| Departure We got flashes! We got "I love yous"! We got nookie! |
| Notes: Roswell scripts are property of the WB, Jason Katims Productions and the rest of The Powers That Be. I don't own them so absolutely NO infringement or copyright violation is intended. I've made an effort to get the transcripts as accurate as I can but they may not be 100% accurate. I'm not posting all the scenes in the episode, just certain ones that I like. They are scenes primarily with Michael and/or Maria in them. My MS3TK-style commentary is in < >. Please do not archive these transcripts/commentaries anywhere else. Transcriber/Commentator: Minnie Archive Date: 5/21/2001 Note: M = Maria, S = Sean, L = Liz, K = Kyle, Mx = Max, Mi = Michael, I = Isabel Maria's intro: M: Max and Tess are now an item. <You mean, like in the supermarket? Are they on sale this week?> There I said it, I don't like it, but I said it. <Something tells me Maria's not a Rebel.> Anyway, turns out Liz was right -- Alex was murdered by an alien and the killer is still out there. <Well, give the girl a prize. Er, Alex isn't dead. He's in Sweden. Sweden, I tell you!> Michael's intro: Mi: Let me tell you what's really going on. <This should be interesting. Wonder if he's going to talk about M&M's relationship..> Tess is pregnant. <Aw, nuts. No Maria talk.> Maxwell's the dad. <I can just see Max changing a diaper bag and changing nappies.> Here's the problem: the baby can't survive on earth, so we need to find a way home. Which fortunately, I think I did. <You did? Don't you mean you, Liz and oh yeah, MARIA?> Max, Tess, Isabel and Michael are inside the pod chamber. Mx: This is a key. <It is? ::looks around for Dawn:: I don't see Dawn. Isn't she the key?> When we insert it in the Granolith will transport us...home. <::giggles:: He said 'insert'. ::points to the crystal:: Insert that thing. ::giggles again::> It will take 24 hours for it to prepare itself. <Prepare itself for what? A shoe sale?> When it's ready, we have to be on board or we don't go. <Yeah, that's what I keep telling my sister. You have to be in car once the shoe sale at Robinsons starts otherwise you don't go!> The granolith is capable of one mission, only one. <It can only go to one shoe sale? Well, that sucks. What if there's more than one going on?> When we use it, it's gone. <Kinda like those phone cards, huh? Once you use the minutes, they're gone.> It's our only way home. Is everyone ready? <Bring on the shoe sale, baby!> I: (shaking head) This is happening too fast. <No, it's not.> Mx: We have no choice, Iz. <Yes, the store closes at 9 PM. We only have 11 hours to shop for shoes.> Mi: What about Leanna? <She wants to go to the sale too?> She's still out there, how can we leave? <Exactly. I mean, she might want a new pair of shoes.> I mean, she's already killed Alex, what's to stop her from killing Liz or Kyle or Valenti or Maria. <Oh. That. Well, then, no shoes for her!> Mx: I'll take care of Leanna <What does that mean, exactly? You'll steal all her shoes?> T: (holding stomach) Max... <If she says, "What do we do now, Max", I will scream.> Max puts the crystal key into the the granolith. A wall clock with the alien symbol on it starts the countdown.. Mx: Everyone say your goodbyes. <::sad look::> At the Crashdown: Liz, Maria, Kyle and Sean are sitting at a table. They're laughing. M: Sean, you really gotta lose that earring. <Yes, Sean, the color's just not you. > It's just so obvious that you're trying ... S: You're retarded, you know that? <Er, you're not talking about me, are you?> L: I think it looks cute. <Baby bunnies are cute. Red shoes that match your outfits are cute. Earrings? Not usually cute.> M: Let's hear from someone other than employee Parker. <::in DeNiro-esque tones:: You talkin' to me? Are YOU talkin' to me? ::paces in front of a mirror:: Are you talkin' to ME?> Kyle ... <Oh, sorry, you were talking to Kyle. Never mind. ::sheepish grin::> K: Isn't that like a gay thing? <Ever notice how much the word gay shows up when Kyle is around?> Anyway ... S: No, it is not a gay thing. <Yeah, it's an earring.> I really gotta get out of this town. <Well, I hear Vegas is a cool place to hang out. If you have $50,000 to spare.> I really do. Maria notices Kyle tapping his fingers on the table. M: Could you please stop doing that thing? <What thing?