****sits beneath the web of stars as she lays out her mostly unused journal to write****

Ahh...twas good tae be out and about again. Tis good tae 'ave normal 'uman contact. I managed tae wander tae the dome this eve. I met a rather charming young man by the name o'Benjamin. Per'aps twould be nice tae visit with him more oft'n.

Well...nae much else tae write. Calhin and Casi are supposed tae be 'ere taemorrow for supper. I 'ad invited Ben..'ad 'e wished tae come. I donnae think 'e will though.

Much tae do...little time.

--Journal entry 22 September, Tika Waylan

What are we to do? Jane tells us that Alterio wants us (the ones guilty of killing Mairin) to find a way to bring her back and we will be spared. Spared? We did not kill her! He is asking the impossible of us. I dont know what they have decided to do. I was at Dome for a short while yesterday evening. I returned to the manor and spent some time with the children and the rest in my room alone...walking the floor and thinking.

Jane wants us to take Alterio into the volcano and induce sleep on him to try to bring Mairin back. Will this work? No one knows. He might die also If we do this. Does he care? He doesnt seem to care about anyone or anything anymore. He forgets he has 4 other children he will leave without a father.

"she hears the children and rises from the chair leaving the journal open"

--Journal entry 22 September, Vixen Blade

Starday, 23rd of Key Autumn

The Black Pearl is at middle sea to Crystal Shores. The crew worries of discrimination upon them because of the cold woman's evil acts. I should have never trusted her to extend a branch upon the rich Isle. I should have gone with my instincts and allowed Samuel or Jazski to this task rather than being courteous.

However, my first intentions are to apologize to the citizens of the shores and re-establish us on the Isle. Although, I am not sure of how well a greeting we'll get, nonetheless, this project of expanding and uniting more to the Society should continue.

Just this evening we encountered a dragon turtle about half the size of Black Pearl. This beast had decided to attack us, and till this moment I can't explain how we still have the vessel in hole.

--Journal entry 22 September, Myth

*sulks quietly as she continues to sweep up the mess she made in the shoppe this morning, then ties the door open to let the breeze take care of the smoke. After the shoppe is broom-clean condition, she curls up on the floor, balancing a quill inbetween two of her tiny claws, and writes. It's a scribble but she can read her own writing; so can her husband and she hopes he doesn't find this*

Silly Sultry! Never can take care of yourself, by yourself. Look at what you did this morning! He nuzzled you and took flight to the Mainland to bring some new items back here to the shop. All you had to do was open the doors for business, all by yourself.

But no! Instead, you were pouty and unhappy he'd gone. Afraid of your own shadow as you always are. And in a little huff, your tail knocked over the lantern you use before dawn. Oh, what a fiasco! You burnt the *looks around shiftily* .."found".. bedsheets, the lace ones you could've gotten good gold for! What will he say when he sees THAT! And as you stomped the fire out, you knocked into the blown glass bowl and now splinters of glass are still in the flooring! You'll be cutting your feet for weeks!

*Sighs* I hope he's not too angry. He gives me that look..I know he's upset, but might blame himself for leaving me alone for a little while, then somehow he'll blame himself for my clumsiness. He carries the weight of the realm on his shoulders, taking responsibility for everything, especially me. I don't deserve such a wonderful husband.

*Stares at a box of mainland chocolate but abstains, because she doesn't want her husband to come home to a flabby-hyded wife. Pushing her journal away, she picks up the broom again and looks for the glittering glass pieces. An "ouchhh!" can be heard. She found one *

--Journal entry 23 September, Sultry Scoundrel

*Back at the North End of the Isle after visiting in the Silver Seaport yesterday afternoon, she watches the training exercises of her recruits on the north beach from her quarters. A thoughtful look passes her face, a face beginning to show a sense of wisdom, with faint lines. Far from the young, bold Knight she once was. This version, this modern-day Trione shows a bit more quiet and inner reflection, but an intensity burns in green eyes as she puts the quill to her journal, taking her eyes off of the training a few moments.*

Time to lay the past to rest. He is gone now, I am leading on my own. Have I ever done this, truly alone? While I miss him, I openly miss him.. I will only grow stronger from this. The pain I felt at the news of his murder steeled me to accept anything that is thrown at me now. Insulation. Insurance to know that whatever this Island holds, I will not falter.

