PAIRING : not specified, but most are Buffy/Angel

RATING : some are NC17

SPOILERS : none really

NOTE : I own all these poems. They do *not* mention Buffy/Angel but were inspired by the characters. These are *mine* and are currently being copyrighted.

WARNINGS : a few mention suicide or violence

ALSO NOTE THAT : any numbers after the poems (/) is the date it was written. Some I don’t know. They were all written last year, 2000.

hush (2/8)

the moonlight shines down
upon the puddle
there is not reflection
he stalks you by this moonlight
slinking through the shadows
following you, unaware
you cannot see him
and he makes no sound

hush, is the night
that claims your life

thedemoninside

there is a demon inside
who'll chase you
until there is nowhere
to hide
he feeds off your fears
he stalks by moonlight
never having seen
the sun,
never has it's rays touched
his skin
he is a demon
and she shows
no remorse of guilt
and he claims your life
he is cold
and his eyes are ice
he will not love you
he cannot offer you
emotion nor kindness
and you're kidding
yourself if you try
to overcome
the demon inside...

myface (3/23)

it hides me from the world
shields my pain
and serves as a constant
reminder, i do not belong here
i am not one of you
how can you pretend that i am?
my face reminds me
of what i am
what i was
a monster
what i could be again
i must never
forget
how can i?
my face
would never
allow my true
nature to be
forgotten

breathe (3/23)

i cannot breathe
i am gasping for air
my lungs are on fire
and i cannot breathe
i thought you knew
you belong to me
i didn’t know
you were lying
when you promised forever
i watch you leave
and I cannot breathe
i thought you knew
we belong to each other
i thought you believed me
when i said
it didn’t matter to me
a life without the physical
it never mattered
we are from different
love is transcendent
and you ask me to forget
i thought you understood
that a life without you
is not worth living
and so i’m watching you go
and i’m happy
i cannot
breathe

pleading (3/23)

take me life
let death come
i’m not afraid
to answer
the constant rapping
on my door,
let it come
i welcome it,
beg it
to come
answer my prayers
take my life
drink it from me
take it into you body
and let me become
part of you
let me live forever
in your veins
take away my pain
i beg
feed from me
take my life
take me with you
to forever
where we can
be together
please
take my life
and give me forever
like you promised…

goodbyes (3/23)

here we sit
in silence
not knowing
how to say
goodbye
to each other
to forever
the life we
could never have
we sit
and the silence
eats my bleeding heart
how do i tell you
what words
will stop you
from saying
goodbye
i haven’t any
words you want
to hear
i hate you
hate you
for doing this
hate you for lying
hate you
for making me love you
so i have nothing
to say to you
and besides
the silence
shields the pain
that kills me
from within

worshipping the goddess (4/11)

when i'm not with her
the thought of her
makes me tingle
when i am
i want to take her in my arms
in my lips
and taste her beauty
i want to bow down
before her
and offer myself
as her faithful servant
give her my life, my love
my body, my everything
she makes me weak
so weak
vulnerable
and i love that feeling
of being helpless in her presence
vulnerability
a feeling i have
when she's with me
she's in control
and i can only
admire her, worship her
my lover, my queen
my Goddess
i worship
thee

together (4/7)

enter me
waves of emotion
excitement
wash over me
fill me
complete me
make me whole
enter inside
kiss me
dip into my warmth
let me give you the heat
that you lost
enter inside me
use my body
as a guide
to my soul
touch me
touch my fiery core
smell my arousal
my desire
touch me softly
kiss me hard
let me show you
how much i want you
twist and turn inside
reach deep
let me pull you inside
i’ll wrap my legs
around your waist
and pull you inside,
deep
thrust yourself inside
and forget about the
consequences
it brings
and we will die together

inside (5/2/00)

i can’t breathe
i’d scream if i could
but i can’t
i can only moan
and whimper
under his body
i run my nails on his back
and can feel his muscles,
forcing him inside
i wish i could tell him
how much i love him
how much i need him
but there are no words
i’ve only to open my legs
to him
to feel his hardness
enter my heat
and i can’t breathe
no words, we both know no words
he thrusts inside
farther every time
until he can’t go
any further
our bodies won’t allow it
sweat rolls down my forehead
his mouth descends upon mine
another intrusion
of my love in me
i want him
inside
i can’t get enough
of his body inside
i want him to be me
i can’t breathe
so many emotions
i can’t control
i don’t know where his
body ends and mine begins,
i close my eyes
explosions of colors
i’ve never seen
never dreamed
flash before my eyes
and i open them
and my angel
is above me
completing me
making me whole
complimenting
my body and soul
and we cry together
as we know what we have done
we cry because we don’t care
we both
needed to feel
each other
one more time
one more time
before I go
before he does
we cry because
we will
never find this much
joy and pain and love
in another
“ready?” he asks
and i nod
and he thrusts harder and harder
and i feel him
release his coolness into my heat
and it shocks and fills my body
and he enters
me once more
and i enter his veins
i become him, and he me
i can’t breathe now
i will never again
nor will he
his ashes fall upon me
rain upon my body
a rain full of his love for me
and we are free
from the demon
inside