Title: Mangos, Toast, and Tears
Chapter 4
Later that afternoon
Mac’s office
JAG headquarters
Not sure what he was going to say to Mac, Harm ventured over to her office anyway.
Knocking lightly, “Got a minute?”
“Yeah, sure.” Mac closed a few files that lay open on her desk. “What’s on your mind?”
“Feeling a little restless. How would you like to come with me to try out that new Italian restaurant they opened near the park?”
“Sounds delicious, could I have a raincheck?”
“Sure, got other plans?” ‘Probably telling papa the good news,’ he thought.
“It’s been a busy week. I’m really tired. I thought I’d ask the Admiral if I could secure early and go home and crawl into bed with a good book. Maybe even a nice glass of milk with some chocolate chip cookies.” Her face practically glowed when she mentioned the part about the cookies.
‘Mangos, toast, tears, and tired too.’ Harm considered throwing up himself. Instead he prodded further. “No Webb?”
“No.” The chocolate chip glow was immediately replaced with a downward glance.
“Alright, let me know if you change your mind.” Pausing a moment at the door, he turned and walked back into her office.
“Ever wonder what things would be like now if you’d had children with Chris?”
“Uh, No.” Of all the things she would expect Harm to contemplate standing in her doorway, this was definitely not one of them.
“I just wondered, if you’d had children with, Chris, or Dalton, or Brumby or even Webb, you do know I would be happy to help with babysitting and ….stuff?”
Surprised by the absurdity of the comment, Mac didn’t quite know what to say.
“I’d have gladly helped with Lamaze classes if the Dad couldn’t, or wouldn’t, be there. I mean knowing I wasn’t the father, well, couldn’t be the father. Not that I couldn’t be A father, just not THAT father. Anyway, the point is, I’d still be there for you.” Harm stopped to catch his breath.
“Harmon Rabb what on earth are you babbling about?” Mac was cross-eyed trying to comprehend the course of his ramblings.
“I’m just saying if you already had kids when we met, or even if you had them after we met, I want to make sure you know, you could always count on me as your friend to be there. That’s all.”
“I know Harm, you told me all this in the car the other day, remember?” Seeing the defeated look in his eyes, she quickly added, “If it helps any, same thing goes for me.”
Watching him head back to his office, she shook her head, smiling at him warmly. ‘He definitely needs a vacation’, she thought. ‘ A girl would be better, but a vacation would help.’
Returning to his office, Harm struggled with his own thoughts. “That weasley, conniving, no good, son of a bi…”
“I beg your pardon?”
Looking up from his little tirade, Harm found himself standing toe to toe with Admiral Chegwidden.
“Sorry sir, lost in thought.”
The Admiral chuckled to himself on his way to the break room, ‘I wonder what Webb did this time?’
Stopping in his tracks, AJ looked over in the direction of Colonel MacKenzie’s office. His fists instantly clenched up in a ball at his sides. His real daughter Francesca, might live 5,000 miles away, but Sarah MacKenzie was just down the hall. If Clayton Webb had done anything to hurt Mac, the Admiral wanted first dibs. Harmon Rabb would simply have to wait his turn.
Relaxing his hands, he shook his head and smiled, ‘Webb wouldn’t dare.’
Following Day
JAG Headquarters
Harm spent the next day paying particular attention to Mac.
Break room
0900
“Don’t you think we drink too much coffee?”
“NO,” a grouchy marine replied, reaching for the sugar.
“Decaf tea would be much better for us.” Harm tried not to look at Mac.
“Okay- let’s get the ground rules straight- you eat rabbit food, I like dead cow. You want decaf tea – have at it. I drink coffee. REAL coffee.” Mac patted the coffee pot and stormed out of the break room.
‘Oh that went well.’ Harm rolled his eyes, sighing heavily.
A few hours later, Harm spotted Mac carrying a box of files to the courtroom.
Lunging at her to grab the box, “Why isn’t someone carrying these for you?” Harm said in exasperation.
Pulling the box back from Harm. “I’m not helpless Harm, I can do this.” Her irritation with Harm was obvious.
Thinking as quickly as he could. Harm, gently took the box back. “I know you can, but you’re a Colonel in the Marine Corps, not a file clerk. You shouldn’t have to be carrying these boxes around.”
