The Starfleet Officer Cont’d

 

 

            Janeway sat on the biobed in sickbay while the Doctor fussed over her chest wounds.  She was preoccupied with other matters, but she caught some of what he was saying.

 

            “—These are very serious, Captain… don’t know how you managed to get these… lucky they weren’t infected… could have proven a serious hazard—”

 

            She let him talk.

 

            When he finished healing the damage, she began to pull on her turtleneck, and asked him quietly,  “Where’s Seska?”

 

            His expression clouded over, and he said quietly,  “ In the morgue.  I wasn’t planning to do an autopsy… Cardassian customs, you understand… and it was fairly clear what the cause of death was.  A blow to the head.  And burns.  Severe.  I healed them, for aesthetic reasons only, of course.  It simply seemed wrong to leave her like that.”

 

            Janeway nodded absently, her gaze already lost beyond him, directed towards the door to the morgue.  She hopped off the bed and started towards the door, only to be stopped by the Doctor’s hand on her arm and the grim look in his eyes.

 

            “ Commander Chakotay,” the Doctor said softly, nodding his head towards the door.

 

            Janeway caught his gaze, and then decided to wait.  Chakotay had much more to resolve when it came to Seska than she did.  She could let him finish in there.

 

            The Doctor pursed his lips and headed towards his office, and Janeway followed closely, preparing a question for him.

 

            “ She was immediately knocked unconscious; death came soon after,” the Doctor answered before Janeway could ask just how Seska had died.  “The impact to her head was enough.  The burns would have been a secondary cause of death, without medical treatment.”  He paused a beat.  “ Of course, if she’d been brought to me immediately, I might have been able to revive her.”

 

            Then it’s a good thing she wasn’t brought to you, Janeway thought to herself, aware that the Doctor’s programming compelled him to heal the injured, whatever or rather whomever they may be.  She knew from his expression that he was thinking the same thing.  If Seska had lived, what would they have done with her?  It would have been a headache for all concerned.

 

            She took a seat in the chair opposite his, pensive.  He scrutinized her closely for a few moments, and then spoke up,  “ Captain, what are you planning to do, with regards to the burial?”

 

            Janeway looked up at him.  “ I hadn’t given it much thought.”  She looked down at her hands.  “  The usual thing would be to hold a service, and launch her into space.  But the crew’s feelings are so raw… and after what she did to us…”

 

            The Doctor tapped a few buttons on his console, attempting to fill the silence with frenetic activity.  After a moment, he said,  “ If there were an open casket, the crew would be as likely to spit on her as to look at her.”

 

            Bitter eulogies, insulting remembrances.  As a former crewmember and comrade, Seska would technically be entitled to a funeral; however, Janeway could remember quite clearly the disaster Mike Jonas’s service had been, and just how deeply wounds were felt afterwards among the crew.

 

Janeway pondered this for a few seconds.  Besides all her other considerations, after this last incident with the Kazon, she wouldn’t mind spitting on Seska herself.  “ We can’t have a service.  It’s out of the question.  We wouldn’t do that for any other enemy killed on this ship.  She’s no exception, despite the history some might have with her.”  She cast a meaningful glance towards the morgue where her first officer lurked.  “We’ll just have to launch her into space.  Maybe the Kazon will find her.”  She paused, and added under her breath, “ It’s a pity they didn’t just take her with them.”

 

            The Doctor nodded approvingly.  “ No service.  Well, I don’t believe anyone will object; everyone’s eager to get this chapter of our voyage behind them.”

 

            Before Janeway could reply, the door to the morgue slid open, and Chakotay emerged.  His expression was grim, yet there was now a certain serenity present that had been missing from his countenance earlier; he seemed more at peace.  Kathryn caught his eye, let him see her compassion—not for the death of Seska, but for the loss of his own sense of trust, of his faith in people.  He returned her gaze with a small nod and a nearly imperceptible smile.  She resolved to speak with him later, to sort out their respective feelings on this incident.

 

 

 

            Later, she stood over Seska’s body, looking at the bulge under the blue sheet.  A second passed, then she reached out and slid the sheet down enough to reveal Seska’s face, peaceful, almost as though she were in a deep sleep.  Too damn peaceful; Seska didn’t deserve peace, especially after what she’d put this crew through.

 

            Janeway sunk down to crouch next to the examination table, bringing her head level with Seska’s.  She looked intently at the dead woman, then said quietly and vehemently,  “You knew something.  What did you know, Seska?  What was your secret?  Why are we out here?”

