by Sailor Lily
posted December 2000
“Come in.”-replied Setsuna over the book she was reading silently on the couch. In ran Mina, Rei and Lita talking excitedly at the same time. Setsuna looked at their happy faces and said, “What’s going on? Why so excited?”
“We’re going...a trip to Earth! Isn’t it great?”-said Mina thrilled.
“Yeah, we’re all going to Earth for at least a year.”-continued Lita with a huge smile.
“When? Why?”-asked Setsuna not yet grasping the reality of a trip to Earth.
“We’ll be leaving tomorrow after breakfast.” answered Rei happily. “According to Luna, Endymion asked permission to go and Queen Serenity agreed. She wants us to go with him to become familiar with that planet since it’s so...diverse.”
A step was heard, and they glanced towards the open door. Endymion was standing there, and said, “Well, I take it you’ve heard.” Setsuna smiled at him and nodded. Rei went over to him saying, “Yeah, we told her, and we owe you the honor of going.” Then, Lita and Mina went to him, kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for asking the Queen. As the two girls left the room, Rei held on to his arm while looking up at him adoringly.
“Thank you Endymion, you’re the best.”- she said, then kissed his cheek and left.
“I think you have a fan club,” -teased Setsuna laughing. “and if I’m not mistaking, I think Rei is the leader.”
He smiled saying, “ It may be so, but Rei is not the one that caught my interest. She’s like a younger sister to me.”
“Well, be gentle with her, she’s young.”-she warned. “But come, sit down and tell me who you’re really interested in.”
“You really don’t know?”-he asked while taking the a chair and sitting in front of where she was sitting.
“No, not really, You’re a really big flirt and we all know it. But tell me, do I know her?”
“Yes, you know her.”
“Okay, that was a stupid question since I know all of them. How well do I know her?”
“Really, really well.”
“What do you like about her?”
“She’s smart, kind, likes to study, is really beautiful, loves everyone, and has alot of talent.”-he said while taking her soft hands.
She pretended not to notice, and said, “I think I know who it is. It’s Michiru, right?”
He smiled at how naive she was, “Wrong, its not Michiru, she’s too...shy.”
“Well, I thought it was her since she’s kind tempered, beautiful, and cares for others."
“I have to admit that she does have those qualities. All of the girls are wonderful, but to me they are children,”-he leaned closer to her whispering. “and can’t compare to you. You are the one that makes me nervous, happy, and I've always loved.”
Setsuna didn’t know what to say. <Yes, he had told me various times before that he though he loved me, but I though he was just teasing. It must be a product of my imagination, ...or our imagination.> He pulled away from her, confused by not getting the desired response her has dreamed about. He had dreamed about this moment so long and now that it was here, he was disapointed to find she hadn't thrown her arms around him, telling him that she felt the same way.
But things didn’t happen that way, so he stood up and began to walk towards the door. Setsuna just couldn’t bear to see him hurt.
“Please wait, Endymion. You...you can’t possibly be interested in me.”
“Why not? Is there a rule saying you can’t be loved by me?”-he asked impatiently without turning around to face her.
“Endymion, you know me, I’m so impulsive. Look, you remember what I did to my hair a couple of months ago. You remember don’t you?”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“You said that the person you love is kind and gentle. I’m not like that. I’m impulsive, and ...ill-tempered. You know what I mean, don’t you?”
He turned around to face her with the most serious look she had ever seen on him. “You are impulsive, and can be ill-tempered some times. But you don’t give yourself any credit for your endless number of good virtues. You are kind, gentle, and loving. You want to know how I know this?”
She looked at his blue eyes which had turned gray with emotion. She said nothing and he continued. “I know because I will always remember the night you let Hotaru and Michiru stay with you. You are wonderful to all of us, you just can’t see it.”
“Endymion...”-she said trying to make him understand something she couldn’t even comprehend.
“No, it’s all right. I’ll see you later.”-he disappeared out the door leaving her plenty to think about.
Beryl who was hiding next to her door heard everything. <Well, I guess I don’t need to bother with keeping them apart. It looks like Setsuna took good care of it.> She smiled and went away to her room. Nebula saw her walking away from Setsuna's room. Nebula hurried to Setsuna’s open bedroom door, and found her packing clothes impatiently.
