PAIRING : Spike/ all the Buffy girls

RATING : NC17

SPOILERS : none

DISCLAIMER : I do not own these characters.

NOTES & WARNINGS: light Spike torture, Bobbit-ness, foul language, degrading sexual thoughts about woman by Spike and my sick sense of humor and some light incest

                I’m basically fucked either way you look at it, and I can’t figure out exactly where I went wrong. So I’ve got nothing better to do than relive the past few weeks of my life and figure out exactly when the hell I lost control of the situation. ‘Cause it certainly doesn’t look like I’m gonna be getting outta this anytime soon. I’ve never had such a captive audience. Captive. Funny.

                Okay, now let’s see. Three weeks ago. Valentine’s Day. I shagged Dru right good after kicking Harm the hell outta my place. And Dru was so bloody tight and wonderful. I remember making her scream and shriek with rapture as I ate her out. She tasted wonderful, a delicious treat I’d been long denied. Then we went hunting and I drank from a snapped neck, then we shagged some more. And I had sire-blood. Bloody good day that was.

                So I don’t see anything wrong with that. We had a good time.

                Perhaps what started this mess was when Dru zapped Slayer with the tazer. Although it was bloody funny, maybe it was wrong. And then of course I zapped Dru, so maybe that’s when this started. I tied them both up. Slayer wasn’t happy about that, neither was Sire. Neither was Harm. But still, I don’t think *that* would warrant all *this*.

                Okay, think Spike. Okay, after that day, Slayer told me to stay away, so I did. I may be insane, but I’m not stupid. Well, not completely anyway. So I stayed away and went out drinkin’ and that’s when I ran into Demongirl at the Bronze again. She was drunk and all upset because her and her Xannypoo had a fight. I got drunk off my ass and I vaguely remember the taste of her as I threw her onto her bed at her place.

                For a demon, she was a pretty good lay. Or so I remember.

                We both woke up and she realized what she’d done. And we did it again. Twice. Before I left.

                So I don’t see anything wrong with banging the Demongirl. ‘Snot like she didn’t want it. So it can’t be that.

                Few days later I was walkin’ through the park at night and heard screaming. I followed the sound of the voices and found the witches screamin’ at each other. I got in the middle of it and told them to quiet the fuck down, no need in attracting demon attention, right?

                Turns out Blondie thinks Red still harbors feelings for the male of the species. Blondie knew of Red and Xannypoo’s little tryst in high school, but apparently she’d just learned about their shagging after wolfboy left. Blondie wasn’t taking it well, and Red didn’t see what the big deal was. She said, “what does it matter if I wanted a little comfort after I got dumped?” And Blondie said, “But it was Xander. Dick isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.” And Red yelled back, “how would you know? You’ve never tried it.” And then Blondie yelled, “so what? Want me to just fuck someone so *you* can feel better?” And Red said, “Yes.”

                Then they both turn to look at me and my fuckin’ cock jumped to attention. The next thing I knew is we were back at the dorms and I had these two beautiful witches rippin’ my clothes the fuck off. There were tits and hands everywhere. They took turns sucking on my cock, and I ate ‘em out at least twice each. Then they both took turns riding me like a fucking circus bronco.

                When we’d all come as much as humanly and vampiricly possible, they turned to me and said, “you can let yourself out.” And then they started kissing and groping each other, ignoring me.

                So they had a good time, so it couldn’t have been that.

                A couple nights later I was walkin’ past Slayer’s house, when the door opened. “Come in for cocoa, Spike.” Slayer’s mom said. I shrugged and walked inside. I’m never one to pass up an invite.

                So I walked in and Joyce and I had cocoa with rum. We got talkin’ about her husband and past relationships. I told her about Dru and things we used to do. She listened and poured more rum into my cup as I told her about times when Dru sucked and fucked me into oblivion. I got hard just thinkin’ about those bloody times.

                And I suppose, givin’ how my week was goin’, that I ended up bein’ pulled up to her room. She tore at my clothes and attacked me. Slayer’s mom was wild. She sunk down onto my cock and rode me like she’d never had sex. She clawed at me, and sucked me like a fuckin’ pro.

                She had a good time. So that couldn’t be the cause of my current state of being fucked either way.