 

            The dead woman lay still on the examination table.  Janeway felt her hatred towards this woman, tasted it as she gazed at this person for the last time.  She relived the humiliation of being slapped to the floor of her own bridge, in front of her crew, the helplessness of sitting in the cargo bay as the Kazon secured her ship, the agony when this woman had held a red-hot blade to her naked skin, and the degradation of feeling Culluh rub himself against her in an attempt to arouse himself.  She relived those tumultuous emotions and she wanted to kill this woman all over again.

 

            “ Fuck you, Seska,” she whispered to the body.  “ I hope you’re burning in hell right now.”

 

            She rose to her feet, and grasped the sheet, prepared to yank it back up over her foe’s hated visage.  Then Seska’s cheek twitched.

 

            Janeway froze.

 

            She watched the other woman closely, waiting for any further sign of movement.  Just when she concluded that she’d imagined the other woman’s movement, Seska’s lips twitched, and then went still.

 

            Janeway’s throat constricted, and quickly, her hand flew to Seska’s throat.  No pulse, no warmth, no breathing.  It could just be muscular contractions; they were common in dead bodies.

 

            Yet Janeway’s instincts railed against this explanation, and she was loath to disregard her instincts.  Not again; not after last time.

 

           

 

            A few days passed.

 

            “ I’m going to take a shuttle out,” Janeway told Chakotay quietly as they sat together at her desk in the ready room.

 

            He looked up at her sharply.  “ Kathryn, it’s still too dangerous—”

 

            She looked up, her expression surprisingly clear, her eyes flinted with determination.  “ Chakotay, please.  I need some time to myself.  After this.  Give me that.”

 

            He swallowed back his objections.  He knew so much had happened to her the last few days—Voyager’s capture and subsequent return, Seska’s death and burial in space, the endless repairs.  He knew she needed to think, sort out her thoughts, that closure was just as important to her as her physical welfare.

 

            “ All right,” he said quietly.  “ I’ll have Tom prepare a shuttle.  Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

 

            He felt uneasy at the distant look in her eyes as she said,  “I promise.”

 

 

 

 

            She waited until the shuttle was out of the scanning radius of first Voyager’s short-range sensors, and then long-range sensors.  As soon as she was assured of her safety, she tapped the control panel and briskly entered in a new heading.  The shuttle spun about, and jetted off at warp speed to the designated sector.

 

            Janeway began to scan the sector, and slowed to impulse.  The sensors soon beeped in affirmation, and, locking transporters onto the target, she energized.  There was a hum behind her as the black casket materialized onto the transporter pad.

 

            She spun the chair around to gaze back at the black coffin, wondering whether she should take the opportunity to just send it back into space, or maybe launch it into the corona of a star.  After a few moments of thought, she put aside her doubts, set the shuttle on a new course and went to warp.  She didn’t want to prove a stationary target in case any Kazon still lurked in the area.

 

            Janeway pulled out a toolkit, and fumbled for the laser cutter and the hypospray she’d prepared.  She tucked the hypospray in her pocket, grasped the laser cutter in her hand, and then approached the casket.  With a few decisive, clean sweeps of the laser, she severed the top of the coffin from the bottom part, and sent it crashing to the floor beyond the transporter platform.  She gazed a moment at the dead Seska.  The Cardassian woman’s eyes were closed peacefully, and her hands had been folded gracefully across her chest.  Janeway could smell the faint scent of embalming powder that had been liberally doused over her body, and shuddered in disgust.

 

            “ I’ve got to be crazy,” she said out loud.  Without further adieu, she swept the hypospray out of her pocket, and pressed the instrument against Seska’s neck; it emptied the contents into her with a faint hiss.  Janeway settled back on her heels, waiting for the other woman to regain consciousness.

 

Nothing happened, and Janeway felt a sudden wave of relief.  She almost laughed.

 

            “ Dead.  She’s dead.  It’s fine, Kathryn,” she spoke the words out loud to assure herself of their truth.  As she turned away to launch herself off the platform, her mind already running over the procedures of beaming Seska back into space, she heard a sudden intake of breath behind her.

 

            Janeway’s spine stiffened, and without conscious thought, she rushed forward, and hit the containment field generator on a nearby console.  The faint glow of the newly erected force field had barely appeared before a moan rose from the coffin.  Then another chorus of faint moans, and shuffling movement.

