AUTHOR: dru's bitch
(CED's sister is making a small appearance to give a 'different' perspective!)
SERIES : Death Was Her Gift
PAIRING : no pairings, just
Buffy saying goodbye
RATING : PG14
SPOILERS : "The Gift"
DISCLAIMER : I do not own these
characters.
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In the dark of a new moon they lay under the stars, fire
holding onto her breath, her air. They
two lay and stared for hours. They had
been there since it happened and neither could bear the thought of going back
to the reality of a life without their friend.
"Will,
I...I..." Tara broke the silence with her small voice.
"Shhh...It's
ok, I know. Look at the stars. They are shining for her."
Two more
hours passed and only Willow's tears and Tara's soft "shhh" broke the
silence. She held onto her fire as she
fell asleep, it had only been one day since they lay Buffy to rest. After everything she did, she is finally at
peace.
Buffy
lay on the grass beside them, the stars danced across her eyes and she listened
to Tara comforting Willow. The first
friend she had that wasn't fake. Up
until Wil and Xander she had never known true friendship. Willow knew who she was and loved her
anyway. "I love you, my little
witches. Forever."
He sat
on the top step of the stairway, looking down into "Scooby
Central". How many fights had that
room seen. How many late nights had
there been three friends sitting down there at his table pouring over old dusty
books looking for answers. What
atrocities had been thwarted right here in this very dwelling? Demons had broken in, vampires had lain
their victims here, ghosts banished, and all the while there was one constant -
Buffy. He was her Watcher, no, he was
her friend and more, Buffy was his daughter.
He took on the job her real father didn't want, and elished every moment
of it. He felt it when she was happy,
upset, hiding something. Giles knew how
crazy she hought he was when she heard about his love for singing and
music. He knew how school was and what
she hoped to do after school. He knew
when she lost the battle and he saw it in her eyes when she won the war. But above all those things, he always knew
she would be walking through his front door with a new demon to fight or even
just to rave about the sale at the mall.
But now as he took out the song he wrote for her, he had to face that
his door would no longer open on her golden yellow hair.
Buffy
sat on the step beside him and ran her fingers over the words on the page. No one had ever written anything about her
and now it wouldn't be a tale of her death that the council would immortalize
her for, it would be her song. Her song
her father wrote for her.
Candles
blazed and the fireplace roared, but the only sound in the apartment was the
sound of his crying. He sat on the
floor, curled up in the bend of the couch and held on to the sweater she had
forgotten there only a week before. It
still held onto the memory of her scent; a bit of lavender, night air and her
shampoo - Pantene. Anya watched from
across the room as Xander squeezed the fabric in his hands, he cried as he had
been for nearly two days now. She
didn't realize he could hurt so much, or that she could. She had been holding him and had gotten up
two hours ago to try and get him to eat something, when she came back with the
soup she found him curled up like that on the floor...he didn't even look up
anymore when she spoke his name.
Buffy
wrapped her arms around Xander and held him while he cried, poor Anya, so much
death and she doesn't know how to help him.
"Just love him, love him the way you do."
Her
room. It was always her room. No one had to create it, make it her room
when once it wasn't. Her bed, her
books, her clothes - they are all real.
She died and they are still here.
Would mine be? Dawn sat on
Buffy's bed surrounded by all her big sisters blankets and stuffed
animals. She had been laying there
reading over her journal entries for the past year, were they real? When was she "made", when she flips
back in the book, when does the writing stop being hers and become some bit of
fiction that the monks created? If she
had gotten to take her turn and close the portal the way she wanted it would be
her in that cold dirt. Or would it? What happens to a key when it is all used
up? Would anyone have been sitting here
mourning her, or would it have all been reversed like a bad deja vu that no one
can explain? "Now I will never
know. My sister, my friend, my beloved
Buffy is no more. Your hair, your skin
and bones, they are all gone."
Dawn sat and cried into a picture of the two of them on a beach she had
probably never really seen. "I won't feel your kiss on my cheek at
night and you won't hug me when it hurts to be me.....You know I love you
so."
Buffy
watched her transparent hand glide across Dawn's cheek trying to brush away the
tears of pain that her death had put there.
"You know I love you so much."
In the
dark red of his bedroom was where he sat, he had been there for two days. Two days since he watched them close the lid
over her radiant beauty. Two days since
he sat in the shadows of his car as they lowered her into the ground beside her
mother. He ignored the first few knocks
on his door, he wanted to be alone, to sit and realize that he had left her. He had burnt down the bridges between them
and drawn a line and dared her not to cross it. He wanted her to have so much in life, to have a life at all -
and now it was gone. He had denied her
the happiness she had wanted and for what?
He should have jumped in and swam across for her, she asked him if
forever would work for him, he should have said yes.
She
caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. "I am still your girl."
The grass had the first fleck of dew forming on it when
he came and knelt before her stone. He
had been numb for days, even double doses of the usual alcoholic dietary
supplements weren't helping. She never
loved him, but it didn't matter, he made a promise to himself to protect her
forever. She was his shining beauty,
the yellow sunlight that couldn't burn him.
She thought it was purely lust, if only she had known. He tried to save Dawn, to end it before it
began, but he failed and now his light was gone. The sun would shine no more.
He sat there talking to her, telling her about the stupid trivial things
of Dawn's day. Not that it had been
much, little one just wanted to sit in Buffy's room, but Spike told Buffy of
all the things they talked about. He
would never let her down, he is immortal and with that he promised to protect
Dawn until her last breath, and to himself promised to take care of any Summers
children that might come from that life.
He had even set a resolve to protect the Red and the witch, Anya and
even the lug Xander. They were all part
of Buffy, she protected them all with her life....for us she bled herself dry.
Buffy kissed Spike's cheek as he cried. She would be there listening every night
when he came, and she would be there to witness it all by Dawn's side in the
daylight where he couldn't go. She
watched as he got up to avoid the first rays of light and as he walked away
crying crimson tears she whispered "For you I bleed myself dry."
"Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do"
For Buffy
~El Fin~
Onto the next part : Her Gift in His Arms
Back to the Home of Death Was Her Gift
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