| I was in Central Auditorium, watching a play about Bill the Cat. (You remember good ol’ Bill the Cat. He was in Outland/Bloom County…big orange cat that barfs a lot…plays electric tongue…Ah, you DO remember.) The play was kind of interesting…but the costume didn’t look a lot like Bill, so I wasn’t paying too much attention. The curtain dropped, and I politely applauded and started looking for my coat so I could get OUT of there. (Just for reference, for some reason I had gotten all dressed up in my best dress and heels to go see this play about a barfing cartoon cat. Go figure.) Just then, the house lights went out. A spotlight flicked on. I settled back in my seat to see what was going on. A very familiar man stepped out on stage. Talk about a rush of energy. Being the rabid fan I am, I was up on my feet faster than lightning. Al smiled at the crowd, ran his hand through his hair, and threaded his hand through the strap on his accordion. Adopting the classic look that goes with the song (slightly spacey, as if his hands are playing the music with no help from his brain, and he’s hearing it for the first time) he launches into Another One Rides the Bus. I’m cheering. I’m singing along. I’m making a complete and total idiot of myself. But it’s okay, because it’s all for a good cause…worshiping Al. ;) Throughout the song, Al wanders around the stage in front of the still-dropped curtain, occasionally adding in some hip movements a la Laundry Day. Yay! When the song is over, Al waves at the audience, sets the accordion down, and jogs offstage. The spotlight goes out, and the house lights are still down. It’s pitch black. The audience started shifting around nervously, wondering what would happen next. The sound of a keyboard sears through the air. Around the perimeter of the curtain, we can see flashing yellow lights. The curtain flies up to reveal Al and the band, clad in yellow protective clothing, daring to be stupid. Dare to Be Stupid is my absolute favorite Al song, so hearing it live does strange things to me. I freak out. I start singing at the top of my lungs, jumping to the beat of the music, dancing like a wild thing, having the time of my life. And all this in heels and my best dress. ;) The guys finish the song, and receive a tumultuous round of applause. Everyone in the place is standing and clapping. Me? I’m screaming my adoration at the top of my lungs. I figured they were done, because the lights came halfway back up. I grabbed my coat and bolted out the door of the lobby, skidded left, and tore off to wait like a starving puppy at the backstage door. The door was open, and the guys were all milling around in the area right below the stairs leading to the male dressing room. They were carrying on a conversation in low tones. Jim caught sight of me and went completely silent. One by one, they noticed me standing there, sweaty, hoarse, and nervously grinning like a lunatic. Al sized me up, looked at the others (who nodded) and beckoned me inside. Turns out that they weren’t done after all. They were still supposed to perform It’s All About the Pentiums, but the silver suit and the nerd costumes had been sent to the dry cleaners. Since I was a native, might I know where one could get hold of some costumes that weren’t street clothes or Stupid suits? Of course I did! I went into the female dressing room and pulled out the Rocky Horror Picture Show costumes. The only ones there were Transylvanian costumes and Magenta’s maid outfit. Al handed out suits and tossed me the maid outfit. I stared. “Well, you did find them. Wanna come perform with us?” Are knives sharp? Is the sky blue? Of COURSE I did! The guys all went upstairs and changed while I struggled into the maid costume. I walked out of the dressing room, complimented the weird Transylvanians, and we all strolled onstage. They played and sang IAATP. I danced just like the gals in the video. But since there weren’t any other girls, I had to dance right up next to Al so people could see me. So during the few seconds when Al wasn’t rapping, we danced together. Talk about a good time! After the song was over, roadies ran onstage and cleared it of instrumental impedimentia, put the set back up, and scampered away in under thirty seconds. Al, the guys, and I started to walk offstage. In the wing, hidden from the audience, the director was quietly having a nervous breakdown. He refused to let us leave the stage, since his actors had all disappeared and the audience was there for another hour. Well, Al and the guys didn’t have any other songs to perform. So we started performing the Rocky Horror Picture Show…well, that was the basis, anyway. It ended up with me discovering a teacup with black stuff in it, and then a battle royale as everyone insisted that it wasn’t THEIR teacup and that it wasn’t their fault. “I think it was yours.” “No, no no. I just picked it up and passed it…” Al’s eyes glinted mischievously. “…to the LEFT.” Suddenly, the music to Time Warp blared out of the speakers. We shrugged. “And then a step to the ri-i-i-i-i-ight…” And after we sang the whole song, I woke up. My Take On It Next Dream |
| The Stupid Bill the Cat Picture Show 07/12/01 |