 

            Janeway’s heart pounded in her chest.  She’d been right, this one time.  She’d finally matched step with Seska.  She fumbled with a nearby compartment and retrieved a phaser.  She wouldn’t take any more chances with this woman.

 

            The air was split by a sharp, “ Ugh!”

 

            Janeway tensed, her eyes narrowing to slits.  Her vigilance was rewarded by the sight of Seska stiffly pushing herself to a sitting position, fighting the effects of the stiffening embalming powder, and not a slight bit of muscular atrophy.

 

            Her eyes flickered over to Janeway, and Kathryn relished the surprise she saw in them.

 

            “ Hello, Seska,” Janeway hissed.

 

            Seska gaped at her a second, then, recovering from her shock, she slowly began to rotate her arms and twitch her legs, working the stiffness out of her joints.  Finally, when her body seemed to be cooperating fully, Seska pushed herself out of the coffin, and walked towards Janeway, instinctively stopping short of the force field.  Janeway was impressed by the other woman’s instincts.

 

            “ You’re the last person I expected to see again,” Seska drawled, her voice slightly hoarse.  Her face was pale in the harsh light of the transporter platform.  She looked around the shuttle, then down at the coffin.  “ So I had a brief sojourn with death, did I?  I can smell the embalming powder.  A long sonic shower should rid me of the smell.  Thank God the Doctor didn’t put it inside of me, too…  I take it you have your ship back.”

 

            Janeway let her contempt show.  “ You’re right, I do.”

 

            Seska’s eyes narrowed.  “ Well, send my compliments to Tom Paris.  It was entirely his heroism that made up for your idiocy, wasn’t it?”

 

            Janeway inclined her head, unmoved.  “ I’ll convey him your regards.”

 

            Seska shifted her weight and shook one leg at a time, working out the last of her muscular atrophy.

 

            Janeway watched dispassionately, then spoke, “ Amazing, the power of regeneration, isn’t it?  A fatal head injury, numerous burns, muscular atrophy, all overcome within a short few days.”

 

            Seska looked at her evenly.  “ Quite amazing.”

 

            “ Not all that practical, though,” Janeway continued.  “ What would have happened when you’d woken up trapped inside that freezing, air-less coffin?  What good would regeneration do you, then?”

 

            “ I’d simply die and regenerate over and over until I reached somewhere habitable,” Seska replied.  She peered at Janeway.  “ How did you know I would come back to life?”

 

            Janeway smiled with satisfaction.  “ Your muscles started… working again in sickbay.  It was written off by the doctor, but I took the liberty of doing a little extra research.  Heard of Talus IV?”

 

            Seska stared at her blankly.

 

            “ Cardassian War, about nineteen years ago.  Starfleet officers killed a good thousand Cardassian soldiers,” Janeway volunteered.  “ They forged on, seeking to liberate more of the colony.  It seems that these Cardassians were special, though.  When the Starfleet officers set up camp for the night, almost all one thousand of these Cardassians mysteriously came back to life, and attacked the Starfleet encampment at nighttime.  They killed almost all of the Starfleet officers, who, unfortunately, didn’t come back to life themselves.”

 

            “ A good night’s work.  I wish I’d been there to watch them die,” Seska replied snarkily.

 

            “ The Cardassian government was required by treaty to ban regenerative technology, both in their soldiers and their general populace,” Janeway continued, nonplussed.  “ But I expect that an Obsidian Order agent would be above this law, wouldn’t she?”

 

            Seska smiled.  “ I spent nearly three months undergoing surgical and genetic modifications for them to give my body that healing mechanism; it never did anything useful for me until today.”

 

            Janeway raised an eyebrow.  “ So you’ll come back to life if you’re shot, burned, mangled, just as long as your body is intact…” With a gleam in her eye, she rested her hand dangerously near the transporter controls.  “ What about if you explode in the vacuum of space?  Will your body’s regenerative mechanism rescue you then?”

 

            The sudden alarm in Seska’s eyes told Janeway the answer.  Her expression quickly resumed the mask of indifference.

 

            “ You want something, Janeway,” Seska said.  “ You wouldn’t have brought me here, otherwise.  You would have left me in that coffin, or maybe killed me.”

 

            “ I may kill you yet,” Janeway replied dangerously.

 

            Seska sneered.  “ Don’t posture with me.  I’ve destroyed adversaries a hundred times more formidable than you could ever hope to be.”

 

            Janeway raised an eyebrow.  “ But did any of them have you trapped behind a containment field on a transporter platform?  If you’re not inclined to be cooperative, the vacuum of space is right outside calling to you.” 

