Finding My Way Home


by Natalie Meyers




Natalie kneeled by her mother's bedside holding her lifeless hand. Her mother lay in the bed, pale… cold… dead of pneumonia. Natalie buried her head in her hands and cried. "Why did she have to die?" she asked herself. "Why did she leave me?"

As Natalie walked through the streets of Manhattan, she tried to shake this horrible memory from her head. She didn't want to think about it anymore. Not watching where she was going, Natalie did not have any time to get out of the way of a boy running down the street. The two bodies collided, throwing Natalie to the cobblestone.

"Ow!" Natalie exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, miss. I didn't see ya dere," the boy said. He offered Natalie his hand, "Hurry, before dey catch me."

Natalie accepted his hand and was pulled to her feet. Before she had anytime to speak the boy turned and said, "Dis way!" and started running. Natalie, still holding on to his hand, followed.

The boy stopped running when he got to the Newsboys Lodging House. He walked inside, and Natalie followed. The boy was taller than Natalie, had brown hair, green eyes, and wore a cowboy hat. As he caught his breath, he said to Natalie, "I'm really sorry bout back dere. De bulls was afta me, and I's had to run. I didn't see ya till it was too late."

"It's ok," Natalie replied as she looked around the room. "I wasn't really paying attention either."

"De name's Jack Kelly. And what would your name be, miss?"

"Natalie Meyers. Pleased to meet you," she shook Jack's extended hand.

"What's a little goil like you doing in Manhattan?"

"I'm looking for my brother, maybe you know him?" Natalie asked as her face lit up. "His name's Patrick Meyers. Last time I saw him, he had brown curly hair, brown eyes, was about this tall…" Natalie said as she held up her hand to show the height.

"Wait here a sec," Jack told Natalie as he raced up the stairs.

"I wonder where he's going," Natalie said to herself.

A few minutes later, Jack came down the stairs with a bunch of boys following him. Many of them were very good looking, and Natalie felt herself starting to blush. One in particular was staring at Natalie. He looked at the girl standing in the middle of the room. She was very short--not even 5 feet tall--had a toned body, long light brown hair that was in a French braid, hazel eyes, and a tan complexion. He closed his eyes and opened them again to make sure he was seeing straight.

"Nattie?" the boy called.

"Patrick?" Natalie combed the crowd of boys trying to figure out who called her name.

The boy ran towards Natalie and embraced her in a huge hug. "I can't believe it's really you! I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Oh, Patrick! I thought I'd never find you!" Natalie exclaimed as tears of joy filled her eyes.

"Ey, Mush! Ya mind tellin us who dis is?" asked Racetrack.

"Guys, dis here is me sista Natalie. Natalie, dese here are all me friends." Mush grinned from ear to ear.

All the newsies just starred at Natalie and Mush. Some of them started whispering among themselves.

"Ey, guys, I think we'se need to leave dese two alone. Come on!" Jack motioned for everyone to go back upstairs to the bunkroom.

Mush took Natalie's hand and led her to the couch where they could sit and talk.

"Nattie, what are ya doing all de way out 'ere in Manhattan?"

Natalie's head sank down to stare at her hands in her lap as her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Patrick, it was horrible!" Natalie's hands came up and covered her face as she started to cry.

"Nat! What happened? What's making ya so upset?" Mush asked as he held his sister and tried to comfort her.

"It was mother," Natalie was able to say in between sobs. "She died… of pneumonia!"

"Oh, Nattie. I'm so sorry I wasn't dere."

"All I could do was sit there and be with her. The doctors… couldn't do anything," Natalie began to cry even harder at the thought of her mother lying helpless in the bed.

"It's ok, Nattie. You'se got me now. I won't let anything happen to ya." Mush held his sister and stoked her hair to comfort her. As Mush sat there, he remembered the day he decided to run away. The scene was pretty much the same.

"No, Patrick. Don't leave me!" Natalie had pleaded with him.

"I have to go, Nattie. I can't take father's beatings anymore." Patrick looked at his sister's pleading eyes. He couldn't bear leaving his sister. But, if he didn't, he might be risking his life.

