The l33t Programming Language


(An Evil Programming Language By Stephen McGreal and Alex Mole)

  With thanks to Kamal Advani and Kuisma Salonen for helping in ironing out some of the obscure wordings in the spec...


"l33t sp34k" is the international internet language coined by script kiddies and trolls who like to clutter up message boards and chat rooms with their claims of being "l33t H4xX0r5". Anyone who can't read their seemingly arbitrary dialect, or has to ask how "l33t" is pronounced is declared to be "teh sUxX0r". But in fact, you are about to read conclusive proof that l33t sp34k does indeed have a deeper purpose than making peoples' eyes hurt - It's a programming language!

l33t is an esoteric language based loosely on BrainF***, and influenced by Beatnik. Like other languages of its ilk, it was designed to be as brain-melting as possible to code in whilst still being Turing complete. The language has some interesting distinguishing features, such as the possibility for self-modifying code and for connectivity - it's theoretically possible to use it to write viruses and other such antisocial software but the actual logistics of trying to write such a program put it well beyond the cognitive capabilities of the average script kiddie. Look here for the full language specification, here for some sample programs, and here for some interpreters and links to related sites. But just to whet your appetite, here is the canonical "Hello World" program. 

// "Hello World" by Stephen McGreal.
// Note that the views expressed in this source code do not necessarily coincide with those of the author :o)

Gr34t l33tN3$$?
iT 41n't s0 7rIckY.

l33t sP33k is U8er keWl 4nD eA5y wehn u 7hink 1t tHr0uGh.
1f u w4nn4be UB3R-l33t u d3f1n1t3lY w4nt in 0n a b4d4sS h4xX0r1ng s1tE!!! ;p
w4r3Z c0ll3cT10n2 r 7eh l3Et3r!

Qu4k3 cL4nS r 7eh bE5t tH1ng 1n teh 3nTIr3 w0rlD!!!
g4m3s wh3r3 u g3t to 5h00t ppl r 70tAl1_y w1cK1d!!
I'M teh fr4GM4stEr aN I'lL t0t41_1Ly wIpE teh phr34k1ng fL00r ***j3d1 5tYlE*** wItH y0uR h1dE!!!! L0L0L0L!
t3lEphR4gG1nG l4m3rs wit mY m8tes r34lLy k1kK$ A$$

l33t hAxX0r$ CrE4t3 u8er- k3wL 5tUff lIkE n34t pR0gR4mm1nG lAnguidGe$...
s0m3tIm3$ teh l4nGu4gES l00k jUst l1k3 rE41_ 0neS 7o mAkE ppl Th1nk th3y'r3 ju$t n0rMal lEE7 5pEEk but th3y're 5ecRetLy c0dE!!!!
n080DY unDer5tAnD$ l33t SpEaK 4p4rT fr0m j3d1!!!!!
50mE kId 0n A me$$4gEb04rD m1ghT 8E a r0xX0r1nG hAxX0r wH0 w4nT2 t0 bR34k 5tuFf, 0r mAyb3 ju5t sh0w 7eh wAy5 l33t ppl cAn 8E m0re lIkE y0d4!!! hE i5 teh u8ER!!!!
1t m1ght 8E 5omE v1rus 0r a Pl4ySt4tI0n ch34t c0dE.
1t 3v3n MiTe jUs7 s4y "H3LL0 W0RLD!!!" u ju5t cAn'T gu3s5.
tH3r3's n3v3r anY p0iNt l00KiNg sC3pT1c4l c0s th4t, be1_1Ev3 iT 0r n0t, 1s whAt th1s 1s!!!!!



©2005 Stephen McGreal