 

And I’ll do it, Janeway thought with conviction.  She had nothing left to lose.  She moved her hand closer to the controls, but Seska, reading Janeway’s determination, quickly called for her to stop.

 

            “ We can talk,” the Cardassian said quickly.

 

            Janeway looked up at her suspiciously.

 

            Seska suddenly gave her a languid smile.  “ I believe in cooperation, Captain, if it serves my interest.”  She leaned casually back against the coffin, suddenly confident again.  “ But I wouldn’t dream of cooperating if I’m simply going to be ejected into space, or stuffed back into that coffin.”

 

            Janeway hesitated.  Then,  “ I want some information.  If you cooperate, I’ll leave you on the next M-Class planet.”

 

            “ Really?  And how do I know you’ll keep your word?”  Seska retorted.

 

            “ Some of us are honest,” Janeway said in a steely voice.

 

            Seska studied her intently for a few moments, and then smiled again.  “ I do believe you’re fool enough to mean that.”  She paused melodramatically, and then said,  “Fine.  You want information.  I’m at your disposal.”  She spread her hands elegantly in a grandiose way that reminded Janeway frighteningly of the self-assured Cardassian Guls she’d encountered over the years.

 

            “ What’s your mission in the Delta Quadrant?”  Janeway demanded.

 

            The smile froze only briefly on Seska’s face.  She then said,  “So, you suddenly believe there’s a purpose to my presence here.  Why might that be, Captain?  Is it because you have a purpose of your own?”

 

            Janeway sneered,  “ You’ve known all along about my mission, Seska, and now I want to know about yours.  Don’t play innocent with me, or I swear, I’ll space you.”  She twitched her hand meaningfully towards the controls, and Seska inclined her head in surrender.

 

            “ You just piqued my interest, that’s all, Captain.”  She studied Janeway intently for a second, then continued,  “ Yes, I have a mission, and since we’re all stranded here it wouldn’t hurt me to reveal it to you.”  There was a pause, then,  “ You see, Chakotay’s ship wasn’t the first vessel from the Alpha Quadrant to encounter the Caretaker.”

 

            “ Oh?”

 

            Seska watched her closely.  “ Mine was.”

 

            “ Yours?”  Janeway echoed, her eyebrows shooting up.

 

            Seska laughed.  “ Don’t look so surprised, Captain.  You aren’t the first female to reach a position of authority.  Yes, my ship; I was a Gul, commander of my very own warship.”  Her eyes grew distant as she related,  “ We were pulled into the Delta Quadrant, tested, poked, interrogated, then sent right back to the Badlands.  It made a fascinating report to my superiors.  It also inspired some interest from very high up.

 

            “ I received orders,” Seska continued,  “To revisit my previous career, as an agent of the Obsidian Order.  They altered my DNA, made me into a Bajoran, gave me the appearance and identity of some Bajoran slut my men picked up one night.  I was assigned to go onboard a Maquis ship, gain the commanding officer’s trust,” a smile curled at her lips, as she seemed to contemplate the nature of the trust she’d gained, “and bring the ship back to the very spot where the Caretaker had grabbed my ship from.”

 

            “ Why?”  Janeway asked softly.

 

            “ The technology, naturally,” Seska replied.  “ The scans taken from my ship revealed the decaying health of the Caretaker.  My job was to return to the Caretaker, via the most nondescript method available, the Maquis— the native inhabitants of the Badlands.  After the Caretaker’s death, I was supposed to find a method of transporting the array back to the Alpha Quadrant, which would have been a simple task given the Caretaker’s advanced technology.”  She looked at Janeway sharply.  “ If you hadn’t come after that bloody Vulcan of yours, I could have accomplished my mission and we’d all be home now.”

 

            Janeway seethed.  “ And the Cardassians would have their hands upon some of the galaxy’s most advanced technology.  Sorry, but that wouldn’t sit well with me.”

 

            “ Obviously.”  Seska caulked her head at Janeway.  “ Now, are you going to tell me your mission?  I can only conclude that Starfleet somehow got wind of our findings with regards to the Caretaker, and they sent you to stop me.”  She looked at Janeway with a hint of irritation.  “ I can understand destroying the array, but couldn’t you wait until after we’d returned to the Alpha Quadrant?  Haven’t you heard of a bomb?  Or was there some additional element to your mission?”

 

            “ I had to ensure the total destruction of the array; there was no room for error.”

