The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: August 4-10, 2003
Why review the advertising? It's the way to tell what the readers of a magazine are like. As well as what the editors really think of their readers. So ask youself, who would buy this stuff? The answer is the A) elderly, B) christian, and C) stupid. Not mutually exclusive traits, in fact they tend to be a cohort.
Page 5: Buy Silver Coins for $7.95. International Coins and Currency (1/3 page) elderly, stupid
Page 7: Buy vitamins by mail, including "Eternal Youth Formula" $19.95 and "Prostate Nutritional Support" $16.95 (1/3 page, no web link) elderly, stupid
Page 7: Buy bible study course, no price. Tyndaye Theological Seminary (color 1/2) page) Buy books like "The Book of Revelation: Commentary Series", $20. "Everyone is curious about the future. There is something in human nature that wants to know what is going to happen next. God speaks to that need by revealing the future before it happens." christian
Page 9: Buy very old music. Perry Como 2 CD set for $19.95. Yestermusic. Full page. elderly
Page 11. Buy fake diamonds. 3.0 Ct. Tennis bracelet, $149. Diamond Essence. Full page. stupid
Page 13: Good old New Oxford Review. "We are the New Oxford Review, an orthodox Catholic magazine run by laymen. We never thought it would be a point of honor to not that we are not owned by the Catholic Church. But with all the priestly sex scandals and cover-ups and hush-hush pay-offs..." $14/year. 2/3 page. christian
Page 14: Buy the Cloud 10 mattress "You may have seen this visco foam mattress on TV..." $99.95 + S&H. Color 3/5 page. elderly
Page 17: Elderberry Press is seeking conservative authors. "Authors will have Mr. St. John's personal response within 21 days...And dont' be surprised if St. John answers the phone or email personally." No price, sounds like a vanity publisher. 1/4 page. stupid
Page 20: Buy the Atomic Digatal Watch, $49,95 +S&H. Technobrands. Although when you google Technobrands, your first hit is An FTC complaint about tecnobrands. Color 3/5 page. stupid
Page 20: Visit a WT web site. Color 1/3 page.
Color Flyout Card. Give the gift of the WT.
Page 21: Buy a World Net Daily book, Journalistic Fraud: How the New York Times Distorts the News and Why It Can No Longer Be Trusted $25.99 + $3.00 S&H. Color full page. stupid - WND doesn't distort the news? Check out ConWebWatch
Page 25: John Ellis is still adding oxygen to water. No price. "A Gallup Poll showed most people though that erosion caused the presidential sculptures on Mt. Rushmore! Are these the same people that buy thes products and don't question where there is an expiration date on bottled water..." Full page. stupid
Page 27: Buy books like "How to Develop A Razor Sharp Mind" $29.95 + $4.95 and "Get Rich in Mail Order" $19.95 + $4.95 Color 4/5 page. stupid
Page 34: Give the gift of the WT. Color full page.
Back Cover: Buy 25 cigars, a lighter and humidor by mail. $29.95 + $4.95 S&H. Thompson Cigar Co. Page 40, color full page.
stupid
SUMMARY: The Washington Times continues its 20+ year tradion of losing money. (A for profit publication must be about 1/2 advertising to survive).
A) elderly, B) christian, and C) stupid.
The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: August 12-18, 2002
Page 5: Buy a flashlight-like device for self protection. They won't say how it works, but the picture shows little lightning bolts coming out of it. Price: $19.95 + 3.95 S&H (1/3 page)
Page 7: The Gospel of Deliverance Church took out a full page ad for Acts 2:38. They also include a picture of the shroud of Turin. Thanks to PEER.ORG we know that a full page costs $9,450. I wonder if the presbyters thought this was a good use of the church's funds.(color full page)
Page 9: Another wackjob paid for a full page. He's against the Big Bang Theory. "Those who propagate or support the belief that an unplanned, random "BIG BANG" explosion of unknown matter caused the formation of the numberless bodies of the cosmos should be automatically in position to answer a number of questions which at once arisE upon the presentation of such thesis:
1) The great orb which permits the existence of all forms of life known to man -- the one and only sun -- did it take to itself its mighty powers of heat and light which set it apart from other bodies, and did it voluntarily assume its station at the center of the revolving group of planets which include the Earth?
He continues in this vein. He included his name and address (I think he wants someone to debate cosmology with), but apparently doesn't have the wherewithal to get email or I'd pass that along. (full page)
Page 11: The WT wants to sell you a booklet of congressional contact info. $8.95 + $3 S&H (1/3 page)
Page 13: The Leader Co. is back. Subscribe to their alternative health magazine, $49 / year. "Braving attacks from former colleagues, he was even briefly hounded out of his state's medical society..."
(full page)
Page 14: Buy a Catch A Call "never miss a call or fax while online again." $49.95 + unknown S&H. (color 1/3 page)
PP 20-21: Buy a reproduction of a painting. $279 + $29 S&H. (2 color pages)
Color Flyout card: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 25: John Ellis is back, and in all caps this time: "OZONE IS A POWERFUL NATURAL OXIDIZER WITH FANTASTIC GOD GIVEN BENEFITS IF IT'S USED PROPERLY" Call for price. (full page)
Page 27: Buy hearing aids by mail. It that sounds like a good idea to you, prices start at $299. (color full page)
Page 34: Buy a Grundig Satellit 800 Millennium Radio Receiver. $499 + $35 S&H. (Find a ham and ask for his help before dropping this kind of money on a receiver)(color full page)
Page 35: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (full page)
Page 40: National Collector's Mint wants to sell you the 2002 U.S. GOV'T "September 11th Memorial" SILVER EAGLE DOLLAR. Here's what satisfied customer's have to say:
The majority of inquiries appear to stem from advertisements by the National Collector's Mint, Inc., a business hosting a mail drop in... Oops, somehow that quote from the U.S. Govt's Mint web site got in there. ($29 + $5 S&H, color full page, back cover)
SUMMARY: There isn't an ad in the whole issue that doesn't prey upon the elderly's declining physical abilities (the health related ads) and declining mental abilities (all others). Listen up, WT Readers: THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. YOU ARE JUST SOYLENT GREEN TO THEM.
The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: August 5-11, 2002
Page 5: Buy the Bose Wave radio/CD. Price: 12 easy installments. (1/3 page)
Page 7: Newsmax wants to "Save the Pledge--Save America!". (the morons put the wrong url in the ad so to sign the pledge you have to go to www.newsmaxstore.com/pledge instead of www.newsmax.com/pledge) (color full page)
Page 9: After a long hiatus, FLAME (Facts and Logic About the Middle East) is back. "In Egypt and Jordan (the two Arab courntries technically at peace with Israel), the government-controlled news sources published that Israel had distributed drug laced chewing gum and candy to kill children and make women sexually corrupt." Egypt is an Arab country? That will be news to the Egyptians. (4/5 page)
Page 11: Tiny ad for The Bolen Report. Bylaws: We Accept No "ethical" Drug or Pharmaceutical Drug advertising
Page 11: Negative Population Growth wants to "stabilize U.S. population." Please donate $30. (1/2 page)
Page 13: Buy a book on the health benefits of hydrogen peroxide, and another for financial security for the elderly. The Leader Co. seems to be an omnibus snake-oil sales outfit. Unintentional funniest line: Senior Citizens with Money in the Bank Should Read This Before It's Too Late $8.95 + $1.00 S&H (full page)
Page 14: Buy a watch that gets its time from WWV. $69.95 + unknown S&H. (1/3 page)
Page 14: Tiny ad for retirement homes in north Florida.
Page 17: Buy 2 cassettes of really old music. $19.95 + $3.50 S&H. (full page)
Page 20: Subscribe to World&I magazine. It is "a fabulous learning tool and a powerful supporting prayer. $45 / year (color full page)
Color Flyout card: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 21: Verbal Advantage is back. You know the drill. $199. (color full page)
Page 25: The Weekly Add Oxygen To Water Ad. You also know this drill. (full page)
Page 27: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (color full page)
Page 34: Subscribe to World Magazine. Christian perspective current events. (No price, color full page)
Page 40: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (color full page, back cover)
SUMMARY: A Who's who of bottom feeding advertisers. The WT still takes ads from the phony-cancer-cure scumbags, I see. Again, the demographic skews elderly, christian, and dim.
Booksforhealth.com deserves a shout out for unintentionally coining a new masthead slogan for the WT: Senior Citizens with Money in the Bank Should Read This Before It's Too Late
Visit the Washington Times at http://nomoonies.tripod.com/index.html
The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: July 29-Aug 4, 2002
Page 5: Buy some Bose Noise Cancelling Head Phones. Price: 12 easy installments. (1/2 page)
Page 7: Buy Gold Coins, you know the drill. (color full page)
Page 9: An open letter about corporate crooks from the Jeno's Frozen Pizza Family.
