I lay facing her as she slept, adoring the peaceful look on her face, as I softly traced her features with my eyes. A sudden fleeting thought entered my mind and fled just as quickly. By the gods she is beautiful, and I still found it hard to believe after this short of a time that she would ever find me attractive and yet here she lies, probably with the subconscious thoughts of the time we spent together last night still in her dreams because she had a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth even as she slept.

I kissed her softly on the forehead as I gently shook her. "Rowsy it's time to get up now." She slowly awoke; sleepy eyes struggling to focus as I watched her dreams flee with the morning light. "Good morning Camden," she whispered as she looked over my shoulder at the sunlight spilling in through the window. I smiled and leaned to kiss her once more, softly on the lips this time. I looked deeply into her eyes and sighed, enthralled by their azure depth. As I stared, perhaps too long, she reached up to gently stroke my scarless cheek as she whispered in a sweet, sultry voice, "Today is the day Camden.. today is the first day of our new life.. together."

:::::: He stops writing as his eyes moisten. He wipes his yet unshed tears of happiness at that thought away with the cuff of his sleeve. He sits back in his tall chair behind his writing desk and takes a small sip of his morning blackberry tea. With a soft sigh he sets the cup down and continues to write in his journal. ::::::

That's it. That's the dream I had last night. The dream I have even now that I am awake. The dream of being with her, Rowsy, being with her wholly and sharing all of myself with her. She is beautiful. Of that there is no doubt. But as much a her beauty intrigues and excites me, her heart, her spirit, these are the things that draw me to her. I love her.

Surely we have become... close... over the past weeks. The time spent "trapped" in her cottage during that terrible storm was actually a blessing to my soul. I ad nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, from her... from my own feelings. I even went so far as to remove my mask, my shield, for her. By the gods she makes me feel alive again! I want to have a future with here...here. This place, this island, it is unlike any other place I have ever been. Perhaps that is what drew me here. And is not Rowsy, by that same token, unlike any other woman I have ever met?

Every waking moment she is in my thoughts. Every dream is of her. I believe she has... some... feelngs or me. It's obvious she is holding back, and knowing what I know of her recnt past I cannot blame her. I can wait. I will wait. As long as she needs to open her heart once more.

There is one strange thing. I have recently found myself thinking of doing something I have not even considered doing in years. I consider doing it... for her. I consider... singing. It's funny, but even after all these years I believe I still have my voice for singing. I even found myself humming a tune the other day as I was on my way to visit her. I was walking along the beach on my way to her cottage when I was suddenly inspired. When I returned home that night I put words to the tune. Perhaps one day..soon...I will find the courage to sing it to her. Perhaps...

I do love her so, "my" Rowsy.

:::::: He leans and blows on the page to hasten the ink's drying as he reaches for his songbook. He opens to the first page, the first song he has written in 5 years, the song about them inspired by the crystaline sands of the isle. As he stands and walks to the light of the window he begins to hum softly the tune that that came to him the other day. As the warm morning sunlight bathes his open tome, he reads silently the words to the song in time to his soft tune. ::::::

As we walk along upon the sand of time Beneath stars shining in the night sky Bathed in the soft shimmering moon glow Watching the tide gently ebb and flow

The waves crash softly upon the beach Again and again, extending their reach Reminding me of how your love can be For it reaches ever deeper inside of me

Through the night, we walk hand in hand Pausing to write our names in the sand Though the water will soon wash them away Your name upon my heart shall forever stay

In this dance of life we go around and around Creating the most beautiful circle to be found My feet never touch the ground, I float on air Whirling and twirling whenever you're there

The sea reflects the silvery light of the moon As your touch upon my skin makes me swoon The thousands of glittering stars in the skies Are no comparison to the twinkle in your eyes

I stare into your eyes and see depths of emotion An honest, pure love with total devotion Enveloped in a thick blanket of love's bliss Your lips meet mine in the sweetest kiss

I wish to hold you close to me forever Always be by your side, away from you never My heart swells with love, threatens to burst Like the sea for rain, for you I hungrily thirst

Together we gaze into the mystery of the deep This happiness we've found here is ours to keep The sounds of the sea play us a lovely tune To it's sweet, enticing call we are not immune

Even if we were ever to leave this place Our wonderful memories time will never erase They will remain in our hearts and our minds As we journey together across sands of times

:::::: As his tune ends after the last verse he slowly closes his new book of songs, hoping to add to it soon, and starts making his way around the room to get dessed. Almost as an after-thought he takes up his black silken mask and places it on his face as he steps out the door. There is no doubt of his ultimate destination... Rowsy. But he thinks perhaps he will do some writing first back where it all began... That wonderful, magical, life-changingly beautiful waterfall where he first saw her. Yes... he believes it to be the perfect place to practice his singing alone, the sounds of the rushing water covering his voice to all but his own critical ears. ::::::

--Journal Entry, November 1, Lord of Masks

Pity that Cal and I missed the party last night.. whatever party there was. I just couldn't see my way to it- leaving the house and going out to drink and celebrate when shredded corpses still lie about. Thankfully, from what I've heard most of my friends made it through all right. But still, all the bodies... I couldn't leave the house.

