Darkness seaps into the desolent eye Inner workings wither and die Why?...Can't I ...

Alone..so cold yet none would see Ravenous screams call out to me Why?...Can't I ..be free?

Help is no where.. Send death back to it's lair Why? Do I care?...

(begins to scratch at the skin on her right arm, her dirty nails beginning to singe the newly clean skin away, while over and over she tries to penetrate the feeling)

Everyone is off into their worlds of homemade... Has'nt my debt been paid? Why?..Can't I just leave the winds and fade?

The sands of forelorn escaped through passages of pain.. Through my eyes of steel, bring on the rain Why?...Can't I feel anything but distain?

(turns the quill over and begins to look upon the feather frays, she picks at each until there is nothing left but the stem of nakedness peering back at her)

--Journal Entry, 1 January, Katriah.

(sits down in the boat, grabbing what remains of her journal, she takes a breath noticing the little birdy awaken, as she smiles over to her "Well good morning Squirt" Raven wipes her eyes and looks up with a furrowing look "Ah es not Squirt, ah es RAFIN lyke liddle berdy dat flies!", she spoke through the tooth quarter in her upper set of canines. Chastity chuckles at this one's will and nodded just the same "Squirt is a pet name..it is not a bad pet name, you should hear some of mine." Raven smiles semi-toothless. "Ah wan cookie..cookie cookie cookie!" Chas shakes her head and places her right hand to her temple and nods "You can not keep eating just cookies, one's diet must consist of something more then cookies, Raven." Raven looks up and scuntches her nose "But dats wot you eat" Chastity grumbles and shakes her head 'DO NOT DO WHAT I DO, DO AS I SAY.' slowly instructs her to sit in the corner. She whimpers but does as told, Chastity gets up taking her journal away onto the main deck, as she looks out over towards Eden's ship close by, with the journal onto her knees, she writes a bit unsteady)

Dear Journal:
Now I have a child to tend for....how did this happen? her endless questions of why drives me crazy, milestones you say? bah is my response. She reminds me of her father. Insolent, mean, yet cute as hell at times. What am I to do with her? I simply can not cast her away, too much history...none know. Alls she will eat are cookies, whether they be off the floor or half eaten, she cares not. Yesturday I caught her tying a knot in the cat's tail...and picking the feathers off a bird, so she could produce her "Home made wings" What kind of child is this? was I that bad when I was young?...Mayhaps tis why my mother died when delievering me....I was a bad seed from the start, what kind of soul kills their own mother? it drove my father to his grave, for he could not even look at me....the faint memories I had were of him and his booze, yelling and slamming things around, "Chastity, you..are evil. Its your fault you god damned wench" through the eyes of a six year old I believed, and still do...when I look upon my life now, I see how horrible I am, and he was right I am a god damned wench. Was it my fault he drowned in a liquored state?....yes I know I seen him fall, but whom was I really to get?...he deserved to die. At least Raven is a girl, she would understand. But will I turn out like my father? ..no, it's the reason I do not drink often. Will Raven turn out like her father?...."Like berdy that flys" With these wings, we shall explore. Through the eyes of babes.

(Raven begins to wander over and looks up at Chastity "Chassy ah learneded mah lesson." Chas perks a brow and looks at her sideways "And what lesson is that My little bird?" Raven beams hearing that, "Yah ah am ah berdy Rafin!" flaps her homemade wings and prances about chocolate curls spiral behind "Ah learneded dat ah not back talk yah, no mer soap eider...ah just eat cookies from Dome den and preten taw eat wot yah cook, kay?" chas blinks at her ingenuity. "Raven, it is not that I do not wish you to have cookies, but ye need some meat on those bones..and cookies arent healthy...I do not want anything to happen to you, Child." Raven coyly looks up and her sharp tongue pierces "Ah knew yah cared taw, ifen yah say yah can't be mah mommy eider." she pauses and smiles devilishly "Yah es bones taw..yer clothes are too loose, yah shoulnt beh eatin cookies eider den" she skips about her way going back into the main cabin, and sitting down to eat what Chassy made her, Chas sits there with a blank expression)

Well she must get her brains from me, *chuckles as she pauses from writing and continues* I know I havent been taking care of myself...but there are reasons for such...I just dont want to, I am tired. Yes I do care for the squirt, its true...how could I not?...well I better get back off to get something accomplished today, maybe I will go clean the manor.

Sincerely:
Chastity D. De'Kartan
First entry of the New Year

Here I break my habit and make another entry. I find it easier to write this time, confessing to a piece of blank paper is easier than trying to find a human being. I haven't made a lot of friends you know, maybe because I'm not the friendly type .. still .. I discovered something .. with Attrei .. a few days ago.

I discovered how effective a mask can be, how easily people arefooled by what you have on display, disregarding the depth of your soul. I have smiled and sang and they think I'm happy .. I have danced and drank with them and they think I'm happy. If only they knew, but they don't and it's good. No one wants to know, no one would like to, no one would dare. I see a star shining up in the night.

--Journal Entry, January 1, Raven Nightwind.

Fred Journal. By Fred. Midget left. Fred alone.

----------
Fred ache.
Fred pine.
Fred hunger.

