"Embracing Death"
Previous Post: "Executive Reflection" by Serena
-=/\=-
Stardate: ?Eternity?
Death did not become her, and oddly enough, the absence of the man who had pestered her before only made this existence that much more unbearable. She wondered if this was some sort of Hell, stuck in the never ending void of this existence, pondering for eternity. Memories of the past sometimes distant, sometimes vivid, washed over her in fading fragments. She felt numb, she felt sadness, and she felt the hot anger of a dream ended too soon. In truth, she embraced the anger willingly, trying to hold on to it for as long as possible, struggling to keep it's grasp over her. When she was angry the numbness, and the sadness were unimportant, and she didn't think she could cope with much more of this.
She missed Talia, the dream of her future. She would never see her grow to be a woman, she would never know if her child would become a scientist or follow in her own footsteps. She would never hear that laughter again, never wipe away an errant tear, never sit on a blanket under the table and eat s'mores for supper with the child again. She hoped she had given her daughter every opportunity to grow and play and love and work. She hoped she had been a good enough role model for the child in their short time together.
Sabrina… Bina… Samantha… She felt some connection to this confusing entity, something pure, something good, but when she tried to hold on to the fleeting images, they always slipped through her grip. She wanted to feel this woman's presence, she wanted to love her, but instead the woman remained elusive.
The darkness before her wavered, not for the first time, she would be tempted now, thus far her father Eli had appeared to her, her eccentric uncle had come to her and her Romulan mother had appeared before her. Always, they tried to take her from this place, from this hellish existence, but she felt, she knew, that her memories of Talia were here, and if she left she risked losing those too.
"Enaii? Are you there?"
The voice would have caused her heart to stop had it still beat within a living chest. "Lee… Liana?"
The body of her first true love, the departed mother of her child, appeared before her in her mind's eye. "Enaii… It's me."
It was a trick, it must be, another temptation, another deception, yet she felt herself drawn to the woman. "Liana," she whispered in disbelief.
"Don't you want to leave here Enaii? Don't you want to leave this purgatory?" Liana asked softly.
Enaii wished she had flesh, she wanted to reach out and touch the woman who had been dead too long. "Talia is here…"
The Risean spirit shook her head, "This fragmented memory of Talia isn't real. We can wait for her on the other side. Come with me Enaii…Come toward the light."
An eternity passed in a single second as she debated whether to follow the woman or to remain here. Slowly, her resolve began to falter, long enough for her non-corporeal self to form an almost human illusion. For the first time since she got here, she could see her body. Looking ahead, she glanced at Liana with a longing, she didn't want this to be her eternal Hell, she didn't want to stay here. Reaching out, she took the hand of her former lover, her guide to the afterlife, and began to follow her into the light.
-=/\=-
For one split second she almost turned around 2005 post #535
Setting: ?Death?
Lisa Mac Isaac {lisa_mac_isaac@hotmail.com}
But that would be like pouring raindrops back into a cloud
So she took another step, said I see the way out
And I'm gonna take it
~ Wasted Lyrics, Carrie Underwood
