by Sailor Lily
posted: 7-29-2002
“Princess Setsuna, the Queen is awaiting for you at the Throne Hall.”-announced a knight ready to escort her. “Please lead the way.” -she requested as she vowed her head with confusion at trying to remember the way. < I’m feeling a horrible feeling of disorientation: I wonder why?>
The young man opened the door leading her down shining hallways, and up endless, dark staircases that looked all the same to Setsuna. She felt so threatened, so lost, and scared since she had been out of the regular world for an amount of time she couldn’t even account for. Her mind was restless, calculating, guessing, plotting, crafting a way to learn how long it had been since the ‘incident’ that had cost her so much pain. < I wonder if the fall from the top of the palace damaged my ability to keep track of time. It’s simply crazy to think that I survived with no damage, except for the loss of my love. Oh, why do I still feel like crying when I think of my Endymion? Nothing is going to bring him back; not my sea of tears, or my own death can bring him to me.>
“My Lady, we have arrived.” -he announced before proceeding to open the door for her. Setsuna thanked him as she set foot in the Throne Hall, and when she entered she was able to recognize all the faces gathered in the room but one was missing; Endymion.
“Setsuna?!!”- exclaimed a voice she remembered but couldn’t quite place in her mind. She looked at all the faces in the room as she walked to where the group was gathered at the foot of the stairs that lead up to the throne. It was amazing to see all these people and the remarkable look of surprise at seen her back from the dead.
<They’ve thought that I was dead all this time... but then... how did I, in fact survived... and Endymion did not. They look so scared and confused... and sad... but happy to see me. I need to lay down,... my ability to sense things has magnified because of the loneliness of the Gates of Time, and there are too many things I feel at the same time coming from them.>
“Setsuna, please approach.”- directed Queen Serenity with her sweet motherly voice, and a look that made Setsuna fill with tears. Setsuna couldn’t help dropping her head as the tears came to the surface as she walked. <Why do I feel these tears surfacing? I vow with guilt because my love, my Endymion was killed because we continued meeting and someone found out. Something is not right, it couldn’t have been the Queen who gave that order because she would have no need to make it look as a suicide; she has every right to make decisions as our sovereign, but not by force...>
Setsuna looked up at Queen Serenity meeting her eyes as she walked to the throne and found her eyes loving and indicating no sign of challenge. The Queen smiled lovingly at her as she had seen her smile upon Princess Serenity, and open her arms to receive her with no questions. <She’s completely innocent of what happened with Endymion... she had nothing to do with it! I must be going crazy but I could swear that there is something going on... but we have been too blind to catch on. But catch on to who? Or what?> Setsuna continued walking and upon reaching the stairs she began her ascent towards the Queen’s throne.
Setsuna bowed to the Queen, and stood respectfully in silence. The Queen took her in her arms. “My dear Setsuna, welcome back to us.”-she said loud enough for the others to hear, and then whispered in her ear. “My beautiful Setsuna, I’ve longed so long to look upon you,... I have been troubled for you my dear.” Setsuna hugged the Queen tightly because she was the closest thing to a mother she had left, and hated to have caused her pain.
The other girls couldn’t help the feeling of horror of seeing someone that had been completely dead to them for many months come alive now out of who knows where. Yes, the Queen had told them days before Setsuna arrival that she had survived, and had been healing away from them. To Michiru, it had felt as a cruel joke to let them mourn for her, suffer her loss, and then out of the blue tell them that she was alive and on her way back to them.
“All of you must be very anxious to get reacquainted with Setsuna after all that has happened, but she must be allowed to recuperate fully, and I will reveal to you at the end of your training the truth of her miraculous survival. I can’t answer your questions yet because of the dangers that it could bring to our people; the people that we are sworn to protect above all.” -professed the Queen wearily at hating the thought of feeling so defenseless and with so many troubles from more than one angle.
She turned to Luna and requested, “Luna, please escort Setsuna to her old room, and help her with anything she might need.”
“Yes, my Lady.” -answered Luna with a respectful vow to the Queen.