Mac wasn’t all too convinced that Harm hadn’t completely lost his mind.
“Well, sometimes being a lawyer involves carrying boxes. But thanks for the concern anyway. Just set the box on the table there.” Mac pointed to the defense table.
“I’ll make sure someone comes to get these when court is over.” Before Mac could argue, Harm turned heading quickly out the door.
‘Never mind vacation, definitely needs a woman,’ she thought.
Mac’s office
1600 hours
“Has Harriet mentioned anything to you yet?” Harm inquired.
“About the new baby, yeah. She’d better hurry up and tell the Admiral before the entire building knows,” Mac smiled.
Admiring her smile, “It’s nice news isn’t it?”
“Harriet having a baby, of course it is.”
“Anyone having a baby is nice news.” He was still smiling but unable to look her in the eye.
This was the second time in two days that Harm was in her office talking babies and Mac couldn’t quite put her finger on what was wrong, but she was sure something wasn’t right.
‘I smell a rat. I know. I bet he’s panicking again about our deal. It’s right around the corner now, and... Oh God, it’s right around the corner!’ She grabbed hold of the edge of the desk to steady herself. All color drained from her face.
At Mac’s sudden loss of color, Harm rushed closer. “You okay marine?” Quickly running symptoms of pregnancy through his head searching for dizziness.
“Yeah, just… lost my balance is all.” Mac slowly released the death grip on her desk.
‘Sitting down she lost her balance, right. I must look really stupid.’ Harm smiled anyway, refocusing on his original mission.
“Have you tried one of these lemon drops?” Harm asked popping one into his mouth. “They’re pretty good. Harriet keeps them around to help with morning sickness. Want to try one?” He leaned the bag in her direction.
“Sure.” Taking one of the proffered candies, “you’re right, they’re pretty good,” she smiled up at him.
“Up to trying that new restaurant tonight,” Harm pressed on.
“What about Mattie, don’t you usually like to have dinner together?”
“She’s shooting a video for an english project. They’ve been working every night at Janet’s house. Her mom feeds the whole brood. So what do you say?” Harm hoped she wouldn’t turn him down again tonight.
“I think I’d rather stay in,” his disappointment obvious, “you want to do take out at my place?” she offered.
“Works for me. Got a preference?” Relieved, he couldn’t hold back a satisfied grin.
“Well, pizza’s Italian. We can order pizza then you won’t have to stop and pick any thing up. How about 1830?”
“1830 it is.” Leaning over, he plopped the bag of lemon drops on her desk. “Here, keep the bag.” Pleased with himself, he left for his own office. ‘Mission accomplished.’
Chapter 5
Later that evening
Mac’s apartment
Georgetown
“Well, well. Right on time. Getting old must be agreeing with you.” Mac teased.
“Wait till YOU’RE almost 40, pay back is hell marine.” Harm loved how they’d grown closer again since Christmas. It was nice feeling comfortable enough to return to the old banter. He had missed that so over the last year.
“I’ve already ordered the pizza, half and half, standard issue.” Mac explained as she pulled some dishes from the cabinet. “What would you like to drink?” she asked.
“Water will be fine. Trying to stay away from the calories in pop or beer.” It worked with the lemon drops. He hoped, maybe this would be a better approach than the coffee.
Harm was delighted to see Mac eating the pizza with her usual enthusiasm.
“Mac, how come you didn’t get meat lovers on your half, just extra cheese?” Harm was a little curious.
Hesitant to respond, Mac paused, finally resigned, she answered, “Well, meat hasn’t been sitting well with me lately so I thought I’d just do extra cheese tonight.”
Mac was relieved Harm didn’t take this opportunity to tease her. She had avoided mentioning her bout with meat for fear of his reaction. Maybe she underestimated her squid. Then again, hmn.
Finished with dinner, Harm walked over by the tv in the living room. “Do you want to see what’s on tv, watch a movie, or should I just leave the stereo on?”
Cleaning up the last of the mess in the kitchen, Mac popped her head out the doorway, “I think music would be nice.”
Harm picked out a cd with a combination of Jazz musicians. Something light, relaxing would work. Sitting down on the sofa, he watched Mac walk in and sit down beside him.