I'll try to go out today, sometime, if I can. The sharken frighten me so.. first on the boat, now on land. Will it ever stop? I do love our house- to sit on the porch and watch the sunset is a grand thing indeed- but with it so close to the water, it is so hard to feel safe...

--Journal Entry, November 1, Casidhe

I have been to busy the last few days to write anything. The Hallows Eve Party went quite well last night. No arguments and no fighting for a change. All the costumes were great and a lot of people won prizes. Either for the judging on the costumes or at the Raffle that was held afterwards.

Val and I are getting along great. After he got over being mad at me at the Fashion show last week that is. Aye, He had a right to be angry at me. I shouldnt have take my top off. Dont know why I did that... It just happened in a split second. Some times i do stupid things before I think.

Draco seems happy being owned by Alterio, so I guess that worked out. And Alterio does take good care of him. Now....Gyanis. Im not sure what to think about him any more. He has changed since I knew him. Last night his costume was:::he dressed up looking like Alterio. He is acting like Alterio. Im not sure thats a good thing. Gyanis was the big winner last night at the raffle drawing. But got turned down by every woman at Dome for a date. "smirks" But he won a date with an Escort. Ive heard rumors, that he like Alterio also, visits the whores at the dock. Well thats all for now...

--Journal Entry, November 1, Vixen Blade

::Val writes this as he lays on the couch of the Pleasuredome, very drunk, his writing showing that aspect::

Well, seems it's over. I can't seem to win in this crap. Was I wrong to yell at her? Of course I wasn't. She kept pushing me, testing me. I can't take this. I have to move back home...I don't care if it's next to the beach, I'd welcome Sharken after tonight. I can't believe she's going to hang on Alterio again. This is such (expletive). And then her little kiss with Gyanis. I suppose I'm not good enough. I'm just some scrawny little elf people like to walk on. Maybe I'll start going to the docks. No, I can't do that. Though Alterio always has that smile on his face.

Who cares. It's going to be hard to look at her now, knowing she went back to Alterio, though in the most demeaning way possible. I don't know what's more sad, that she wants Alterio over me, or that she's going down a path she's already been down, and hates. Why do I care. She's probably never going to speak to me again, anyways. I guess I'm just not that special. This has been the worst night of my life. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

::Val drunkenly closes the journal, and orders another whiskey...::

--Journal Entry, November 1, Valyndor Lyndrae

"she awakens to early like always and slips his arm from around her, she slips out of bed so as to not wake him and pulls a robe on as she goes to the desk and sits down....she pulls the journal over and finds a blank page and begins to write"

Not sure where to begin..yesterday afternoon Gy and i talked in dome. I lied to Val about it and told him I started it by kissing Gy. I just didnt want them to kill each other last night. I had to stop the fight somehow and i didnt want to kill anyone in the balls but they wouldnt stop. And afterwards, I saw the way Val looked at Gy. So i said i started it.Truth is Gy kissed me and yes I kissed him back.Truth is I dont know why. I did stop him from going any farther though. When he suddenly jerked my dress up and started kissing my thigh..yes I stopped him. Gy says he still loves me but does he really? Or is it like he said a bit later, he just wants to score? And when he asked me later last night -after- the fight ...If i would spend the night with him, I told him I was going to spend the night with Alterio. Well, he went right straight and told Val.

"glances over at Alterio still sleeping" .... Anyways, I told Val the truth when he asked me about it. Told me to tell him Gy was lying. I couldnt tell him that cuse it was true. Yes, I admit Alterio and I dont always get along. BUt I was with Val..what a few weeks and in that short time we had two arguments. One the night of the fashion show and again last night. And both times, he was ready to walk away. Truth is I do care for Val and I care for Gy. But Truth also is I love Alterio. They both think im a fool and maybe I am. But I cant change how I feel. I have tried to for weeks now. But i didnt lie to Val and tell him I loved him. I just couldnt say that word 'love'..I felt guilty every time he told me he loved me cuse I couldnt tell him that back.

Alterio and I have to much history. Yes, we argue and dont always get along and even go separate ways. But I think we just some times need space to cool down. We say things out of anger that i know we dont mean. Ive said things to him, that afterwards I wish I could bite my tongue off for saying. We are both to damn hardheaded. But we still need each other. At times i know he hates me and at times i hate him to. But I cant stop loving him. I cant just turn it off at will.

Last night, after Val confronted me with this. Called me shit..well I was tired of arguing and tired of explaining, I turned and just walked out. Said I was going home. I didnt stop at home at all, I came to the manor. Alt was almost asleep when I got here but woke up when I got in bed and kissed his cheek. I think he is the only one that understand me.. he knows all my little flaws by now. Ive never claimed to be perfect. I screw up and make mistakes. I do things without thinking them through first.

I had no intention of hurting Val. I am sorry for that. But I was so damn hurt after Alt and I had that last argument. I dont know what to say cept Val was there and being nice to me and I guess I needed that. I tried to put alterio out of my mind but it didnt happen. He was there constantly, in the back of my mind, always popping into my thoughts.

Im sorry Val, I really am.

"she sighs and shoves the journal over, leaving it open to dry as she rises to go down and get breakfast for Alt, who will be waking up soon"

--Journal Entry, November 2, Vixen Blade

Month Eight, Year One, Continued