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| Dream A Little Dream ... |
07/15/02 - Remember this one, kids are not clones ... they are offspring. The fact they came from us, doesn’t mean they think like us or act like us. They spring off, out, up, and over we hope ... over there. My boys have settled down this summer. The restlessness has stopped, at least until they start squirming with back to school anticipation. That’s later. This is now. They have been easier to approach lately. And, helpful too, not greatly, but they are trying. Living a simple life really is simple, I tell them ... no, I urge them. The move is progressing. No, that’s not true. If it were progressing, I would actually be moving. I’m not, still in the preparatory stage. Old life is decreasing. Searching is increasing. I’ve looked at a couple of places so far. It turned out to be too hot on the weekend to drive around in a car with no A/C. I’m going to be here where I am another month. I’ve had to go ahead and pay the rent. Two weeks notice wasn’t enough for me. It looks like I’ll be moving into a place much smaller than I now have. Down from three bedrooms to two. The Jock is going to become an official guest once the move is made. He’ll have no bedroom of his own, just a couch to crash on when he’s home during visits. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. They have shown some concern over the changes taking place. Why will everything be so different? Why can’t things stay the same? Do they really think I can keep this up forever? I’ve been at this child rearing thing for 23 years now. It’s time for me to lighten up. The Child is looking forward to being an “only.” I was reading an article on impermanence. I can’t find it now. I may have decided to be good and throw something away. That figures, thought I would never need it, I guess. Anyway, it was about changes being facts of life and not to get attached and all that ... things I’ve heard before. It’s so hard to do. Looking to get simple while all the while fighting the urge to hold on. I’m hanging in there, haven’t panicked yet. I was trying to talk about this stuff with the boys last night. One of them said it’s like that phrase ... If you find it, let it go. Hmmm, we all stopped and then laughed. That doesn’t quite make sense, does it? He said, well, it’s something about love. Oh, I think he’s thinking of ... If you love them, let them go. If it’s meant to be, they will come back to you. That’s what he meant ... that’s it. |