"Never before in our history has the corporate elite gotten by with taking billions of dollars without being put in jail." "As you well know, President George
W. Bush, I have been a friend of you mother and father and a hell of a dollar contributor to your Republican administration, even though I am an Independent when it comes to politics, but I
don't give a damn." Methinks thou dost protest too much. (full page)
Page 11: A small ad for a heart disease video. "Bring this 1 hour video tape to your doctor."
Page 11: Buy mail order cigars, get a free cheap humidor. $24.95 + $4.95 S&H. (1/2 page)
Page 13: Subscribe to Dr. Douglass' Real Health Breakthroughs. "SAY "NO" TO THE VEGETARIANS Because they actually die younger!" $49 / year. (full page)
Page 14: Buy Personal Character and National Destiny. "By contrast, the era of big government in the 20th century has emphasized helplessness and victimization." $21.95. (color 1/2 page)
Page 14: The WT wants you to buy their booklet of congressional contact info. $8.95 + $3 S&H.
Page 20: Buy Confederacy Books. The Life of Robert E. Lee for Young Gentlemen (Young men need good examples of Christian manhood) $18 to $27 + $4 S&H. (color full page)
Color Flyout Card: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 21: Expensive ($16.95 + $ 5 S&H) Comedy T-Shirt Blast. "Admit Nothing, Deny Everything, Make Counter Accusations", "Keep Working, Millions on Welfare Depend on You".(color full page)
Page 25: The Weekly Add Oxygen To Water Ad.(full page)
Page 27: WORLD magazine, 'Timely news and current events from a Christian perspective'.
No price given. (The 'Stick Em Up, This is a recount' cover shows a donkey holding Florida like a gun on an elephant, who has his hands up)
Page 34: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $49.95 / year. (color full page)
Page 35: Order 'Ma & Pa Kettle' videotapes. $14.98 + $3 S&H ea. (full page)
Page 40: Buy a Grundig Satellit 800 Millennium Radio Receiver. $499 + $35 S&H. (Find a ham and ask for his help before dropping this kind of money on a receiver)(Page 40, color back cover)
SUMMARY: After doing this for a few weeks, I'm starting to understand how FBI profilers can rattle off a list of reasonable sounding charactistics of a serial killer: "He's a single loner white male in his 30's or 40's" and then a completely off the wall one: "He probably owns Bose stereo equipment."
Visit the Washington Times Web site at:http://www.sptimes.com/TampaBay/42998/Lyons_considers_Bapti.html
or:http://www.newcovpub.com/unification/wfwp3.html
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The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: July 15-21, 2002
Page 5: The Bose Wave Radio. Again. ($149.95 1/3 page)
Page 7: The Ozonator "Purifies Drinking Water and also increases the oxygen level in your blood." ($395, 3/5 page, including one of those fake articles that is legally required to say 'Advertisement' at the top.)
Page 9: Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh will offer concrete practices and tools for nurturing our inner solidity and renewing our joy." (Seminar, no price given, 1/3 page)
Page 11: The WT wants to sell you a booklet of congressional phone numbers. ($8.95 +$3 S&H)
Page 13: Order a 7 volume course for getting rich in mail order. ($19.95, 1/3 page)
Page 14: The WT wants you to buy a gift subscription. ($49.95 / year)
Page 17: Buy Music CD's by the Andrews Sisters. The only people who buy these CD's are ones who remember the Andrews Sisters. The war was 57 years ago! These people are really old. ($16.95, full page)
Page 19: Form a 'discretionary trust' to avoid estate taxes. (No price, send name and address. Full page.)
Page 20: Grundig Radios. The cachet of mail-order with a Sharper Image ® price. No wait, it's the other way around. (From $39.95-$149.95., color full page).
Page 21: Verbal Advantage CD's on how to speak. "I learned more from this program than I did in four years of college." (I think it is safe to say that statement is aimed at people who did not get four years of college).
(color full page, no price given, looks expensive)
Page 25: The WT is selling two WT books. One is "Our Times: The Washington Times 1982-2002" in which 5 contributors put the WT in perspective. "The Washington Times has pursued truth--wherever it lay hidden--in the coverage...". This is odd since the E-in-C Wes Pruden made a big deal in an editorial a coupla weeks ago about how they pursue "facts" not "truth". But the WT lost its consistency cherry long ago. The other book is a compendium of previously published material. Both discounted to $11.95, kinda doubt these will ever be much of a revenue stream. (full page)
Page 34: The WT want you to go to the WT web site. (color full page)
Page 35. The Water one again. (full page)
Page 40: Buy a 1933 Gold Double Eagle Proof coin for $19.95 + $5 S&H (color full page)
Summary: Same old same old, but that "Thich Nhat Hanh" couldn't have gotten past The Father (Rev. Moon) unless he was connected in some way. Bears watching.
The Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: June 17-25, 2002
Page 5: Subscribe to Newsmax Magazine, "Trooper Patterson shares the Clinton Secrets..." This would be the same State Trooper who had such a poor grasp of the concept of evidence he never wrote down a time, date, location, or license plate number? Who never made an allegation that could be verified? ($79.95 / 2 years. full page)
Page 7: Pry a $20 Saint Gaudens gold piece from Charlton Heston's cold, dead fingers. HestonGoldCoins, (No price given, color 3/5 page)
Page 9: A tiny ad for www.unabombers.com, "Ranked the #1 FBI Conspiracy on Yahoo". There's more at this site than I feel like reading, the drift seems to be that Ted K. didn't do it. But you'll also be treated items like "Unabomber Wig Displayed in a Gay Parody" and "Unabomber Disguised for a Trip to the Fridge"
Page 9: Accuracy In Media has a video about TWA 800, a passenger plane that crashed 6 years ago. (1/2 page)
Page 11,: Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this ground breaking book... ($19.95 + $4.95 S&H. 3/10 page)
Page 13: Buy really elderly, uh, old videos. Bing Crosby, The Honeymooners et. al. (full page)
Page 14: Ok, I just noticed this now. The picture is a close up of a girls very full, very red, pouty and parted lips. The caption is "Do you want to know a secret?" Then the pitch to subscribe to the WT. Oooh, would this secret be blowjob related? ($59.95 / year, color full page)
Page 17: The WT is selling two WT books. One is "Our Times: The Washington Times 1982-2002" in which 5 contributors put the WT in perspective. "The Washington Times has pursued truth--wherever it lay hidden--in the coverage...". This is odd since the E-in-C Wes Pruden made a big deal in an editorial a coupla weeks ago about how they pursue "facts" not "truth". But the WT lost its consistency cherry long ago. The other book is a compendium of previously published material. Both discounted to $10, kinda doubt these will ever be much of a revenue stream. (color full page)
Page 20: Apparently the WT decided to celebrate 20 years of continuous unprofitability by buying more ads in itself, from itself. In this case, buy the WT coffee mug for only $10.95 + $3 S&H, color full page)
Page 21: Book, 'As We Sodomize America'. Accompanied by a picture of Ora Ray Adams, Jr. Attorney at Law, Advocate for a Moral America. Since Ora looks about 75 lbs. overweight, he should really consider including the section on gluttony in his next Bible study. ($29.95 + $6.95 S&H. color full page)
Page 25: "We change the properties so we can add free electrons..It's like breathing oxygen." If this sounds like science to you then contact John Ellis.
Page 27: Verbal Advantage CD's on how to speak. "I learned more from this program than I did in four years of college." (I think it is safe to say that statement is aimed at people who did not get four years of college).
(color full page, no price given, looks expensive)
Page 34: Buy Ted Nugent's new book, Kill It and Grill It "With Kill It and Grill It you'll learn everything you need to know about the high-protein, high-octane, 'kill stuff, add fire, and enjoy' diet that has kept Ted Nugent in top shape and his beautiful wife, Shemane, a svelte Queen of the Forest."
(oh please, let me write the screenplay)
FADE IN:
The QUEEN OF THE FOREST is sitting on her forest throne.
"If only I had a hero, to kill my forest creatures!"
A DOORBELL rings from stage right. The MOTOR CITY MADMAN ENTERS.
"How many of my creatures will you kill?"
The MOTOR CITY MADMAN replies in verse:
"the indians needed food,
and some skins for a roof,
they only took what they needed, baby,
millions of buffalo were the proof!"
The QUEEN OF THE FOREST is pleased.
"What about the corporations that are cutting down my forest?"
The MOTOR CITY MADMAN opens his mouth to reply, but no words come out.
ANALYSIS:
The old reliables: ads aimed at 1) the elderly 2) the not-bright 3) hate-filled christians and 4) conspiracy fetishists. The Ted Nuget thing was a nice change of pace, tho' (that quote was from one of his songs).