“You look beat.” Knowing Mac, she was already probably pushing herself too hard.
“Why don’t you sit here.” Harm threw a cushion on the floor by his feet. “Let me rub some of that stress out.”
“Don’t have to ask this marine twice.” Mac moved enthusiastically to the comfy cushion. She nestled between his legs, sighing in perfect contentment.
Mac sat there like a rag doll. All the tension from the previous weeks had slowly rolled away under the skillful fingers of one Harmon Rabb Jr. Harm gently swirled his fingers around her neck, across her shoulders, and down her shoulder blades. He mixed hard and easy pressure with soft and deep caresses. Mac was basically melting at his touch. Her mind couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to let his fingers roam wherever they wanted. Wherever SHE wanted. She let out a deep sigh.
“You okay? Am I pressing too hard?” He wasn’t quite sure how to interpret her sigh.
“No, this is heaven.” Her head hung low, rolling back and forth at the will of Harm’s fingers.
“You should ask Clay to do this for you.” Harm couldn’t think of any other way to bring him up.
Mac’s shoulders tensed slightly even under Harm’s masterful touch.
“Things not going well?”
“Things are not going.” At Harm’s continued ministrations, Mac was returning to her earlier limp state.
‘If that s.o.b. is giving her a hard time about this baby, I will personally see to it he’s drawn and quartered.’ Harm had to make a conscious effort not to take out his irritation with Webb on Mac’s soft shoulders.
Not quite sure how to get the information he wanted without giving away how much he already knew, “Hit a rough patch?” He asked nonchalantly.
“You can’t hit a rough patch unless you have a smooth one first. We shared an intense experience, but you can’t build a relationship on that.”
“Webb has other good qualities to build a relationship on.” Harm had to work really hard not to choke when he said that.
“I’m too old and too tired to waste my time trying to make something out of nothing. We’ll always be friends, but there’s nothing else there.” She was starting to feel really agitated despite Harm’s best efforts to keep her relaxed.
“When two people create something special, it’s worth the effort to continue to build the relationship.” Harm wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up. What he really wanted was to ring Webb’s scrawny little neck.
Completely confused, and a little ticked off, Mac pulled away from Harm and turned to look at him.
“What the hell has come over you? For months you have had nothing but snide remarks to make about Webb and me, and NOW you think we’ve created something special! You wouldn’t recognize something special if it were painted on the broad side of a barn!”
“I want what’s best for you, especially now.” Harm tried to control his tone, he was starting to accept he was going to have to tell her he knew about the baby, and although he wished otherwise, a baby needs his father.
That was it. Mac stood up and pranced across the room to no place in particular. Turning back to face Harm, she waved both arms at him. “You think Webb is best for me?”
“Maybe now, yeah.” Harm tried to sound more convinced than he actually was.
Rubbing her hands through her hair, she started to speak. A low growl was all that came out. Taking a deep breath to regroup, Mac sat down on the chair across from Harm.
“Something is going on, and you’re going to tell me what it is. I know I told you Clay and I didn’t have a relationship- we had one night. Remember you convinced me THAT wasn’t being a whore? SO what is all this he’s a jolly good fellow BS about?”
“I know, Mac.” He looked down suddenly very interested in the cushion Mac had been sitting on.
“You know what?”
“I know about the baby.” Harm looked her in the eye this time.
“What baby?” Mac had gone from very angry to very confused.
“Yours.” Taking a deep breath, “and Webb’s.” He was still staring into her eyes, unsure of what they were saying.
Mac raised her hand pointing at Harm a couple of times as if she were about to say something.
Harm didn’t know what to make of her silence. “Mac, say something.”
“Sure.” She paused another moment. “I have no earthly idea what you are talking about. I’m just sitting here trying to figure out if there’s some reason you should know something I don’t know- and I can’t come up with a single thing that makes any sense.”
“What’s so difficult to understand. I know you’re pregnant and I know Webb’s the father.”
CHAPTER 6
Harm saw Mac’s shoulders start to shake and braced himself for the shower of tears. What he hadn’t expected was the rip-roaring laughter that came out of Sarah MacKenzie.