 

            Seska’s expression was hard.  “ You could have done that with a time activated bomb.”

 

            “ I was under orders to remain and ensure the success,” Janeway said softly.  Some part of her told her that Seska didn’t need to know this, yet something inside her compelled her to explain herself to someone.

 

            “ And what was so vital about this mission that Starfleet sacrificed you and your crew to this quadrant?”  Seska demanded.  She added cattily,  “ Or are you really so incompetent an officer that they wanted to be rid of you?”

 

            Janeway looked at her pointedly.  “ Why don’t you tell me what was so vital?  Just what was the urgency your government felt with regards to this array?”

 

            “ I’m merely an agent, Captain,” Seska deflected.  “ I can hardly tell you the motivations of the Cardassian government.”

 

            “ Let me venture a guess,” Janeway hedged, starting to pace back and forth.  “Your people were planning to eventually make use of this technology, to attack the Federation.  Am I right?  You were planning on violating the peace.”

 

            Seska looked at her with contempt.  “ Peace?” she spat the word out like a curse.  “ Peace is a human invention, the creation of a race of cowards.”  She stepped as close to Janeway as she could get without coming in contact with the force field.  “ Life is about struggle, about the triumph of the superior over the inferior.  We Cardassians recognize that; the Romulans recognize that, even the Klingons know that.  We don’t make peace with inferior races; we bide our time.  If your people weren’t all naïve fools, perhaps you’d realize that we’ve spent the last twenty years preparing for the day we strike back.”  Her voice dropped.  “ It is something that any Cardassian would tell you; it’s who we are.  You are the ones who choose not to listen.  You ask if we were planning to use the technology to attack the Federation— well I tell you, we will attack the Federation with or without the technology.”

 

            “ So you were planning to use the array’s technology against the Federation,” Janeway breathed.

 

            “ I won’t condescend to explain the obvious more than I already have,” Seska retorted, withdrawing.  “ Now, how were you planning on getting Voyager home?”

 

            Janeway’s expression hardened.  “ I wasn’t aware an exchange of information was part of our deal.”

 

            “ You would deny me this, after all I’ve told you?” Seska demanded shrilly.

 

            “ I’m giving you your life,” Janeway said slowly.  “ And you’re lucky I’m allowing you even that.”

 

            With that, she whirled around and stalked away from the other woman.  She briefly ran a scan for a M-Class planet in an isolated sector, while Seska was surprisingly quiet behind her.  When Janeway found a suitable one to deposit her prisoner, she set the new course.

 

            “ Well, Seska, looks like we found you a new home.”

 

 

 

 

            Chakotay seemed to have forgotten his phaser while absorbing this new information; it lay forgotten on his lap, and he was slumped on a nearby bench.

 

            “ Seska lived?”

 

            Janeway looked at him with a sour expression, drawn away from her narrative.

 

            “ Chakotay, I can’t tell you what happened if you keep interrupting me.”

 

            He stared at her incredulously.  “ Kathryn, for God’s sake, why didn’t you tell me about this?”

 

            “ Had I told you about Seska,” Janeway explained patiently,  “ You would have wanted to know what kind of conversation we were having, and then from her words, you would have want to know about what sort of mission she was on, and from her mission you would have construed information about my mission, which would have fostered the bitterness you’re showing me now.  And the feelings you have—”

 

            “ I get the point,” Chakotay snapped, remembering his own bad mood.  After a second, he said,  “So, Seska’s ship was in the Delta Quadrant.”

 

            “ That’s right.”

 

            Chakotay looked up at her in amazement.  “ So a year and a half ago, when Seven of Nine started downloading too much information, and began forming those conspiracy theories, that image she showed us both, the image from Neelix’s vessel of a Cardassian warship—”

 

            “ Was real.  It was Seska’s ship, when it arrived at the Array,” Janeway replied.   Reflective, she added,  “I nearly had a heart attack when she showed me that image.  I deleted it from the databanks a week later, made it look like a random accident.”

 

 

 

            Everything seemed to be going well.  I’d gotten the information I wanted out of Seska, at least enough to ease my conscience.  I understood a little better about what sort of mission Starfleet had sent me on, and just why I had ensured the continued safety of the Federation.  I was feeling pretty damn good that I’d anticipated her inevitable return to life, and I was reassured that the planet I was depositing her on was completely uninhabited; I knew that once she was there, she would have no chance to return to trouble us further.  So, naturally, I made the mistake of underestimating Seska again.  As I was busy making course corrections, steering us towards her new home, Seska was busy overriding my security measures, and she managed to get the force field down without even alerting me.