LETTERS
"Thanks Barney. You know I keep hearing he is going broke. They have been saying that for fifty years. Do you think it was "an unusually religion-free issue" because of his speech at TWT dinner where he said it was TWT job to bring God to America or some such nonsense? That seemed to be the sticking point for thinking people who know the paper is his pawn. I mean it's not like he makes a secret as to who is the boss. Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Moon knows he uses ANYTHING at his disposal to further his goals."
"Here is an excerpt of a talk Bo Hi Pak, Moon's right arm, gave to the moonie employees of TWT upon the opening of TWT building. Moon couldn't be there, he was busy being sentenced to prison for tax evasion. Note: James Whelan, mentioned at the beginning of the quote, was the first editor/publisher of the Moonie Times and was HEAVILY recruited for the job because of his tremendous credibility and conservative credentials. As we know, if there is one thing Moon likes to suck, it's the credibility from others. Whelan quit after a year calling TWT a "moonie paper" and saying he had "blood on his hands" for helping start and give it that very credibility.
Excerpt from:http://www.tparents.org/Library/Unification/Books/Tims2/Tims2-40.htm
"Jim Whelan has been given authority to run the Washington Times. He is your boss, your professional boss. He reports to me. You report to your department heads, who report to the top executives, who report to Jim Whelan, Jim Whelan reports to me, and I report to Father. That is the way it goes. And I want to honor the chain of command. So from the professional point of view, you are absolutely loyal to the chain of command."
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"The cardinal rule of journalism, that every allegation must have at least two sources before it is printed, was not enforced the Washington Times, and it was unheard of at the Spectator."
David Brock, Blinded By The Right, page 99
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The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: June 10-16, 2002
These are the ads in the national weekly edition. I hear the DC Metro area edition has different ads. I doubt the ads are more impressive than this bunch:
"You Too Can Develop a Razor-Sharp Mind", book. "And, finally, a rigorously exercised brain will not develop Alzheimer's disease." One would think a cure for Alzheimer's would rate a shout from a rooftop somewhere, but this breakthrough is announced in crudely printed book with home-made line art. Go figure. ($29.95. + 4.95 S&H, P. 5 1/4 page)
Grundig Radios. The cachet of mail-order with a Sharper Image ® price. No wait, it's the other way around. Anyway, buy dad one for Fathers Day. (From $39.95-$149.95. Page 7, color full.
FLAME (Facts and Logic About the Middle East) ad. "As Adolf Hitler discovered, the Big Lie will eventually be accepted as the truth. The Big Lie, the monster whopper of our time, is that the provinces of Judea/Samaria, often called the "West Bank" are "occupied territories." Let's savor the irony of that statement a second. Ahh. OK, in computer programming there's a term, 'self-referential code'...
(Page 9, 4/5 page)
Buy Music CD's by the Andrews Sisters. The music that helped win the war! The only people who buy these CD's are ones who remember the Andrews Sisters. The war was 57 years ago! These people are really old. ($16.95, P. 13, full page)
Buy a super amazing floor lamp. http://www.technoscout.com I think the copywriter got a bonus for how many times he could work the words "natural", "naturally" and "sunlight" into the copy. $129.95 (up from $99.95 in the April 29-May 5 edition), and you have to call(?) to find out what the S&H is. (Page 14 color 3/5 page)
Back from two weeks ago, some guys two page rant. No organization or address is given. America is turning in to the "People's Democratic Socialist United Nations Multicultural Territory of North America". He wants you to fly the 13 star Betsy Ross flag. "SUPPORT unlimited immigration. -And multicultural schools, Government, and society. End elitist Anglo-centrism. Babel is Best!" Reading that makes me feel like a grammar elitist. I'm betting that everyone at the plant he works at hates him, and he is unaware of it. (Page 20-21, two color full pages)
Like that wacky sitcom neighbor, the way too much tiny text ad for something that adds oxygen to water is back. (Page 25, full page)
Verbal Advantage CD's on how to speak. "I learned more from this program than I did in four years of college." (I think it is safe to say that statement is aimed at people who did not get four years of college). (Page 27, color full page, no price given, looks expensive)
The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (Page 34 color full page)
Buy a $398 watch. Main feature seams to be big, easy to read numerals and a name brand Le Grande Elysee that no one has ever heard of. (Page 40, color full page, back cover).
ANALYSIS: An unusually religion-free issue, ads for the elderly and the intelligence challenged predominate.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: June 2-9, 2002
Page 5, 1/2 page: Subscribe to the Accuracy in Media Report. ..exposing liberal media bias for over 30 years ($35 for 24 biweekly issues)
Page 5, 2 col inches: A tiny ad for www.unabombers.com, "Ranked the #1 FBI Conspiracy on Yahoo". There's more at this site than I feel like reading, the drift seems to be that Ted K. didn't do it. But you'll also be treated items like "Unabomber Wig Displayed in a Gay Parody" and "Unabomber Disguised for a Trip to the Fridge"
Page 7, color full page: Book, 'As We Sodomize America'. Accompanied by a picture of Ora Ray Adams, Jr. Attorney at Law, Advocate for a Moral America. Since Ora looks about 75 lbs. overweight, he should really consider including the section on gluttony in his next Bible study. ($29.95 + $6.95 S&H.)
Page 9, 4/5 page: FLAME (Facts and Logic About the Middle East) ad. "Only fuzzy thinkers and incurable optimists can believe that an independent Palestine would become a peaceful neighbor of Israel."
Page 11, full page. Book, How to Fight Prostate Cancer and Win!. "Next, you'll find out how to combine all the best of these vitamins, minerals, herbs, plus some key fatty acids and other nutrients--into the ultimate prevention and cancer-defense program. $19,95 + $5 S&H.
P. 13, full page. CD's for the Elderly. Kingston Trio, Vera Lynn etc. $7.98-$24.98
P. 14, color full page: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 17, full page: Like that wacky sitcom neighbor, the way too much tiny text ad for something that adds oxygen to water is back. (I was flipping through a copy of Newsmax this week and guess which ad I saw?)
Page 20, color full page: http://www.stephenambrosetours.com Tours for the Elderly are back, Lewis and Clark this time. (No price given)
Color flyout card: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 21, The Amchurch Comes Out, a book exposing "how sexual libertinism and 'queer theology' taught in Catholic colleges and seminaries is 'deconstructing' heterosexuality" and "how radical feminist and lesbian theology creates the abusive environment in the Catholic Church". I supose there must be an abusive lesbian somewhere, but when I hear 'abusive envrionment' I picture a drunk redneck dad.
Page 27, color full page: Verbal Advantage ad. "I learned more from this program than I did in four years of college." (I think it is safe to say that statement is aimed at people who did not get four years of college).
Page 34, color full page: The WT is selling two WT books. One is "Our Times: The Washington Times 1982-2002" in which 5 contributors put the WT in perspective. "The Washington Times has pursued truth--wherever it lay hidden--in the coverage...". This is odd since the E-in-C Wes Pruden made a big deal in an editorial a coupla weeks ago about how they pursue "facts" not "truth". But the WT lost its consistency cherry long ago. The other book is a compendium of previously published material. Both discounted to $10, kinda doubt these will ever be much of a revenue stream.
Page 40, color full page, back cover: Grundig Radios. Buy dad one for Fathers Day.
( The DU and bartcop forums handle html differently, so if you see some funny page formatting or the links don't work, visit the archive page at http:www.oocities.org/drdemo2000 )
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: May 27-June 2, 2002
Page 5, 1/2 page: Order the Bose Quiet Comfort Headphones. (No price given)
Page 5, 1/2 page: Buy the WT Coffee mug. "Order While Supplies Last!" There is a risk of them never getting any more? ($10.95 + $3 S&H)
Page 7, color full page: Order Classic Country CD's. And they do mean classic: Hank Williams SR., Loretta Lynn, Marty Robbins et. al. Interestingly, John Wayne also recorded an album, America, Why I Love Her ($12.98-$19.98)
Page 9, 3/10 page: Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this ground breaking book... ($19.95 + $4.95 S&H.)
Page 11, 1/3 page: Buy Conspiracy Books, such as Defrauding America (http://www.defraudingamerica.com) and Unfriendly Skies (http://www.unfriendlyskies.com) "For 20 years, federal judges engaged in a scheme to block reporting of federal crimes...($28 + $4 S&H)
P. 13, full page: Subscribe to WORLD magazine, The "only weekly news magazine in America to provide you with timely news and current events from a biblical perspective." SUMMER TRAVEL ISSUE: Historical Sites That Overcome Political Correctness (No price given) (P. 13, full page)
Page 14, color full page: Alphapub (http://www.alphapub.com) Summary: Wack job. Visit the site for more info. No price given.
Page 17, full page: Like that wacky sitcom neighbor, the way too much tiny text ad for something that adds oxygen to water is back. Although I am an Engineer, not a doctor, we receive amazing daily reports about the effects of changing water properties: One man developed horrible rashes that...
