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Dream A Little Dream ...

07/07/02 -  I’m not going there ... That’s all I’m going to say about that. What’s to be
confused about? ... I’m too old to be confused. It’s more about feelings. I don’t
know what I feel. That’s not right either. I’m not confused about how I feel. I know
for a fact that I’m feeling good some of the time, and not feeling good the other
some of the time. Anyway, the details of what I’m talking about are personal and
the thoughts I’m having about them are mine and mine alone. I read somewhere
that an unpublished autobiography is actually just a diary. I want this journal to
have some semblance to a diary, but I’m really not into writing my
autobiography. I’m so totally way far away from getting to the end to even want
to start that.

But this journal has always been more about feelings than details anyway, I
think. I keep all those details in another journal, don’t worry, one that’s pretty
impossible for anyone to get into or find even. In that other journal I do a lot of
free writing, spill it all out stuff. I’ve had a sort of quota for it, a word count thing. I
want to have at least as many pages a month in it as there are in a month. Each
page is a little more than 500 words. Most of these online entries are about 500
words, give or take. Last month was a stretch for me. I was at the middle of the
month with only seven pages written. I had to buckle down and force myself to
write, almost. I ended up with a healthy 33 pages. Good job. This month though,
I’m already at 22 pages ... looks like I’ve hit upon an inspiring month, finally. I
was due for one. With the upcoming move and all, I may even end up with a
novel length month. Whew!

That’s all I can say about writing now. I can only spend a limited amount of time
on it. I’ll save the rest, along with some reading, during spare moments at work.
Sleep takes care of itself and I’m getting enough, taking little cat naps when I
can. Those are pretty sweet. I can’t say I’m staying on my goal for the
decluttering, but I’m still at it. The decluttering in the garage has become ... well,
disgusting. The garage is dirty and dusty and it’s full of old dirty and dusty
memories. Good ridance to bad rubbish, I guess. I try to stay positive. I did come
across one interesting find. Nestled in one box of hodge podge was a beautiful
crystal I don’t know ... I’m not really sure what it is. I think it may be a beverage
glass or perhaps an old fashioned (as in the drink) glass, or may it’s even a vase
of sorts. I only have foggy memories of where this came from. I think it was given
to me as a gift, or maybe a sales contest prize. Maybe I was supposed to earn
the other five, if it’s indeed a glass. I just don’t know. But, considering I found it in
perfect shape, and it cleaned up real bright and sparkly, I’m keeping it. I know,
I’m trying to limit my self to the bare bones, but ... maybe that whatever will
remind me that there is a “crystal” light at the end of the tunnel.