*Two Weeks Later*
Nicole sat on her bed and looked at her mother who had come to take a look at her in her wedding dress, the wedding was tommrrow and her mother wanted to be the first one to see her in her dress. They ended up talking about how her life was going to change and how different everything was going to be. Nicole was happy to know that her mother supported all of this because she didn't want to feel as if she was upsetting two people. Her mother and Nick.
As her mother left Nicole sighed. She hadn't heard from Nick since he said that he would come. She just wished that if he was going to change his mind he would have the guts to call her and tell her instead of having her sitting there wondering. It hurt her to think that he might have found something better to do then be there for her. She hoped that wasn't the case, she hoped that maybe something came up and wasn't able to catch her. She had been busy and maybe missed his call.
Nicole felt a tear form. She never could have imagined that this was how her life was going to end up. It was never a challenge for her to make decisions, she always knew what she wanted and worked to get it. But now, she didn't know what she wanted and it scared her. She needed some reasureance that what she was doing was the right thing, and then her mother knocked at her door.
"Someone's here to see you," her mother said.
"Who is it?" Nicole said not really caring.
"Take a guess," a voice that sounded like Nicks said. Nicole jumped from her bed and saw Nick she ran over to him and gave him a big hug. Her mother smiled and headed off to her bedroom.
"I missed you!," she said, "I almost thought that you weren't coming."
"I almost didn't but I talked myself into coming," he said releasing her from his arms. She didn't want to let go but did when she saw that Nick had. She was just glad to see him again, it had been so long since she had seen him in person. Only on television and in magazines had she seen his face.
"I'm glad you did. I really missed seeing you!"
He smiled and said, "You look even more beautiful then I remember. It's been too long. It really has been. I missed you a lot."
"Yeah," she said blushing.
"I can't believe that you're getting married tommrrow to a guy thats not me," he said getting really serious.
"Well I am," she said trying to assure herself that it was the right thing to do. She had promised herself to Josh and she wasn't about to change her life all over again just because Nick wanted her to.
"Yeah..," he said then paused, "but I still love you."
"Nick.." she didn't know what to say because she still loved him too but she couldn't admit it because she knew that Nick would have some speech ready about what to do if she wasn't sure, she didn't want to hear it even though she needed to.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I just couldn't help it."
"It's alright," she told him.
"Mama," came a young voice, Nick turned to see where it was coming from and saw a little boy. Nicole closed her eyes, because she knew that he was going to yell at her for not telling him, weather it was his or not.
"Go back to bed," she said.
"But dats dada," he said. Nicole looked at Nick the expression on his face showed anger and shock all at the sametime.
"Go back to bed, I said," Nicole said to Steven.
"Otay mama," he said walking back to his room.
"Did he just call me dada?" Nick said pissed off that she hadn't told him about his son. He didn't know what he was going to do now or even how to feel. He was pissed that she had kept this from him, and kind of confussed as to why she did it. On the other hand, he felt guilt. He blamed himself for her keeping it secret, but he knew that was crazy.
"Yeah," she said a tear rolling from her eye.
"Why didn't you tell me about him?" he yelled.
"Nick, please don't yell," she said softly.
"Why shouldn't I yell? You didn't tell me that I had a son!! I think I have every right to yell!!" She cried harder, she knew that she hadn't done the right thing by keeping him away from his son.
"I was scared," she said fighting her tears, "I thought that I would lose you because of it. I thought that he might scare you away from me."
"Thats no excuse! He's still my son and you should have told me no matter what. You should have known that I wasn't going to run. I'm not like that, even if I was you still should have told me so that I can make my own decision! Instead of having you keep him away from me."
"I didn't want to ruin your career!!"
"What?" he asked confussed.
"I know how much you love the group and everything. I thought if it get out that you had a baby, it would hurt the group. I love you, I only did what I thought was right." Nick looked at her. He felt bad for yelling at her, but she had kept his son away from him.
"Look," he said calming down, "You should have known that I care more about you and my son then an image."
"I know and I'm sorry," she said hoping that Nick would forgive her.
"Whats his name?" he asked.
"Steven."
"Can I go see him?" he asked hoping that she would let him. He missed out on so much already, he just wanted to be there for the rest of it.
"Yeah," she said and smiled. Glad to know that he wanted to take part in Stevens life. He wanted to be dada. She was happy. She took Nick to Stevens room, Steven was sitting on the bed looking out the window.
"Steven, honey," she said walking into the room with Nick close behind.
"Yeah mama?" he said a little quieter than usual.
"Dada wants so talk to you ok?"
"Otay mama," he said looking at Nick. Nick smiled at him, this was his son and he was happy to have him in his life. He made a promise to himself the moment that he looked into Stevens eyes, that he would be there for him no matter what it took.