> K: What? M: That tapping thing. You've been doing it for like an hour. <Hey, he's just trying to break the Guiness world record for "longest tapping streak in history." I think the record stands at 1 hour, 23 minutes, 42 seconds. And you just stopped his streak, Maria.> K: I have? <Wow, he didn't even know he was close to breaking the record.> Max and Michael arrive. K: Oh, Heckel and Jeckel. <Kinda like Frick and Frack, huh? Or Tic and Tac? Or Bric and Brac? Never mind. I could go on and on.> Kyle and Sean leave. Michael sits down at the table, facing Maria. Mx: (to Liz) Can we talk upstairs? <Is this about Sean's earring? Because I already told him it was SO not his color.> Please. Max and Liz leave. Michael looks at Maria. He looks like he wants to say something to her but can't get the words out. M: What? Oh God, somebody's dead, isn't ...? <No, not someBODY but someTHING. Yup, the earring has met its maker.> Mi: No, no, no. It's nothing like that. <You mean, Sean's decided to keep the earring? Feh. No one listens to me anymore.> M: Then what is it? <Uh, Sean's decided to get a bellybutton ring instead? Oh, geez.> Mi: I have to see you tonight. <*sigh* He wants to see her. Tonight. *sigh*> <> Later that night at Michael's apartment: Maria enters the apartment. Michael's all dressed up, wearing a tucked in shirt and nice dress pants. <Woohoo, Maria's right, spaceboy does look good when he's all cleaned up.> Candles are lit everywhere. M: Michael? <Yep, that's his name alright.> Maria looks at the spread on the table. There's food and candles there. Mi: I know you like Italian so ... <Italian? Italian what? Shoes? Maria likes Italian shoes? Okay, I knew I liked that Maria girl. Seriously, how can you not like a girl who likes Italian shoes? Oh .., you mean Italian FOOD! Even better. Pass me a slice of pizza, would you?> And I know Scooby's your favorite. <Forget the pizza. Pass me a Scooby snack! Let's pause here for the requisite "Awwwwwww", shall we? Awwwww, he set up a candlelight dinner for her. *triplecandysigh* Not only that, he used Scooby plates. Awwwww. This scene just captures M&M. Even in a serious and romantic setting, a trace of humor lingers.> M: What's going on? <Michael was just about to give me a Scooby snack. You want one too?> Mi: Sit down. <Uh, Michael? About that Scooby snack?> M: What is this all about? <Well, apparently, it's not about him giving me food. Or anyone else for that matter.> Mi: Sit down, please. <He's very polite, isn't he? Woah! Did I just use the words 'polite' and 'Michael' in the same sentence?> Maria sits on the chair by the couch and Michael sits next to her, facing her. Mi: There's a lot about you, Maria. <Uh-huh, like what? Examples would be good. That should tide me over until I get my snack.> Maria nudges her head to the side in silent agreement. Mi: There's a lot about you but I think what means the most to me is that you're open. <Yup, she's as open as an open book. Okay, so that's redundant. Sue me. I'm still waiting for a snack here.> You know I can look into your eyes and I can see you. <*quadruplecandysigh* He looks into her eyes! He can see her! So, Michael, wanna give me a rough estimate of how many times you've done this? A few numbers would be good. And you don't even have to round them off.> I can see what you're thinking. <Good. Then fork over the snack and no one gets hurt. Oh, you were talking to Maria, not me. Continue, please.> I can see what you're feeling <Wow, not only can he cook but he's clairvoyant too. That settles it. I'm keeping him. For Maria.>, how much I mean to you sometimes and how much I piss you off sometimes. <You? Piss me (and her) off? ::innocent look:: Naaahh, really? Wherever did you get that idea?> But I can always see you. <*quintuplecandysigh* I can't stop sighing. Oh, no! I've developed CCSS -- Chronic Candy Sigh Syndrome. Symptoms of CCSS include sighing at M&M, sighing at M&M and oh, yeah ... sighing at M&M. Don't you dare pass me a Scooby snack now, Michael. I'm much too involved with the sighing.> M: I see you too. <U2 is in Michael's apartment? Where? Bono? You in here? Yoohoo! Oh, wait, you mean "you too", not U2, the Irish band.> Mi: No, no. You don't see me. <She doesn't see ... Oh my God, Michael thinks Maria's gone blind! Someone get him a Scooby snack, quick!> You know when Max and Liz would kiss and Liz would get the flashes <Yeah, and you know when you and Maria would kiss, I would get hot flashes? *g*> and when we would kiss, you didn't? <I did too get hot flashes!! Er, okay, that's not what it sounds like.