Gods and Other Monsters
by Elvichar
Autolycus was grinning in spite of himself. Sure he'd messed up the chance to steal the biggest ruby in the world, but he had stolen the key to the cell the big ape of a guard was dragging him to. He'd be out of this place in no time.
The guard threw him into the dimly lit room.
"And I'll have that key too," he said.
Autolycus silently cursed the gods who made him.
He was just settling into his cell in his usual fashion. The guard had been kind enough not to chain him to the wall, so he was using this time to pace, stroking his chin and considering his options, when a groan in the far corner alerted him to another prisoner's presence.
"Hello," Autolycus said as he walked to the figure, "I'm planning a daring escape- I can rescue you if you want."
Autolycus tried to see in the Stygian darkness. He moved his face closer to the chained prisoner, and jumped back as the man looked up.
"Hello Autolycus, nice to see you again - it's been a while."
"Hercules?" Autolycus was shocked - Hercules, the strongest man in the world, chained to a wall.
"Yep. You going to rescue me then, or am I going to have to stay here for all eternity?"
"Can't you just snap the metal?" Autolycus was a mite confused now.
"'Fraid not - I seem to have mislaid my strength," Hercules smiled wanly.
"You've lost your strength - how in Tartarus did that happen?"
Hercules explained briefly. A few days before Iolaus had got into his head that it would be really, fun, to join the army of Alexander of Macedonia.
"That guy who think he's great?" Autolycus interrupted. Hercules nodded slowly.
""I didn't want to join him - said it was a stupid idea - so Iolaus and I argued, we both said some things we shouldn't have, and he went his way I went mine."
"That doesn't explain how you lost your strength," Autolycus was getting even more confused, "Or why you're here."
"I was getting to that. About half a day after he left I stopped off at an inn to catch my breath. For some reason I'd been feeling strange all day, and I just couldn't carry on any longer. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when these four ugly looking locals decided to pick a fight. I wasn't in the mood so I told them to leave me alone. They didn't want to. I was forced to fight. But I couldn't, I just didn't feel like it any more. Unfortunately one of the guys got carried away - he threw himself onto someone else's sword. As I wasn't local I got blamed for the whole thing - and here I am."
"Unfortunate," Autolycus raised his eyebrow, "I suppose it's up to me to use my superior intellect and ready wit to save us both then."
Autolycus fumbled with the chains and freed Hercules in a matter of seconds, "You can thank me later," he said smugly.
"We're still trapped in this prison," Hercules pointed out.
Autolycus looked around and spotted a small stick near where Hercules had been chained. He picked it up and carried it to the window of the cell.
"Watch and learn," he smiled.
Hercules couldn't see how he managed it, but in a matter of seconds the window was open. It was just about large enough for them to escape. A ledge outside was easily negotiated and the two men climbed to the roof - Hercules nearly slipped, but Autolycus managed to grab his arm - pulling him to safety.
Once in the forest surrounding the prison they ran until they reached a small clearing.
"I owe you one Autolycus - thanks," Hercules rested his arms on his thighs as he bent over to catch his breath.
"So, Blondie left you?"
The demigod slowly raised himself to look at the King of Thieves.
"Well I wouldn't have put it like that exactly but yes."
"Too bad. Have you thought about a replacement yet?"
"It's a bit premature, Iolaus only left yesterday..."
"Yes and you're still getting over him, I understand."
Hercules stared at Autolycus.
"What exactly do you think was happening between me and Iolaus?"
Autolycus raised his eyebrows.
Not wanting to stand there taking the
masterthief's insinuations Hercules began to stride away from
the clearing, into the depths of the forest. He hadn't gone too
far when a stitch in his side doubled him up. Autolycus, following
close behind soon caught him up.
"Hey, hey, wait up big guy - I meant no harm - it's just..."
"Just what?" Hercules sat down on a mossy tree stump to catch his breath. The demigod's breathlessness did not go unnoticed by Autolycus.
"Are you all right - you seem a bit peaky?"
"I'll be fine, I'm just a little..."
"Love sick?" Chimed in Autolycus before he could stop himself.
Hercules was too exhausted to storm off again so he pretended he hadn't heard.
Autolycus sat beside the demigod and
sighed. "You know," he said, "I sometimes get lonely
too -
you shouldn't let it get to you."
