My dear, Alterio, How things turn out to be; you had forgotten your belief. You used me for your agenda and not the sake of our 'hood. I think it's my fault for trusting you. Trusting a man that claims darkness only for his benefit and image of a valiant. Before seeing the sister you once denied, and now I seeing this hope in your eyes.

Bastards! Bastards you are all! One against all!
You bastards will fall!
One by one is not enough
I'll attack all you pansies at once.

For Ben is an enemy and yet Alterio is his friend.
Then Alex will be mine with Alianna till the end.
For Alianna wanted to shake my hand when I told no and why,
Now she we'll see the tears she'll shed of her cry.
And at the end of everyone's day, when we lay to rest,
We will remember how the Ship of Wishes really did blessed..

--Journal entry 12 July, Nemesio Escobar Canales

::After seeing to Marissa again when she fussed, he goes down to his study, quill in hand::

I've brought in a wet nurse from the village to see to the baby's feedings...Vixen's taken to drink again, and I've yet to see her nurse the child.

She's in a foul mood, Vixen is..Had a night of drinking. I see blurs when I think back to last eve. I remember some of Alianna's wedding. Midgets. Nemesio looking through me. Dan saying something of overhearing an attempt of my life. All of this is melding together. I remember Ben's face being changed, I remember a very brief moment of comforting, small arms around me. And an innocent kiss.

It all whirls as one. The only moments of clarity of day past is up until the sun set. All of that I could recite forward and back..but what happened next has Vixen in a quiet rage, and so I do what I do now, hire help to feed my child since my breast certainly does not produce milk. What to do now? Aemelia's cast me out of the Knights. Will she take me back in? Do I wish to go back in? I know not, I do know that Knighthood is something important to me. Although my personal glory and satisfaction is more important than being part of a team. I bristle when confined...always have. So what to do?

Form my own order? Bah. Tried that once and landed flat on my arse. I don't care for failure. Likely I will ask to be reinstated. What will she say? Again, I don't know. What now. I have an angry woman who barely speaks to me in my home, I've got a very dangerous man giving me chilling reminders of how precious life is, I've got a friend with an enemy's face attached upon it...

..So much for the Ship of Wishes..seems it did more harm than good. I'll check on the babe once more, then perhaps see if Mairin or Mia wish to go take in a meal, then a walk on the beach. I'll also take Paul for an extra pair of eyes..one just..can't be too careful, it seems.

--Journal Entry 13 July, Sir Carazzi.

::Pulls out her journal as the last patron leaves early on in the evening, knowing they will come back later on and sighs as she begins to write::

Ah Lets see...Yesterday I had a chance to wish for most anything. I did not waste the wish upon myself, but used it for my friends. Now I have a vial of liquid that may make them happy after its sprinkled on their head. Kinda odd if you ask me, the same for the ship. Who ever heard of such a thing?

::She laughs a bit as she continues to write::

Hmm...Well Alex told me that he loves me. And I love him as well...I believe. I have had so few men treat me as he does, and I hope that I do love him, rather than just drawn to his charm that he puts on thick for me usually. I don't know, I can be...swayed easily by charm, most not taking their time to bother with me.

::She sighs softly as she continues to write, nodding to patrons who come in politely, as if nothing is wrong. Her mock smile seems so realistic::

I tried to council Alterio earlier today. It breaks my heart when something happens, everyone rushes to talk with who ever was on the other end of his foul mood. He said he wished not for anyone to fear him...I don't fear him, or really anyone here. I respect others...and besides doesnt he need someone to speak with as well when something happens? Really sad, people claim to be his friend and dont listen wehen they need to.

::She shakes her head lightly then continues::

Ah...people...poeple in general don't care to speak with me, unless they need a favor or an opinion. They speak to me when they deem me worthy. Gah...I don't need that, so as usual I absorb myself in my work....I lead a boring life. When I try to make it more interesting I fail miserably. I have no need of people who dont deem me worthy to speak to. Gah! Whatever!

::She sighs and bites her lip::

I missed Miss Ali and Ben's wedding...I really wanted to be there...especially since I wasn't really able to help Miss Ali get ready for it, Jane and Vix taking charge. I was hoping atleast to give them music for the wedding, that being the best of what I do... Anyway I hope they know I only wish the best for their future. I should really tell them.

As always I think about my future, wonding what lies ahead. Is Alex the one I was meant to spend my life with? We see each other in passing at the pleasuredome. Perrhaps able to spend an hour or so together... It's moving so fast, and I have my doubts, worries if you wish to say rather. But I know how my heart feels and hope it would not decieve me. I have become withdrawn again, not really speaking to anyone, perhaps a smart comment or observation here and there. Though many wish not to speak to me anyway...but I have already mentioned that.