“I hope that your return to the Moon Kingdom, your home, will not be as traumatic as I think it might be and I assure you that eventually you will understand everything that I’ve done.” -whispered the Queen in a very troubled tone to Setsuna.
Setsuna nodded not knowing what to say since in all her time at the Moon Kingdom she had never seen the Queen so troubled and somber about anything. She vowed to the Queen, then looked at Luna so that she would lead the way down the steps, and through the palace. They walked down the stairs to where the girls were all gathered, and once there Setsuna stopped to face them.
“I’m sorry for any pain I may have caused you, and I would like to tell you that I’ve missed your company very much.” -said Setsuna looking at each of them but without daring to make any physical contact with them since she saw they were frightened. She then whispered, “As for me, I’m fine...I’m fine... and you are all welcome to go see me in my room... any time... when you’re ready.”
Haruka, as always being the brave and bold one of the group, approached Setsuna with very smooth controlled movements and embraced her to the others surprise. “I’m glad to be able to see you again, and know that you will be able to go through the future with us.”
“Thank you, Haruka... you don’t know how much this gesture means to me, and... I’m sorry... I’ll stop...”-sobbed Setsuna pulling herself kindly from the embrace. She gave Haruka a little smile, “I remember how Uncomfortable mushy moments make you feel. Come see me any time you want, and please, prepare Michiru well before she sees me.”
Setsuna looked at the girls once more before following Luna once again, the two dark-haired women walked out of the Throne Hall, and as soon as they were out of the room Queen Serenity spoke to the rest.
“I know all of you are very confused at learning that Setsuna is still alive, I know that it won’t be easy for you to approach her, and I do urge you to think about how she must be feeling at this moment. She’s survived great ordeals in short amounts of time, and the only thing that I will tell you about why she survived the fall was that she wasn’t ready to die yet. Her reasons for living where all of you, and.... Endymion.
“The place where I sent her is far away so she knows nothing of the peculiar things that have been happening at the Moon Kingdom, and of the rebellion against us at Earth. I expect you not to reveal all the unpleasantness of what has happened in the time she’s been absent, and most of all... please, use wise judgment when speaking to her about Endymion. Think of how you would feel about the mention of your... absent love, and I know that with that thought in mind you will decide the right things to say to her.
“Now, as for what awaits Setsuna is time to heal close to all of us, and try to come to terms with all that has befallen her. The celebrations for the end of the Silver Millennium will begin in a week, and she will need help to prepare for the Grand Silver Millennium’s Last Ball, and the ceremonies the following morning welcoming the Golden Millennium.
“Please go, think of all that I have told you today, I’m aware that it is too much to unload on your young minds... but as future rulers you will have to deal with this kind of pressure all the time. All of you may go and I expect you to be early to dinner tonight. To my council members, I await you in my bedchamber immediately.” -she concluded and without awaiting anything exited the Throne Hall.
**********
“Luna,” -started Setsuna as she recognized the hall where the rooms were. “May I,... could I be allowed into... Endymion’s room?”
Luna didn’t stop or answer her until they had reached Setsuna’s room door. Luna looked thoughtfully at the dark, somber girl that Setsuna appeared to have become, and then answered, “Why must you torture yourself so? What do you expect to find there that will lessen your pain? But most of all, will you obey me if I refused to let you go in?” Setsuna was stunned by the other woman’s frankness, and was unable to say anything. Luna was used to seeing the old tough, independent Setsuna, and the frailty that this girl displayed made her feel sorry that she had said such words. She pulled the girl gently to her and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry, my dear. I am not here to judge or question you, since you are the only one that can understand your pain.”- she kissed the girl’s bronze cheek delicately. “Please, do as you will to heal... I can assure you that nobody will trouble you.” Luna hurried away, and left Setsuna standing by her door.
Setsuna walked slowly towards the door that lead into Endymion’s room, and with tears beginning to surface she stood before the door thinking of what Luna had asked.
