They say that the average person swallows two spiders a month in their sleep. That's hilarious. Some person is allergic to spiders, they don't know it, and they wonder why they're sick all the time.
Well, if spiders can crawl down your throat while you are sleeping without you knowing it, what's to say all sorts of different kinds of bugs don't crawl into any of your other orafices? Like a centipede crawling in your nostril or ants crawling around in your lower undergarment area. That's right, I said Ants in your Pants! Imagine waking up and getting out of bed, then looking down and seeing an army of killer red ants running in and out of your genitalia. Kinda makes you want to eat.
That means earwigs can get into your ears. Now I've been told that earwigs
do this to people on a regular basis. They then dig their way into your brain,
where the fluids in your head drown them and we all have a whole bunch of
earwig corpses clinging to our cerebrums.
I don't buy the earwig corpse thing. You know what they really do? They get in right next to your brain, and instead of dying, they omit a silent bug signal to the Earwig King. The Earwig King controls us. He is our master.
BOW DOWN TO THE EARWIG KING!
© 1997 kyle t.
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