~sits quietly in front of the cold hearth in the cottage. Treyman's snores resound through the quaint main room from where he slumbers on a cot. She pulls her hand through the damp, pallid strands of her hair, muttering about needing a bath after her swim and run as she dips her quill and begins to write~

I note today that I lead a little life. It is a life much like the one I had when I was younger, save for where I currently dwell. I grew up in a large stone holding, and in an impressive country manor. But I like this cottage, with its creature comforts, it's warmth and welcoming. I'm comfortable here. But here I lead a very small life. Maybe it's valuable, but it's little. I don't do much but write, debate with dear Sirra, joke and dash about with Uncle Treyman (ironic considering I had notions of murdering him over again), and visit the Pleasuredome most evenings. A little life.

I remember when my life seemed large. I was fearless and reckless and I held the world in my palm. I lead, I ordained my own fate. I was in control. I moved along so quickly that I barely had time to think. But now I sit back and watch the world fly by. Sometimes I think it's good of me to rest. Other days I believe myself to be too young for this retirement from adventure. Again I'm restless. Maybe it's because I haven't yet found a purpose for myself.

I once had the purpose of grandeur. It was my dream to be a famed and feared warrior of amazing skill and honour. Well that's all rot now. I've no desire to have my healing talents famed throughout the world, and my bardic skill is barely passing. Truly told, I don't know what I want. I'm indecisive and flippant. Who do I want to be? A universal question with no answer. But I'm only a child.

Alterio bears me badly of late. He's taken to picking at my sore points, but I've been trying my best to disregard behaviour spawned from his current situation. He and Vixen have a child. They are bound by blood and family and are thus inseparable. The last nail in the coffin? Maybe so, but I won't allow myself grief over something so out of anyone's hands. What's done is done.

In my restlessness, my tongue has loosened. I speak far too much of what I think these days. Last evening I recieved what I think to be a death threat because of it. Not the first, and it won't be the last. I've no intentions of losing my life, either way. Picking, picking is what they do. I really do feel like the small child I was. But as a child I held unfailing humour, and so I will hold it now. Will I dwell downcast like some moaning coward? Hardly. I'm a Maichen.

Well, the day is bright, the sun warm. I've a bit to do, then I'll go play "barfly" once again. Pick, pick, pick...

~Journal Entry 6 June, Jane Maichen

~~sits in the swing, down by the falls. her journal resting on her knees, as she recalls vividly, the dream she had last night. how it has really came into her thoughts, several times this day. she dips her quill, and begins to write out the dream as it happened~~

            Standing alone in her dressing room at the villa, Alianna spins in her bedroom, holding a new dress to her chest.  She smiles and looks at herself in the mirror above her dressing desk.  She smoothes the lavender dress against her body as her Ben comes into view and kisses her neck.  He smiles and walks back into his study, leaving her to the new clothes.  She watches him walk and another smile threatens to break her face once again.  Turning back to the mirror, she gasps when her reflection disappears from the mirror.  The lavender dress falls to the floor, forgotten, as she looks in the mirror.  A flash of light envelops her as she starts to scream.  Tendrils of white light wrap themselves around her body and encase her within a soft, warm glow.  The Villa had disappeared around her in favor of this bubble of light.

            As quick as she had been whisked away from her home, the glow dimmed from around her.  She felt her feet touch the sand of the beach beneath her feet and smiled.  Looking down, there was indeed sand beneath her feet!  As she looked closer, however, the usual tan color of the sand drained until it was a pale white color…almost ghastly in pallor.  Confused again, she just stood where she was, trying to rationalize exactly what was happening.  When the glow had finally departed from around her, she found herself among a white light, coming from all directions, yet none at all.  There was ground beneath her feet, for she could feel the sand, but no ground presented itself to her eyes.  As mysterious was the realm that she was in.  As she turned around and around, no terrain reached her eyes, yet she could feel that something was in front of her.  All that surrounded her was this eerie white light.  But as uncomfortable as this was, Alianna felt totally at peace.  She somehow knew that no harm could come to her here, nor could she be lost or forgotten.

