 |
|
| ".Time"'..........."that seems to be all I have," was my reply to my son when he told me, " he had no time left.' He had taken an overdose. The depression had taken it's toll.. Now, after 2 days in the hospital he's started to fight again. The seizure activity continues, his children are back with their mother for the winter. His days are usually spent sleeping , sitting quietly listening to his music or using the computer when he has enough energy. Computer's can be a poblem for him as they can bring on seizure activity. He can usually tell if it is starting to cause him problems and stop though. Through the internet he is able to escape into the world he dreams about. On a drive this past summer, with his children in the back seat. His daughter said. " daddy," "I wish you could drive ,so we wouldn't always have to wait for people when we want to go places together." Holding back the tears, I tried to just listen and let them have this time together. Daddy answered, "you don't know how much I want that too." We are hoping someday," "Hayley," I couldn't keep from saying. The independence a drivers licences's gives us is incomprehensible for most people. We take it for granted that we are able to drive. We can just get in our car an go. We don't have to call someone to ask if they could take us here or there..or just to the store to pick up a few item's when we find our selves Hungery. The freedom we have when we can drive, the independence. A Young man turns 16 and his biggest desire is to get a drivers licence. To be able to drive to school, pick up your girl-friend, take your kids to school as time passes on. My son truned 16 and underwent his first brain suregery with hopes to controll the seizures, so he may be able to drive. Now don't get me wrong , my son is a excellent driver and mechanic. He has had his own truck sence he was 16. He just sold his last one..(his someday mud bogging truck.) He has taken me on some pretty wild rides through the years also. He likes to try to go where no man has gone before, the problem is we usually get stuck on are way there.. He say's "thats the fun part". I think it was last summer when we had to walk for miles out of the woods before hitting the main road.,We came across a place that was selling ice cream, here we were, hitching hiking, eating our ice cream cones. It was a great day together. He got his truck out several days laters thanks to some friends. Now he trys to walk to most of the places he wants to go. Trying to keep his strenght up for the up and coming surgery. He's holding onto the little bit of independence he has. But, the walking even drains him most days. At 25, he pretty much has to depend on others to provide the transportation though.. He was riding his bike until it became to dangerous. He had a seizure while riding and almost went through a red light. He ended up in the ditch, luckly there were some men around working on the road to help him. He has now limited himself to where he will walk because he is aware he could have a seizure at anytime and he needs to be near areas where are people out and about. That way if he has a seizure someone will notice him and get the help he may need. This young man has experienced allot of loss in his young life due to his health.... Unable to drive..unable to work.....unable to live near his children, unable to participate in the everyday normal demands and activities. Yet, he remains a Loving, Brave, Virbrant young man. If anyone deservers a miracle, He he does at this point in his life. To have his seizures controlled would be a true miracle, I can not find the words to express what it would mean for him to become seizure free . Though the Joy would be unbeliveable and it would touch many lives, as he has. Speaking of unbeliveable, These past few months have been unbeliveable to say the least. My house was broken into. My car was stolen while I was working, along with my pures, check book, credit cards .everything...After 3 days, my car was found.. The person abandoned my car outside a bar. The police impounded it, and then wanted to charge me to get it out. ( that's a entire page in itself.) The only items left in my car were my serenity coin, which has the serenity prayer on the back of it...I have it taped to my dash. I was presented with this coin when I finished my 28 day recovery stay. Laying in the drivers seat was the note card I had stuck on my viser. ...It read...I asked God how much he loved me, he said this much, and stretched out his arms and died. I once again felt the presence of God and was comforted with the reminder. he is control in spite of all the situations that abound.. My car was left with a full tank of gas. This person was able to write over $500.00 in checks on my account. No investagation has followed. I still have the person's finger print's, they were left on several items that were not mine in the car. I plan to follow up with this matter in the near future. I just don't have the energy to do anymore with it at the present moment. |
| ~ TIME ~ |
 |
 |