“Where did you ever get a crazy idea like that?” She asked as she wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks. “If you wanted to give me a good laugh, you’ve out done yourself.” She couldn’t seem to stop laughing.
Harm felt slightly elated at the possibility that maybe he had made a mistake. But what about all the symptoms?
“I was talking to Harriet.” He started.
“Harriet told you I was pregnant?” she interrupted, stifling a laugh.
“No, she mentioned she craved pomegranates when she was pregnant with Jimmy.”
“And why did you think her craving pomegranates meant I was pregnant?” Mac was trying to regain her composure.
“Because you wanted Mangos.”
“They’re a natural diuretic, I wanted to clean out my system.” Wiping a few stray tears from the corner of her eyes, she settled down a little more.
“You weren’t eating much, you said your stomach was unsettled. Then, on the road to Norfolk, you wouldn’t eat the roast beef you wanted toast. Harriet said she was eating toast to help with her morning sickness.”
“Harm, most of the world’s population eats toast and they’re not pregnant. If you must know, I wasn’t eating much because my stomach was revolting on me for having steak tartar at Chez Gerard’s with Clayton Thursday night. Just looking at meat for the next few days was enough to make me seasick. I wanted the Mangos to help clean me out.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” Harm looked truly hurt.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hear one of your lectures on my love of dead cow!
Besides, how was I supposed to know you’d jump to the erroneous conclusion I was pregnant.”
A look of revelation suddenly flashed across Harm’s face. “That’s why you got so mad at the coffee machine and hollered at me about dead cow and rabbit food.” Harm was finally starting to get a clearer picture. He wasn’t too thrilled with what he was seeing either. He didn’t like making a fool of himself, and he now recognized this time, he may very well have outdone himself.
Still not completely convinced, “what about all the tears and being tired?” He asked, hoping she’d shoot these down as well.
“I was disappointed! Don’t tell me you’ve never been disappointed?” She was practically shouting at him.
“Not to the point of tears at the office- twice. No.” He pointedly glared at her.
“Well, I was VERY disappointed. After all that happened with Sadik and Clay, I was really looking forward to spending some time with someone who really loved me for me, no strings. It probably didn’t help any that it was that time of the month too. Which by the way is only one of the reasons I KNOW I’m not pregnant.”
“I TOLD Harriet you guys need to put stickers somewhere!” Harm confidently proclaimed with an ‘I told you so’ look on his face.
“Stickers?” That look of utter confusion had returned to Mac’s face.
“Harriet said she was crying because of hormones. Before I knew she was pregnant, I told her women should put stickers on their foreheads warning men, ‘that time of the month- steer clear.’ Once again he looked down in case this tid bit of information wasn’t well received. To his relief, it only made Mac laugh again.
“This is what all that talk about babysitting and Lamaze was about wasn’t it?” All humor left Mac’s tone as she spoke. “You didn’t think Clay would be around to help?”
“I knew with his job that might be tough.” Harm tried to read the look in Mac’s eyes.
Shaking her head, “Harmon Rabb, I don’t know if I want to kiss you for caring, or kill you for being such an idiot.” Mac smiled broadly.
“If I have a say, I’d prefer the kiss.” He flashed his flyboy grin.
Mac stood up and walked over to the sofa. Leaning down she kissed him gently on the forehead before sitting down next to him.
Placing her hand on his thigh, she squeezed it gently. “Thank you for caring.”
“Anytime.” Harm covered the delicate hand that was now resting on his leg with his own.
Chuckling slightly, “next time you get the idea I might be pregnant, talk to me first. Okay?” Mac raised her eyebrows emphasizing the request.
“Yeah, okay. There is one thing though I still don’t get.” Harm frowned with curiosity.
“Why did you get so dizzy that you had to grab the desk for stability? I mean, you grabbed it with such force, your knuckles turned white.”
“OOH, THAT.” She took a deep breath.
CHAPTER 7
“I was startled by something I’d forgotten.” She stood up and walked towards the kitchen. “I think I’m going to make some tea, want a cup?”
“Sure.” He got up and followed her. “Must have been something pretty awful to unsettle you that much.”
“Actually,” she smiled, “it’s something I’ve looked forward to.”
“Oh.” He wasn’t really paying attention to what she had said, he was following his own train of thoughts.” He reached up into the cabinet and pulled out two mugs.
