With the wonderful help of Roger Nissim and Nigel Stearns the Ladies Night was conducted on the magnificent 75th floor of Central Plaza with beautiful food supplied by the Hong Kong Cricket Club. All the ladies turned up beautifully dressed, as always, and in high spirits. Prior to the dinner, time was made to catch up on chitchat with those who were last seen a year ago!
After the first course, captain Joan cracked a joke that was not funny at all, a bit like Weatherman's biscuits joke at Mission Road in 1990 (those interested to hear this joke could contact Weatherman/or myself - the joke was so far from 'funny' that I remembered every word of it!!). The Captain being the captain, always has a reserve plan. After the frozen response to his first 'joke', he then managed some laughs with his "F-word" top 10. My personal favourite was Joan of Arc. After reading aloud Jan Freeman's email message and being forced to disclose to everyone that I need reading glasses, I started sharing my difficult experience of being the Captain's wife. To prove the point, he then blamed me for not telling a joke rather than referring to real-life snap shots. I told him that is why it is called ladies' night and to bugger off or I would show him the 11th most appropriate time in history to use the 'F word'!
Kate (Docherty) was then invited to tell us if Grant was in fact the 'whimp' we suspected following his failure to perform after the 'pseudo hair-line fracture' of his pinky. The truth was that the pain was just an excuse for a family skiing holiday. Liz (Williams) then told us how putting the wrong shoes on could alter someone's sexual preference - I am now a bit worried, as its time for Doug to buy a new pair of cricket shoes! Julie (Atkinson) told us how powerful imagination could be and it would be wonderful if the Pakistan and Israel suicide fighters would employ this as a tactic of war. Sarah (Eames) was then allowed the opportunity to defend herself for keeping Mark away from the two most important cup games and Clare (Stearns) told us that Nigel in fact did not tell her that he played cricket until their Wedding day! In a complete turn around from the previous year, Jana Lamplough said she would like George to play more games next year! George's mum (Dorothy) and aunt (Zeta) expressed their strong support for cricket and we were really delighted to have their company for the evening.
To our relief, Priscilla (Nissim) did not consider cricket as her number 1 enemy anymore but she said 4 games was the maximum number per year that she'd like Roger to play! Well, I will do my best to change her mind. Elizabeth (Weatherley) the superb sandwich maker finally spoke. The secret behind Weatherman's brilliant bowling was a huge breakfast in bed with foot and shoulder massage every Saturday morning. Well, I am very happy that Doug does not have the ability to bowl at all! The Grocer's better half, Anita Miles disclosed that her love for cricket has absolutely nothing to do with Grocer's cricket ability (or lack of). Nor was there much encouragement from him. Natasha was in fact the real cricketer in the family.
I considered the evening a huge success, as every lady spoke! The sharing session was then followed by more wine and more jokes. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all ladies for their brilliant participation last Saturday night and I look forward to seeing more of you during the next season. Finally, on behalf of all ladies, I would again like to propose a toast to all C.C.C. players and the Club and wish them all many successful, happy and wonderful seasons to come.
Alice Jones (sister of Joan)
P.S. Here is my reserved joke that was left out :
Two Middle Eastern girls were walking down a Jerusalem high street in their long flowing robes. One girl turns to her mate and says, "Here .. does my bomb look big in this?" |