Fred not able to get George out of Fred mind.
Fred look for George.
Fred not find him yet.

Fred not stop looking though.
Fred ride tonight!

Fred goed to Bazaar and knock on Slave shop door.
Shop not open late.
Shop open first thing tomorrow.
Fred be there.

Fred going to plunk down Fred gold and buy little gift for George.
Fred going to buy George nice collar.
George will wear Fred collar.
George will wear just Fred collar.
No pants for George.
George not need pants with Fred in George life.

~Fred grin gaptoothed and drool on journal~

George will look pretty in collar.
Ramza_Griffith{F}
F is for Fred.

Fred grow more hot and more bothered.
Fred lick palm, pet him 3 hairs down over forehead.
Fred look rugged.
Fred put on leather and cruise Crystal Shores tonight.

Looking for Fred's George.

If not Fred's George then Fred find substitute.
But just tonight.
Because Fred will not stop until Fred find FRED's GEORGE
The one with Manly Scent on Chastity Parchment.
--Journal Entry, 2 January, Fred the Orc.

"takes a quick break at the Boutique after getting a late start this morning...she closes the door t the office and sits down with a cup of coffee and pulls the journal to her"

Went home early last night after that outbreak at Dome. Alexis Astera...first impression of her=she belongs at the docks. Now it seems she has a husband who has no clue how she has been acting at dome. First impression of him= he is an idiot. He thinks he can walk in and tell me i'm of ill-repute and ask how much I charge. Well, he got my dagger in his forehead. He is lucky i didnt just kill him. Then that sleaze Alexis charges me. "smirks" They ended up running away.

Anyways i went home shortly afterwards. I woke my husband up But didnt mention what had happened at dome. Went home early and ended up oversleeping this morning. I should have been up and at the Boutique hours earlier. Eh well, Im not staying late tonight to make up for it. Inventory is about finished and all the orders have been delivered. So I plan to leave early this eve.

I still dont know what he wants to do about building a manor here. We started discussing it at dome earlier last eve. I couldnt believe what he did. We hadnt had much chance to discuss things since the night we got married. And he invites Hestia to join us at our table. That was rude. I bit my tongue and didnt say anything BUT i made it damn clear she was intruding. Yes I was rude But he shouldnt have invited her to join us. We have things to discuss and I dont think it concerns her or anyone else. And as far as her opinion on what we do, well i couldnt care less for her opinion. Why the hell he would even ask her is beyond me. And then he wonders why i get upset. Well a little consideration for me and our privacy isnt to damn much to ask for. Will he ask her to join us in bed next?!? Wouldnt surprise me a bit. Damn men!

Im just tired of people who intrude on a conversation. How many times did that happen with me and Alterio? Gods i cant even begin to count how many times. We could never talk alone or be left alone to talk. Im not putting up with it any more. He wants me to act like a lady and not fight. Fine, but he can stop being rude and inviting people into our conversations. WHAT we are doing isnt their decison and i dont care for their opinions. Im married to him and no one else. Its ours.. his and mine. NOT..his, mine and theirs.

"shakes her head and sighs as the door is knocked on, she shoves the journal over, leaving it open to dry and rises to return to work"

Journal Entry, 2 January, Vixen Blade Carazzi.

Dear Journal:
Well, I am alittle jilted today. I do not know who is worse. Alterio or his damn father. "Woman" When have I ever been addressed so insultively?...only by morons and idiots. Elder is far from that, yet he wanted to insult me last eve. It tends to make me ask why? Normally he is not so nasty. Yet last eve took the prize. Well I would not take it from Alterio, nor would I from his father. I however, did the best thing and ignored his digs. I was not in the mood to be insulted and toss back cat and mouse play. Doesnt anyone get it? I am more or less in mourning. A man that I once loved died, he came back and died within me all over again, do you know how painful that can be? Mimicking me of my child raising skill...when he himself didnt raise a family. As I stated before he is upset with me over something menial, and choose to take it out in open immaturely. However surprising that is, it is true, the bull head would never admit it. *sighs* I do miss the vitality of JR, when he is happy. No one contains it such as he...mayhaps thats what the Dome needs, is Alterio back to himself...I do not know if I am the only one who notices, but he hasnt been himself since even before his "death". Mayhaps he needs to find that smile once again....I will do something nice for him.

Sincerely:
Chastity D. De'Kartan
Second entry. 2 January.

Dear blank page ... there have been most interesting happenings around since my last entry. Well .. I met two persons .. most interesting persons, intriguining I might add.

A certain mysterious lady Xanthia was there. For a lady she doesn't sing nor dance which is interesting since everyone around seems to have at least some artistic preferences. We danced ... something she doesn't do very often. Yet she claims she doesn't smile a lot and I tend to believe her. I don't know what her secret is ...

The other is called Chas by the others .. I believe it is short form for another name. Which that might be, I do not know. She seems to have developed some understanding of me ... interesting for such a short time. I do not know what to make of it .. but I tend to like her. Something tells me to be cautious with these games, I have lost contact with strange emotions a long time ago. She kissed my palm .. and .. I .. well .. I shouldn't write more. It may be dangerous, maybe not.

I will be cautious.

Journal Entry, 3 January, Raven Nightwind.