Page 20-21, two color full pages: Another too much text ad. No organization or address is given. America is turning in to the "People's Democratic Socialist United Nations Multicultural Territory of North America". He wants you to fly the 13 star Betsy Ross flag. "SUPPORT unlimited immigration. -And multicultural schools, Government, and society. End elitist Anglo-centrism. Babel is Best!" Reading that makes me feel like a grammar elitist. I'm betting that everyone at the plant he works at hates him, and he is unaware of it.
Color Flyout Card: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 27, color full page: http://www.stephenambrosetours.com Tours for the Elderly are back, Lewis and Clark this time. (No price given)
Page 34, color full page: The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 40, color back cover: Buy a HOLY SHIT! $500 + $25 S&H Radio from Grundig. Truly, I'm reminded of one advertisers description of the AM radio demographic: "Bedridden." Get your $500 radio at http://www.grundigradio.com.
What have we learned this week?
After discounting WT ads in WT for WT (Pages 5, 34 and flyout card) easily retains it's 20 year streak of failing to sell enough ads to cover its printing costs. Comically, just this week:
In an editorial, E-in-C Wesley Pruden (http://www.washtimes.com/national/20020524-69533818.htm)
claims "By all measurements, we've become one of the fastest-growing newspapers in America, at a time when newspaper circulation is generally declining. The circulation of our national edition is already considerably larger than the circulation of the national edition of The Post,"
forgets to mention somehow his paper is subsidized by the moonies.
Oh yeah, advertisers who want to reach elderly, hate-filled, Christians know this is the place to be.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Visit the Washington Times at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A22324-2002May15.html
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times: May 20-26, 2002
Lets look at what the editors of the Washington Time think you are dumb enough to pay money for this week.
Page 5, full page: Subscribe to Insight magazine. This is also a moonie pub so the WT isn't making any net money running this ad. As for insights in Insight, you would have been the first to know "about the environmental regulation that allowed the Twin Towers to collapse in only an hour." (Hint: Everyone is for saving the environment, except those who make money off of ruining it. They pay for a constant PR campaign against the environment. This is what you are reading)
Page 7, color full page: Buy Conspiracy Books and Videos. Skull and Bones, CIA secrets, that sort of thing. Starting at $24.95. Also try theconspiracychannel.com and madcowprod.com
Page 9, 3/10 page: Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this ground breaking book... ($19.95 + $4.95 S&H.)
Tours geared towards WWII Vets (Italy campaign etc.) (No price given. P. 11, full page)
Page 13, full page: Buy Music from the...1930's? Wonderful 30's, The Golden Age of Song. Also Available are Legendary Vaudeville and Swing America. Prices ranging from $14.95 to $34.95.
Page 14, color full page: They splurged on a color ad for themselves: The WT took out a full page ad in the WT wanting you to subscribe to the WT.
Page 17, full page: Like that wacky sitcom neighbor, the way too much tiny text ad for something that adds oxygen to water is back. Although I am an Engineer, not a doctor, we receive amazing daily reports about the effects of changing water properties: One man developed horrible rashes that...
Pages 20-21, color full pages: The BOAC (Business Owners Action Committee) is upset, two full pages upset, write your congressman now upset, all because "the argument made by the government is that the amount of money paid to the Business Owners of Telecom2000 is far too large to be considered "normal." Therefore, they summarized that it must be a pyramid or ponzi scheme."
Oddly, they do not have a web page, but if you are hopping mad about their treatment at the hand of the evil feds you can write them at 106 Oaklawn Drive, West Monroe, LA 71291 (Damn, doesn't that sound like a residential address? You would think the 'business owner's action committee' could come up with a business address. Or at least a P.O. Box.
Page 27, color full page: Book, Goodbye, Good Men: How Liberals Brought Corruption into the Catholic Church. "Psychological Counseling is used to screen out the faithful" (Among the many shocking revelations in this book). I would also argue with the premise of the subtitle (Liberalism has only been around since the late 1700's, (picking Rousseau as a starting point)) while the Catholic Church in the 1500's was...not corrupt?) Oh well, If you're a Catholic reading the Moonie Washington Times you already have issues. If this melts your butter it will only set you back $24.95 + $5 S&H. And yes, it is from that beacon of truth Regnery Publishing
Page 40, color back cover: Winning the award for the only non-Loony advertisement in the whole paper, you can by a Bose wave radio. This 12 low interest free monthly payments
device seems geared to people who can't get down to Best Buy and get something better, cheaper.
What have we learned?
Listen up you elderly Catholics: Father Felatio was a good conservative peddy until he was turned into a a liberal. He is just ill, ill with the disease of liberalism. Pray for him. Send money. Environmentalism made the WTC collapse.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Props to the prop from hatrack, who also wins the award for "Best Single Sentence":
"This is a consistently hilarious laundry list and I look forward to reviewing the fruits of your research each week."
Only in America could a crackpot delusional South Korean brainwashing megalomaniac enlist Charlton Heston to tout gold coins on the seldom-read pages of a consistently money-losing exercise in Beltway phony journalism.
Visit the Washington Times and Dr. Laura at http://www.usasurvival.org/moonbyslaura.shtml
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times, May 13-19, 2002
What these old people have about buying coins is beyond me. Do they really think that society is going to crash in some Mad Max style post-nuclear holocaust and their 78 year old ass is going to survive because of these coins? Or when the rapture comes their coins are going to be lifted up into the sky with them? Oh well, they'll be happy they spent $29 on two "mint-state quality"(?) silver dollars. ($29 + $2 S&H, P. 5 1/4 page)
Buy a Grundig ($149 + $10 S&H, P. 7 Color full page)
"EVERYTHING IS ELECTRONS INCLUDING YOU!" One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P.9, full page)
Tours geared towards WWII Vets (Italy campaign etc.) (No price given. P. 11, full page)
"You Too Can Develop a Razor-Sharp Mind", book. Oddly, this medical breakthrough was not first published in Nature or JAMA: "And, finally, a rigorously exercised brain will not develop Alzheimer's disease." ($29.95. + 4.95 S&H, P. 13 1/4 page)
The WT wants you to buy the WT coffee mug. $10.95 + $3 S&H (P. 14, full page)
Again with the coins. Pry a $20 Saint Gaudens gold piece from Charlton Heston's cold, dead fingers. HestonGoldCoins, (No price, P. 18, Color 3/5 page)
Attend the Western Conservative Conference! This is an 12 page "Special Advertorial Section". (their words). I love this headline on the first page Lyn Nofziger: Most Beloved Figure of Reagan Era. Interestingly, the website of the conference is WWW.LYNNOFZIGER.COM so I think he can kiss that "Mr. Humility 2002 Award" goodbye. The section contains a mix of faux articles ("...Hayes especially thanked the Washington Times National Weekly Edition, calling it "The indispensable source of information for conservatives...", and paranoia (booklet, "Stealth Invasion: Red Chinese Operations in North America"). (12 pages, 2 color, murky but probably unwholesome financing.)
Self help CD's, "Conversation Confidence". ...The 2 most powerful instant rapport techniques...How to "work a room" the way the champion socializers do...Verbal Advantage (No price given, which means expensive. P. 19 color full page)
Subscribe to WORLD magazine, The "only weekly news magazine in America to provide you with timely news and current events from a biblical perspective." No price given. (P. 25, full page)
Another Verbal Advantage ad. "I learned more from this program than I did in four years of college." (I think it is safe to say that statement is aimed at people who did not get four years of college). (No Price given. P. 30 color full page)
Book, Goodbye, Good Men: How Liberals Brought Corruption into the Catholic Church. I didn't know that "Psychological Counseling is used to screen out the faithful". I might also argue with the premise of the subtitle (Liberalism has only been around since the late 1700's, (picking Rousseau as a starting point)) while the Catholic Church in the 1500's was...not corrupt? Oh well, If you're a Catholic reading the Moonie Washington Times you already have issues. If this melts your butter it will only set you back $24.95 + $5 S&H. (P. 40, color full page, back cover)
What have we learned this week?
Ads for the elderly had an early strong showing, but it looks like the stupid pulled ahead (Razor sharp mind, verbal advantage) around the final turn. It also goes to show that investing in gold and silver is not just stupid, it's elderly and stupid.
I'm kind of distressed at how stupid, elderly hate-filled christians are wasting what remains of whatever life they had. They allow these low on the food chain types at the WT to prey on them just by reinforcing their hate. INSTEAD: Plant a garden, call an old friend, sweep the sidewalk in front of your building. Just do something that reinforces a positive emotion for a change. Don't be a dying cockroach, on your back, legs still twitching, while the HATE tape replays and replays and replays until metabolism finally ceases...