"Lonely? What makes you think I'm lonely?" Hercules scoffed.
Autolycus paused - this was a harder subject to broach than he'd thought. And they were still far too close to the prison, they should get moving soon - but Hercules seemed so weak and tired.
"We should keep going, "Hercules
said, as if he was reading the thief's mind.
Autolycus helped the demigod to his feet and Hercules continued
to lean on his shoulder as they made their way through the undergrowth
. After a while both men realised they were completely lost. It
was getting dark, the end of the trees was nowhere in sight and
there was no sign of a path. The scrub had opened out slightly
and there was just enough ground to make a camp - but as neither
of them had any equipment it was going to be a rough, cold night.
"It looks like we're going to have to snuggle together to keep warm," Autolycus ventured.
"I'm afraid you're right," Hercules said glumly.
Autolycus was hurt - most people would give their right arm for the privilege of sleeping so close to the King of Thieves.
The two found a fairly soft piece of ground and attempted to make a fire. It took about 20 minutes but they eventually managed to create a tiny flame.
They settled down next trying to keep warm.
"You know I never did apologise for that horse thing did I?" Many years ago Autolycus had sold a herd of horses to the demigod. Hercules had passed these on as a gift and had been shocked and dismayed to find that the horses had never belonged to Autolycus in the conventional sense. He had stolen them. The sequence of events following the incident had lead to a year of semi-slavery for Hercules.
"You're forgiven," Hercules
said. He wouldn't have admitted it directly but he'd had fun as
a slave.
"Wow - you let things go don't you...?" Autolycus bit
his tongue when he thought of Iolaus and how it probably hadn't
been that easy for the hero to let go of him.
"Hey," said Hercules, "We're family don't worry about it."
Autolycus was confused, "Family? That's very kind of you, but we've surely never been that close?"
"No - we're real family - after all my father is Zeus, yours is Hermes - obviously we're related."
"Hold up there big fella - my father is Hermes - god with the winged hat, nifty shoes?"
Hercules looked at Autolycus with bemusement, "You mean you didn't know?"
"I'm half god?" Autolycus was stunned.
"Well you are King of the Thieves - that sort of thing doesn't just happen."
The full implications dawned on the thief, "Wait a minute - you're my uncle? I'm lusting after my uncle...oops." Autolycus hadn't meant to say that last bit aloud.
"Lusting after me?" Hercules laughed nervously and stared at the fire, Autolycus joined in with the laughter. The two fell silent and tried to pretend no-one had said anything.
"So," Autolycus said after a while, "Son of a god?"
Hercules was relieved to get back to the original subject, "Yep you're the son of a god."
Autolycus fell silent again, considering the information. He decided to speak, he knew he'd probably regret this, but it was worth a try, "Hercules - gods have very different morals to humans don't they?"
Hercules nodded slowly, "I suppose you could say that."
"I mean Ares and Aphrodite are brother
and sister but they've...you know.. I mean how else do you
explain Cupid? Or is he Hermes' son too?"
"Autolycus are you leading to something?" Hercules looked at this particular son of Hermes with a wry smile.
"Yes," Autolycus said very definitely, "I'm saying as gods have different moral standards, and as we're both half-god - if I can believe what you've told me - then we sort of owe it to ourselves to... do the deed."
A short burst of laughter sprung from Hercules.
"Autolycus, I can't believe you just said that."
Autolycus was crestfallen, "Then the answer is no?" He said miserably.
"Did I say that?"
"What about Iolaus?"
Hercules looked a little bemused, " What do you mean 'What about Iolaus'?"
"You mean you two are not together?"
"Gods no - not like that. Does that surprise you?"
"Well yes - you're so weak without him by your side - naturally I assumed you were pining after him,
"Autolycus stopped for a second, a slow realisation dawning, "Unless... you don't know you're in love with him."
"What? That's ridiculous - if I can quite happily go along with your little scheme to seduce me why would I deny myself to Iolaus if I had the slightest..."
"Aha - methinks you do protest to much."
"Methinks? Who talks like that?"
"Don't change the subject - you're hung up on him."
"Am not."
"Well as much as I would love to get my hands on your quite...delicious body," Autolycus sighed deeply, "I am far too noble to stand in the way of true love."
"You've gone mad." Hercules poked at the fire again - the tiny flames were nearly extinguished by his ministrations.