“What you said before, about Chloe.” He turned to look at Mac a moment before reaching into the refrigerator for some milk.
“What?” Mac asked placing a tea bag in each cup.
“For the record, she’s not the only one who loves you for you, no strings.” He placed the milk on the counter, watching her dip the tea bag in the mug.
She poured the milk and sugar into their mugs, momentarily stirring each cup. Turning to look up at Harm, she handed him his mug. “I guess you were right, I’ll always have someone who loves me.”
“Always, Mac, always.” He said, accepting the proffered mug.
She headed back to the sofa. Only a few steps behind her, Harm settled in the seat next to her.
Setting the mug on the coffee table, Mac turned slightly to face Harm.
“You really meant what you said about babysitting and Lamaze classes didn’t you?”
Harm just nodded his head in assent.
“Probably, labor and delivery too?”
“If you wanted me there, yes.” He set his tea down beside hers.
“Even if you weren’t the father?” She searched his eyes for an indication of what he might be feeling. She thought she saw a small flicker of pain.
“You’re all that matters, Mac.” Harm noticed her fidgeting with her fingers. He reached over to softly stroke her leg, much the way he might sooth an upset child.
“You know next month is AJ’s birthday.” She commented timidly.
Still trying to read his eyes, she saw when recognition hit him.
“He’ll be five.” Harm answered with a smile.
“Mmn,” Mac bit back the grin that wanted to spread the width of her face.
“We had a deal.” He said softly.
She placed her right hand on the hand that was still gently caressing her leg.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to go through with it, I’ll understand.”
Before he could say anything she put her left hand up to his lips to stop him and continued.
“But if you still think it’s a good idea, I would very much like my best friend to be the father of my children.” She said dropping her left hand to her lap, her other hand still holding his.
Harm watched his thumb now softly caressing her hand, amazed at how small and delicate it looked buried under his much stronger hand. Thoughts briefly passed through his mind of how much he wanted to cover and protect her, to stroke and caress away all her cares.
“So there really is no Clay?” He had to make sure.
“No Clay.” She needed him to believe her.
“It could get complicated.” He still wanted to make sure.
“If we can survive the last eight years, how complicated can a little baby be?” She replied, encouraged he was considering going through with his promise.
“I was thinking more about the admiral.” Harm held back a chuckle.
“Okay, there might be a few wrinkles.” She shrugged a shoulder, no longer holding back her grin.
Harm pulled Mac a little closer and draped his arm around her.
“You really want to do this?” Harm asked his flyboy grin brighter then ever.
“Yeah, I think we can do it. I think we can make it work Harm.” She was amazed to discover, now that they were discussing this openly, she really and truly, almost desperately, wanted to do this.
She was so beautiful, grinning like a Cheshire cat. How he wanted to make her smile like that for the rest of her life. His thoughts returned to wanting to care for her, to protect her. His eyes focused on her soft lips still grinning sweetly. How he craved to taste the sweetness of those lips. Those soft, sweet, delicate…
His mouth, slowly, almost timidly, descended on hers. When she placed her arm around his neck, his emotions burst through like Old Faithful. He pulled her closer to him, pressing his lips against hers, paying each lip slow, delicate attention. The tip of his tongue lightly grazing, caressing each lip, longing for more.
His tongue teasing her lips was almost too much for her, instinctively her lips parted slightly, giving him the access he was so skillfully requesting.
She tasted so good. Her hands were drawing circles in the hairs at the base of his neck shooting rockets of desire through his system. He’d wanted Sarah MacKenzie for so long, he desperately wanted her now. He slipped his hand under her shirt. Mac gasped releasing her hold on Harm’s lips when the warmth of his hands glided across the bare skin of her back.
That small sound was enough to snap Harm to his senses. As much as he wanted Mac, Sarah, he needed to slow things down. They had a lot to work out and it was better to do this before they started working on that baby.
Pulling back slightly, Harm kissed the tip of Mac’s nose.
Trying desperately to control his breathing, he managed to squeak out, “you’re one hell of a kisser, marine.”
Laying her head down, Mac stifled a laugh in his shoulder.
“What, may I ask, is so funny now?” Harm asked, wondering what he was missing.
