Call them diners or greasy spoons or neighborhood cafes. Some are true “holes in the wall,” others are freestanding. What they have in common is reasonably cheap eats and less than formal decor. Here are some I know well. I hope to expand this sometime in the future to include reviews from the larger Internet community.
 
 
 

MARYLAND

Cindy Dee Restaurant
Keep Tryst Rd. at U.S. 340
Knoxville, Md.

A must stop for travelers driving between Frederick, Md., and Harpers Ferry, W. Va., the Cindy Dee offers a true small-town restaurant experience at rock bottom prices. The walls are decorated with cheesy pictures (Elvis included) and each table boasts its own individual jukebox. Breakfast is served all the time and there are—ahem—“novelty items” sold from a coin-operated dispenser in the men’s room.

The blueberry pancakes are well worth stopping for—light and fluffy, absolutely loaded with wild blueberries. If you want sausage with them, Cindy Dee’s patties are more flavorful and less greasy than their links. Other breakfast items can be chancy: one one visit, my creamed chipped beef on biscuits arrived cold. I had to send it back not once but twice and then it was boiling from the microwave. Burgers and sandwiches are a safe bet but dinner entrees are uneven. Avoid Cindy’s broiled fish.

Typically, there is a cast of colorful characters within earshot at a nearby table. The Grumpy Old Man type seems to predominate, offering certain pronouncements about the way it used to be, but you may also hear polyester-clad women discuss their medical problems in frightening detail. If you’re really lucky, you’ll be seated next to two minivans full of New Jersey tourists with kids in tow.

Best thing: Fast beverage refills.
Worst thing: Smoking section recently eliminated.
Most quirky thing: Soup sold by the gallon.
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The Tastee Diner
7431 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Md.

This is not a good restaurant, okay? Let’s be upfront about that. It’s battered and cheesy—and, no, I’m not describing the food! What I find interesting is how many times I’ve been back there. Could it be that there’s more than meets the eye? Well, probably, but that’s not the best wording to use in a restaurant review. Especially when it’s a restaurant in which the kitchen is hidden from view.

First things first, the Tastee is a traditional diner, long and narrow with booths and counter stools but no tables. Except for the clientele’s attire, it looks like something out of the ’50s (or Hollywood’s depiction of the ’50s, anyway). Each table boasts its own napkin dispenser and sugar canister—no silly paper packets here!—and the vinyl upholstery makes uncouth noises when you slide in and out of your booth.

The food is neither wonderful nor horrible, although I have it on good authority that the Spanish omelet leans more toward the latter condition. My old diner standby, blueberry pancakes, are yummy enough and small enough that I usually order a second plateful. Sandwiches are okay here, but the hot entrees tend to be a tad unappetizing. The iced tea is perfect.

At last check, the Tastee still had a smoking section, but do expect to wait a few minutes for a booth if you want to sit there. The service, while sometimes forgetful, is delivered with personality and cheerfulness. Late at night, the place can get noisy, and the fluorescent lighting is atrocious. But it’s convenient, the food is served piping hot, and the prices are scandalously low for Bethesda. Where else are you gonna eat when you get the munchies in Montgomery County at 3 a.m.?

Best thing: Open 24 hours.
Worst thing: No chicken fried steak!
Most quirky thing: It was crowded enough before they put in the Keno machine.
 
 

NORTH DAKOTA

The Drumstick Cafe
Thayer Avenue and Third Street
Bismarck, N.D.

A true institution in downtown Bismarck, the Drumstick has no major faults and much to recommend it. It’s a true Hole in the Wall with limited seating (beware the lunch hour crush!) and utterly plain, functional decor. You can see through to the kitchen, which turns out hearty home style food quickly and well. A small smoking section is in the front.

To visit the Drumstick without tasting the chicken fried steak is folly: they come as close to perfect on this dish as any restaurant ever could. Crispy outside, moist and tender inside, the breaded patty is generously sized and topped with a well seasoned gravy that also livens up the mashed potatoes. (Substitute fries if you must.) Other hot dishes are good enough here, as are the sandwiches. Don’t expect fancy but count on it being fresh and tasty. The one exception is the pies: made on the premises, the crust is often too thick and suffers additionally from storage in the refrigerator. The salads, while fresh, are uninspired.

Best thing: Non greasy fried foods.
Worst thing: Unpadded wooden seats.
Most quirky thing: Fargo Forum newspaper sold on premises, but not the Bismarck Tribune.
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The Wood House
Highway 83
Bismarck, N.D.

Years ago, this was my favorite place to eat in Bismarck, but the quality has suffered somewhat in recent years. A block from the Interstate, this modest detached building is home to a restaurant that attracts both travelers and local residents. The Wood House has excellent air conditioning and a sizable smoking section, and the booths are well padded and comfortable.

According to the sign outside, the Wood House has the “world’s best hamburgers.” I won’t argue with their claim. While good burgers are widely available in North Dakota, this joint’s examples of the genre are especially tasty—juicy, tender, and genuinely flavorful. Buffalo burgers are also offered here; they’re okay but a bit dry. The french fries are excellent, as is the cole slaw. A major disappointment recently has been the shakes: they used to be superb but now have a chalky, overly sweet aftertaste.

Best thing: Unquestionably, the burgers.
Worst thing: Slow service.
Most quirky thing: You place your order by phone from your booth.
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The Trapper’s Kettle
Highway 85
Belfield, N.D.

If you like stuffed animals, this may be the place for you. I don’t mean cuddly little teddy bears, though. A full-grown grizzly, safely enclosed in glass but startling nonetheless, awaits you as you enter. Other taxidermic masterpieces abound, as well. And if that’s not wild and western enough for you, how about food served on a metal plate?

The Kettle serves breakfast all the time, which is a real plus for late risers who missed the blueberry pancakes and buffalo breakfast tacos at the Rough Rider in Medora (not a hole in the wall). Servings are ample, if not exactly gargantuan, and everything comes hot off the grill. The sandwiches look scrumptious, although I haven’t partaken, preferring the bacon-and-eggs approach to raising my cholesterol to the ham-and-cheese method.

Highway 85 is a major through route and the Kettle, not far from the I-94 junction, reflects its location. The service is efficient but curt, and many of the diners look road-weary and wild-eyed but are nearly always harmless. If you’re traveling between Bismarck and Medora, forget the fast food nightmare of Dickinson and visit the Trapper’s Kettle.

Your comments and suggestions are welcome! Send me e-mail.