Another WT Reality Check next week.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Visit the Washington Times at "President George Bush, upon leaving office, also hired himself to Japan and gave a speech to 50,000 disciples of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon."
or http://www.nhne.com/misc/sunmyungmoon.html
or http://www.sonic.net/sentinel/1earth4.html
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times, April 29-May 5, 2002
- Oh sheesh, check out page 7. After weeks of pushing the buy-your-mother-a-four-line-greeting-in-WT, they managed to sell (drumroll please) FIFTEEN OF THEM! Hmmm. 15 X $25 = $375. For a color full page! Plus they took it up the ying yang on those four 3/5 page ads in the previous weeks too. Some scary business geniuses these guys are.
- (Facts and Logic About the Middle East) ad. Well, there is a Yiddish saying, "In thFLAMEe court of chickens the corn is always guilty". Or in this ad, the Palestinians. "Do the Poles return the huge chunk of Germany that they acquired in the Wake of World War II? Do the Czechs return the Sudetenland, do the French return Alsace-Lorraine? Of course not!"
(P. 11, 4/5 page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. ($59.95 / year P. 20, color full page)
- One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. "A man from Turkey bought a Type B machine and showed investors how just small amounts of the water could purify polluted rivers..."(P. 17, full page)
- A full color 2 page spread of the proud names of people who support our President. No, really, here it is: "We, the undersigned, believe George W. Bush is doing an outstanding job as Commander-in-Chief and Leader of our Beloved Nation." So it has now devolved into a matter of faith, due to a lack of empirical evidence, that they believe GWB is doing an outstanding job? Apparently the Pizza Inn of Apex, NC and Nationwide Mortgage believe so.
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (color flyout card)
- Those hard core Catholics at New Oxford Review ( http://www.newoxfordreview.org/ ) are back. They have to know this is a moonie organ since I emailed them weeks ago and told them. Maybe they were so busy working on that hard hitting expose of the links between Opus Dei and the Fascists in WWII, that they didn't have time to read it. Anyway, You can get a year for $14.
- Buy a super amazing floor lamp. http://www.technoscout.com I think the copywriter got a bonus for how many times he could work the words "natural", "naturally" and "sunlight" into the copy. $99, and you have to call(?) to find out what the S&H is.
- Buy gold. And really, roll this sentence around on your tongue, to really savor the sublime irony of it: "Discover How With As Little As $15 Per Month, You Too Can Experience Financial Security"(P. 40, color full page, back cover)
Some people (me) believe the WT intentionally lies. Special thanks to Ted Williams of Audubon magazine, who actually went out and proving it:
"I am unable to determine how the Times could not have known the "biofraud" tale was false before it published at least six of its "news" stories and two of its editorials. Audrey Hudson, who wrote all but one of the 12 stories,..."
...(snip)...
This was my conversation with Hudson.
TW: "Are you going to issue a retraction and apology?"
AH: "No. We stand by our story."
TW "But you've known it was false at least since December...."
AH: "I reported what the Forest Service told me. We stand by our story."
TW: "But the Forest Service told you in its investigation report that your story isn't true..."
AH: "I'm not going to quibble with you."
More info at http://lynxfur.50megs.com/
Another WT Reality Check next week.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Visit the Washington Times at http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/s2.cfm?id=412062002
The Weekly Review of Advertising in The Washington Times, April 29-May 5, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
- Buy 2 silver coins: "mint-state quality"..."We'll rush you beautiful mint quality with no trace of wear (some bag marks will be present, as is normal)" (I don't know squat about coins, but I did notice the words 'mint' and 'condition' don't appear in the ad). ($29 + $2 S&H, P. 5, 1/4 page.)
- Buy Mom a gold necklace for Mother's Day. "Pure gold and pure silver may be too expensive for jewelry stores because they must deal with 'middlemen' forcing high markups and outrageous prices",($99 to $399, Page 7, color full page. $99 to $399)
- Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this groundbreaking book..." ($19.95 + $4.95 S&H. P. 9, 3/10 page)
- Attend the Western Conservative Conference. $90, or up to $2500 if you want to pretend you are at a higher station in life than you really are: "...admission to VIP lounge at all times during conference, private introduction to all speakers, special seating at all meal functions..." (P. 11, full page)
- HEALTH LIES EXPOSED! Order a bi-monthly newsletter, The Crusador that "tackles these tough health issues from a biblical perspective."$19.95 / year. Color 3/5 page.
- One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P. 17, full page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. ($59.95 / year P. 20, color full page)
- Book, 'As We Sodomize America'. "The book exposes the homosexual agenda and the way propoganda has..." ($29.95 + $6.95 S&H. P. 21, Color full page)
- Place a 4 line Mothers Day greeting in the WT's May 6th edition. ($25. P. 26, 3/5 page)
- Charlton Heston wants to send you a free report called "The 10 Timeless Truths of Gold Investing" (P. 27, 3/5 page)
- Buy the only CD/MP3 Player with removable speakers ($149.95 + $10 S&H. P. 40, color full page, back cover.
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED ABOUT THE WT?
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (P. 20), the WT yet again fails to sell enough ads to cover its printing costs. Maybe Moon will be forced to sell some of his 500,000 acres in Brazil and Paraguay. (The Lord called him to buy large tracts on both sides of the border for some no-doubt wholesome reason).
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED ABOUT THE WT READERS?
Let's see, they're thinking about investing in precious metals of some sort (Pages 5 & 27), but are so clueless they'd consider, well, the ads on pages 5 & 27. They think buying jewelry mail order is a good idea. (P. 7) Or perhaps they have a job in commission sales (P. 9) and are starting to doubt that commission sales was a wise career choice, and a book will give them the key to success. Since they have a weekend free, they are thinking about dropping in to the Western Conservative Conference and uh, helping them with their grammar? "Panels & speakers presented by our Primary Sponsors & Sponsors including many of the top 35 conservative legislators in California." (actual sentence).
"Honey, look at page 17. it says "Gray hair looks fine but here is proof in REVERSES AGING!! NO OTHER PRODUCT CAN DO THIS!! A 78 year old woman with stone white hair turned dark, smoother skin." (actual sentences).
Another WT Reality Check next week.
FUN QUOTES ABOUT THE WT:
"I was at a shopping center in the DC area about two weeks ago, and there were two newspaper boxes, one with the Washington Post (issue price 35 cents) and the other with the Washington Times (issue price a quarter). Yes, Virginia, the VRWF is indeed subsidizing this propaganda sheet. Legit advertizers apparently shun the WT, as you point out, and they undercut the WP in issue price to get people to read it. They clearly don't care about profitability, only the distribution of propaganda as widely as possible."
"Everywhere you saw newspaper machines, the Moonie Times one was always FULL. (Reverend Moon's headline for the day was "Bush, Saudi prince 'share vision'". The other, reasonable papers, didn't have such a rosy spin). I saw a roughly equal number of Washington Post machines, but the majority were either sold out or half-full."
"The fact that you are suprised by this is depressing because it just means that people who don't know the real status of the Moonie Times might take it seriously. I used to live in DC, and everyone there knows the Times is a joke. The local City Paper once had a running gag about how hard it was to cancel your subscription and about how mystery copies showed up at people's houses regularly. I don't know anyone who read it except the extremely politically connected to find out what was going on with the far right."
Another WT Reality Check next week.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Visit the Washington Times at http://www.thescotsman.co.uk/s2.cfm?id=412062002
The Washington Times Reality Check: April 22-28, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
- Order the Bose Quiet Comfort Headphones.(No price given. P. 11, 1/2 page)
- Buy Conspiracy Books. "..why historical facts are suppressed, why the kids can't read, why politicians lie, and a hundred other lies.",($14.95-24.95 + $4.55 S&H P. 7, color full page)
- Tours geared towards WWII Vets. (No price given. P. 9, color full page)
- Buy More Conspiracy Books. "Discover the role played by Federal Judges that insured the success of the September 11 Hijackers",($25 + $4 S&H P. 11, 3/5 page)
- Buy Songbooks for Your Piano e.g., "100 Hymns with just 3 chords" A great EASY collection that lets you play any song with just 3 chords! ($12.95 - 39.95 + $3.95 S&H P. 13, full page)
- Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this groundbreaking book..." ($19.95 + $4.95 S&H. P. 14, 3/10 page)
- One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P. 17, full page)
- Attend the Western Conservative Conference. $90, or up to $2500 if you want to pretend you are at a higher station in life than you really are: "...admission to VIP lounge at all times during conference, private introduction to all speakers, special seating at all meal functions..." (P. 19, 3/5 page)
- Buy reprints of out of print conservative books. "FREE with every order! Short Essay On True Patriotism" ($20 - $44 + 10% S&H, P. 20 color full page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $59.95 / year (color flyout card)
- Book, 'As We Sodomize America'. "The book exposes the homosexual agenda and the way propoganda has..." ($29.95 + $6.95 S&H. P. 21, Color full page)
- Place a 4 line Mothers Day greeting in the WT's May 6th edition. ($25. P. 25, 3/5 page)
- Charlton Heston wants to send you a free report called "The 10 Timeless Truths of Gold Investing" (P. 27, 3/5 page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $59.95 / year (P. 34, color full page)
- Buy a 1/10th oz. reproduction of the 1889 CC Morgan silver 1 oz. coin. How this will ever be valuable I'm not sure. (P. 40, color full page, back cover)
DARN, WE ARE NOT PROFITABLE AGAIN THIS WEEK!
