I went downstairs to see if the chicken pot pie I had put in the oven the
night before at 450 degrees was done cooking. I opened the oven door, and
the chicken pot pie had been STOLEN! The only thing that had been left in
its place was a small pile of black powder, which I naturally assumed to
be a ransom note for the pie demanding some sum of money in exchange for
my valuable poultry dish. The only thing was, the culprit of this heinous
crime was too STUPID to realize that a ransom note left in an oven set at
450 degrees would soon become nothing short of a cinder. What a bastard.
With no way of finding out just where my chicken pot pie had been taken, I decided to play a trick on this evil kidnapper. I placed ANOTHER chicken pot pie in the oven overnight, again at 450 degrees, but this time I put a digital watch inside of the pie and set the alarm on it. How I wished I could see the look on the criminal's face when an ALARM went off in the pie he just stole!
Unfortunately, I awoke to discover that the second pie had been stolen as well, and sitting proxy for it was another burnt-up ransom note and a melted watch. I now knew that the criminal mastermind I was dealing with was no idiot. He was a genius. But I would let him outsmart me no more.
The next night, I lit a stick of dynamite and put it in the oven next to the chicken pot pie. But the sinister thief must have been watching me from a window or something and he blew up my house! I was almost killed.
Now, with no oven to cook my pot pies in, I have to eat them frozen. I have not been bothered by this evil man since.
© 1997 kyle t.
IMPROVINOVELS
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