< Why do I torture myself like this? What a question! I can’t escape my thoughts,... I can’t escape my memories, and worst of all... I can’t exit myself to stop this agony. As for what do I expect to find when I open this door... I expect to find that this was all a nightmare, and that I can run to take refuge in Endymion’s arms. I want... so bad to open this door and find him sitting in there... on his bed... with a book between his hands! > She tuned the golden door-knob with her thin shaking hand, and pushed the door in the opposite direction from her. She entered the room, stood staring around trying not to let her heart crumble too fast within her, and then closed the door slowly behind herself. < I want so bad to find something that will let me know that he’s not far
from me, or that he’s still as alive as I am. I want to find a clue that will explain to me this... this feeling deep in my heart,... this unexplainable feeling that he, my Endymion being alive is not only real but a fact!! >
She couldn’t restrain the awful cry of pain that was building up within her, and so it escaped her lips as she started shaking uncontrollably. She forced her trembling hands to her mouth in an effort to smother the pain from flowing out of her in a rush. The tears rolled down her bronze complexion as she sat on the floor, until she finally managed to get to her feet, and drag her unwilling frame to the huge four post bed. < I need you Endymion! I can’t stop thinking... I can’t stop thinking you’re alive. I can’t stop feeling this stirring in my heart that screams to me that you can’t be bed!! My soul, this soul that I bound to yours won’t let me exist.... for it, somehow, feels you near still !! > She lifted the great, soft comforter and she lay down on the bed that had held Endymion as he has drifted off to sleep not too long ago. The cover, the sheets, his pillows... everything still held the sweet perfume of his body just as if he’d just been there, and Setsuna took some comfort in being under the protection of the things that had kept him warm many nights. Setsuna drifted-off to sleep rather quickly, and found the consolation she had wanted so badly in her dreams.
[Dream]
Endymion was standing on the meadow where Setsuna had so often played the harp for him at Earth, and he was looking up at the shinning full moon.
“Setsuna, my love, I wish I knew if you were alive. My soul screams ‘yes!’ but my head says that its impossible. I need you more than ever my goddess, my muse, my Setsuna.” -Endymion looked older, grief stricken, and desperate to make some sense out of life. His eyes moved away from the moon when tears started to well there, and upon looking at his parents castle off in the distance, he openly cried to the night. “My parents are dead, brutally murdered by the same people that killed everyone from the Outer planets, and have made this their military base to hurt the Moon Kingdom. My home ravaged by these invaders, and my people loosing everything, including their faith in Queen Serenity. My sweet love is dead, and the Moon Kingdom won’t help me fight the enemies that have so destroyed me more.”
He turned to look at the little houses surrounding the countryside of the palace which were on fire, as the cries of his people were carried away by the gust of wind. He caught a glimpse of the spaceship that had come to win his parents support to destroy the Moon Kingdom with some mythical crystal that didn’t even exist. His parents had sent him away to heal after those men came to Earth, and thus, saving his life.
“I have nothing left to live for but I am no coward, and will not let these pack of ravens win! The Moon Kingdom may distrust all Earthlings but I will fight, alone if I must, so that the Moon Kingdom does not suffer the same fate the outer planets and my own precious Earth have suffered.” -he said with great resolve towards facing the future. Endymion’s midnight blue eyes then turned from the inferno that was his home to look at the tranquil, distant Moon. As he continued looking at the Moon that kept shinning its white light on him, he whispered, “I will win either way by fighting; if I can save the Moon Kingdom and the other planets from destruction then that is a win, and if I die trying... I will also win, for I will be... with you again, Setsuna.”
[End of dream]
Setsuna opened her large magenta eyes slowly, and she stared at the smooth, sky blue ceiling trying to remember the dream that had brought her such unbreakable peace. It was hopeless trying to remember the dream; but the thought of Endymion remained even stronger than before and she felt no pain. Now that she continued to think about him, she felt no longer the tightness in her heart, her soul had been released from the anguish that it had lived under for so long, and she refused to fight against this. This harmony she felt within herself was a good omen, so she trusted it, and kept it with her for safety against what she might face in the future.
***************
“But... how is it that Setsuna survived?!!” -asked Beryl with exasperation and disbelief covering her entire being. < Why should she survive when Endymion died?! I don’t want her alive! I wanted Endymion all this time and this is how I’m paid, with her living and him dead? No I won’t take it! >
“You act as if you are displeased to learn this.” -commented Artemis thoughtfully inspecting Beryl’s actions with growing distrust. Beryl did not answer him, but bowed her head as she leaned on a chair to calm herself, and change her entire demeanor.