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Page 34 and flyout card), the WT continues its 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover its printing costs. Gosh, I hope Rev. Moon's personal fortune isn't in danger of running out.
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?
- Applying some profiling skills, we see that the Washington Times readers are elderly (they buy piano hymn songbooks, and tours of WWII battlefields)
- They are not very smart about investing. (They buy gold and silver).
- They are not very smart, period. (They think that adding oxygen to water REVERSES AGING!!NO OTHER PRODUCT CAN DO THIS!! A 78 year old woman with stone white hair turned dark, smoother skin. (That is the actual sentence as it appeard in the ad).
- They like BOSE stereo equipment. Must be because Paul Harvey does too.
- Like to think that there are conspiracies everywhere. How you sneak a 'homosexual agenda' past your average local school board is beyond me. When federal judges and saudi terrorists get together to socialize is beyond me. Why anyone would believe that the Republican elite wants to meet them at the Airport Marriot in Ontario, CA is beyond me.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Check out the Washington Times at http://www.perkel.com/politics/moonies/bush.htm
The Washington Times Reality Check: April 15-21, 2002
METHODOLOGY Back in college studying poli sci, I learned that the way to tell what the editors for a publication think of their readers is to look at the advertising, not the editorial content. Examples:
- You won't see an ad Bud Light in Newsweek. Bud Light drinkers don't read Newsweek.
- You won't see an ad for Fidelity Prefered Security Funds on The Cartoon Network. Cartoon Network viewers don't buy mutual funds.
See? Knowing the demographics of readers is life-or-death vital to the publication.. So let's find out what the editors at WT really think of their readers.
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
- Buy the Websters 1828 Dictionary, Book and CD. Ominously, no price is given. (P. 5, 1/2 page)
- Tours geared towards WWII Vets. No price given. (P. 7, color full page)
- "Early in the past century, the late Richard W. Wetherill identified nature's behavioral law and taught it to all that would listen." Six books available, no price given. (P. 9, full page)
- Charlton Heston wants to send you a free report called "The 10 Timeless Truths of Gold Investing" (P. 10, 3/5 page)
- Buy "A harmless looking flashlight that will render any attacker helpless". It pointedly does not explain how it works, although the picture shows lightning bolts coming from it. $19.95 + $3.50 Postage. (P. 11, 3/10 page)
- Book, 'Selling is Simple'. "if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this groundbreaking book..." $19.95 + $4.95 S&H. (P. 13, 3/10 page)
- The WT wants you to buy the WT coffee mug. $10.95 + $3 S&H (P. 14, Color full page)
- Attend the Western Conservative Conference. $90, or up to $2500 if you want to pretend you are at a higher station in life than you really are: "...admission to VIP lounge at all times during conference, private introduction to all speakers, special seating at all meal functions..." (P. 15, 3/5 page)
- One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P. 17, full page)
- Subscribe to Campus Report, "Terrorists aren't the only ones who hate America" $29 / year (P. 19, full page)
- Subscribe to Newsmax Magazine, "Trooper Patterson shares the Clinton Secrets, including why he believes Vince Foster really died..." There are those who believe Foster didn't die? $79.95 / 2 years. (P. 20, color full page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $59.95 / year (color flyout card)
- Buy A Grundig Windup Radio and Emergency Light. $47.45 (P. 21, color full page)
- Place a 4 line Mothers Day greeting in the WT's May 6th edition. $25. (P. 25, 3/5 page)
- Buy a hearing aid by mail order. Possibly $300, they don't quite commit to that price. (P. 27, color full page)
- Book, 'As We Sodomize America'. "...startling fact-filled expose of the infiltration of homosexuality in America's schools." $29.95 + $6.95 S&H. (P. 34, Color full page)
- Donate to the 'Center for the Study of Popular Culture' to fight the slavery reparations scam. "The lawyers conducting the reparations suits are well aware they do not have a legal leg to stand on. Their objective is not to adjucate these issues in a court of law, but to cause a public relations nightmare for the companies under siege..." You can donate $25 to $1000. (P. 35, full page)
- Buy a "Firefighter Memorial" silver coin. Way cool, you can now print color on silver, or else the picture doesn't match what you get. $39.95 + $5 S&H (P. 40, collor full page, back cover.
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Page 14 and flyout card (although an overpriced coffee mug might turn in to a huge revenue source, you never know)), we have learned that the WT continues its 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover its printing costs. (A for-profit publication must be about 1/2 advertising to survive. Count the ad pages in your favorite for-profit publication or hometown newspaper if you disagree). Let's hope the 'Operation Mass Weddings' program soon breeds enough new revenue sources for Rev. Moon.
AND WE HAVE LEARNED ABOUT WT READERS?
Well, they're elderly (WWII tours, attacker stun guns, an ad with Charlton Heston) but not very intelligent (adding oxygen to water improves your neighbors crop yield? A book gives you the secret to 'nature's behavioral law'?).
WT readers seem to think that homosexuals are infiltrating the schools (and we know how "those" types have over run local school boards)
WT readers seem to think that those uppity (insert manditory two minute speech every freeper talk show host gives when accused of racism, here) have a chance in hell of getting slave reparations from major corporations ("I'll take The Unlikely for $1000, Alex")
WT readers seem to think that buying a hearing aid by mail order is a good idea.
WT readers seem to think that there is "classroom indoctrination" on college campuses.
WT readers seem to think that Hillary Clinton shared secrets with Trooper Patterson.
WT readers seem to think Republican movers and shakers meet at the airport Marriot.
But if buying an old dictionary or wind up radio melts your butter, rock on.
This page is archived at http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Check out the Washington Times at http://www.lisatrust.net/Media/cults-gb2.htm
The Washington Times Reality Check: April 8-14, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
- Buy 25 Cigars and a Cedar Humidor, $30 (P. 5, 1/3 page)
- The WT wants you to buy the WT Coffee Mug. $10.95 + $3 S&H (P. 7, color full page)
- "Early in the past century, the late Richard W. Wetherill identified nature's behavioral law and taught it to all that would listen." Six books available, no price given. (P. 9, full page)
- "Black Listed Cancer Treatment Could Save Your Life" Don't waste another minute. There are only a limited number of these books in stockand unless order volume is extraordinarily high we may not be able to print more life-saving copies. $19.95 + $4 S&H (P. 11, full page)
- Book, "Selling is Simple" if you are in any area of selling, you should be able to at least quadruple your performance by reading this groundbreaking book... $19.95 + $4.95 S&H. (P. 13, 1/3 page)
- Buy spam software. You can send thousands of personalized email, [sic] letters and faxes and letters in just seconds. $79.95 + 4.95 S&H. (P. 14, color full page)
- One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P. 17, full page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $59.95 / year (P. 20, color full page)
- The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. $59.95 / year (color flyout card)
- Verbal Advantage 24 CD Set ...a strong command of the English language is directly linked to career advancement. Ominously, no price is given. (P. 21, color full page)
- Subscribe to WORLD magazine, The only weekly newsmagazine in America to provide you with timely news and current events from a biblical perspective. No price given. (P. 25, full page)
- Place a 4 line Mothers Day greeting in the WT's May 6th edition. $25. (P. 27, color 3/5 page)
- Buy the Bose Wave Radio/CD. Uh oh, no price is given but you can get '12 low interest-free' monthly payments.(P. 40, full page color back cover)
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED THIS WEEK?
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Page 20 and flyout card), we have learned that the WT continues it's 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover its printing costs. (A for-profit publication must be about 1/2 advertising to survive. Count the ad pages in your favorite for-profit publication or hometown newspaper if you disagree). Let's hope the 'Operation Mass Weddings' program soon breeds enough new revenue sources for Rev. Moon.
AND WE HAVE LEARNED THAT WT READERS ARE:
Paying too much for cigars (P. 5), coffee mugs (P. 7) and radios (P. 40)
Concerened they aren't as smart as others, so they buy self-help mysterious-secret-of-life-solved books (Pp.9, 13). and CD's to improve their English.
Indeed, prove they are not as smart as others. (P. 11, 17)
And they want their news to be Christian. (P. 25).