“Setsuna, may I come in?”-she asked from the doorway, startling Setsuna.
“Yes, please come in.”-she answered grateful to see her there. “I was... I was just thinking about going to find you. I really need to talk with you.”
“Come, lets sit and you can tell me everything that’s bothering you.”
Setsuna couldn’t contain her anger any longer, and said, “I had an argument...with Endymion. He’s really hurt. But... I’m confused, I don’t know how I feel.”
Nebula wiped the clear drops that had escaped from Setsuna’s eyes saying, “Why? What happened?”
“He told me that he loves me, but ...I said that couldn’t be since he thinks me the best. He made me sound like a goddess, when in truth...I can hurt and make mistakes.”
“My dear, tell me, what do you feel for him?”
Setsuna closed her eyes tightly, and answered quietly. “I love him. I love him, but I don’t want him to see me as a goddess since he could be disappointed. I don’t want to hurt him, but... I don’t want to get hurt.”
“Oh, my poor Setsuna.”-soothed Nebula while hugging her. “It’s perfectly normal to be scared of being hurt. But if you can’t trust people you will end all alone, and trust me being alone is awful. But you must not be insecure about your feelings since he loves you too.”
“You’re right, I don’t want to lose him.”-she declared feeling a giant load go off her heart. “I won’t give up, I’ll fight for him.”
“Good then, now you know the path you must take, and trust the people your heart tells you. Your heart will never fail you. Agreed?”
“Agreed. Thank you for being here when I needed you. You have done as my mother would have, if she was here.”
Nebula smiled at Setsuna. She excused herself by saying that she had other thing to take care of. As Nebula left the room, she could fell the tears welling in her eyes, and all the emotion clogging her throat. <That was what I gave up when I sacrificed myself for Liba. I knew my sacrifice would be painful as time went on, but it seems so great right now. But I only have the consolation that I did it for love, and thanks to that sacrifice, beautiful Setsuna came to be born.>
*****************************************
Setsuna had skipped dinner to finish packing for their trip to Earth. After that, she took nap that was rather fitful since it was infested by things and events she didn’t understand. She woke up in the middle of the night very impatient. < I wonder what time it is, and if everyone went to bed. I really need to talk to Endymion right away, this can’t wait until tomorrow or else I won’t sleep.>
Setsuna got out of bed, and went out the door in her black silk pajamas. All the hallways looked dark, except for a couple of candles lighting the walls. <What time is it?>-she wondered as she was about to knock on his door. She finally knocked softly, and waited while hoping he would hear. Minutes passed. <Nothing, he’s probably sound asleep, and cares nothing about me anymore.> She turned to walk back to her room very disappointed, but she heard the door open behind her.
“Who’s there?”-he asked with a whisper. Setsuna turned to find him at his door in dark blue pajama. He couldn’t control feeling surprised to see her there, this late and at his door. “Setsuna? What are you doing up?”
“I really need to talk to you. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow, I thought it would be too late.”
“Well, right know it’s dark, which means it’s late.”-he whispered resentfully, but then relaxed at looking in her eyes. “But okay, do you want to come in?”
She didn’t answer his question, and simply entered the room nervously. He shut the door and leaned on it asking, “Well, what was so important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”
<He hasn’t been able to sleep, his bed is neatly made and without any wrinkles in it.> She turned to meet his accusing blue-gray eyes. “Are you very angry with me?”
He considered her question and answered bitterly. “Do you really care, or are you just being impulsive? Does it really matter?”
“Of course it matters!”-she exclaimed a little more loudly that she had intended. She adjusted her voice before continuing. “Darien, don’t be angry with me, and let me explain something.”
“I’m listening. I’m very interested in knowing what caused that reaction I wasn’t expecting.”
She swallowed through the knot that had formed in her throat. She then began, “I’m not perfect, and I make mistakes. I don’t want to hurt you, or disappoint you because I'm not what you expect. I... I love you, and I don’t want to be hurt because you suddenly realize... that you where wrong, and ...you made a mistake.”
They looked at each other, and finally he sympathetically smiled at her. He was glad to see her be totally honest, and understood how she felt. She walked over and took her warm hands in his.