Queen Serenity could sense how far the tension level had increased, and finally decided to explain everything to Beryl. “My dears, there is no need for this to get out of hand. Listen Beryl, you are the youngest member of my council and that is why you know nothing of the source of great power at this Kingdom. I took you as an advisor so that the bond of trust with the Aedrean galaxy would be established by the time my daughter was to choose one of the Princes from that galaxy. It was my plan to establish trust between both galaxies so that our interests would be one and the same by the time the wedding came to pass. I can safely say that Serenity’s marriage to the Prince from that galaxy is near for she has told me she favors Prince Andrei over his other brothers. My daughter and I spoke after their last visit to the Moon Kingdom; she is quite taken by him, and from what we observed he with her. I assured her that she needn’t precipitate her decision since she is only 16 and won’t be married until 21.”
The queen smiled to herself a the thought of seeing Serenity all grown-up, dressed in her wedding gown, and taking the throne to rule both galaxies with her husband. She turned to a window to her left and surveyed the Kingdom as she continued, “Since I feel certainty that this union between Serenity and Andrei will come to pass, and since you have been loyal to me in this Royal Court a great amount of years; I can tell you of the great source of power that I mentioned before: the Silver Imperium Crystal.”
“Silver Imperium Crystal?” -gasped Beryl not believing her ears. “But I thought that you said that was simply a myth?”
“We have always said to everyone that its a myth, because we didn’t want anyone to believe in its power, and that way keep it from falling into the wrong hands.” - uttered Artemis respectfully after the Queen didn’t answer Beryl’s question.
“Yes, Artemis is right. The Silver Imperium Crystal is the most powerful crystal ever encountered, and it is imperative to keep people from believing on its power for the danger to the Moon Kingdom would be great,... not to mention constant.” -assured the Queen she turned from the window to look at the lean, tall figure of Beryl. “That was how Setsuna and Endymion survived the fall from the roof of the palace. I had plenty of lengthy reasons for saving them: their parents were loyal to me, both are necessary to my daughter’s court, and the most important of all- they didn’t want to die. Their love for each other is so strong that they refused to give up living.”
“Endymion is alive too?!”- exclaimed Beryl full of happiness that threatened to overwhelm her to the point of wanting to faint. < What luck! Finally, after all this time of being at the Moon Kingdom and working for Queen Metallia, the crystal is real! Endymion didn’t die, and all my work was not in vain. Everything we planned will work better than expected with this new development.> “Where is Endymion? When will he arrive?”-asked Beryl suddenly aware that she had to get rid of Setsuna before he arrived.
The Queen’s face turned sad, gloomy at the mention of Endymion, and she said in a confiding to Beryl, “I’m afraid that I may have made a grave error in sending Endymion back home to recuperate without letting him know that Setsuna was also alive, and they would be together in due time. I didn’t know that they had been betrothed while they had been at Earth, and his mother was very upset when she sent a message to me. I think that is why they’ve pulled away from us, and why they allowed the people that destroyed the Outer planets to stay at Earth, and began this rebellion against the Moon Kingdom. They must have thought that it was awful that his punishment for attempting suicide was for Endymion to live, and Setsuna to die. I can’t think of any other way a rebellion would have started there.” Queen Serenity was pale and grieved as she thought of Setsuna once again, so she turned to the window to conceal the lack of composure she was experiencing.
< The fool actually thinks that Endymion and his family turned away from the Moon Kingdom. Oh, this is too perfect! This is better than anything we might have planned. All I have to do is go to Earth, and convince Endymion that his punishment was for Setsuna to die. I will then offer him my help in avenging her death, I will seduce him, and he will be all mine finally.> -thought Beryl while awaiting for the Queen to speak again.
The Queen was unable to say anything else, and a knock was heard on the door. Artemis knowing Luna’s way of knocking after working so closely with her for so many years as counselor to the Queen, immediately opened the door for her, and let her in. Luna entered rapidly and apologized, “I’m sorry your Majesty for taking so long, and interrupting this meeting.”
