt pocket, alright? Now God is Andy Taylor. If abortion is wrong, then God is going to let you know about it, and believe me that God paybacks are an eternal pain in the butt. If you think that your God is telling you to kill an abortionist in his name, then you need to crush some more tin foil on your antenna pal because you are getting some heavy, heavy interference. Now I don’t care what arcane passage you pull from the Old Testament of the Bible, or run through your Jeremiah begat Jedidiah decoder ring, one of the definitive tenants of Christianity is tolerance. Trust me when I say that there is no part of the Bible that says "love thine neighbor unless he’s a John Denver fan." Any real Christian doctrine must have at the core a untainted love for your fellow man… unless of course he proves himself to be a total butt hole. I mean God understands that I’d guess. Who do you think booked Satan’s flight? What he can’t understand is how you can turn your wrath on someone just because you don’t agree with their sexual preference. Forget your linear biblical interpretations that tell you to condemn gays, and follow your heart. It’s like when your driving instructor would tell you to un a stop sign, and you would. Then when you failed you would say "but you told me to" and he’d say "I’m sorry, but you never run a stop sign!" And you don’t carpet bomb a group of people with hate just because their different from you. Case closed, Tailgater Joe.
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Tolerance should extend as far as a schoolbook, and they should not corrupt your child who’s main heroes are a scarecrow, a tin man, and a cowardly lion. If you really think your kid’s character depends on prayer then pray with your kids… AT HOME! Stop fobbing off on the public school systems. They are simply there to teach your children to read, write, and add. Skills they will need if they are to apply for and wisely invest their unemployment checks one day. If you can’t find the time to do that, then forgo the trip to 7-11 for a Super Big Gulp of Columbian Blend, sit down with these children you profess to love so much and lead them in prayer. Look, I realize that this is America and everyone has the right to organize. The democratic party should try doing it sometime, but you know something? The members of these radical religions need to get it through their skulls. Separation of church and state. Separate! Not together! Apart! Like Bert and Ernie. One here, one there. The founding fathers set it up like that because back home in merry ol’ England, they witness scenes of theocratic horror that could make Quinton Tarentino puke.
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I know we don’t like to vote. Marking your ballot nowadays is like choosing between the 3 a.m. showing of the Beastmaster on Showtime, and the 3 a.m. showing of the Beastmaster 2 on Cinemax. The less we focus on politics, the more these fanatics begin to move in. So remember this when you’re in the booth with just you and your lever. The radical religious people out there believe that being that way not only denotes their position on the political scale, but their smug assertion that right is exactly what they are on any and all occasions… amen. |
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