These ads are mostly harmless (separating the elderly from their money) but that phony cancer cure one is just vile. Hope you get cancer soon yourselves, guys.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Check out the Washington Times at http://www.usasurvival.org/moon-un.html
if that link doesn't work try this one: http://www.freedomofmind.com/groups/moonies/moonies.asp
Reality Check: The Washington Times, April 1-7, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
Join The Conservative Book Club. Same $ as all other book clubs. (P. 5, full page)
Contribute to fight against "United Nations Taxes". Comically, there is a checkbox to contribute $10,000 (P. 7, full page)
"You Too Can Develop a Razor-Sharp Mind", book, $29.95. (P. 9 1/4 page)
Buy overpriced, out of print books. "The Life of John Jay", $44 (Pp. 10-11, 2 pages)
Buy WT's booklet of Congressional staff info. $9.95 plus $3 S&H. (P. 13 1/2 page)
One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P. 14, full page)
Dual ad, buy a booklet on the healing powers of Hydrogen Peroxide, $9.95, and a booklet on how to protect your assets from Medicare. $9.95 (P. 17, full page)
FLAME Ad. "Israel should respond harshly to any further provocations and should not enter into any further negotiations with the Palestine Authority and with Yassir Arafat-a blood stained terrorist." (P. 19, 2/3 page)
The WT wants you to go to the WT Web site. (P. 20, color full page)
The WT wants you to subscribe to the WT. (color flyout card)
Join The Conservative Book Club. Same $ as all other book clubs. (P. 21, color full page)
Subscribe to "a spunky orthodox Catholic magazine." $14/year. (P. 25, 2/3 page)
Order "Our Nation Betrayed" (guess by which recent President)(hint: he was elected). $14.95 + $4 S&H. (P 27. color full page)
Subscribe to Newsmax Magazine, $40/year. "Trooper Patterson's claims that Hillary wants to be President finds convincing corroboration..." I swear I did not make that up. (P. 34, color full page)
"Early in the past century, the late Richard W. Wetherill identified nature's behavioral law and taught it to all that would listen." Six books available, no price given. (P. 35, full page)
Buy a Grundig AM/FM/Shortwave Radio. Holy shit, it's $524.95 plus tax. (P. 40, back cover, color)
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED THIS WEEK?
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Pages 13, 20, flyout card), the WT continues it's 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover its printing costs. Let's hope the 'Operation Mass Weddings' program soon breeds enough new revenue sources for Rev. Moon.
AND THAT WT READERS ARE:
Still concerened they aren't as smart as others, so they buy self-help brain power books.
Still elderly, as they are worried about Medicare. Maybe adding oxygen to water or hydrogen peroxide will help?
Still desperately reinforcing their worldview, with Newsmax, WT, and Conservative Book Clubs.
Possibly tempted by a Catholic Magazine ad published in a Moonie paper. (They gotta know, I sent them an email)(Sometimes you just gotta go 'WTF?' and move on).
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Check out the Washington Times at http://www.usasurvival.org/moon-un.html
if that link doesn't work try this one: http://www.freedomofmind.com/groups/moonies/moonies.asp
Reality Check: The Washington Times, February 25-March 3, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
P. 7 Watch the Judicial Watch Report on DC TV Ch. 5, Greenbelt Ch.58 and on the Dish Network's
"Sky Angel". Their motto: "We don't just report the news. We make the news."
P. 9 (1/3 page) Order books where "Government insiders reveal the misconduct by U.S. personnel that insured the success of September 11"...
P. 11 (1/2 page) Order the Bose Quiet Comfort Headphones.
P. 14 Movies & Memories, order videos of movies and TV shows, heavily tilted to the 1930's, 40's and 50's. Interestingly, between Shirly Temple and the Honymooners is the "Occult History of the Third Reich."
PP. 21-22 Sun Pure Air Purifier: "Dust mites are an unpleasant reality most of us know little about!"
P. 25 One of those way too much text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address.
P. 27 American Foundation Publications sells books, such as a "History of the United States". ("American history the RIGHT way, from a master scholar of the 19th century.")
P. 34 The Washington Times wants you to go to the Washington Times web site.
P. 40, Back Cover The Washington Times wants you to subscribe to the Washington Times.
The easiest way to tell what the readers of a magazine are like is to look at the magazines advertising, therefore:
P. 7 If only they would change their slogan to "We make up the news."
P. 9 "...defense against the vast terrorist threat requires identifying, removing the guilty, and acting to prevent a continuation of misconduct by government officials..."
P. 11 "No highs, no lows, must be Bose."
P. 14 Advertise in the WT to reach that lucrative aged 80 plus demographic.
P. 21-22 NEVER use the transporter during an ion storm, or you may end up in the Unpleasant Reality of Dust Mites.
P. 25 I charged my well only ONCE with your water and milk production went up every month on my farm and the farm next door for a year!
P. 27 Pay full cover price. For material in the public domain. (Please note that additional history may have happened since the 1800's, consult your local public library).
Yet again, the editors of the WT think their readers are A) morons or B) elderly or C) A+B.
--------------------
Note 1.
7 pages of paid advertising out of 40 do not a profitable publication make. We'll have to disqualify pages 34 and the back cover, since it is very hard to generate revenue with your own ads in your own newspaper. (Unless you can make thousands by writing a check to yourself, cashing it, writing another check to yourself, cashing it, etc.). A self sustaining magazine has to be about 50% advertising to survive. Pick the magazine or newspaper of your choice and compare square inches of editorial with square inches of advertising if you disagree. Not only that, the inside front cover, inside back cover, and back cover are the most valuable magazine real estate, yet they couldn't sell it to anybody. This is clearly a subsidized paper, but this is hardly news to the readers of this forum.
Reality Check: The Washington Times, March 18-24, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
--Bose Noise cancelling Headphones. No pprice listed, but you can get them for "12 low interest-free payments."(P. 5, 1/2 page)
--Buy a characol print of St. Reagan, $775 ($125 with frame)(P. 7, 1.3 page)
--Buy 'Get Rich In Mail Order', book. $119.95 (P. 9, 1/3 page)
--Subscribe to the 'New Oxford Review' aa Catholic magazine where we don't shy away from the "hard" teachings of Christ and His Church, $14 a year. (P. 11, 2/3 page)
--The Washington Times wants you to donaate to the Washington Times so the Washington Times can go in schools. Asking for $35, will take anything. (P. 13, full page)
--The Washington Times wants you to go tto the Washington Times web site.(P. 14, full page)
--Buy "The Coming Battle", a 100 year olld book on how going off the gold standard was bad. $29.95 (P. 19 1/3 page)
--Buy an 'Authentic, Appraised 1955 reprroduction of 'The Declaration of Independence'. Holy shit, they want $399 for it. (Pp. 20-21, 2 pages)
--One of those way too much tiny text adds for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P.25, full page)
--Buy "Our Nation Betrayed", book, with "50 potential acts of treason by Bill Clinton, his cabinet members and appointees". $14.95 (p. 27, full page)
--The Washington Times wants you to subsscribe to the Washington Times.(P 34, full page)
--Buy a portable radio from Grundig. $1229 (P. 40, back cover)
---------------------
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED THIS WEEK?
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Pages 13, 14 and 34), the WT continues it's 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover it's printing costs. Lets hope the 'Operation Mass Weddings' program soon breeds enough new revenue sources for Rev. Moon.
Not that they're not trying. The WT printed "10 original stories, 3 editorials, 2 Op-Eds and 13 letters" on the phony lynx hairs story, then wanted to screw $9,450 from an environmental organization to buy a full page to counter the WT. Sounds a lot like what the Repubs routinely accuse Jesse Jackson of doing. The WT even mocked up the ad for them--check it out at:
ENGINEERING A SCANDAL:
How the Washington Times Manipulated the Lynx Story
http://www.peer.org/Lynx/times_factsheet.html
Lets see, they still worship Reagan (P. 7)
They like, uh 'fringe', reading material (Pages 9, 11, 19 and 27). Although I don't understand why if "We know why we're Catholic, and we're not ashamed to tell the world about it" (P. 11), that so many court records are still sealed.
Also, they listen to the radio (P. 40). I'm going to go out on a limb and guess their favorite band is AM.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Reality Check: The Washington Times, March 11-17, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
--Buy a Bose Wave Radio (P. 5 1/3 page)<
--Buy Bush bumper stickers($2), mugs($111.85), and t-shirts($13.95)(P. 7, 1/2 page)
--Bose Noise cancelling Headphones. No pprice listed, but you can get them for "12 low interest-free payments."(P. 9, 1/2 page)
--Buy music from the 50's and 60's. 2 CDD's $19.95 (P. 11, full page)
--A paranoia ad from the 'Numismatic Guaaranty Corp. of America'. Call. (P. 13, 1/4 page)
--Buy 'storable food'. Call.(P.17, 1/6 ppage)
--Buy 'Selling is Simple', selling tips from a real Fuller Brush salesman. $19.95 (P. 19, 1/3 page)
--Buy an 'Authentic, Appraised 1955 reprroduction of 'The Declaration of Independence. Holy shit, they want $399 for it. (Pp. 20-21, 2 pages)
--The Washington Times wants you to subsscribe to the Washington Times.(Pp.20-21, Flyout card)
--One of those way too much tiny text adds for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address. (P.25, full page)
--Buy Country Music Hits from the 50's aand 60's. Cd's between $10 and $25. (P. 27, full page)
--The Washington Times wants you to subsscribe to the Washington Times. (P.34, full page)
--Book "Shakedown, exposing the real Jesssie Jackson. $29.95 (P.40, full page, back cover)
---------------------
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED THIS WEEK?