 

 

           

            Janeway sat at the helm, the phaser lying carelessly to the right of her.  She occasionally glanced back at Seska, still confined behind the force field, and was somewhat surprised at the woman’s passive acceptance of her fate.  She supposed that dying and coming back to life was a sobering experience; perhaps Seska didn’t want to risk death again.

 

            So she was doubly startled when a dark hand snatched Janeway’s phaser from where it was lying on the console and, before she had a chance to react, pressed it to the back of her neck.  Janeway froze.  She hadn’t even heard the force field drop, much less the approach of the Cardassian.

 

            “ This is just classic, isn’t it?  In a remarkable twist of fate,” Seska reveled, her voice ringing with triumph, “ the vanquished heroine manages to gain the upper hand once again on the gullible starship captain.”

 

            “ How the hell did you get past that force field?” Janeway demanded incredulously.

 

            Seska leaned forward a little, and her hand snaked across the console; Janeway could tell she was entering a new course.

 

            “ When will you stop underestimating me?” Seska drawled.  “ I’ve fooled you time and again; I have inborn Cardassian ingenuity, the expertise of an Obsidian Order agent, training in the workings of Maquis, Cardassian, and Starfleet technology, plus the experience of command.  You’re a rookie at this game, Captain Janeway.  Unfortunately for you,” she tapped in a few more commands, and abruptly the helm was locked out of Janeway’s control, “You’re never going to get the chance to be any more than a rookie.”

 

            Before Janeway could reply, the butt of the phaser slammed against the back of her head, and abruptly the world went dark.

 

 

 

 

            She woke up, her head throbbing.  She found herself on the floor of the shuttle, her hands bound tightly behind her back.  Seska’s back was to her, and she seemed to be working on something.  As though she sensed that Janeway was now awake, she spun around and gave her a malicious smile.

 

            “ I’ve been working on this for the last hour; what do you think?” Seska spun the chair so Janeway could see the screen Seska was working at, and with a few taps on the control panel, Kathryn was startled to see herself appear on the view screen.

 

            “ Voyager, if you’re getting this, I just want to inform you that I’m all right,” Kathryn’s own voice filtered from the screen.  Her hair was perfectly in place, and she seemed like her usual, immaculate self.  “ One of the warp coils blew out on the shuttle, and I’m currently on the Neimru Homeworld in negotiation for a new one.  They’re very reluctant to admit outsiders into their space, so I’m discouraging you from approaching the planet to retrieve me.  Everything’s going fine; I’ll just be delayed a day or two.  They’re really very agreeable as long as they don’t feel threatened.  Your orders are to continue with the repair effort, and I’ll be in contact with you again shortly.  Janeway out.”

 

            Janeway’s mouth still hung open after the transmission had cut off.  Seska had captured her facial expressions, her intonation, her gestures absolutely perfectly.  Seska studied her reaction, and then smiled a feral smile.

 

            “ I’m glad it meets your approval.  I’m transmitting now.  I do need to buy enough time, after all.”

 

            Janeway blinked at her.  “ Time for what?”  She suddenly felt sick.  “ Are you taking us back to the Kazon?”

 

            “ The Kazon?  Oh, no.”  She made a face.  “ Those fools have the manners of Klingons coupled with the idiocy of Nausicans.  Though,” she added thoughtfully,  “I eventually have to retrieve my son.  As long as Culluh doesn’t realize I’m still alive.”

 

            “ Where are we going, then?” Janeway rasped.

 

            “ I’ve been making friends in this quadrant, even since I left Voyager,” Seska said thoughtfully.  “ Far more friends than you have.  Have you heard of the Krowtonan Guard?”  At Janeway’s blank stare, Seska elaborated,  “They have transporters.  And replicators.  Think of that!  I do believe they’re the only civilized species on this side of the Delta Quadrant, albeit a tad xenophobic.”  She looked suddenly very self-satisfied.  “I’ve taken the liberty of cultivating their trust.  They seem to believe we have a mutual enemy.  They claim to have encountered a Federation Starship.”

 

            Janeway shook her head.  “ They’re mistaken.  We’ve never come into contact with any Krowtonan Guard.”