> I know how much that hurt you. <Newsflash: CCSS just become a permanent Minnie-malady.> Michael's voice is breaking down. Tears fill his eyes. His chin starts to wobble. <My chin starts to wobble. My couch starts to wobble. Damn couch legs. ::plops down on the couch, clutches pillows and cries:: Damn, Brendan, you're really doing a good job in this scene.> M: That doesn't matter to me anymore, Michael. Mi: The reason you didn't get the flashes <Again, I reiterate, "Did too!" That's my story and I'm sticking to it like CCSS.> is because I didn't let you get them. I didn't let you see me. <::dramatic stance:: But why, Michael, why? ::wrings hands::> I've never let anyone see me before. <Awww, c'mere and lemme give you a hug. *sniffle*> Michael's voice is breaking down. Tears fill his eyes. His chin starts to wobble. <My chin starts to wobble. My couch starts to wobble. Damn couch legs. ::plops down on the couch, clutches pillows and cries:: Damn, Brendan, you're really doing a good job in this scene.> Mi: Because there are things inside of me that I didn't want people to see. <::crying unabashedly:: What *sniffle* didn't you *sniffle, hiccup* want *hiccup, cough, woops, coughing fit* her to *sniffle* see? > There's things inside of me that I'm not so proud of. <::blowing nose into hankie:: I *hiccup* am proud of you, Michael. I'll always *sniffle* be proud of you. ::tries to throw arms around Michael and hugs the side of TV instead::> But I've thought about it and I want you to see me. <::craaaaassshhhh:: That sound you just heard is the last remnants of Michael's stonewall ... it's crumbled to dust. Yup, it's gone, it's history ... say bye-bye to the wall now, people!> Take my hands. Maria gets flashes of Michael as a little kid <Awwww, I always liked Little Mikey>, leaving the pod, fighting with Hank <Get away from him, you already deceased-by-way-of-Nasedo's-hand bastard!>, finding Max and Isabel in the desert, and then flashes of their time together. <If there was ever any doubt that I loved M&M, these flashes quelled them.> M: Michael... <*sigh* That's his name alright.> Mi: There's something I have to tell... <You left your bike double-parked outside? Uh, no, that's not it. I know. You loooove her. C'mon, say it, Michael. You can do it.> Maria kisses Michael, interrupting him. <Awwww, nuts. She's always interrupting him. But in a good way, you know?> <> <The following sentence has permanently fried the portion of my brain labeled with the ability to think clearly.> Maria and Michael are lying in bed together. M: I think we just took a huge step in human-alien relations. <Hallelujah! Candy gods and goddesses, I kiss your feet. I bow down low to your greatness. I worship at the altar of your Candiness. I The nookie train has just pulled in! And it blew its top *giggle* rather convincingly.> I love you, Michael. <You know, that's the first time she's ever said it that plainly. And yes, the wait was worth it.> Mi: I love you too <*sniffle* The next sounds you will hear are the ramblings of my ghost. Because I just died of overt happiness.>... but I have to leave. <And my ghost just dropped to the floor in heap of WhatjutalkinboutWillis?> Max, Isabel, and Tess and I are going home. <La la la la la la, my ghost doesn't hear you. She forgot her hearing aid and is simply hearing showtunes that go La la la la la la la.> M: Yeah, I know. Like eventually, right? <No, like ... never! My ghost thinks never is a good time.> Mi: We're leaving in a few hours. <Damn hearing aids. Their warranties never last. My ghost could have sworn she heard Michael was leaving. ::pounds hearing aid on wooden table:: Damn thing. Where are the show tunes when you need them?> We have to, I have no choice. <Of course, you do. This is America. Land of choice ... and battered hearing aids.> I don't want to leave you. <Awwwwww, dammit my ghost can't take this angsty happiness.> But we both knew someday this would happen. <Wait, we knew the hearing aid was going to falter?> M: How much time do we have? <Well, the warranty on the thing says "guaranteed never to fail" but it's supposed to have all the time in the world but ... awwww nuts, you're really letting him go?> Mi: About an hour. <You mean like Lenscrafters? Wait, the ghost mixed up the physical aids.> HOME ROSWELL TRANSCRIPTS ROSWELL |