The climate must be good for my health: My knees don't bother me anymore. Which means I can run, fight, do what I need to perhaps even better than I did 10 years ago. And, he's not here to watch over me..guide me..or distract me.

*Chuckles thinly*

Nemesio, may Ezeel hold your soul close to his breast. One day we shall meet again. But that day will not be soon: I still have grand plans for the annexation of this Island, I have much to accomplish before I am called home.

*She puts her quill down and ventures outside to lead the training herself. She needs this physical motion to spark the mind*

Aemelia Trione, First Knight
Order of the Knights of the Crimson Tide

--Journal entry 23 September, Aemelia Trione

"she looks at the blank page and sighs as she thinks back over almost nine years of her life"

Ive wasted the last nine years of my life. Loving someone that never cared for me. Why didnt i see this before? They say love is blind. THey are right.. its blind and stupid. Nine whole years for nothing. And four children later. Ah well Mia and Alkane have been without a father before.

Marissa is to young to realize whats going on. I thank the gods for that blessing at least. And Thirlia.. gods how much more can she take? She has had to many disappointments in her short life. And now this. Once again I will attempt to be mother and father to the children. Alterio has made it plain he wants nothing to do with them. He doesnt come to see them at all. Marissa needs new clothes, but he doesnt seem to care. The only child he claims is Mairin.

ANd for her death he is willing to shove his blood children away. Well thats fine. He wants out of their life.. Thats fine to. I can support them and take care of them. Its not like i havent had to do that before.Alone..always alone. I never thought I would see him turn his back on his children. But he has done just that. Im moving them out of the manor today. I dont feel comfortable being here and the children need to live in a better surrounding. Away from his home and everything that reminds us of him. Soon they will forget him altogether. Im thinking of having them taken to the mainland to my brother. I know he will take care of them. At least til I can get my life straightened out. I might have to leave the Island to do that. BUt i cant leave them here with a man that doesnt care about them. They need to forget he is their father. He has rejected them as he has rejected me.

All i can say is:::: Good Luck Alterio. I hope you find whatever it is your looking for. And when you wake up and regret what you have done the last few weeks remember this... It will be to late"

--Journal entry 24 September, Vixen Blade

::A Carazzi sympathizer within the archiving elves seeks him out early this morning, providing copy of a journal note from Vixen. He's not much surprised when he reads it, but does take extreme offense to some of her rants. Rubbing his temples, he hands the entry back to the Elves and asks him to have a seat outside the study as he writes something for them to put in our History::

You really know how to hit lowly. It's a good thing that scorned women have come before you, and after you, and likely will keep coming until the suns consume our planet in billions of years from now.

For you see, I am indeed good to my children. All of them. If you disallow my grief and planning for my eldest..then you truly don't understand me. I thought -I- was the 'shallow' one in this relationship...apparently not..

You tend to forget that women have always used my children as a claymore against me, to try and rip my heart from my chest. Lily-Anne, when we parted ways, took Carina--MY CARINA-- and Nimi back with her. Katelin for a very long while, allowed me to think that Christopher perished in flame.

That left you and Mirell as mothers of my others. Mirell and that child died. You bothered not to tell me that I sired the twins until they were four years old, and how many times since we got here have you threatened to leave me, taking the children with you?...But that bit of information is conveniently forgotten as you put down in our historic tome how this is 'all my fault.'

You're either long asleep or still out at the Pleasuredome, flirting and frolicking, when I am standing in the doorways of my children's suites, watching them sleep, breathing evenly. I know damned well that Thirlia is having a rough go of things, and I've sat at her bedside til Dawn more than once. I sat with Mia countless hours through her pox, and you truly can't blame me for Alkane's shuttling back and forth to the Mainland. He has your strong will and unless you wish me to schedule him for regular beatings...then it's your job to take him in hand.