                Not Drusilla, not Demongirl, not the witches, and not Slayer Mom. So then a coupla days after that, I’m walkin’ around and end up at the Bronze, where I find the slayer rather tipsy. I asked her what happened and she told me, “Today’s my one year anniversary with Riley.”

                So I figured that since my cock’s been dippin’ a lot, might as well go for it. If you can’t kill her, fuck her. So I bought her a bunch of drinks and she started getting’ all shmoozy on me. She slid closer to me on the couch and grabbed my cock through my jeans. She straddled my thighs and started grinding against me. I asked her if she wanted to go back to my place and she said, “Why the hell not?”

                So there I was, banging the slayer into the bloody marble floor of my crypt. I fucked her for the better part of an hour and then she sucked me off a coupla times. After that, I walked her home. I got her into bed and I started to leave when Joyce opened her door and invited me in.

                I’m not one to refuse an invite to shag a beautiful woman, so we went at it for a few hours. I left ten minutes before dawn, and when I got back to my crypt, Harmony was laying chained to the bed, naked. She sad she thought it over and could forgive me. And I gotta admit that my cock was pretty sore at this time cause the slayer and her mother both have strong muscles and they’d squeezed me pretty good. But she went to all the trouble of chainin’ herself up and all, so I climbed on and took her for the ride of her life.

                So both Slayer and Joyce had a good time. Harm came to me. So I don’t think it was that day.

                Harm left as dusk to go feed and I wanted to watch my shows, so I stayed in. Not twenty minutes into “Winter’s Night”, the door opens. I watch as Demongirl comes in, stands right in fronta Pacey and Joey, and strips. She’s wearing tassels on her tits and a strap on dildo. And okay, yes, I love pussy like the next, but I *did* live with Angelus, the Poncy Scourge of Europe, for thirty years, so I strip down butt naked and she pounded into *me*. It was nice, not as rough as Angelus though, which was a nice switch.

                After that, I fucked her up the ass and then in her hot, little, begging, quim. She left after a few hours of ruttin’. And again, *she* came to *me* so I’m not at fault.

                So the next day, I’m laying in my crypt when the door opens at 3:30 in the afternoon. It’s Slayer’s sister. So we get talkin’ and I asked her why she always comes over. She looked at me and said, “’cause you tell me stuff honest, not like everyone else.” And I asked her what she wanted to know. She asked me what it was like to kiss someone. I told her that it’s kinda wet, and exciting and if the person knows what he’s doing, it’s bloody heaven. And she looked at me and said, “do *you* know what you’re doing?” So I said, “hell yeah. You don’t live a century without learnin’ how to bloody kiss a woman.”

                And she looked at me and asked, “will you show me?” So I said, “I’d need someone to kiss.” And the slayer’s little sister crawled over to me and climbed into my lap. I felt her tongue touch my lips and so I started kissin’ her cause she was obviously curious. Things got pretty hot, surprisingly, and I deepened the kiss. She was kissin’ me back and I realized that she’s not the Slayer’s kid sister; she’s a bloody seductress. Suddenly, she pulled away and said, “something's happening.” I asked her what it was and she got all red-like and crawled off me.

                “What?” I asked again. And then I smelled it. I asked her how old she was and she answered, “fifteen.” Then, I explained that when a person gets aroused, your body starts to react. I had a long talk with her about sex, and what happens. Then she asked me what it feels like and I was just about to answer when the door opened. The witches came in and said that Slayer was lookin’ for little sister.

                She left and the witches locked the crypt door. Red said something in Latin and I found myself flying back towards the bed. They used the same fuckin’ chains Harmony used, to chain me to the bed. Then they proceeded to fuck me all afternoon.

                So I don’t think anything was wrong with that.

                Okay, so the next day, Little Spud comes in again. She was wearin’ a red dress. She walked up to me and pushed me back. She crawled on top of me and said she watched me and the witches from the window all afternoon. She said, “I took *very* good notes, and now is time for the final exam.”

                I’d forgotten how good it feels to fuck virgins. Now, I do have to think about this a little bit. I wasn’t mean. I was a bloody gentleman. I made sure she came before I even stuck my dick inside her. She was good and wet when I slid in. And I didn’t even go in all the way cause it hurt her a little. But after she got over that, she was screaming and screeching my name, just like Mommy and Sister dearest. *And* I didn’t even come inside her. I don’t see what’s wrong with that? Not like I raped the chit, she knew what she was doin’ and I was all nice and everything.