"What am I going to do without you?" Natalie sat in her brother's arm as he stroked her long, straight, light brown hair.

"Nattie, I have to go. I'll come back soon. When it's safe. Ok?" Patrick held his sister knowing it was probably the last time that he would ever do so. He hated lying to Natalie, but it was the only way.

"Ok," Natalie whispered, barely audible.

Patrick gave his sister a quick kiss on the head, grabbed his bag and walked out the door, never to look back.

"Nattie," Mush lifted Natalie's head up to look her in the eye, "let's go upstairs so you can meet everyone, ok?" Natalie nodded and dried the tears from her eyes. Mush took her hand and led her up the stairs to the bunkroom. As the two walked through the door, the room became silent and everyone looked at the pair.

"Guys, like I's said, dis is me sista Natalie. Over dere is Jack, ya know him already, Racetrack, Boots, Crutchy, Kid Blink, Specs and Dutchy. And over dere is Skittery, Snoddy, Snipeshooter, Snitch, Jake, Bumlets, Itey, Pie Eater, and Swifty."

Natalie gave a timid smile at the boys and quickly looked down at her shoes. Though Natalie grew up on the theatre stage, she felt very embarrassed and shy in front of this crowd. Mush, acknowledging the embarrassment of his sister broke the tension. "Ey! Who's hungry?" he asked.

Loud cheers and cries were heard in the room as the boys agreed to go to dinner at Tibby's. Natalie followed Mush out of the lodging house and into the streets.

On the way to Tibby's, Natalie took particular interest in the boy they called Swifty. He was taller than Natalie, had dark hair and a tan complexion as she did. "He's quite cute!" Natalie thought to herself. As Swifty's eyes met Natalie's, she turned away quickly and pretended to be listening intently to Racetrack explaining the strategy of betting on horses to Mush.

When the group arrived at Tibby's, Mush grabbed Natalie's hand and led her to a booth where Jack, Racetrack, Kid Blink and Swifty were sitting. Mush took one end of the booth near Racetrack and told Natalie she could sit next to Swifty on the other side.

"Don't worry, Nat. Swifty here's a real gentleman." Mush said as he nudged Racetrack and the whole booth erupted into laughter. Swifty smiled shyly at Natalie and gave Mush at light shove from across the table. The group ordered and ate dinner while talking about the headlines this morning. Natalie mostly listened and asked questions. She didn't mind, but she couldn't wait to get a chance to talk to Mush alone. There was so much they needed to catch up on.

Natalie followed the group of boys out of Tibby's and walked towards the back of the group as they all carried on and laughed at each other. Natalie was content walking by herself because she wanted to think some things over. Natalie didn't notice Swifty walking up beside her until her gently touched her arm. Surprised and slightly scared, Natalie let out a small shriek and jumped around to face Swifty.

"Sorry, Natalie! I's didn't mean ta scare ya like dat," Swifty said apologetically.

"Oh… it's okay, Swifty. I wasn't really paying attention. You just… startled me a little." Natalie kicked at the dirt on the street.

"I's saw ya walkin' all by yourself and thought ya might want some company," Swifty walked closer to Natalie and grabbed her hand. "It's always more fun wid two."

Natalie looked up and smiled at Swifty and closed her hand around his. The two made small talk on the way back to the lodging house as Natalie explained her background as a dancer in the theatre. She told Swifty off all the plays and musicals she had danced in and even some of the ballets too. Swifty was impressed that she had trained and performed since the young age of 4. They finally reached the lodging house and heard Mush call Natalie's name.

"I'm over here, Mush," Natalie called back dropping Swifty's hand as she looked around for her brother.

"Hey! Oh hey, Swifty. Um, Nat… you's gotta come over ta meet Kloppman and sign in. He's really nice and doesn't mind ya stayin 'ere." Mush grabbed Natalie's hand and pulled her over toward the desk before she had any time to talk to Swifty. Natalie caught Swifty's eyes as she was being pulled away and watched him disappear into the crowd walking up the steps. Natalie was introduced to Kloppman, signed in, and Mush paid for her nights stay. The two went upstairs to join the rest of the newsies in the bunkroom.

