Thursday, June 20, 2002
	i felt horrible last night.  after work i went to parkin's house, curled up into a ball and cried my eyes out.  parkin was so comforting.  he held me and told me that everything was going to be alright.  i just felt like a complete failure and stressed out over bills and the wedding.  after i lay with him, i got up and cleaned up.  i debated whether or not to tell my mom what happened, but i felt so horrible when i got home that i just told her.  she was very quiet and sad, i think.  we had dinner together and i went to my room and just absorbed everything that had happened.  from my crying, i somehow caught a bit of a head cold and was very congested.  my mom warmed up some ginger, sliced it up and covered my head and neck with it.  it's a very good chinese remedy.  i felt fine this morning.  i came to the office to clear out my computer, i dont want any reminent of me here at the office.  bye bye lomark, you bastards.