Fan Fiction
TITLE: Family
AUTHOR: Karen
RATING: PG-13
CODES: P/T, J/C
SUMMARY: An unseen moment shared between Chakotay & B'Elanna shortly after Miral's birth.
As I look up, he seems to fill the space above me. He’s smiling, as he reaches down, and gently brushes the loose hair back from my face, his thumb seeming to caress my cheek as he does. I don’t know why, but I tilt my face into his hand. He pauses, and for a brief second, he looks at me, and then almost, as if it were the most natural thing in universe, he takes my hand in his, and brings it to his lips. His lips are just as I imagined, soft and warm.
He’s leaning on the bed, supporting his weight on one hand; he’s so close now that I can smell him, and his cologne snaps my mind back …to the first time I met him. Every time I saw him back then, it was like getting a punch in the stomach; before I’d scoffed at friends who talked of falling in love at first sight – but I became one of them. . Nothing came of it of course; he was with Seska then, and I didn’t stand a chance. It was so easy to fall in love with him.
I never told him, but it must have been obvious, because the crew used to tease me about it and to my dismay, I blushed every time they did. Being this close to him brings back the memories, the dreams, about him - about us.
It’s embarrassing now, to think I once thought of him as a lover. He became more than that; he’s my best friend, and he always will be. We rarely show each other affection, but today - today is different. I knew as soon as he could get away, he’d come.
“Commander Chakotay, please.”
The Doctor’s voice rings out, chastising him for leaning on the bed.
He moves swiftly back to the chair, and as I glance over, I catch his eye, and he winks. The Doctor leaves, still muttering under his breath about no one ever listening to him. But the look on Chakotay’s face is too much, and we both start to laugh. He’s stopped but I’m still laughing, almost too loudly and I can’t stop.
It’s such a release – we’re all okay, we’ve made it.
I can see the concern flash across his face; am I hysterical? After all, we’ve been through, I’ve always thought someone should be, but I never expected it to be me. I …I need…to stop crying, but I can’t…and then he’s there, catching my flaying hand in his, pulling me toward the safety of his arms and I’m safe.
My head is on his shoulder, my fingers clutching at the back of his shirt. All the while, as he’s holding me, his soft voice is whispering.
“It’s okay B’Elanna, you’re okay, you’re fine. Tom’s on his way.”
It’s been such a long hard week.
First Admiral Janeway arrived with news about a way back to the Alpha quadrant, the Borg.
It’s all been too much.
Chakotay turns as Tom runs in, but I’m feeling better now. Chakotay stands up and gently releases my hands from his shirt. As he looks at me, I smile ruefully, and he winks again - I’m okay.
At the look of concern on Tom’s face, I start to cry again, but this time from happiness. He knows I’m fine now, and sits next to me, saying nothing, just holding my hand. Chakotay moves away, not wanting to intrude, but not too far.
I think I scared him.
Movement just outside the screen causes us all to look, and I happen to be looking at his face when he first catches sight of her with the Doctor. It’s then I know what we’ve all only hoped; it’s true – he does love her. I know that look, because I see it every time Tom looks at me.
As the Doctor approaches, I stop crying and I reach for Tom’s other hand.
It still seems almost surreal that we have a baby.
The Captain is waiting outside the screen; the Doctor has, it seems, carried out his threat of, “only two visitors at a time.” Chakotay steps outside to speak to her.
After a few moments, she smiles and nods and before leaving places her hand on his chest, as I’ve seen her do a hundred times before. Now I’m seeing it from a different perspective. He briefly covers her hand with his. I want him to be as happy as Tom and I are – maybe one day to have a family. The Doctor leaves us alone with our daughter and goes outside to speak with Chakotay. After a few minutes, I gesture to him to come in to see my daughter.
He looks down at her asleep in my arms, and then places a light kiss on her head. His eyes lock with mine, and I can see how much this means to him, as he struggles to speak.
“She’s beautiful, very beautiful, just like her mother.” Just then, she cries, “and just as loud.”
The tenderness I hear in his voice makes me start to cry yet again. Tom fusses around me, plumping pillows - he’s almost crying too. I catch his eye and know he understands. Chakotay and I are closer than family, and he means a lot to me.
I’m tired; the birth was harder than I imagined, but the reward is priceless. Tom is going to speak to his parents, and then maybe get some sleep.
As he starts to leave, Chakotay follows, but Tom reaches out his hand, stopping him. And for the millionth time today, I know why I love him so.
“Chakotay, I have to go and tell my parents they have a beautiful granddaughter, but that’s no reason for you to leave too. In fact, I’d feel better if you would stay here and keep an eye on them for me.”
For years, the two men in my life have kept each other at arm’s length; I’ve never asked either of them to change that. But today, my husband has gone beyond anything I could have hoped for, and Chakotay has reached out just as far.
“I’d be happy to, Tom, and thank you.”
Tom and Miral are my family now, but Chakotay will always be a part of it as well. I just need to close my eyes for a moment.
I open my eyes and it’s dark.
How long have I’ve been asleep? Where is everyone? As my eyes become accustomed to the dark, I can see Chakotay settled in the easy chair opposite, my daughter against his chest. I lie still for a moment before speaking, hoping I am not going to be this emotional all through my daughter’s life. Someone has just come in and although I can’t see, her scent tells me it’s the Captain. They are whispering, but I can just hear them.
“Is she asleep?”
“Yes, and hopefully Tom is too. I was just going to tell this little one another story, I think she likes them.”
“Well, all I can say, then, is she has excellent taste. What story were you going to tell her?”
“I’m not sure, but I thought…”
“Tuvok to Janeway” Tuvoks voice seems loud, and I can imagine the annoyance on the Captain’s face as she whispers.
“Yes Tuvok, on my way.” She sighs, and I can see her outline reach down and stroke my daughters head; she dips, placing a soft kiss on her head.
“Sorry, I have to go. I told Tuvok to contact me when the Federation contacted us. No, Chakotay, stay here, it’s not that important. I’ll let you know later.”
“Thanks, I promised Tom I’d watch them.”
“See you later, don’t forget the story.”
I can see her moving away, and again I close my eyes for a moment.
That’s why I’m sitting here crying. Not, as Tom thinks, because we’re home, well that too, but mostly because last night as I lay there, unable to get back off to sleep. I listened while my best friend told my daughter a story – an ancient legend, about tomatoes and angry warriors.
One day I may tell Tom the story, but not, yet; for now I’ll keep it a secret. Because last night the Captain came back, and in the early hours I heard my best friend ask Kathryn to marry him. And she said yes.
Damn, I’m crying again. We’re home.
