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Chapter Seven
The Question
*****Previously*****
“What this means, Mr. Mathers is that there is this lovely empty space right about here.” Doctor Keller drew in green a circle around what was indeed a nice empty cavity inside AJ’s abdomen. “And, my boy’s that right there in the middle of that empty space is your baby.”
*****Present*****
AJ looked at Doctor Keller in shock. Sure he knew this was going to be what would happen, but to actually hear a doctor say it was a totally different story.
Marshall was having the same problem. He kept looking AJ up and down. The whole thought of his boyfriend being pregnant was still mind-boggling.
“Well, don’t you all say something at once.” Laughed Doctor Keller.
“You mean it worked, I’m going to have a baby?” Asked AJ not able to hide the shock from his voice.
“That’s right Alex, you’re pregnant. You and those friends of yours are going to be the first pregnant men.”
What the doctor said hit AJ like a ton on bricks. What the hell was he thinking? He was a Backstreet Boy. A role model for thousands of teenage girls. How the fuck was he supposed to explain not just being gay, but being one of the first pregnant men.
Marshall smiled at AJ until he noticed the change in his lovers face. Just a second ago AJ was beaming, now he looked like he was about to cry. “Alex, honey, what’s wrong?”
AJ shook his head and pleaded with Marshall with his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about it right now.
Marshall just sighed and went back to sit on the chair across from the table.
Doctor Keller watched the exchange between men, but didn’t say anything. He knew they were both having extremely confusing emotions running though their heads right now. “Well, AJ, why don’t I explain to you what you will need to do for the next seven or so months.”
*****@*****
The ride home was spent in silence. Marshall didn’t know what was going though AJ’s mind, but whatever it was wasn’t good. Finally after ten minutes Marshall got off the highway and pulled into a McDonald’s.
AJ finally looked up at Marshall when he felt the car stop. “What are we doing?”
“I’m getting us some Big Macs and fries, and then you are going to tell me what the fuck is bothering you.” Said Marshall getting out of the car. “Stay here, I will be right back.”
AJ could feel tears prickling the insides of his eyes as he watched Marshall walk into the restaurant. He never thought just that small movement could hurt him so badly. What he wanted the most out of anything was to be able to be seen in a public place with Marshall, without having people think weirdly of it. ‘Oh, what a great job you did of that Alex. Your whole plan was to make it so you would be accepted, but what did you go out and do? Make yourself one of the first pregnant men. That sure wasn’t a way to get eyes off you and Marshall.’ His mind yelled at him. “Why does everything have to be so fucking screwed up?” He yelled this time out loud.
Marshall was on his way back to the car when he heard AJ scream from inside. In a split second he was inside the car looking at AJ. “What the fuck did you yell like that for? You scared me half to death!”
AJ looked up at Marshall with his tear stained face.
“Oh, gee Aje. Please tell me what’s wrong? You are supposed be happy right now. The one thing you wanted in the world has finally happened.” Said Marshall pulling AJ across the car seats and into a hug.
AJ relaxed into Marshall’s arms, not wanting to ever let go. “I’ve really messed up Marsh.”
Marshall pulled back to look into AJ’s eyes. “What do you mean?”
“This whole baby thing was a stupid idea. I wanted us to be closer together, to be able to finally come out to the world. I thought this would help, but really I’ve only caused more of a reason for us not to come out. We aren’t left alone as it is, think what it’s going to be like when we are the first all male couple to have a baby.” AJ was sobbing by this point. All he really wanted was to go back three months and never see that stupid magazine add.
Marshall took AJ’s chin in his hand making him look in his eyes. “Alexander James McLean. I don’t ever what to hear you saying your ideas are stupid, you understand me?”
“How can you say that Marshall? Your career has gone down the drain because of this little person in my stomach.” AJ knew he was going to the extreme, but I couldn’t help but feel this way.
That was all Marshall could take. AJ was acting crazy. “AJ listen to yourself! Do you have any fucking idea what you’re saying? We went through all this trouble to get you here and now you want to turn back. Well, guess what AJ McLean, you are going to be a father, and one of the best fathers around. And do you know why? Because I’m going to be there to help you. I’m not going anywhere and if you think I am, then you don’t know me very well. I love you Alex.” He was crying by this point and didn’t even try to hide it.
AJ whipped his face on his sleeve and looked up at Marshall. By the look in his eyes AJ knew he wasn’t joking. Marshall was going to stay, no matter what. Finally he allowed a smile to come to his face and wrapped his arms around Marshall’s neck. “I love you too!”
Marshall smiled. The thought of loosing AJ or the baby was the worst feeling he had had in the world. Sighing he knew what he had to do. He opened the car door and walked out.
AJ looked at Marshall strangely before he too got out of the car. “What are you doing Marshall?”
“Lets take a walk.” He said reaching his hand out for AJ to take it.
“What if somebody sees?” Asked AJ looking around as if he was about to do a crime of some sort.
“Fuck what everybody else thinks.”
AJ smiled slightly and took Marshall’s hand letting him lead him down the sidewalk.
After walking for a few minutes Marshall and AJ found themselves outside of a park.
“Come lets go sit.” Said Marshall walking over to a bench under a tree.
AJ shivered slightly, but sat down anyway. “Marshall its…like…20 degrees out here.”
Marshall laughed and wrapped his coat-covered arm around AJ’s shoulders. Taking a deep breath he looked into AJ’s eyes. “Alex, you know I love you right?”
AJ looked at Marshall in confusion. “Yeah I know.”
“And that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you?”
AJ nodded.
Marshall licked his lips and took another deep breath of the cold winter air. Looking around the park and only seeing a few other people he got down on one need in front of AJ.
“Marshall, what are you doing?” Asked AJ through clenched teeth.
“Something I should have done a long time ago.” Liking his chapped lips again for good measure he began again. “Alex, I’ve loved you for almost three years now. For a year of that I was in denial of my real feelings and let that get in the way of our friendship, and careers. When I finally found out that you felt the same way I was going crazy inside. I really found that the feelings I had weren’t just lust, but real true love. That love has only gotten stronger since that point and I find myself growing more and more in love with you each day. When we found out you were pregnant today, I felt all-warm inside. I felt that my family was finally becoming complete, but that’s when I remembered that even though we would have that bond between this child, we would never be bonded. So here I am down on one knee and looking into your big brown eyes, and asking…Alexander James McLean, will you marry me?” |
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