| This one started out with your friend and mine, Al Yankovic, wandering around in a forest late at night. I was watching this on TV. Al turns to the camera and says “As much as I love wandering around in the forest at night, I watch a lotta movies, so I’m an inherent coward. ‘Cause I know that when the lights go out, the really freaky stuff starts happening.” Al continues to wander for about another minute when he spots a shack. Sighing in relief, he runs for it. He approaches the door at full speed, grabs the handle, slams it open and dives through it. (At this point the POV switched to inside the shack looking at the door.) As he skids to a halt, he notices that his old glasses and his moustache have magically appeared on his face. “What the…” He starts patting his face, trying to see if there’s anything else there that wasn’t before. I walk up to him (suddenly I’m on TV as well) and Al sighs, grabs the moustache with one hand, the glasses with the other, and rips them off his face. He then hands them to me, and I put them in my pocket. As I stuff my pocket with discarded facial hair and optical enhancers, Al is piqued by the pizza box in the corner. He tears the box open, revealing four pieces of cheese pizza. He picks up one, tilts his head back and swallows it whole. Then, he notices the coupon that was laying on the pizza box. “Pizza…for 27.99!!” he cries, picking up the coupon. The 27 suddenly comes off the paper (the paper fell apart, leaving only the 27) and he hugs the number to his chest as romantic music plays. “Is this the sacred number?” he says, as he leans over. (You know in the end of UHF when they’re kissing? Well, Al’s doing the same thing with a piece of paper the size of a CD. Bending with it, I mean, not kissing it.) Well, this sets me off-I bust up laughing. Al gives me a goofy, cheesy grin as the door swings open and two random guys come in. Al-seeking to impress them-says “You know that guy from Motley Crue? I invented that move!” He was referring to one where the guy in question was dressed almost entirely in fishnet material, staring at the camera while crouching and bouncing his guitar slowly on his leg. And I-seeking to compliment Al- said “Yeah, Al, you’re so clingy we could use you as sliced cheese wrap.” (I don’t even want to KNOW where that came from. Rest assured that making sandwiches now has an entirely new dimension.) Al-who had been standing in the other corner-decides to walk over to me. He strolls over, stands so that he is touching me-almost shoving me over a step or two-and says “Don’t you think it’s a little….close…in here?” I turn and look at him-“Hey pal, you walked over HERE.” Al retreats back to the corner, and we four finish off the rest of the pizza. And now-the really really weird part. I dreamed this twice in a row-exactly the same except for one little detail. When Al opened the pizza box in the second one, I said to him “Hey, it’s like we’ve gone back in time or something,” and he gave me a guilty look. And later on that morning, I had this very short dream: Jim’s STUPID! Jim West joined the Stupid Club and posted a message! My Take On Them Next Dream |
| Deja Vu All Over Again 06/19/01 |