Mush showed Natalie the bunkroom and washroom, and then showed her the small room down the hall she would be staying in. She had a small bathroom connected to the room, which she could use.

"Thanks a lot, Mush. I really appreciate you letting me stay here with you. I hope your friends don't mind."

"Nah, dey don't mind. Actually, I's tink dey's kinda like ya. Come on. Let's go play some poker wid de others." Mush grabbed Natalie's hand as they went back to the bunkroom.

The boys were all spread out around the bunkroom. Some groups were playing poker and others were just talking. Mush joined in a poker game with Racetrack, Kid Blink, Snipeshooter and Bumlets. Natalie declined an offer to play. She'd rather just watch. Natalie scanned the room for Swifty but failed to find him. "I wonder where he went?" Natalie thought to herself. Just as if Jack could read her mind, he leaned towards her and whispered, "He's up on de roof."

Natalie turned around and faced Jack. "What?" Jack pointed towards the open window and said, "He's up dere. Go 'head." Natalie smiled at Jack thankfully and headed out the window and up the fire escape.

As Natalie reached the roof, she saw Swifty laying down looking up at the stars. She gingerly walked over to him, trying not to make any noise. "Want some company?" she asked as he sat up quickly.

"Hey, Natalie. I's didn't hear ya come up. Sure!" Swifty motioned for her to come sit beside him. Natalie walked over to him and sat down.

"The sky's so pretty. I love looking at the stars." Natalie leaned her head on Swifty's shoulder.

"Me too. I's always loved looking at de stars. I's come up here almost every night. Dey are so beautiful. I's thought dey were de most beautiful thing till I's saw you today." Natalie blushed at this compliment.

"Thanks, Swifty," was all she could say. Swifty put his arm around her, and she snuggled closer to him.

Natalie and Swifty sat on the roof talking about each other's past and making small talk. Natalie was starting to fall asleep when Swifty gently kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Natalie, will you's be my girl?"

Natalie felt a tingle in her stomach and her cheeks blush, though Swifty couldn't see this in the dark. "I'd love to," Natalie replied as she turned to face Swifty. He leaned in closer, and they kissed. Natalie's whole body was filled with such happiness and warmth.


The next morning, Mush awoke a little earlier than usual to go and wake up Natalie. Mush rolled out of his top bunk and walked quietly towards the room at the end of the hall. The door was closed and Mush knocked. "Nat," Mush called to within, "it's time ta git up." There was silence and Mush knocked a little harder.

"Nattie?" Mush said. He tried the doorknob, and it wasn't locked. As Mush pushed open the door slowly he found Natalie's bed had not been slept in the night before. Mush quickly went into the bathroom to see if she was already awake and getting ready. He found it empty and untouched. Mush ran back into the boy's room and found everyone had awaken and was getting ready.

"Jack?" Mush yelled over all the commotion, "Jack?"

"Whaddya want?" Jack said back as he walked towards Mush.

"Natalie isn't in her room. Doesn't look like she slept dere last night." Mush told Jack with a concerned look on his face.

Jack managed a small smile as he thought of the events that had taken place last night. "Well, did ya notice who else was missin' dis morning?" Mush looked around and looked at Jack with a confused look. "Swifty," was all Jack said and erupted into a huge grin.

"Well, where is dey den?" Mush asked.

Jack pointed to the window and walked back into the washroom to finish getting ready. Mush walked to the window, opened it and climbed up the fire escape. When he got to the top of the roof he saw Natalie asleep in Swifty's arms. He walked over to the two and nudged Natalie, "Hey, Nat. It's time ta git up. You's too, Swifty. Betta hurry or ya's gonna be late."

Natalie opened her eyes and rolled over to look up at Mush, "Oh… Mush… when did you come up here?" Natalie jumped up out of Swifty's arm and brushed off her pants.