"I have not gone mad - I am half god, I know everything," Autolycus lay back with his hands behind his head. Half-god - yes it made sense, explained so many things. Why he was so devilishly handsome, so totally irresistible for instance.
"You've accepted that information
pretty quickly haven't you? And I see it hasn't gone to your head."
Autolycus looked at the demigod and sighed again. What was happening
here? Hercules was right - in a matter of minute he'd run the
gamut of emotions from shock and surprise to lust, followed by
self-sacrifice and noble acceptance and then rabid egomania. This
was mighty strange.
A tinkling laugh echoed around the clearing. The two demigods looked around to find the cause. They didn't have to look for long. The air turned silver and a tanned figure, slightly less than lithe appeared before them.
"Hermes?" Hercules recognised his sibling immediately.
"Dad?" Autolycus countered.
"Hey - you've grown, "Hermes looked at Hercules, "I lose track of time - last time I saw this one he was... hey wait a minute I don't think I ever bothered looking in on him. What's his name?"
"Autolycus," Hercules offered. He shook his head, "I can't believe you never told him who his father is Hermes."
Autolycus was staring at the god with awe. He was too stunned to speak.
"Hey little brother, "Hermes glared at Hercules, "I've got things to do, messages to deliver, you can't expect me to contact every half-breed I make."
"How many have you got?" Hercules was angered at Hermes' words - it stung to be reminded of his own position with Zeus.
"I can't keep track of trivial things like that," Hermes hazarded a guess based on the number of mortal women he'd seduced, "One - I think the others were by nymphs and things."
"And you can't keep track of them?"
"This one's Autolycus you say?"
"Hermes..." Hercules was getting exasperated.
"Hang on, "Hermes interrupted, "it's all coming back - Chione, about 37 years ago? She was great - daughter of the north wind."
Autolycus had snapped out of his stupor, "My mother was the daughter of the *north wind*? Don't you think I'd remember that?"
"I've got a few more kids somewhere - hang on - a poet guy... Daphnis - his mother was a nymph from Sicily.. lovely mover. Then, who else...um.. Myrtilus I think - that was with a mortal. Oh and one other - with Aphrodite."
"Hermaphroditus?"
"That's the one - cool kid."
"So you only have four children you know about and you've never bothered to contact Autolycus?" Hercules was upset on the thief's behalf.
"Well I'm here now aren't I? And I gave him the gift of invisibility."
"What?" Autolycus and Hercules both said in unison.
"What gift of invisibility?" Autolycus added.
Hermes acknowledged his new-found son, "Oh, didn't your mother tell you about that?"
"No." Autolycus looked surprised, mainly because he was.
"You can make yourself invisible whenever you want. I would have thought that would come in pretty useful," Hermes said conspiratorially. "I got to go now...important messages waiting." Hermes disappeared in a streak of light.
Autolycus and Hercules sat in stunned silence for a long time after the god's departure.
Eventually Autolycus said, "funny I feel mortal - but I suppose all this means I'm not even half mortal."
"Grandson of the north wind? Ha - I always knew you were full of hot air Autolycus - now I know why," Hercules started giggling.
"Oh, think it's funny do you?"
Hercules was laughing too much to answer.
That night the two curled up close together
to keep warm. In the middle of the night Autolycus was
woken by the a sound in the depths of the forest. He jumped up
to find the cause.
"Hercules?" He whispered. The demigod rolled over, but stayed asleep. Autolycus decided to try his newly discovered power. But he didn't really know what to do to make it work.
"Ala kazam," he said lamely. Nothing happened.
"Open sesame," again he stayed 100 per cent visible.
"Abracadabra," nope.
"Um," he was beginning to feel stupid, "I am invisible - I am invisible - I am..." He looked down. He was invisible.
"Wow, it works."
Autolycus walked into the forest to try and find the noise. He got less than three feet in when he found the cause - a baby satyr had his hoof caught in a trap.
"Aw - you poor thing ," The invisible Autolycus leaned down and freed the confused creature, who was so shocked at his freedom that he ran away yelling.
Autolycus returned to the clearing. Hercules looked so adorable asleep. A mischievous thought overtook the King of Thieves. He leaned down and stroked the demigod's face. Hercules opened his eyes and Autolycus drew back.
"Autolycus where have you gone?" Hercules jumped up.