And seeing I am repeating myself, and ofcourse rambling, I should bring this entry to a close. Just saying that I did not lie yesterday. I only wish happiness for my friends.

Until next time

--Journal entry 13 July, Lina Metallium

"rubs her eyes and looks at the blank page"

Gods i dont know how im making it thru this day. Very little sleep last night, up most of the night taking care of Marissa. And where was Alterio? Out drinking all night...And yet im not suppose to be upset with him? I cant believe he went on a drinking binge the first night the baby is home. Then i find out he was at dome kissing Jane. But yet again im not suppose to be upset. I guess im not suppose to have any feelings. Just ignore it like none of it happened.

I have been to the manor several times today to check on Marissa and Mia and Alkane. I just didnt want to argue with him. So i avoided him. So im the bad person here.... i was home taking care of a crying baby all night while he is out drinking and acting like an ass. And then hear about what happened first thing this morning.. Im so tired.. but yet im the one wrong???????

He has never slapped me before...never and he has broken that..Maybe what i said was out of line. But look at what ive been thru since yesterday. His behavior last night brought all this on. This whole day has been horrible. IF he had been home to help with the baby last night, none of this would have happened. I wouldnt be so tired, and i would have nothing to be angry at him for. Does he understand that? I doubt it very seriously....

Where do we go from here? More drinking on his part and then conveniently not remember what he did? And yes i started drinking again. How can i not when i have to put up with this kind of bullshit?

"shakes her head and lays the quill down, she rises to go check on Marissa once again and to sneak back out of the manor"

--Journal entry 13 July, Vixen Blade

*Picks up his new phoenix quill pen and starts to write, gwenhwyfar forgotten on the desk beside him.*

Mags is gone. Taken by pirates and sharken to some best-forgotten Hell.............and I am left behind here. Facing a life without Mags.................Again. At least I have a lead now, I have a chart to where that ship that took them lies---and a ship to follow the swanroads to rescue Mags, Mags and even Nun.

My world crashed when Mags was taken. I returned to the man I was when I first thought her dead. Only the knowledge she yet lived save Torlin's life yesterday. He came in and saw my grief as an opportunity to attack me where my soul was wounded. It took all my strength not to behead him where he sat. If he continues down this path I may have to take his life----and I have seen too many dead to look forward to even the elf's death. I don't want to kill him----but if it comes down to it I will not give up the lives of me or mine for his ego.

Lina will look after jas for me while I am gone. For in just a few nights I shall be off to tread the swanroads in search of Mags.

*puts down his quill and rests his head on his hands-----falling asleep in his own private hell.

--Journal entry 13 July, Halfdan

Friday the 13th. July.

I peered into the mirror today, the first time in many monthes actually. I feel as if the old me, was invisible..Thanks to Wish Wizard....I guess thats what I was now, Invisible. The islanders don't know me at all. I like that. No petty judgement, but I should'nt dwell on the past events. I can rewrite my history...I had the most wonderful conversation with Jane last eve..She can be most enchanting at times, and so easily to please, when I know exactly what she is looking for.

Well, I guess Nemesio wasted his wish, on foolish spite, and Fallen wasted it on vain heroics, poor Alianna, wasted her's on a attempt, while I used mine, to build a new life with all the pros and none of the cons of the old one. Well, bugger this, damn philosophical bullshit, I should go out and find a bit more to live for. And to think, some think this is a unlucky day...I feel more alive than ever.

--Journal entry 13 July, Claude Torrent

*Picks up his quillas he settles down to write.. looking out over the grotto that might aswell be part of his new home*

The wishing ship, what a mixed blessing that turned out to be.. I hoped to have something returned that had been missing ever since i stepped foot on this isle, but it was not posible. Instead I got a wonderful home, with even enugh room for Azorah.. if she ever forgives me.

*sighs and stares out over the grotto for a while.*

Well it seems Ali was right.. if I dwell on myself and such too long I will push those who want to help me away.. I lost 2 friends a while ago.. and then Azorah.. Dammit I need that dragon.. she is the only one who understands me.. except perhaps now with the exception of Lyri.. Lyri lyri.. where are ye.. I heard ye were present the night Mags and Nun were taken but none have seen ye since. I am starting to worry bout your health.. my health..

I have once again put on my stoic facade.. except when dealing with one or two.. though I cant hold it for as long as I used to. I cant beleive I nearly caused Ben and Ali to break up the night of their wedding... but I just cant lie to Ali.. if she hadnt come to talk to me I may of never told her. I do hope Ben forgives me in time, I dont expect it will be soon with all that he has to deal with now. *Puts his quill down as he walks inside placing the journal open to dry as he just wanders around his new home.. wishing it didnt feel so lonely*

--Journal entry 13 July, Taeliesyn