            Just as she was about to become upset at her circumstances, a soft voice spoke to her,  "Do not worry, Alianna.  You are safe here.  You are in good hands.  Forever and always."  She jumped, startled, and tried to locate where the voice had come from.  It was a masculine voice, yet very feminine at the same time, and it came from every direction at once.  The voice sensed her growing distress and spoke again to her, this time coming from directly in front of her,  "Alianna, I have something to show you.  I want you to know something when you leave here.  I want you to know that you will always be loved."  She felt herself walking towards this voice, reaching out to it and the serenity it held within itself.  When she took the first step towards the voice, she felt herself fall off a cliff.  She fell for what seemed to be hours.

            As she fell, she spoke a silent prayer of protection, hoping on hope that she would be saved from an untimely demise.  When the last word left her lips, the same bubble of light that had brought her to the "white realm" wrapped her in its warm tendrils once again, whisking her away from that place.  When the tendrils retreated, she was standing on the beach of the island, just outside the Pleasuredome.  Once she had gotten her bearings, the soothing voice spoke to her again;  "Alianna, you and you alone can make yourself happy.  Accept other's faults and nurture them.  Take others into your heart and do not be afraid to follow your heart, no matter where it may lead you.  Always be happy, for there are only two things that matter."  A soothing ball of light formed before her eyes, making its way towards her body.  When the ball touched her chest, just above her heart, she saw what it was indicating.  Love existed within her heart, ready to bre her out of the darkness that had threatened to consume her.  "Here, in your heart, lies the power to shape nations, to bring people together in the peace that they deserve.  Here, in your heart, lies True Love."  The ball then moved away from her chest, floating before her face, showing her a picture within its soft glow.  She saw herself with her Love, a small child cradled in her arms.  She and her love looked to Alianna and smiled, giving her a small wave before they returned to talking to the small child.  Just as the picture started to darken, the baby spoke its first words,  "Mommy?" and reached out to Alianna.  The orb then moved its way downward, to her stomach, where it again moved to touch her, filling her soul with hope and joy.  The orb spoke more softly now, more quietly, just as a mother talks to her newborn child.  "Here lies the future, Alianna.  Here lies the beginning of a new soul, a new person."  Alianna's vision faded in favor of a small child that was developing inside of her.  Already midway through its growth, it twitched gently in its sleep.  Alianna felt the baby gently kick the inside of her as the orb moved up to her eyelevel once again.  Alianna felt a wave of joy and acceptance overcome her as the glow faded with its final words,

  "Alianna, the universe is made of love.  You ~will~ have a part of that love inside you one day.  Be happy, you have earned it.  Be with Your Love forever.  You have earned that much."

  ~sighs, as she lays her journal and book aside. ~still~ trying to understand the dream. he leans back in the swing, closing her eyes. as the sound of the falls and the softly swaying of the swing, lulls her to sleep~~

~Journal Entry 7 June, Alianna Carazzi

"she is awakened in the middle of the night by a dream.. as she sits up in bed she sees the note on her nightstand that was not there when she fell asleep.. she picks it up and reads it..she rereads it as she gets out of bed going to the desk to write him one back...after leaving it on his pillow and giving him a light kiss on the forehead she returns to her room to write in the journal"

"she picks up the quill and thinks about the last few days and starts to write"

I know he loves me even though he cant say the words. Thats enough , its all i need. I know he has been upset with me lately. But he understands why I couldnt tell him about Mia and Alkane. And i understand why is upset and I hope he can forgive me for keeping that secret. I really had no choice.

"smiles softly as she remembers how peaceful he looked a bit ago when she left the note on his pillow."

Gods i hope he knows i didnt mean to hurt him..He seems happy that the children are here. Alkane arrived yesterday on the ship. God how he has grown since i saw him last. He looks more like Alterio now than the last time i saw him. They are going to have to be told soon he is their real father. Soon as they get settled in and use to their new surroundings I will tell them.

I may have another little surprise for Alterio, but now is not the time to spring any more on him.. He is still trying to deal with the fact that Mia and Alkane are really his children. There is time for that later.. "sighs thinking of the whores he still demands, wondering if he will taper that off any time soon"

"lays the quill down as she looks out the window thinking to herself..she sighs and closes the journal as she gets up to face the day , going to check on the children first "

~Journal Entry 8 June, Vixen