Politics
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Ronald McDonald Talks About Gun Control
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In a conference held Wednsday morning at the Ronald McDonald House of Stanford, the big kahuna of Big Macs personally spoke out on the issue of gun control and the safety of children around firearms. In front of a crowd of 30,000 McDonald offered his viewpoints on why gun control should be opposed.
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"It's ridiculous!" exclaimed the clown. "If those big shots in the official office think they can rally the nation around gun control, well they've got something coming to them."
For emphasis McDonald brought along his personal revolver, and waived it at the crowd when making points during his speech. "I always carry this one around." he explained. "How else can I protect myself against those radical mothers who carry mace in their purses?"
McDonald argued during the conference that guns should be made available to not just adults, but children of all ages and ethnicity as well. "We need to give these kids a chance." McDonald said. "Don't the parents remember those grade school days when the mean kids stole your money to buy a Happy Meal? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about."
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As a donation from the Ronald McDonald Foundation, McDonald passed out guns to all children attending the conference. Children were then given the "fine points" of handling and shooting a firearm by gun experts within the McDonald Foundation. Parents were given complimentary pamphlets including anti-gun control and tips on gun safety.
"We at the Ronald McDonald Foundation are willing to take that extra step for our kids." McDonald claimed. "If we won't do it, who will?"
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"By all means I'm not suggestion our kids should run reckless through the streets waiving their guns around." McDonald later said. "They should know proper gun safety and also know how to handle their gun. If a bully bothers your child your child should have the option of putting a cap in their ass."
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