" Operational Feelings "
Previous Post: "Quiet Contemplation"
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Stardate: 60322.1120
Setting: USS ANUBIS, Corridor
Having been told to leave, and rather abruptly, by
David, the Romulan/Terran hybrid found herself walking
down the corridor thinking back to the events that had
so far filled her day. Being told that the COO was
"not a bad officer" by the ILO had been what many
humans referred to a hit below the belt.
Dedicating herself to being the best at what she did,
the Romulan/terran hybrid had always strived to be
better than a good officer, performing her duties well
above the expectations of her CO, or at least that was
what she had believed. Looking back at their latest
mission, the COO could not help but question if there
had been something more she could have done to avoid
the conclusion that had been trusted upon them by Lt.
Cmdr. Enaii.
Adding to this the increasing tendency of her former
Academy classmate of pushing her and others away had
not helped matter any, actually making a situation
that should be bringing them closer into an affair
that threatened to rip them all apart. Thinking about
Enaii and what she had said had been bad enough, but
feeling guilty for what David had been going through
had been just too much, making the Romulan/Terran
hybrid act and react outside of her normal
methodology.
Stopping dead in her tracks in the middle of the
corridor, the COO nodded in what appeared to be
agreement to something that she had thought or
remembered. Having been following the COO at a
distance, the CMO stepped up and asked, "Are you all
right?"
Turning to look at Lea, the Romluan/Terran hybrid
again nodded, her features reflecting a seriousness
that could only be described as Romulan. "I am fine.
I was just realizing that Lt. Cmdr. Enaii was right in
her assessment of my character and abilities. I have
allowed personal feelings get in the way of my job,
and because of this I am not performing as I should
and as my position and responsibilities demand. This
weakness has led me to fail during our mission and
failed in my responsibilities towards David as both a
friend and fellow shipmate."
Looking as if she had been hit by a runaway
shuttlecraft travelling at high warp speed, the CMO
took a large step backwards and gathered her thoughts
before commenting. "Whoa there! What brought that
on? I was the one who screwed up the mission, not you
and could you please explain to me how it is that
*you* are responsible for what happened to David?"
Not at all appearing ready or willing to go into
details, the Romulan/Terran hybrid still thought that
some sort of explanation had been required, if only to
put the CMO's mind at ease for the time being. "If I
had been more careful during the mission, and not so
involved with Guntiz and his stories about the Stone
of Gol, I might have been able to assist David in
apprehending Gul Zulot and T'Preel. At best I should
have been able to be there for you and present you
being captured by them. As for David, I refused to
use the best available tool because I did not want for
him to think that we were hunting him down, an error
in judgement that Cmdr. Rikar was quick to correct.
Because I allowed my feelings to cloud my judgement I
wasted time and resources, something that is against
what an Ops officer is required to do."
Trying to process all that the COO had said, the CMO
quickly thought that Susan would have been the better
person to be in her shoes, but since the Cns had
remained at the doorway to David's quarters, Lea had
been the only one available. "OK, but don't you think
you are being a little harsh on yourself? If you, I
and everyone else on this ship were the way you
described, we would all be carbon copies of Enaii.
Don't get me wrong, I respect her more than I can
convey, but I wouldn't want for anyone else, including
me, to be like her. Our feelings are what make us who
we are."
Looking at the woman who had been captured and saved
twice in as many missions, the Romulan/Terran hybrid
wondered just how *useful* these emotions were. The
total lack of them had already been proven to be a
weakness of its own as demonstrated by the Vulcans,
but the allowing of feelings to cloud one's judgement
had proven to being just as much of a hindrance.
Resuming her walk down the corridor, the COO spoke.
"You may be right, but then again the Romulan Star
Empire could also be set to take over the entire Alpha
Quadrant within the next year.
Trying to figure out if the Romulan/Terran hybrid had
been joking or serious, the CMO watched the COO
continue down the corridor and vanish inside one of
the turbolift without as much as shooting a glance
back to the woman she had left behind.
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Lieutenant Commander Serenna 2005 post #226
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Serena Switt {serena1141@yahoo.com.au}
Chief of Operations / Second Officer
USS ANUBIS
