What they say/mean
You want = You want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.
I just need some space = ...without you in it.
Can you help me with my homework? = If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me.
Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while.
No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard.
I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just do not want (you as a) boyfriend now
I don't know; what do you want to do? = I can't believe that you have nothing planned
Come here = My puppy does this too.
I like you but... = I don't like you.
You never listen = You never listen.
We're moving too quickly = I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy in Bio has a girlfriend.
I'll be ready in a minute = I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.
Oh, no, I will pay for myself = I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch
I'm just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends
There's no one else = I am doing your brother.
Size doesn't count... = unless I want an orgasm.
It is just orange juice, try it. = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head.
She's kind of cute = I want to bang her till I am blue.
I don't know if I like her = She won't blow me.
I need you = My hand is tired.
I had her = I had (wet dreams about) her all week.
I really want to get to know you better = ...so I can tell my friends about it.
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small?
You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who has not rejected me.
I want you back = ...for tonight anyway.
We've been through so much together = If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity.
I miss you so much = I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good.
No, I do not want to dance right now = Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on.
The break-up should not start for another 24 hours = I want to have sex a few more times.
