Entry032402

03/24/02 - I have a zest for life ... I cannot wallow. I am proud of my passion.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live
the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common
hours.” - Henry David Thoreau

However, zestful and passionate or not, I do have a little problem with that
endeavoring part. Maybe I get sidetracked (kids will do that to you) or maybe I
get stuck (exhaustion comes into mind here). But somehow I don’t think I’m
totally endeavoring to live the life which I have imagined. Oh yeah, once and a
while I get that feeling, like this is the way it’s supposed to be. That’s happened
to me while in the midst of a favorite moment, or favorite person, or actually even
a stranger. Last night I was enjoying a few moments of companionship with a
new friend, Jean-Claude. Yes, he was French and 27 years old. He spoke very
little English, though he was here getting some work training at our local think
tank. I think the language spoken there is mathematics, so his lack of English
wouldn’t be a problem. Jean-Claude and I were actually getting along, I was
straining my brain getting my seldom used French to kick in. And then he said to
me in perfect English ... I want to have you. Oh yeah? Yeah, you and everyone
else. I said no. But, it was a moment. That fresh, young face showed nothing but
passion at that point. I took it as a complement. I admired the passion, leave it to
the French.

Now this next part comes from my notebook that I’ve been carrying around in my
purse for the last year and a half or so. This notebook is just for the purpose of
noting this and that’s that come to me in my journeys here and there. This
particular passage was one of my first written there:

However, I have learned something - my heart heals and grows stronger and
larger. I’m a taker too. I take the best parts, the beauty, the depth and the
passion. I do not wallow in love lost ... I spring forth, alive in love shared. There
is more ... it is abundant.

I am proud of my passion.