"You were supposed to stay asleep while I caressed your prone body," said the invisible semi-demigod, "You've ruined it now."
"Make yourself visible again," Hercules demanded.
Autolycus realised the flaw in his new power, "I....I, don't know how."
"Great."
Autolycus sat on the ground to ponder. Hercules immediately fell over him, sprawling awkwardly.
"Where are you now Autolycus?" Hercules felt around to try and locate the sullen thief. His hands rested on a sensitive part of Autolycus' anatomy. Autolycus gasped and Hercules sprang back.
"No, don't move," Autolycus said, disappointed. To his great surprise Hercules reached out once more.
"Am I getting warm?" He said.
"Down a bit," Autolycus was getting impatient. He grabbed Hercules arm and guided the demigod towards him. Invisible arms tackled Hercules' belt and pulled at his leather pants.
Hercules looked down as his cock hardened. His hands reached down and he felt the soft hair at the back of Autolycus' head. He felt the thief's tongue caressing and his hot mouth close around Hercules' penis. The demigod threw his body back as invisible hands pulled at his hips.
Autolycus moved upwards, teasingly, kissing Hercules' navel, biting at his nipples, eventually reaching his mouth he kissed Hercules long and hard. Hercules opened his eyes and immediately closed then again when met with nothing. It was dark, but not dark enough to disguise Autolycus' state of nothingness. At least with his eyes closed he could imagine. Autolycus pulled away.
"No open your eyes," the thief said, "I want you to see me - please see me..."
Hercules obeyed. He reached out to Autolycus, "Guide me, show me what you want," he said gently, "But don't handle me too roughly, I'm kind of weak myself at the moment."
Autolycus pulled the demigod down, he leaned into Hercules' ear, "Fuck me Hercules," he whispered.
By touch alone they manoeuvred into place.
Gently, slowly, Hercules brought Autolycus to a climax. As they each groaned and writhed with the pleasure and pain Autolycus started to take shape.
Autolycus kneaded at Hercules' arms breathing rhythmically, pushing his body towards the demigod.
"Hercules, am I here, can you see me yet?"
"Yes, I can.. I can see you..." Hercules said.
They came together, the now visible Autolycus felt the sensation through the whole of his body - never before had he felt like this.
Hercules collapsed in to him, exhausted. The two lay entwined together for what seemed like hours.
A rustle in the bushes shocked them out of their reverie. They both looked up and were shocked to see half-a-dozen faces grinning and peering at them through the undergrowth. The baby satyr had obviously alerted his friends and relatives to the presence of strangers and Autolycus and Hercules were now surrounded by the grinning creatures.
Hercules felt compelled to speak, "We're not going to hurt you, don't be afraid, " he said.
One of the satyrs stepped through the bushes into the clearing. He inspected Hercules with a mischievous smile, "We know you won't hurt us - we just wanted to take a look at one of the greatest legends the world has ever known."
Hercules ran his hand through his hair and grinned, "Well I'm flattered..."
"Not you, him," The satyr pointed at Autolycus and looked at Hercules with something approaching disgust, "Why would we be interested in you?"
Autolycus jumped up, "Wait a minute - you think I'm the stuff of legends?"
"Of course you are - look at you, how could you not be," The satyr looked Autolycus up and down, "You are It."
"It?"
"The bomb," The satyr nodded his head.
"Excuse me?"
"I suppose we'd better leave you to it," The satyr looked saciviously at Autolycus, "don't do anything I wouldn't do," The satyr grinned and disappeared back into the darkness of the forest, leaving a stunned Autolycus and an even more stunned Hercules.
"What was he talking about?" Hercules looked at Autolycus with a frown.
"Beats me.," Autolycus smiled
despite himself. He was a legend. How about that? Of course
he'd always known he was something special but wow. He decided
not to let it go to his head - he'd act like an ordinary person
- how noble was that? Sometimes he stunned himself at how great
he was.
Hercules' voice brought him out of his reverie
"Autolycus, it's nearly dawn - maybe we should think of getting out of this forest."
Autolycus smiled at the demigod. A sudden urge overtook him and he reached over to kiss Hercules on the nose.
"My friend - I think you're right."
The night had been eventful. They might do this again - then again maybe not. Autolycus couldn't help feeling he'd been right all along - no matter what he and Hercules got up to the hunky hero would always belong to, and with, that little blond.
Still it was nice to have options.