                She even fell asleep in my arms for a coupla hours. She woke up and I rubbed her back a bit while she told me about school. Then she got up and dressed. She thanked me and I told her anytime. Then she left. No problem there.

                So it wasn’t Dru, Demongirl, Red, Blondie, Joyce, Harm, Slayer, or Spud. That covers it though. Except for… okay, but this wasn’t my doing either.

                I was sitting watching these three witch girls on TV, whining about the power of three or some shit like that. The door opened and I was perfectly happy for a distraction because that show's like a bloody train wreck, you can’t *not* watch.

                The witches walked in and start feelin’ me up, which is fine. I shut the tele off and we all get naked. Then the door opened and Demongirl walks in. At first she’s surprised, but then gets naked and starts playin’ with Blondie’s tits. After they left, I got dressed and found Spud’s English book on the floor. I decided to take it to her.

                I knocked on the door and Joyce answered. She called up for Spud, and then pushed me against the door and started attacking me with her mouth. Spud came down and screamed, “MOM!”

                So at that point, I was thinking, fuck. Then the slayer came down and *that’s* when things get fuzzy. I remember a lota screamin’ and a cat fight between mother and daughters. I was happy enough to watch, until the Witches and Demongirl barge in. Oh fuck, I remember thinkin’.

                So they were bein’ chased by Dru and Harm, who are standing outside the door. Double fuck.

                After that, things got dark.

                “SPIKE!” I blink and look around. Things *really* don’t look good for me.

                “What?” I say.

                “What do you have to say for yourself? And don’t make us ask again.” I feel a little more holy water run down my back and I pull on the chains, trying to break free. But I’m helpless. I’m naked and chained to the ceiling in my crypt, surrounded by all the quims I’ve been filling lately.

                “Think carefully, Spike.” Blondie says. “These words might be your last.”

                “The moon peeps and howls at naughty Spike.” Dru coos. Harm kisses her to calm her and returns her glare at me.

                “I’m sorry.” I say.

                “That’s not good enough!” Joyce says.

                “Did you think we wouldn’t find out?” Slayer asks.

                “Did you think we wouldn’t care?” Red asks.

                “I’m sorry!” I say again, this time a little louder.

                “YOU’RE SORRY FOR FUCKING MY SISTER?” Slayer yells. “ARE YOU SORRY FOR THAT? SHE’S FIFTEEN!” She screams at me.

                “She wanted it.” I say.

                “Wrong answer.” Joyce says as she spills the rest of the water over my chest.

                I scream and howl in pain as it drips down onto my cock. “THAT BLOODY HURTS!”

                “I told you it was gonna hurt a lot.” Slayer says. “Didn’t I?”

                “Please, I’m sorry.” I plead with them all.

                “No.” Dru says. “Nothing can save you now.”

                “What do you want me to say? I’m scum. I’m horrible. I’m evil. I’m a vampire. I’m sorry!” But I know Dru is right.

                Slayer walks to me and runs a finger up my cock. “Just relax.” She says and for the next thirty minutes, I watch as they fuck and suck each other off at least twice. My cock is throbbin’ because of what I’m seeing, and their scents in the air. I can pick each one out of the air.

                After a while, they all stand and walk towards me with lust in their eyes. They start rubbing all over me and I’m covered in their cum and saliva as they lick and suck me. I’m rock hard, but no one touches my cock. “PLEASE!” I scream. “Touch my cock. I don’t care how.”

                Slayer smiles and before I know it, she’s taken a knife and- “BLOODYFUCKINGHELL!” My cock falls on the floor and all the blood that was in it is gushing onto the floor. I’m screaming bloody murder when I feel something through my tongue. A needle or some sort. Then something else that’s burning. “AAAAAHHHHHH!” I scream and howl, growl and try to escape. My tongue splits in two and bleeds into my mouth.

                They all get dressed and Slayer holds a rope. “Soaked it in holy water.” She says. She kicks my cock across the floor. “Guess you won’t be screwing us all over again. Will you?” She shrugs and walks away.

                BLOODY HELL! What did I *do*?

~el fin~