“Endymion, please don’t be mad at me. You are my best friend,”- she declared shyly looking into his eyes. “I would feel strange without you.”
His eyes grew bluer by the second, since the gray from his internal storm had vanished with her honesty. He smiled and it illuminated his handsome features putting her fears at ease. He put his arms around her waist, picked her up, and spun her around. He whispered to her while she tried not to laugh too loud.
“I love you so much, and now that I know you feel the same, I feel like I could die a happy man. I’m very grateful you didn’t wait until morning to talk to me, or I wouldn’t have been able to sleep all night.”
“I knew you would want to know as soon as possible. Besides, I can’t stand to have people mad at me.”
Endymion walked with her in his arms, placed her delicately on his bed, and they lay down on his bed. They lay close together, and fell asleep for a little while. When she opened her eyes, she found Endymion awake and looking down at her lovingly. She saw the love in his eyes, and hated to think that she must leave.
“You’re gorgeous. I love you,...I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t wait to hear your fears. Can you forgive me?”-he asked while playing with her thick hair.
He put her soft palm on his cheek. “I have nothing to forgive. We love each other and that’s all that matters now.”
Setsuna lay there taking in the wonderful smell that surrounded them in bed. But as we all know all wonderful things must come to an end sooner or later. They finally go out of bed and walked together to the door. He hugged her and kissed her forehead. “Tomorrow, we will be at Earth together. I can’t wait.”
********************************************
<Earth. What a wonderful place this is, so full of life and beauty. So much beauty all around. I feel so calm, serene, and in love with life. In love with everything.> -she thought while trying to draw what she saw all around. Suddenly, voices broke her concentration.
“Serenity, you call that and ocean? It looks more like your tangled hair in the mornings!”
“Oh, shut up Rei, that’s not true! I look beautiful in the morning, you’re just jealous you can’t be more like me.”
“Of course not! Why would I want to be absent-minded and clumsy.”
<Well, its too bad not every one feels as serene as I do.> -thought Setsuna laughing silently. Haruka pointed to the two girls arguing, and rolled her eyes to show her impatience. Setsuna smiled at her and shrugged. By now, everyone was used to Rei and Serenity’s arguments, so they paid no attention to it. They continued concentrating on their drawings, and when she was done, she went to sit by Michiru and Hotaru.
“I don’t like my drawing.”-declared Setsuna looking at it. “What did you two draw?”
“I drew this wonderful purple flower, only a larger version. Endymion told me their called Iris, or something.”-answered Hotaru holding the sketch pad out to Setsuna.
“Its beautiful Hotaru, you’re getting better every day.”
“I drew the garden and the palace.” -answered Michiru while holding up the drawing for them to see. “How does it look?”
“Wow, that’s amazing!”-declared Endymion standing behind the girls. “You’re really good at this.”
“Yes, it’s very beautiful.”-said Hotaru nodding with a smile.
“How did you for that?”-asked Setsuna while comparing the drawing with the real thing. “You did every single detail, it’s so precise.”
Michiru blushed and answered shyly. “Thank you, I’m glad you liked it so much.”
Nebula told them to gather their things and go inside because it was too hot outside to continue. Everyone began to gather their things, while busily chatting away. Setsuna helped Hotaru gather her things, while Darien and Michiru talked about their art.
Since they had arrived at Earth a year ago, they had been learning new things. Art, and music where the two new subjects that Endymion’s parents taught them. The four that where enjoying the new classes most were Haruka, Michiru, Darien, and Setsuna.
Haruka had learned to play on an instrument called the piano and she was wonderfully talented. Michiru had learned to play on the violin, and could draw very exceptional things that captured her imagination. Setsuna had learned to play the harp, but had no true passion for it like the other two. Endymion just loved to listen to music, and be involved in the feeling that music brought to him. They often sat together in the living room making music together, and doing extraordinary at it. Then when they were done with their repertoire, they would go out to watch the sunset before dinner.
Life was great at Earth, and Setsuna wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. She often walked by herself to a meadow full of trees with golden leaves, and would sit there looking out to the endless ocean while the wind played around her. She would sit there with her harp close at hand, and played until she was taken to a world of her own. Her harp had the power to ride the wind, taking her away and into herself. It was the power that music had that made her hate it when she became guardian of the Gates of time, but that will come later.