"Jist came up here a few seconds ago cuz I's couldn't find ya and wanted ta tell ya to git ready." Mush looked down at Swifty who was slowly getting up. He just smiled at Swifty, who smiled back.

"Come on, we's gonna be late." Mush started to climb down the fire escape with Natalie and Swifty behind him. Natalie walked towards the room at the end of the hall to get herself ready. When she emerged all dressed and clean, she followed the crowd of boys into the streets of New York on her first day of being a newsgirl.

During the day, Natalie had the pleasure of selling with most of the boys. Jack was the first to take Natalie out into the wild of Manhattan. Race, then Kid Blink, Specs, Boots, Crutchy, and Swifty all took some time to show Natalie their technique in selling newspapers. Most of them seemed the same to Natalie, but she didn't have the heart to tell the boys that. While selling papers with Swifty, Mush approached the two from behind.

"Heya, Nat. How's it rollin'?" Mush asked.

Natalie and Swifty spun around surprised to see Mush standing behind them. "Heya, Mush. Whatcha doing all de way out 'ere?" Swifty asked, quite confused. Mush's selling spot was quite a distance from Swifty's, and it was unusual for him to come down this far.

"Oh, not'ing much, Swifty. Jist thought I's would take Natalie off ya hand's 'ere so you could do some serious sellin'," Mush explained as he grabbed Natalie's arm and pulled her towards him.

"Uh… soire! Dat's fine. I guess I'll talk ta ya lata', Nattie. T'anks for joinin' me." Swifty tipped his hat and smiled sweetly towards her.

"Ok, talk to you later, Swifty. And thank you!" Natalie cried as Mush pulled her away from Swifty and in the opposite direction.

"Nattie?" Mush asked simply.

"That's my name. What's wrong with calling me that?" Natalie gave her brother a dirty look.

"Dat's what I used ta call ya, and no one else," Mush snapped back.

"Well, Patrick, if you must know… things, well… have changed. I've changed. You've obviously changed…"

Mush cut Natalie off, "Not'ings changed Nat. I's still ya brudda."

"Well, you sure don't act like it sometimes. I would have thought you were my father!"

Mush stopped dead in his tracks and stared blankly at Natalie. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. No one had hated their father more than Patrick, and that's the one thing in the world he never wanted to be like. Telling Patrick he was acting just like his father was like a hard slap in the face.

Natalie realized what she had just said and turned to Mush quickly. "I didn't mean that, Patrick. Really, I'm just… well… really confused. With mom dying and everything… it's just been… too crazy. I really didn't mean that. Pat… I mean, Mush? Say something please?!" Natalie was very distraught and quite upset. She didn't mean to hurt her brother but she had.

"Uh… look, Natalie. I's gotta go. I'll talk wid ya lata'," Mush stepped off the curb and ran down the street.

"Mush! Wait!" Natalie cried as she tried to catch up with him. He was too fast, and Natalie finally stopped and sat on the curb. As she fought back tears, a hand was gently placed on her shoulder. Natalie looked up and saw a boy she did not know. He was dressed like a newsie, carried a cane and a slingshot and had mesmerizing gray eyes.

"Can I's help ya, miss? Are ya alright?" He offered a hand to Natalie and pulled her to her feet.

"Um…yes, thank you, I'm fine." Natalie brushed off some dirt, wiped away the few tears that were able to fall, and managed a small smile towards this stranger.

"De names Spot Conlon. I's de leader of de Brooklyn newsies. And, may I's ask, what your name is?"

"Natalie Meyers. Nice to meet you, Spot." Natalie extended her hand to Spot, which he accepted.

"You's really teeny. How old are ya?" Spot asked about Natalie's 4 foot 9 inch body.

"I'm 16," Natalie said as she blushed. "I've always been small. At least that's what my mother told me."

"Well, Natalie, what was ya doin' sittin' on dis curb cryin'?"

"Um, my brother and I just got in a fight, and he ran off. I tried to follow him, but he was too fast. I was really mad at him… and, well… at myself as well." Tears began to fill her eyes again, but Natalie brushed them aside. "Anyways, what are you doing in Manhattan, Spot?"