 

            Seska smiled.  “ Well, they certainly believe they’ve encountered you—they claim you violated their space, and that they did quite a bit of damage before you escaped.  Of course, the encounter they cite apparently took place a good six months before we even arrived in this quadrant, but who am I to deny them an enemy?”  She turned back to her console, put in a few more course corrections.  “ I think we’ll prove a nice present to them—my expertise to help strengthen their empire, your scientific knowledge to advance their technology, and pieces of your broken body to adorn their bulkheads.”

 

            “ How charming.”

 

            “ Besides, we never did finish our conversation.  You were going to tell me just how you planned going to get the crew home?”  Seska said, rising out of her seat and approaching Janeway.  Janeway struggled up to a sitting position.  She could still smell the embalming powder on Seska, though the other woman seemed to have washed most of it off.

 

            Janeway said, “ Don’t tell me we’re getting into this again!”

 

            Seska shrugged.  “ You can tell me now, or I can torture it out of you once we intercept the Krowtonan Guard.  It’s your choice.”

 

            Janeway finally smiled nastily.  “ Fine.  You want to know how we’re getting home?  A portal.  In the middle of Borg space.”

 

            Seska backhanded her, sending Janeway back to the floor.  “ I’ll make you wish for the Borg once I’m through with you,” she hissed.

 

            Seska stalked back over to the navigation controls, and Janeway smiled grimly to herself, marveling at the fact that despite every precaution she’d taken, she was back in Seska’s mercy.

 

Kathryn would look back at this day, wryly reflecting that the sarcastic comment she’d made about the portal being in Borg space later proved to be dead on.  But she didn’t know that at the time she’d made it.

 

            Shortly later, Seska seemed to decide she preferred Kathryn unconscious.  She returned to Janeway’s side, raised the phaser above her head, and clonked Janeway hard in the back of the head.  Kathryn slumped to the floor, this time only very dizzy and not rendered unconscious by the blow, but unwilling to let it on to Seska.  Seska kicked her with her foot, as if to ensure Janeway’s incapacitation.  Janeway fought back a pained grunt, and was relieved when Seska turned away and stopped paying attention to her.

 

            Kathryn fought against her dizziness, and began to discreetly work on her bonds.

 

            Sometime later, she realized she was making progress.  Her bonds were steadily growing looser.  She peeked up at Seska, and realized that the other woman had stopped paying attention to her, naturally assuming that Janeway was helpless now that she was supposedly unconscious and tied up.  You underestimate me now, Seska, Janeway thought.

 

            Seska had locked her out of the navigation and transporter controls—there was no way Kathryn could hack through the lockouts quickly enough to harm Seska, and the odds were she wouldn’t get the phaser form the Cardassian as easily as the Cardassian had gotten the phaser from her.  She couldn’t take Seska in hand-to-hand combat—Cardassians were known to be stronger than humans.  She had to be trickier.

 

Lying on the floor, she quickly formulated her plan.

 

            Janeway slowly worked the ropes from her arms.  She waited on the floor a second, allowing circulation to return to her joints.  She would have only one shot at this.

 

            Finally, she sprung to her feet.

 

            Seska whirled around with a cry at the sudden movement, and raised her phaser to shoot.  Janeway was too quick, and avoided the phaser shot that ricocheted off the wall behind her.  She darted across the shuttle and threw herself against the control panel on the opposite wall.  Janeway grasped firmly onto the wall, and Seska raised the phaser again, amazed that Janeway would stand in place and make herself such an easy target.  Before she had a chance to fire, Janeway slammed her hand upon the console, and the airlock door to Seska’s side suddenly sprung open, revealing the black vacuum of space.  She saw the horror cross Seska’s face only briefly before the other woman dropped her phaser and made a desperate grab for a handhold.  The Cardassian’s long, dark hair was the first thing to whip up into the air as though in a strong wind.

 

Janeway felt a sudden wind lifting her feet from the ground, and only her firm hold on the wall kept her from being blown out along with the oxygen suddenly fleeing out into the vacuum of space.  Seska screamed, the sound muffled as the oxygen that carried it was sucked out of the shuttle, and suddenly the Cardassian was sent careening through the air—she hadn’t grabbed anything to hold in time.  She thrashed helplessly as she flew towards the airlock.  The scream abruptly faded as Seska disappeared out the airlock into the vacuum of space, and Janeway, suddenly feeling the pressure of the gasses within her own body straining against the reduced pressure in the shuttle, slammed her hand back down on the console to shut the airlock again.