“Nothing.” She kept her face buried in his shoulder.
Pulling back to arm’s length Harm lifted Mac’s chin with his finger.
“What- spill it.”
Hesitating, Mac blushed several shades of red before opening her mouth. “I just realized this baby deal is going to be more fun than I, uhh , well expected.”
Processing the information Mac had just shared, Harm turned a bright shade of crimson himself. “Oh.”
Reaching forward for his now cold cup of tea, Harm put a little more distance between himself and Mac.
“As much as I’d like to finish what we started,” he cleared the lump in his throat, “there are a few things we probably need to talk about.”
Looking carefully at her eyes to make sure she didn’t think he was rejecting her again. Not that he ever got that right before. He was pretty sure the way the corners of her mouth were still tilting north, at least she didn’t doubt he wanted her.
“There’s a lot more to going halves on a kid than just having a baby? At least, I’d like there to be.” Harm started.
Hesitating a moment he searched for the right words. Unconsciously, his hand returned to caressing her thigh while he thought. Mac waited patiently, crossing her toes.
“What I’m saying is, I’d like to be more than just a Lamaze coach and babysitter. I’m not sure I could do the weekend Dad thing.”
He could feel her stiffening at his words. He took another deep breath.
“I would like to try and have this baby the old fashioned way.” Harm immediately felt the tension melt away, as Mac’s body returned to it’s previously relaxed state.
“I thought the last few minutes made it pretty clear you’re not going to get any arguments from me about that.” Mac said reaching over to affectionately stroke Harm’s leg.
“No, that’s not what I meant.” Harm tried not to blush. “I mean the really old fashioned way. A mom, a dad, a house, a dog, and,” He looked her straight in the eye, “a marriage license.”
Mac sat there frozen. She didn’t know whether she should scream God YES, or run like hell for fear that one day he’d hate her for trapping him.
Not sure what to make of her silence. Harm tried to persuade the jury of one.
“You may not love me as much as I love you, but I promise I will never force you to...”
“What do you mean as much as you love me?” A flicker of hope had sparked deep in the pit of Mac’s stomach.
“I love you, I always have. I don’t mean just as a friend. I will always love you as friend if that’s all you want from me. I’ve never been able to make it work with any other woman, because you’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. When I told you any man in his right mind would give up all he owned to have your love and respect. I was talking from experience.”
Mac’s eyes were as wide as saucers, her mouth was practically dragging on the floor, and for the life of him, Harm had no idea if that was a good or bad thing.
“I think if you give me a chance, I can get it right this time and make you happy. I’d like to try.” Harm reached over to squeeze her hand.
Before he had the chance, Mac flung herself at him, knocking him over so he was flat on his back. She squeezed him so tight, had he been a fruit, he’d be juice.
“Does this mean yes?” He hoped.
“It means I love you, you big oaf!” Her lips came crashing down on his with an intensity that knocked all common sense out the window. Instantly all the desires he had so efficiently suppressed, reared their powerful head. Her full weight sprawled across his body made hiding his reaction almost impossible.
Somewhere in the fog of his passionate frenzy, comprehension of what Mac had just said flashed through his brain like a neon sign.
Flipping her over, he held his weight slightly above her. “Then you’ll marry me?” he grinned.
“Uh huh.” She nodded.
“Soon?” His eyes twinkled at her.
“Very soon.” She licked her lips.
“Maybe by AJ’s birthday?” He knew he was pushing his luck.
“So we can start on that baby, or is your heart really set on a dog?” She almost giggled, except marines don’t giggle.
“I want it all. You, the dog, the baby, lots of babies.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips.
“Okay.” Returning his quick kiss. “Lots and lots of babies.” She wrapped her arms around him.
Settling a little more of his weight on her, he raised his eyebrows. “Maybe we better start practicing.”
“Lots.” Mac pulled him in for a real kiss, and another, and another and……
So they lived happily ever after. Harmon and Sarah Rabb, their children Beth, Matt, the twins David and Spencer, an additional little surprise, Cathy, a German Shepherd named Contesa, a parakeet named Pierre, a cat named Peaches, and one surrogate grandfather: Retired Rear Admiral Albert Jethro Chegwidden.
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