Be sure to meet with your lawyer at least an hour prior to the DV (Domestic Violence) hearing. I assume when you initially consulted with the lawyer, you told your whole story, he took notes and told you when and where to meet him. Lawyers are very busy people representing many cases and therefore can not be waiting for you at the phone every time you call, be careful not to run up your legal bill. Every time you call and he reads your message, you pay for 15 minutes of time.

The original assumption of the judge or district commissioner ordering you out of the house was that the petitioner was being truthful. If they are successful at getting a finding against you, then they will start outright lying in the following divorce and custody hearings because they know the judge won't do anything to them. No one has been prosecuted in many, many years for perjury in a Family Law case, this is by the admission of judges and States Attorney.

In the example given above, if you go on the witness stand to say something different the opposing counsel will point blank ask you if your wife said or intimated at any point she didn't want to have sex, and if you say she changed her mind, you are guilty, because the judge will say she was intimidated and couldn't say no. You should talk with your lawyer about not taking the witness stand, it is not a good idea given that you open yourself to questions by the opposing attorney and judge. As much as you want to tell your side of the story, as far as the court is concerned, other than your confession or admission, it is irrelevant because "everyone who is accused will claim they are innocent and recount a version of the facts to demonstrate their innocence." Remember, in the legal arena, every word you speak can and will be used against you and therefore it is usually better to say nothing at all. You do not have the 5th Amendment protections of the Constitution in a Civil law court. It is your lawyer's job to "shield you" and therefore their questioning will take into account your version of the story and they can ask questions starting with "Isn't it true your husband said this or that..., Isn't it true your husband did not ever raise a hand to you the entire marriage..., etc..."

While you may not be found to have committed domestic violence, you may be offered by the judge to accept a ruling that "orders you not to harm or threaten the petitioner", talk with you lawyer but you should recognize that accepting this order means that any action you take in the future, even shaking your finger at her, will be grounds to have you removed from the house because at that point the petitioner can make any allegation and the court will find in their favor because once so ordered, the law does not require a reasonable basis for the fear. Talk with your lawyer about the response, it should be something to the effect that you will obey the existing laws but not accept the increased liability of such a ruling.

Do yourself a favor, no matter how outraged you are at what has happened, do not make the situation worse by contacting her in any way, by phone, in person, or via friends or relatives or children. Do not show your outrage or anger in the courtroom, the judge will use that as an excuse that you have an Anger Issue. Do not make a fist at your side to control yourself, do not waive your hand in any manner, if you are a person who talks using your hands, hold onto the desk or chair to not move your hands. It is best to keep your hands folded in front of you or on your lap. When looking at the judge, do not make facial expressions other than a forlorn look, if you need to fix your eyes on something either focus on the person speaking at the time or look at the podium below the judge. It is ok to be sad but do not cry otherwise you will be accused of putting on an act. You are a man, the stereotype of your group is of a silent, cold and calculating person. Remember, the judges and opposing lawyer are looking for anything that can justify permanently removing you from the home. Talk with your lawyer about these things. Bring a pen and notepad to jot down notes for your lawyer on her inconsistent testimony so he can question her better. The microphone is on at the table at all times, so write (print clearly) all questions and comments to your attorney.

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