"Amour or Armor"
(previous post "Lost in Thought")
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Technically the senior staff had been told to rest in anticipation of their arrival at SURIAL III but for the Marine 1st Lieutenant, the chance of resting while his mind was racing was slim to none. He had thought to find Maya though he wasn't exactly sure what he would say to her.
Since his declaration in the corridor outside the transporter room he and Maya hadn't really spoken. Their sickbay conversation was more of a physical inventory after the battle. How badly are you hurt? Not bad at all, just a few scratches. I'm glad you are fine. I'm glad you're fine as well.
The fact that she had only questioned Prav about his condition and not Uxtar was the only indication that there may be something between the two. Prav certainly didn't want to continue their earlier conversation in the middle of sickbay and was quite content just with her company.
But since he had left sickbay, he and Maya had not had a chance to really say more than two words to each other and the more he replayed their conversation the bigger the knot grew in his stomach. As he sat at his desk pretending to look over reports he started to question the entire situation. Had he expressed himself well enough? He knew that he had gotten somewhat tongue tied and with his adrenaline pumping the memory itself was a bit of a blur.
He knew he had told her he loved her but he couldn't remember anything about her reaction. Did she have a reaction? What did her face convey about her feelings? He couldn't get a clear picture in his head and then the doubts began.
Maybe she didn't reciprocate the feeling? The knot grew larger. The uncertainty was changing into awkwardness. What if he had misspoke, misread their entire relationship? What relationship? Maybe he had read more into that as well. He shook his head and laughed dryly. Maybe he had just made a huge fool out of himself.
The thought that he had probably made Maya feel really uncomfortable didn't sit well with him. It was the last thing he wanted to do. No wonder she had been avoiding him. He needed to do something to bring things back to the way they were before without actually having to hear the *just friends* line from her.
Something popped into his head. One of the philosophies he had been reading by Berger and Luckmann called "The Social Construction of Reality." Although he had just been getting into the heart of the theory when his attention was directed to the Imperians, he did remember something that at the time he didn't quite get.
Basically reality is nothing more then something that exists solely because people agree to behave as if it exists and unless this reality is experienced by 3 or more people, it really isn't reality. When he first read this idea he thought it was comical. How could someone deny the existence of something just because a group doesn't acknowledge its existence? It reminded him of the tree in the forest question. But now, as he thought about it he realized that maybe there was some merit.
If he stood up from his desk and as he walked across his office, tripped and fell but he was the only one who witnessed it, could he say it didn't happen? If he never mentioned it to anyone, and pretended that it never happened, then no one would know that it did and therefore it really didn't.
But the theory said three or more, so did that mean if Tes Karka had been in his office and was the only other witness that it still didn't happen? But if she saw it but didn't share the information with anyone else, just kept it between the two of us, would it still have the same effect?
As long as it stayed between the two of us, and we both acknowledged that nothing happened, we would have just constructed our reality in a way in which the fall never occurred. But adding that third person changes the dynamic... there really can't be any collusion to constructing the reality in the way that you would want. A third person would make it real.
So how did all this connect to Maya? If she hadn't told anyone what he had said, and if it was something she wasn't interested in, then it never happened! He could just go back to how it was, back to them being... friends. He cringed with that thought. That really wasn't what he wanted but if that was all he would get from Maya, then he would take it.
He cocked his head and really thought about that. He knew he loved her, but it wasn't until just then that he actually realized how much.
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He knew he needed to get the corridor conversation out of his mind. If he were to construct a reality in which he never utter those words he needed to get himself back focusing on other things, such as his job. Although he was assigned the position of Sec/Tac he was also still the MCO and after the battle with the Imperians he knew he needed to spend some time with his marines.
They had taken a big hit, losing 5 to the Imperians and although he knew that it was an acceptable casualty rate (to be honest he had expected it to be higher) he knew that losing three men and two women who were part of the marine family would deal a harsh blow to the entire unit.
But before he'd spend some time with his men he needed to make a bit of a detour.
Walking through the doors of engineering brought back another memory, one from not that long ago. He hadn't thought about the training exercise in a while but the image of Dawson in the standoff with a disguised Klingon marine filled his mind. He hadn't been happy with the way events unfolded and he could still see the look in David's eyes when he shot him.
"May I be of some assistance?" the Oltharian said, shaking Prav from his memory.
The marine smiled as he looked up at the gentle giant. "Well, I'm hoping you can." His eyes shifted just past the engineer's right shoulder and the smile grew as the object of his request was spread across one of the work tables.
Elan waited patiently for Prav to continue.
"I was wondering if you have been able to find out anymore about the Imperian armor?" Prav asked, walking over to the disassembled mechanical alien.
Elan shook his head and joined Prav at the table. "No, I haven't been able to solve the problem of energy penetration." Truth be told, Elan's priority had shifted to that of the recovery of the ILO.
Prav ran his fingers across part of the dead Imperian. "Actually, I was more interested in if you know what it's make up is and if you think we could replicate it."
Elan understood the Marines interest. "I'm not sure and I'm not sure if it would even be feasible as body armor for a humanoid, if that is what you are thinking."
Prav nodded his head. "That's exactly what I'm thinking."
Elan looked back down at the Imperian. "It is certainly something we can look into but I must inform you that it won't be a priority at this time."
Prav held up his hand. "I know, I know. We need to find and re-constitute Enaii," he said indifferently.
Elan gave him a puzzled look. "I don't think I would exactly put it that way."
Prav ignored his last comment. "Do you think that you could get one of your guys, who's not too busy to strip one of the Imperians and send over the armor plating?"
The engineer considered the request. "I don't think that should be a problem."
"Great," Prav said taking a last look at the disarticulated body on the table. "It's much appreciated," he said as he hurried off to Deck 20.
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Writing for: 2006 post #099
Stardate: 60342.0330
Setting: USS ANUBIS: MCO office
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Stardate: 60342.0410
Setting: USS ANUBIS Engineering
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Matt Kelly (downwitmal@yahoo.com)
1st Lt. Pravat
MCO
USS ANUBIS