 

As soon as the airlock slammed closed, she sank onto the floor of the shuttle, suddenly weak with exertion and oxygen deprivation.  It took her many minutes to pull herself back up to her shaky feet, and she almost vomited when she noticed the unmistakable redness of Cardassian blood spattered across the window outside.  It probably had frozen immediately, upon the explosion of Seska’s body.

 

“ Regenerate after that,” Janeway muttered to herself.  She lowered herself into the pilot’s seat, and with trembling hands began the tedious process of hacking through Seska’s navigation lockouts.  With enough time, she regained control of the shuttle, and set a course back to Voyager.

 

 

 

 

            Janeway stopped this time, interested in what Chakotay would think of the events she’d related.  He was silent, his expression unreadable.  When he noticed her silence, he gestured for her to continue.  Disappointed that he was offering her no insight into the current turn of his thoughts, Janeway continued.

 

 

 

 

            The next year passed uneventfully, at least with regards to the mission.  Seska was dead; I knew what I needed to.  Every day, we got closer and closer to the Iconian portal.  I was optimistic.  When we encountered that wormhole, and those damn Ferengi collapsed it, I didn’t let it upset me.  Less than a thousand light years more, and we’d be on our way home.  And it was good timing, in my mind.  After that Vorick pon-farr debacle, when you and I saw that Borg corpse, I knew it was time to steer clear of this quadrant.  When we actually reached Borg space, and encountered Species 8472, this belief was only reaffirmed.

 

            I was soon troubled.  We were at the approximate coordinates of the Iconian portal, the coordinates related to me by Admiral Hayes.  I had Tuvok constantly scan the sectors, under the pretense that we were watching for Borg activity.  Two weeks passed, and we never detected any trace of the portal.  I couldn’t sleep.  I had to keep myself occupied.  I created the Da Vinci holoprogram to divert myself from this constant state of fear, and it worked for the most part.  Then we got into the mess with Species 8472, and Tuvok and I ended up on the Borg ship, working with the Borg.  I immediately identified Seven of Nine as a fount of knowledge, and I took the chance to inquire with this drone about the Iconian Empire.

 

 

 

            “Species 4118, Iconian,” the drone clipped.  “ Borg memory is fragmented from this time period, but we know this species presided over an empire spanning across approximately 75.6% of the known galaxy.”

 

            Janeway blinked.  “That’s quite a number.  What happened to them?”

 

            Seven of Nine stared at her unblinkingly.  “ They foolishly devoted their resources towards the destruction of the Borg.”  The drone caulked her head, eyes chillingly absent.  “They added to our perfection.”

 

            Heavy stuff. 

 

            Seven of Nine began to walk to another console; the drone was not inclined to participate in conversation, but this was not an issue Janeway would allow to slide.

 

She took a breath, and ventured,  “ It sounds like you have some first hand knowledge of this species.”

 

            “ You are correct,” Seven of Nine replied matter-of-factly.  “ Approximately forty-nine days ago we encountered a primitive slipstream portal once used by Species 4118 to interconnect separate sectors of their empire.”

 

            Janeway sharply drew in her breath.  That was it.  That. Was. It.  That’s the portal she’d been searching for the past four years.  That’s the portal that would get them home.

 

            The world seemed to slow to a stop around her.  She could hear her heart pounding in her ears as she asked,  “And what did the Borg do when they found it?”

 

            Seven turned a cold eye to her.  “We deconstructed the portal and assimilated the technology.  Borg transwarp is a far more efficient method of travel.”  The drone turned back to the monitor and resumed to her work, oblivious to the stricken look on the human woman’s face.

 

 

            It didn’t hit Kathryn Janeway at first that her only method of getting the crew home was gone.  After Seven of Nine was severed from the collective, Janeway threw herself into developing the other woman’s humanity.  She spent her passion on seeing the young drone grow into a human being.  She had philosophical discussions with Leonardo Da Vinci.  She fought the Hirogen.  She cut her hair.

 

            She forced herself not to think about this thwarted goal, to assume the role of a captain who’d always known she had a seventy-five year journey ahead of her.  Silently, she applauded herself for dealing well with the situation.  She didn’t realize that even as she congratulated herself for her fortitude, she was changing.  Her expression was growing harder, her thoughts embittered.  Her very outlook on life soured, and her relationships with her friends, with Tuvok, especially with Chakotay, disintegrated.  She tried to open up the magic of humanity to Seven of Nine even while resenting her own.  She tried to show Seven the wonders of life without actually marveling at it herself.  And at the end of the day, when it came down to it, she was teetering on the brink of a collapse.