"Well, I's 'ere ta see Jack Kelly and his boys. Would ya like me ta walk ya to where you's goin'?" Spot asked with a wide grin.

"Well, actually," Natalie retorted, "I'm actually going to the same place. I'm staying in the lodging house for a while."

"Oh, alright. Let's go," Spot lead the way and Natalie followed in stride.

Spot and Natalie arrived at the lodging house, said hello to Kloppman and went up the steps to the boy's room. When they entered the room, there were boys playing poker, talking, fighting and just watching all the other activities taking place. Natalie thanked Spot for walking her there and for listening her talk practically the whole way there.

"My pleasure, Natalie. Now, I must go an' talk wid Jack. See ya 'round lata'." Spot tipped his hat and walked towards Jack playing poker. The guys greeted Spot and allowed him to join in the game. Natalie spotted Swifty talking with Specs, Jake, Bumlets and Skittery. She walked over behind Swifty and put her arms around him.

"Hey, Nattie!" Swifty exclaimed as he kissed her on the cheek. Natalie sat beside Swifty, and he placed his arm around her.

Jack stood up from his poker game and shouted, "Hey! Everyone listen up! We's gotta give Natalie 'ere a newsie name. She's one of us now, so it's only right she gits ta have one. Anyone got any bright ideas?" Jack flashed Natalie a smile.

Spot spoke up first. "How's about we's call her Teeny, since she's so little for her age. Dat's de first woird dat came ta mind when I's saw her today."

"I's like it. What do you think, Nat?" Jack turned to her and asked.

"I like it! If that's alright with everyone else?" Natalie gave Swifty's hand a squeeze and looked at all the other boys.

There were many agreeing comments and head shaking. Natalie's new name was now Teeny and it fit her perfectly. Natalie grinned from ear to ear at her new name. As she looked around the room, she realized there was a very important person missing.

"I'll be right back, sweetie," Teeny whispered to Swifty.

"Ok, don't be long!" Swifty teased as he pulled her to him for a kiss before she left.

Teeny quietly snuck out the window on to the fire escape. She followed the steps up to the roof and found what she was looking for. Across the roof, sitting on some wooden boxes turned away from her was Mush. Teeny closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, she walked across the roof towards Mush.

"Hey! I was looking for you," Teeny said, barely loud enough for Mush to hear. He turned around and looked blankly at his sister. He moved over so Natalie could sit down next to him. "You weren't downstairs when they decided on my newsie name. Just thought you should have been there." Teeny fought back tears at the thought of all the things her brother had missed since he'd ran away.

"So… what is it?" Mush asked simply.

"What's what? Oh, my newsie name? Teeny. Do you like it?" she asked timidly.

Mush looked at Teeny and smiled slightly, "Guess it fit's ya pretty good. I's always thought dat ya was teeny."

Teeny managed a slight giggle. "Um, Pat… Mush… I just wanted to say," Teeny wiped a single tear that fell from her hazel eyes, "I'm sorry. I should have never said you were acting like dad. That was so…" Teeny didn't have time to finish her explanation because Mush had pulled her into a tight hug.

"Nattie, don't. It's ok. I'm so sorry for everything. Leavin you an' mom. I's jist really glad you's 'ere now." Mush held Teeny as she cried and gently stroked her hair and back. When she was done crying, the two separated and Mush wiped a tear on Teeny's cheek. Teeny smiled and so did Mush.

"Come on, you! It's gittin' cold up 'ere," Mush said as he offered Teeny his hand. She gladly took it and the two started down the fire escape. Teeny stopped before climbing back in the window.

"I'm so glad I found ya Mush," Teeny said with a smile. Mush smiled back and climbed in first. Teeny followed. She was now with Mush and the newsboys and she couldn't be happier!


Epilogue

A few days after Teeny spent some more time with Mush, Swifty and the boys, she went to her new home, the Queens Lodging House. Jack, Mush, Swifty and Kid Blink walked her to Queens and there is where she lives as happy as a clam. Teeny still visits Mush and the Manhattan boys whenever she gets the chance.



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