After disregarding WT ads in WT for WT (Page 34 and flyout card), the WT continues it's 20 year tradition of failing to sell enough advertising to cover it's printing costs. Lets hope the 'Operation Mass Weddings' program breeds enough new revenue sources for Rev. Moon soon.
The moron quotient is a little light this week, with just the stockpile coins for the end times ad (p.13) and the baby salesman book (p. 19). Maybe throw the Jesse Jackson book (p. 40) in with this bunch too. What do you know, the book is from Regnery Publishing, I should look in and see if they are a money losing operation too.
But the clear majority of ads this week are aimed towards the elderly. Distasteful as it may seem, one duty that befalls many adult children is deciding when to take the check book away from an aging mom or dad. Seeing them reading this newspaper is definitely one of the signs that you should consider it.
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Reality Check: The Washington Times, March 4-10, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
P. 5 (1/3 page) Bose Wave Radio
P. 7 (1/3 page) Buy a $75 charcoal print of Saint Reagan
P. 9 (1/2 page) A 17 Year old budding fascist is hawking an anti clinton manuscript. free.
P. 11 (1/3 page) Book, "How You Too Can Develop A Razor Sharp Mind..." $35
P. 13 (1/3 page) Video on breast cancer, "proving the ineffectiveness of conventional therapy and an abundance of research documenting the effectiveness of a natural common sense approach."
P. 14 (full page) Buy .999 pure Silver Eagle coins, $6.17 + $7 S&H. Curiously, the weight of the coin is not mentioned.
p. 17 (2/3 page) FLAME (Facts and Logic About the Middle East) ad, dispelling some myths from the "Arab Propaganda Machine".
P. 21 (full page) Increase your vocabulary with Verbal Advantage, $29.95
P. 25 (full page) One of those way too much tiny text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address.
P. 27 (full page) The Washington Times wants you to go to the Washington Times web site.
P. 34 (full page) The Washington Times wants you to subscribe to the Washington Times.
P. 40 (full page, back cover) Tours geared towards WWII vets. No price listed.
---------------------
What have we learned about Washington Times readers this week?
From pages 11 (Razor Sharp Mind) and 21 (Verbal Advantage) we learn they are concerned they aren't as smart as others.
From pages 13 (Breast Cancer) , 14 (silver coins) , and 25 (miracle water) we learn that indeed they aren't.
From pages 5 (Bose Radio), and back cover (WWII battle site tours) we learn they are elderly.
From Page 7 we learn they love Reagan.
From Page 9 we learn Accuracy in Media subsidizes teenagers if they hate Clinton.
From Page 15 we learn that the "Arab Propoganda Machine" has been so effective, that, uh, all Americans love Arabs now?
As usual, they didn't sell enough ads to cover their editorial, so Rev. Moon is subsidizing them yet another week. The only ad that really bugs me is the breast cancer one--faith healers and their ilk make me mad. Check out James Randi's book on the subject for more details. (How come faith healers never go to hospitals full of sick people to perform their miracles? How come regrowing an amputated limb is never one of the miracles?)
Another WT Reality Check next week.
Reality Check: The Washington Times, February 25-March 3, 2002
THE ADVERTISING IN THIS WEEKS' WT:
P. 7 Watch the Judicial Watch Report on DC TV Ch. 5, Greenbelt Ch.58 and on the Dish Network's "Sky Angel". Their motto: "We don't just report the news. We make the news."
P. 9 (1/3 page) Order books where "Government insiders reveal the misconduct by U.S. personnel that insured the success of September 11"...
P. 11 (1/2 page) Order the Bose Quiet Comfort Headphones.
P. 14 Movies & Memories, order videos of movies and TV shows, heavily tilted to the 1930's, 40's and 50's. Interestingly, between Shirly Temple and the Honymooners is the "Occult History of the Third Reich."
PP. 21-22 Sun Pure Air Purifier: "Dust mites are an unpleasant reality most of us know little about!"
P. 25 One of those way too much text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address.
P. 27 American Foundation Publications sells books, such as a "History of the United States". ("American history the RIGHT way, from a master scholar of the 19th century.")
P. 34 The Washington Times wants you to go to the Washington Times web site.
P. 40, Back Cover The Washington Times wants you to subscribe to the Washington Times.
The easiest way to tell what the readers of a magazine are like is to look at the magazines advertising, therefore:
P. 7 If only they would change their slogan to "We make up the news."
P. 9 "...defense against the vast terrorist threat requires identifying, removing the guilty, and acting to prevent a continuation of misconduct by government officials..."
P. 11 "No highs, no lows, must be Bose."
P. 14 Advertise in the WT to reach that lucrative aged 80 plus demographic.
P. 21-22 NEVER use the transporter during an ion storm, or you may end up in the Unpleasant Reality of Dust Mites.
P. 25 I charged my well only ONCE with your water and milk production went up every month on my farm and the farm next door for a year!
P. 27 Pay full cover price. For material in the public domain. (Please note that additional history may have happened since the 1800's, consult your local public library).
Yet again, the editors of the WT think their readers are A) morons or B) elderly or C) A+B.
------------------------
Note 1.
7 pages of paid advertising out of 40 do not a profitable publication make. We'll have to disqualify pages 34 and the back cover, since it is very hard to generate revenue with your own ads in your own newspaper. (Unless you can make thousands by writing a check to yourself, cashing it, writing another check to yourself, cashing it, etc.). A self sustaining magazine has to be about 50% advertising to survive. Pick the magazine or newspaper of your choice and compare square inches of editorial with square inches of advertising if you disagree. Not only that, the inside front cover, inside back cover, and back cover are the most valuable magazine real estate, yet they couldn't sell it to anybody. This is clearly a subsidized paper, but this is hardly news to the readers of this forum.
Reality Check: The Washington Times, February 18-24, 2002
The easiest way to tell what the readers of a magazine are like is to look at its advertising.
THE DATA:
Page 7 In House Lobbyist Software Helps You Quickly, Effectively and Easily Influence Congress "Join the thousands of consevatives who are fighting back. You can send hundreds of personalized email, letters and faxes in just seconds."
$79.95 + $4.95 S&H
Page 9 Videos, such as the "Clinton Atrocities" for $35.
Page 11 The Washington Times wants you do donate $35 to the Washington Times to get the Washington Times in school classrooms.
Page 14 "These three unique reports could make--and save--you thousands of dollars! $20
Page 20-21 Two full pages by the folks who argue that the IRS is unconstitutional
Page 25 One of those way too much text ads for something that adds oxygen to water. Don't send money, just your name and address.
Page 27 Amass A Harvard Graduates Vocabulary in just 15 minutes a day! Available on CD's or cassettes, call for price.
Page 34 The Washington Times wants you to go to the Washington Times web site.
Back Cover, page 40. Tough, Fair, Honest. The Washington Times wants you to subscribe to the Washington Times.
THE CONCLUSIONs: (CONCLUSION ONE OF TWO)
7 pages of paid advertising out of 40 do not a profitable publication make. We'll have to disallow pages 11, 34, and Back Cover, since it is very hard to generate revenue with your own ads in your own newspaper. (Unless you can make thousands by writing a check to yourself, cashing it, writing another check to yourself, cashing it, etc.).
A self sustaining magazine has to be about 50% advertising to survive. Pick the magazine or newspaper of your choice and compare square inches of editorial to square inches of advertising if you disagree. Not only that, the inside front cover, inside back cover, and back cover are the most valuable magazine real estate, yet they couldn't sell it to anybody?
This is clearly a subsidized paper, but this is hardly news to the readers of this forum.
(CONCLUSION TWO OF TWO)
The editors think the readers of the Washington Times are dumb enough to believe that:
1. Our Representatives read spam.
2. "if it can be shown that the Branch Davidians at Waco were intentionally tortured and murdered and the atrocity was orchestrated by Clinton, then he is truly capable of ANYTHING-including the selling of American Security."
2. Buying a secret report for $20 will make--and save--you thousands of dollars!
3. You can get rid of the IRS.
4. I charged my well only ONCE with your water and milk production went up every month on my farm and the farm next door for a year!
5. My limited vocabulary is the only thing holding me back.
http://www.unification.net/
http://www.oocities.org/drdemo2000/