“It is all right Luna, you needn’t apologize, you didn’t miss anything that you didn’t already know.” -answered the Queen amiably dismissing the woman’s apology. “But tell me, how do you find our Setsuna?”
“I’m afraid her heart and soul are beyond repair with everything that she has witnessed in her short years. Believing that Endymion is dead was the last blow to her innocence, and possibly the deepest injury inflicted. I could read from her mind that the unexpected loss of her home planet and her parents is ever present with her, but she always expected to be able to have Endymion to get her through everything that was bad. Not necessarily rely on him but having the immense love for him that she has... for believe me, she still had that love for him,... just knowing that he was there made her want to pull through everything no matter how hard it was.” -Luna said as she thought about the girl that looked more alone than anyone she’d even seen in her long years. “Physically and mentally she seems to be functioning fine, or so it seemed when I hugged her.”
“Yes, I sensed the same when I held her in my arms too. It is as I feared, and I have no idea of how to avoid causing her more damage.” -the Queen exhaled slowly as if she’d been holding her breath all along. “But I have given it much thought previous to her arrival: I don’t believe that it would be beneficial to tell her that there’s a rebellion at Earth against the Moon Kingdom, that the same people that destroyed her planet and ended her parents lives are at Earth, and that we suspect that Endymion had motives to join them.”
“I agree with you Majesty,” -nodded Artemis sadly with his arms behind his back as he paced near the door. “because due to the circumstances... Prince Endymion and his family are lost to us even if they are not behind the rebellion. The fact that those... beast... that destroyed the Outer planets are stationed there is of great concern, not to mention the risk we would run by trusting anyone from Earth at this time. Trusting them would put your Majesty, the Royal Court, and the entire Moon Kingdom under great danger that we simply can’t afford take.”
“Your Majesty, if I may.” -requested Luna quietly, and the Queen nodded permission for her to speak. Luna looked deeply into Beryl’s eyes for she greatly distrusted her, and trying to gather the words in defense of Setsuna began, “Queen Serenity, why not let Setsuna know that Endymion is alive? It would ease her pain greatly, not to mention that if Endymion is behind the rebellion at Earth she will bring him to his senses. At least she should have the chance to try to change the way thing turned out, your Majesty.”
< No! That would be disastrous for all my plans! > -thought Beryl annoyed at Luna and immediately set out to fight against what Luna suggested.
“Your Majesty, we can’t use Setsuna for something like that in her frail emotional state! Besides, the girl is so in love with Endymion that she doesn’t have the strength or will to dissuade him for what he means to do, then she might be lost to us also. Not to mention that if she is sent to Earth, it may not be up to Endymion if the rebellion continues due to the fact that the people that destroyed the Outer planets are there. From what Endymion told us when they came back after the destruction of the Outer planet, the leader of the bunch had heard of Setsuna and who is to say that they won’t capture her if she is sent to Earth!” - she exclaimed acting perfectly indignant that such a thing be tried. “Setsuna had suffered enough, she should not have to go through that for our political reasons.”
Beryl’s persuasion hit the other three where it best fit to help her plans, and she smiled inwardly for she knew that they had too much heart to put Setsuna through such an attempt to stop the rebellion. < What idiots! They weight everything with their imbecile hearts, and crippling emotions. Is it any wonder why they have left us plenty of room to plan every aspect of their precious Kingdom’s downfall? We will have that crystal no matter what... it is only a matter of time.>
“Then it is decided,” -confirmed Queen Serenity to all her decision. “Setsuna is not to know that Endymion is alive, and that there is a rebellion at Earth by the same people that destroyed her planet. I want nothing to perturb her as she tries to get herself back together, and I want her to have the best for the celebrations honoring the end of the Silver Millennium. She is the first born in Serenity’s Royal Court so she must be ready to welcome the Golden Millennium at the ceremony after the Ball.” -she turned to Luna and said with a smile. “Luna, I put you in charge of making sure she has everything she wants for such a special occasion, and if she does not wan to be bothered with any of that, then you may make the decisions in her name.