Now, Mairin. Sweet Mairin. MY daughter. My last link to Carina, the one child who looked at me as a child -should- look at her Father. As if he could do no wrong, as if he's the biggest, best, brightest man in the world..even when he isn't. And I'm certainly not. Well, she is missing now, and aye, I have put my priorities in a different order, to get her back, somehow, someway.

So aye, I wished you to pick up the slack with the little ones, so I could endeavor to get her back. But if that makes me a horrible man who cares not for his children..

Then I wear that label with honor, and if it makes you sleep well at night, believing I care not of our young, then think as you wish. If Marissa has no clothing..whose responsibility is that? Don't you own clothing shoppes?

Doesn't my sister own one? Oh..wait..I see. I am to come from the battlefield, or the Pleasuredome after collecting receipts..or perhaps when I'm bloodied from the market...nevermind.

I will not write in anger and ignorance. Inform me of your departure and I will see you off.

--Journal entry 24 September, Sir Alterio A. Carazzi II

*she sits up in bed, reaching for her journal.. a cup of herb tea sitting on the nightstand next to her, thanks to Jane, and a bowl of Calhin's chicken soup next to the teacup*

Bah. I feel wretched on two accounts.

First off, I'm miserably sick. I can barely manage to eat, my throat hurts so badly, and I can't sleep either. Either I can't breathe, or I can't sleep. At the moment I'm choosing the not sleeping.. but if this cold gets any worse, I'll take every cold medicine Cal can brew up for me and go comatose for a while. I'd better get well soon, or I'll drive myself and Cal crazy, the poor dear.. he takes such good care of me.

On the second count.. I'm afraid I've upset Cal. We were talking the other day about our relationship becoming more.. permanent, and it completely slipped out of my mind today. He asked me if I'd thought any more about it, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he was talking about until he reminded me. Gods, he knows I'll say yes, when he asks me properly.. I'm going to insist on that, I want a real proposal, silly lass that I am. I just hope I haven't upset him so that he won't ask..

Casidhe Nissa... Flynn?

*curls back up in the bed, unable to sleep.. stashing the journal beneath the mattress*

--Journal entry 24 September, Casidhe

"slips out from between the children and smiles at them as she looks at each one sleeping peacefully...she goes to the kitchen to make coffee and sits down pulling out her journal"

I guess it wont be to bad not being at the manor. Our first night in a home I hadnt even stepped foot in since the day it was built. I have to get some furniture delivered today.>The only thing i took from the manor was our clothing. I told the children we were going on an adventure and they seemed to love it. We slept on the floor last night after I told them a story. With me in the middle and two children on each side of me.

Saw Alterio last night at Dome for a few minutes. I dont think he knows we have gone from the manor. Im sure he found out when he got home though. I dont want to fight with him any more. Although we havent moved far from the manor... he wont like it. He had the house built right beside of the manor. The children are still here and he can see them any time he wishes. At least I didnt send them to the mainland. I dont want to hurt him by taking them away.

Im just tired of fighting all the time. And im tired of being hit. "shakes her head sadly" He never hit me before...not til we came to this island. This is twice thats happened. And now because he hits me others think they can also. Myth... Alterios new friend slapped me last night. Called me a whore for no reason. Bah men are pigs. On the island what two days now.. and thinks he can slap me around. I blame Alterio for this. If he didnt feel so free at slapping me in public these others wouldnt be doing it either.

"glances at the box of new clothes for Marissa that she brought from the Boutique last night" Well the clothing was finished yesterday and i carried them home last night but havent sorted them yet. I was to tired when i got home, although i came in early. I stopped at the manor for a couple of minutes to deliver something to Alterios room then slipped back out quickly. I didnt want to run into him there. Yeah I still love him and i probably always will. You cant just turn off nine years. But right now he needs his space. We may or may not get back together this time.

To much has been happening lately. Hell, who knows he may be glad im gone. But it doesnt matter. I know if i go back ...it will right back to all the bullshit I left. The fighting constantly, the abuse and the neglect.

"she sees the coffee is ready and the children will be up soon so she closes the journal and gets ready to face whatever this day brings"

--Journal entry 25 September, Vixen Blade