President Bush met with the Joint Economic Council at the White House on Monday to discuss the economy. "Even though there's a war going on we still have to focus on our money thing," Bush told reporters, "especially since the war is going to destroy it." (03/25/03) Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld spoke with reporters Thrusday morning, following the beginning of a campaign on Iraq. One reporter jokingly asked if so-called Star Wars weaponry would be used in the war. Rumsfeld nodded and demonstrated what he called "the Force", causing the reporter to choke while being lifted from the floor. "I find your lack of faith in the Administration disturbing," Rumsfeld said before releasing his hapless victim. "Never underestimate the dark side!" (03/21/03) U.S. President George Bush and Iraq President Saddam Hussein addressed their nations following initial bombings of Baghdad, setting a record for the number of lies delivered by two world leaders in under ten minutes. Soon afterwards, speculation began that a double had delivered Hussein's speech. A close examination of the above photo, however, shows that both leaders were imposters. Hussein is believed to be in hiding or dead, while Bush was believed to be sleeping at the time. (03/20/03) President Bush spoke to the world on Monday evening, giving Saddam Hussein 48 hours to leave Iraq or face war. Bush also outlined his bold vision for the future. "We will bring peace to the peoples of the world," he said, "even if we have to kill them to do it. My compassions is strong, but my military might is even stronger!" (03/18/03) U.S. Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham met with Russian Energy Minister Igor Yusufov in Moscow on Wednesday. Abraham denied the U.S. was offering to protect Russian oil interests if they supported a war on Iraq. "Don't be ridiculous," he chided the press, "President Bush has personally assured me we're keeping it all for ourselves."(03/13/03)