"Hey buddy," he said sitting on the little bed next to Steven.
"Hi," Steven said a little shy.
"I just want to say I'm sorry for not being there for you," he said as Steven looked at him, "but I promise that I will make up for it."
"Otay dada," he said and Nick hugged this little boy that he had helped make. He was saddened by the fact that he hadn't seen him grow from a little baby to now. Though that wasn't a long time, he still wished he was there.
"Go to bed now," Nick said as he watched Steven lay back on the bed. Nicole couldn't help but smile as she watched them together. This was how it was supposed to be. Nick was supposed to be the one helping put Steven to bed, not Josh, not her mother.
"Night dada," Steven said.
"Good night buddy," Nick said and smiled. His attention soon turned to Nicole. The smile that was just on his face now gone, she looked at him and waited for something to happen.
"Lets talk," Nick said and Nicole shook her head.
"Yeah, that would be a good idea."
"I still can't believe that you didn't tell me about him," Nick said as they walked into Nicoles bedroom.
"Nick, I'm sorry, I know I should have told you but...."
"No buts Nicole, hes my son. I had a right to know about him. I would have taken responsiblity. You know that."
"I know."
"I want him in my life."
"Good, I'm glad."
"How are we going to work this out? I mean you live here in New York and I live in Florida. I want to see him, I want to get to know him. Any suggestions?"
"No."
"Didn't think so."
"Nick, we can work something out. I want to work something out. I would rather you be in his life instead of having Josh as a replacement."
"I'm glad that you told Steven that I was his father and not Josh."
"I would never do that. He knew that Josh wasn't his father and that you were. I kept a scrap book of all the BackStreet Boys news articles and magazine ones too. Not only that, but there are pictures of you and me together in there."
"You should have just told me."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, I know, but sorry doesn't take it all back."
"Nick, please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I'm just mad at you. You should have told me about this. I don't even know how old he is! Or what his birthday is, I should have been there for all of this."
"His birthday is in a few months, not to long after yours and he's two right now." Nick just shook his head. He was in total disbelife. This was something that he thought that she would tell him. He just about wanted to cry, Now that he had a son with her, he knew now more than ever that he and Nicole had to be together.
"I should be going," Nick said.
"Are you coming to the wedding?"
"I don't know," Nick said and walked out of her bed room.
*Later that Night*
Nick sat back in a chair that was in his hotel room. He couldn't believe that he had a son this whole time and Nicole never told him about it. He needed to talk to Brian, so Nick took his cell phone from his pocket and dialed in Brians number.
"Hello?" answered a sleepy voice.
"Brian.."
"Nick, hey, how have you been? I haven't talked to you in a while."
"I'm in New York. I came to see Nicole."
"You did what?" Brian said shocked.
"I had to see her one last time. Shes getting married tommrrow. I just had to see her, but.. when I got there, I found out that she wasn't telling me everything," Nick said holding back his fear.
"Like what?" Brian asked.
"Like I have a son."
"WHAT?!?!"
"Yeah, he's two. She didn't tell me about him this whole time. I can't believe that."
"Wow," Brian said amazed.
"I can't believe that she didn't tell me."
"What are gonna do?"
"I don't know yet. I mean since he's mine, I want to be a part of his life ya know? I want to do the right thing, but I just can't believe that she didn't tell me about this."
"How did she tell you? Was she like 'oh yeah by the way, you have a two year old son'? or what?"
"She didn't excatly tell me. He walked in and called me dada and I think right then and there she knew that she was going to have to tell me all about him. Other wise I don't think she was going to tell me."
"This is a lot to take on. You have to consider how far apart you guys live and that shes getting married. That means that you are going to have to deal with this other guy. Not only that but all of a sudden you have a two year old, your life is gonna change."
"Yeah tell me about it. I just wish that she told me! Come on, how do you not tell me something like that? She had so many oppertunites to tell me but she didn't."
"Why do you think she didn't tell you?"
"She said she said that she was scared and that she thought that if it got out that I had a baby, it would hurt the group. Thats no excuse, he's still my son no matter what, she should have known that she could have told me."
"Well, what are you gonna do now? Go to the wedding?"
"I planned on going until I found out about this. I'm just to pissed to think straight. No matter what though, don't expect me back for a while cause I want to spend a little time with my son while I have the chance."
"Yeah, thats cool. I guess I'll talk to you later," Brian said.
"Yeah, bye," he said and hung up the phone. He walked over to the bed and laid down. This was a lot to deal with. First, Nicole was getting married, after a while he did find the emotional strength to agree to go. Then he finds out that she was the mother of his son, and didn't tell him. He was still pissed about it, he knew that life was't going to be any easier now. All he had to do was decide what he wanted to do with the situation that he found himself in.
Chapter 21